Tom Hiddleston, British actor who played Loki in the movie Thor, and beloved of many many obsessive and sometimes creepy fangirls on Tumblr, has recently come out.

No, not as gay. As married.

And Tumblr suffers a wanksplosion, monitored gleefully by ONTD, as dozens of "Hiddlestoners" rend their hair and sob into their hug-pillows because some actor who doesn't even know who they are failed to share with them all the details of his personal life.

Let the flouncing commence!

—im so angry right now

For the first time i´ll write something for my own, i´m so sad and angry for this new things about Tom Hiddleston maybe many people think that i am a fucking crazy and maybe i am, i don´t care. But now I REGRET EVERYTHING i don´t like his wife or girlfriend whatever and i don´t think they look “cute” together. He most to said something about this before. This is over for me, i´m not a “hiddlestoner anymore” and just close this chapter of my life.

Goodbye hiddlestoners i won´t vote for him anymore and i need to cleen my dash :(

To which an anon replies:

—I think it's perfectly understandable why you would leave the fandom. I unfollowed many Hiddles blogs. I feel as though I am not ready to accept the couple yet and I want to take my time before returning to the fandom. Though I will admit it was a great fandom while it lasted. It just won't be the same anymore. :/

( Cut because this got surprisingly long )

EDIT: There's more!

—doremiylonenway: all of this thing about the wife is like “OMG, WHAT?” because we have never seen him with her like a couple, we saw pictures of them but we thought “another actress, or just a friend” and yes, it is shocking, I felt like I couldn’t breathe for a second, but honestly, I’m amazed of his ability to keep this in secret or in private, that’s awesome.

right now I feel like “I’ve been through things like this before, I can handle this” maybe this is what I needed to calm down my “obsession”

Not because I think “he’s single, there’s a chance for me to get married with him!!” pff, noo, by “I needed this” I mean.. “He has his own life, it’s time for you to get out of the internet and look for your own”

I now I’ve been wasting so much time here, I won’t let my blog but I need to put my attention on things that are happening in my life, not in someone else’s life… I though I learned this many years ago.

I realized that something is missing in my life right now, like years ago when I started to be a fangirl.

I love to be part of this fandom, I’m not saying goodbye, hiddleston’s army are the best fandom I’ve ever met, I love you all! but suddenly I have all this feelings and emotions… it’s hard.

I just wanted to take this out, thanks for reading!! and I’ll always say this, seriously: I love you :D and I won’t stop loving him

A reply to one of the earliest posts, when the fans were first hearing the news:

—thelusciouslumberjack said: He’s not married… he wouldn’t hide it like that. Why would he? He would at least be wearing his wedding ring.

Yeah, I can't imagine why he wouldn't want his army of possessive fangirls to know that he's married.

EDIT 2: The Morning After:

—nygis: I thought about it a bit last night and this morning, and to me it’s just plain shock. Of course Tom doesn’t owe us every detail of his personal life, and he has done nothing wrong. He hasn’t insulted us or anyone. But I think a lot of us felt at least some kind of connection to him from his interviews or his roles, so it was like we did sort of know him in a weird way. Then yesterday the “he’s married” bomb dropped and it was so out of nowhere that it felt like we didn’t know someone that we’d followed for a long time anymore.

Am I upset or mad at Tom? Absolutely not. Am I puking rainbows over his newly publicized relationship? Nope. But I do feel kind of down today in a bittersweet way, like someone ripped my bandaid off before my little papercut healed. I think I have a right to feel at least a little blue about the unexpected situation.

—mcelise responds: I agree with all of this. Let everyone have their own reactions, and deal in their own way, even if you don’t agree. Don’t be rude and call them crazy and insist that they should react exactly as you do. No one ever reacts the same as another person, and as long as we all realize this and allow everyone space to deal (or not) in the way that is natural to them.

This too, shall pass.

—suphiddles: The thing that dissapoints me is the huge loss of character: normally he’s so open and charming with the press and his fans( that is one of the things which made me like him as an actor so much) but now it’s just bamn- no warning- no inkling of this absolutely enormous elephant in the room

—qchord: until the dust settles

i am not checking the hiddles tag.

it used to be my favourite tag, second to martin freeman. it was like going to a land of bunnies.

it’s not anymore..it’s just giving me chest pains.

