Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

This one's so hot off the press, it burns to the touch. (Edit: Though, well- it got scooped about in clairvoyant_wank, the same minute I'd thrown it up here... still!! *sizzle*... sorta.)

deleterius is known for burying bad suethors and ebul canon-killers... but some people there can wank JUST as much as anyone!!

WAHHH! You don't lyk Eragon and I'm gonna make a rant-post to talk about it in a group of people who rank on bad Harry Potter and LotR fanfic!! Cuz someone here teased it!!!!21`2!1 And I DON-LYK-IT!!!

Judging by the comments, people aren't impressed. Small for now, but you know how it goes. Up to about 30 comments, and it's BEEN up for about 30 minutes.

More fun edit: The original post has been changed to an 'apology'. Anyone screencap the idiocy?

Not so fun edit: Bahleeted. :P

Slight amusement alert edit: Deleterians discover this post, and the OP of the wank defends themselves BY themselves.

lurgy thinks the new layout at deleterius sucks, and requests that it be changed. The mod, tviokh, refuses to do so. Both wank.

( In case it's deleted )

It's Godwin's law going into it! Babywank, as of yet, but there is potential here for some glorious spooge.

Deleterius has a new icon, and the denizens aren't happy.

Being called canon nazis is one thing, but adopting an image to say so? There's a line there, apparently, and it's been crossed.

Knowing Tviokh, the fact that the icon pisses people off is only impetus to keep that bastard up there for as long as humanly possible.

ETA: Someone backs up the talk and walks, and the wank continues there.

Further ETA, as my attention was called to it: Here endeth the wank...?

Deleterius has always been one of my favourite stomping grounds, as well as a sterling breeding ground for wank of the HP and LOTR flavour... but it's always particularly delightful when a sporked Suethor gets it in his or her head to fight back.

This one's doing a wonderful job of making an ass of herself. Filled with righteous indignation and all the bitterness one heart can hold, she's turned in a sporker to LJ abuse for copyright violation. Yes. Of work that is in essence completely a copyright violation in its own right.

The wank has spread (and yes, I've posted once, but not enough to make it to i_wank, although if the Suethor comes back, I'll probably wind up shifting this over there...) after the OP took down the original sporking. The lovely Tviokh reposted the sporking with a note to the Suethor to bring it. Still in its infant stages, as the Suethor's yet to post word one, but I smell ugliness in the making.

She's even threatened Deleterius with her internet lawyers.

As a bit of additional interest in the wank as it unfolds, we have a cryptically threatening message from the Suethor in her original Pit of Voles account profile ("Well well we are playing this game are we. Thats ok ill play." ...in case it winds up bahleeted), and a gorgeously whiny pep-talk from the Suethor to herself in the author's note of her reposted story.

The reviewers are no kinder in her reposted story than they were in the original.

So, indehiscent posts to deleterius asking if anyone has stories to lend her for her creative writing class. The members proceed to eat her alive. 'Nuff said.

Edit - Bahleeted! Did anyone catch a screencap?

Edit the second - psychofangirl managed to save most of the original wank - it can be found here and here.

Also, "It was a joke!" cries indehiscent.

*pops wank cherry*

moonfirefae was recently banned from a Yahoo group called Elves-R-Us for trolling, and in celebration of that banning one of the mods wrote a story in which several ERU members whined to various males in Middle-Earth and then had an orgy.

In retaliation, moonfirefae posts the entire fic onto deleterius, uncut and badly formatted, in all of its NC-17 glory. Cuts and formatting are requested. ERU members weigh in.

ETA: BAHLEETED! Tviokh lays down the Ban Stick.

Son of ETA: Saved. Thanks, anonymouse!

ETA 3.0: Moonfirefae pleads her case in this very thread.

I'm surprised no one has posted this yet. canadianbitch shows up again, posting insults in Swedish apparently.

Edit: Language is actually Sindarin. Even better. *snerk*

And then a post later, we have die_deleterius with one-liner insults on the comm itself as well as in its own journal.

Meanwhile, members ponder why deleterius's trolls suck. Another member wonders whether D_D and C_B are the same person.

Yes, deleterius wank again!

A new user appears. User is obviously a troll. User posts a story about how Deleterius members destroy young authors' hopes and dreams in the community.

There's all the usual lessons from Troll school: Deleterius members are obviously ugly, can't get laid, and geeks who know what Tolkien would have wanted written in fanfiction- the same accusations the troll makes in her LJ bio.

You'd think they'd at least come up with original accusations.

cactus_wren posts a lovely Mary Sue with the characters Nezzie, Koki, Kibbles (yes, you read that correctly) and Ariel.
One of them is Elvin [sic] King Elrond's neice. Yay.
Overall it's a poorly spelled, nearly impossible to read story.

Someone slips the author a link to the thread.

Author pulls standard defenses:
1) "I have a disability so I can't be arsed to use spellcheck!"
2) "I like my story and you're all bitches!"
3) "Read the Bible and get some love in your hearts...if you have them!" (that was followed quickly by a "fuck all y'all" type post).

The author's Pit of Voles page changed rather quickly as well.

We also find out that since we don't like her fic, we must be Iraqis.

Deleterius, the Harry Potter/LotR Mary Sue Report community gets its very own troll - fu_deleterius.

Everyone is amused and pinches the cute troll's cheek.

Enter insanity khroan .

( The following text might be hazardous to your mental health. Proceed at your own risk. )

Okay, remember the poetiwank of Sweet Baby Ninetails? We seem to have returned to that position in the great circle of wank. A few days ago, a Mary-Sue named Sabriel was reported on Deleterius. Upon discovering this, the author had a cow, complete with, yes, a wanky poem:

( Read more... )

She whines, she threatens, she yells: hell hat no fury like Mary Sue Author scorned!

Bitch, please.

Apparently people don't like it when their RPG's are reported at the HP and LotR Mary Sues LJ community.

Yes, it's only really a little wank so far, but it's reasonably amusing all the same.

On deleterius, a rather hideous fic is reported. Just the usual fun, including lines like:

"She sat. Her eyes were glowing red. And Saruman said:

«Tell me about your atoms!»"

and a graphic novel version of 'The Sick Story' (yes, that's the name of the fic).

(by the by, I'd like to warn anyone who's afraid of rather Sauraman+Sue!sex to stay away - likewise anyone who is traumatised by the idea of Sauraman in an "Orthanc-patterned pyjama shirt" should avoid that original link.)


However, "Sauruman's Bitch", morima makes an appearance, declares that she wrote the Lady Sick story, says that the deleterius members were 'trolling' her, and proclaims that "Without the sex scene however, the story is decent in itself compared to any other Legolas Mary Sue we find out there." And she was, of course, commenting in the original report as well.

Yes, everyone's pretty well behaved so far, but what with the long q&a's and the fic author lurking in the original thread, I found it smacked of enough wank to be worth a giggle. Enjoy.

Remember this wank? Well...she's back with Chapter 2 of the cheerleader!Hermione MS.

Deleterius, the HP and LOTR Mary Sue report comm at LJ, is a breeding ground for wank. This one might be small compared to tohers, but still...

What started with an innocent MS report, derivated to a catfight that might be going for quite a while...

*sigh* At times like this I'm glad HP's not my fandom.

Developing classic "author's-friends-and-sockpuppets-wank" on Deleterius!

You have no character. And karma will get you for being meeeeean!

Includes the "Are You a Flamer?" test! Feel the sarcasm.

And there's some queries about TOS violations, too.

Edited to add: Aaand, the author herself turns up.