Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

I snagged this little wank from childfree. Pardon me if I get things wrong, my boyfriend plays WoW and I don't, so I don't know what a bunch of the terms mean.

Anyway, on the forums, Lox posts an angry thread explaining why she's killing greys for those who "give a sh1t".

It turns out that she let her pwecious baybee play on a PVP server for her birthday, foolishly expecting her child to be treated like royalty when for the most part, a PVP server serves as a means to fight other players.

So Lox declares "war" by proclaiming "ALL horde will pay" for bothering her fruit of wonders.

Teva tries to reason with Lox by saying "Do on to others as they are doing to you", to which Lox promptly says "shove it!".

On forum page two, blame is somehow shifted to a guild (or maybe some other players), to which members of the guild start nitpicking at Lox's spelling and AOL speak.

It takes until page four and five for people to mention Lox's parenting skills. Lox just snobs it off and a mini-wank about who knows more history of the Night Elves is made.

Drood makes a good point, though:

To all the people issuing complaints about PvP, the festival, or anything else in this topic:

Cry more.

Edit: Bahleeted! I don't have any screen caps... sorry guys!

Edit 2: The first two forum pages were saved and can be viewed here.

(Yes, I posted there, but I think my contribution is small enough for me to put this here as opposed to in i_wank.)

Over at fanficrants, someone does a nice small common sense rant about how the children of the Gundam boys (assuming they'll have any) won't automatically be OMGspeshul super soldiers. All is well in the world, until aibyouka7 enters the fray with the stunning blanket statement that "Strong women have no need for sprog."

People disagree; and aibyouka7 reacts with a polite, "Get over it, breeder." She also clarifies her previous statement by saying that "Well, if that's the case then I can safely say I was not saying strong women don't HAVE children. Anyone can have a kid. Sometimes otherwise smart people will make that mistake." (This is where I had to bite my tongue typing fingers as to not retort with, "Well, good for you that your parents made a mistake, then.")

Am I still a strong woman if I want to get pregnant just to get back at them? ;)

I thought long and hard about posting this wank as it's my first time. Nevertheless, this one's going to explode pretty soon, if not by the time I've finished writing this.

Poppy Z. Brite is a former horror writer, who's a lot like Anne Rice in that the more you know about her, the less you want to read her books.

And then... Miss Brite finds a community sort of named after her which mixes childfree-ers and yaoi/slash lovers, two of the most explosive materials known to fandom. So she makes a post to it questioning the adoption of a childfree identity. Our lovely mod Kwobtchan tells her she's off-topic while all Miss Brite can do it whine about how this proves she's not one of the "Cool Kids". I recall there being a F_W law about that...

I bet you've never heard of this community before, right? Nor had most people, so this wank would have died, if only Miss Brite hadn't (within minutes of posting and receiving replies, no less!) written about it in her journal. The "Cool Kids" analogy is mentioned yet again.

Have fun! :)