EDIT 3: Whoops, looks like we've got some wanking inside the house. For those wishing to avoid the unfunnybusiness, it's in the thread that mentions Michael Fassbender.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

A nonny mouse friend brought the wank to me and contributed to the write-up; I'm not super familiar with this author but the spooge was still very clear. Patricia Kennealy-Morrison (aka the Lizard Queen, aka “Dame Patricia Anne Elizabeth Genevieve Honora Kennealy Morrison, DTJ,”) author of the semi-defunct Keltia series, recently authored a new novel sans publisher entitled "Ungrateful Dead: Murder at the Fillmore." Said novel has been self-published at Lulu.com and also at Amazon.com, to great acclaim and fewer sales.

Now Dame Ms. Morrison would like to know why her handpicked group of non-Doorzoid non-Pamhead friends hasn’t read and reviewed her fanfic, and she is totally not going to publish any more chapters until she gets AT LEAST FIVE REVIEWS OK.

Why should I spend time and effort on something none of you will bother to support? Everyone claims they'd do ANYTHING for their Creatrix. Anything except buy her new book and post a review, apparently.

Bonus fun: She also doesn’t like being defriended, even if she hasn’t friended you back.

Authors everywhere will be sympathetic to the “why didn’t you R&R?” plaint, but hot damn, that is some wanky stuff right there.

(First-time poster. Apologies if I mess up. I checked the wiki and past posts, but didn’t see this mentioned anywhere; it seemed too beautifully wanky to pass up.)


Sockpuppet wank ahoy, with a tasty side of Future Restraining Order! This was brought up a while ago by my friend squee. *blows kisses*

I have a theory that Jensen Ackles beams high-power hypnosis rays which turn his fans into deranged lunatics. Today’s crazy Ackles fan: fencha/Chriss/gigi/jay/bee/stephanie ware ackles - 1970/trishortiz/benji. (Please note: I cannot verify the age of this person. If somebody knows for sure that she is a minor, let me know ASAP and I’ll take this down.)

Try typing “jensen ackles stephanie ware” into your favorite search engine and a metric ton of hits pop up. That’s because somebody has been a busy, busy little whackjob, and has been going around to various message boards claiming that Jensen Ackles is married to an actress named Stephanie Ware. This person’s identity shifts between a fan, Stephanie Ware herself, Stephanie Ware’s cousin, and Stephanie Ware’s step-daughter

It’s hard to say when and where exactly this started – indications point to Ackles’ IMDB message boards, but I’m not a member over there. If an IMDB member finds anything of interest on the boards, please do let me know. (Also according to IMDB, there IS an actress named Stephanie Ware. She’s got one movie to her name and no personal info; please bear in mind that IMDB is fan-edited.)


( Here are some of the wank's high points... )

I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg. There are literally dozens of other hits that came up when I did a search. 


ETA: via benitle  , apparently she also makes house calls.

ETA2: Update 5/18/08, via rachel_martin  . She's still at it, on the Fanbolt forums. ( It ain't pretty. )
ETA3: Update 7/15/08, via sasha_davidovna :
( On hubpages... )
ETA4: Update 4/30/09, via derryderrydown. New tactic of the Ware-Ackles is to accuse fans of being current Ackles gf Danneel Harris. In this case, missyjack.

Ah, friendsfriends list on LJ is such a beautiful thing. You can find wonders if you just look and read.

I have a dog. He's 48 pounds and sometimes he needs a little forceful handling to calm him down, or sometimes he likes to bounce around and chew on his leash. I think all dog owners know what I'm talking about.

These pictures of Orlando Bloom's girlfriend, Kate Bosworth- wait. Orlando's hetero??!!1! Anyway, this just proves that she hates and abuses animals. Or at least according to the anti-Kate people in this post. Is she? Or isn't she? *cue intense music*

Orlando what have you gotten yourself into?