So I've been a little out of the loop in regards to Avatar: The Legend of Korra, aside of... some not very funny incidents on Tumblr. But this one that went on on LJ? Fucking hilarious.

Thanks to Wank Report for it!

( Hilarity and catfights ensue under the cut! Beware of capslocks, spoilers, and really stupid ship wars )

Recently, the creators of Avatar: the Last Airbender announced a new series that's coming in 2011, titled Avatar: Legend of Korra. Normally this would be cause for joy and celebration, considering how many people enjoyed Avatar's first run, but wait! Ships from the first series are confirmed to have lasted? And they're not the ones I like?

Note: there are mild SPOILERS for Avatar: Legend of Korra here.

( 23,256th verse, same as the first )

I expect this will be ongoing as more details about the new series emerge.

(I would just like to add that I am SO EXCITED that there will be more Avatar universe stuff, personally. I could not care less about shipping right now, when we are getting a female Avatar.)

ETA: There is now a great comic about the shipwars. (And the original threads are frozen.)

snatched from wank_report

"Someone" posts a secret (#114 now bahleeted--caps?) on fandomsecrets and the image is stored on her easily identifiable photobucket account. She claims to be lonely and not have any friends and she wishes the Avatar characters were her RL friends. But she means local friends, not imaginary intarweb bitches her LJ friends.

Responses are mostly of the "Oh, snap!" variety except for the "What am I? Chopped liver?" one. It's really a very mild response though yukinoomoni is outed by name.

( She doesn't overreact at all: )

eta: F_W is not your therapist. If you can't lol at a wank maybe you need to go for a walk. I thought this was funny. lol sociopath.

Pulled from a mouse over at wank_report

So, some Zutarians in the Avatar fandom are putting together an animated redo of the Avatar finale that is more friendly to their ship. And a lot of people are just like “Whatever, they can do what they want”

Well then Dante Basco became involved by apparently agreeing to lend his voice to the project. (The project apparently is being mainly organized over at Deviantart)

And the Zutarians are happy and gleeful and excited, and everything is great and wonderful.

BUT WAIT!

The announcement gets posted over at Avatarspirit.net, and then the opposing shippers, Kataangers or whatever, go crazy. (The note, apparently ASN is going through maintenance, so the link may be on and off, i am going to try and screen cap if need be, but as of now the links are working.)

( Quotes and details under the cut )

As an added bonus, here is Dante Basco reading some lines from Zutarians, apparently he reads or says something about Mai being fat, and I am sure this is starting some wank up somewhere but I am a bit too lazy to really try and find it.

akapiratequeen makes a post to avatar_fans regarding her dislike of Zuko/Mai.

Mai. I just don't understand her appeal to Zuko. They are shown dating, even kissing, back when she is a bored, spoiled bee-otch with no redeeming characteristics whatsoever (she's not even drawn cute!). Sure, she has one great moment at the prison, but up until then she's killed and maimed loads of people and -- unlike Ty Lee -- never even seems to question it or show remorse. She says she was scared of Azula, but (also unlike Ty Lee) that fear is never shown -- she's just happy to see her when she shows up at the beginning because "nothing's happening around here." So someone please explain to me -- how does she end up with Zuko?

Answers start off fairly mildly, some saying they don't like Mai, others saying cute is subjective or 'you may not like her but Zuko does'.

Enter misora, a fairly well know Zutura shipper, with a couple of comm recs where the OP may find some like minded fans.-

I see this here and I share your pain. Commmme to our ship!! It's dark and intriguing! We have cookies.

katara_zuko
capslock_zutara


aerodactylus does not appreciate the suggestion-

oh, please don't do that...shipping enticement is not nice.


From that point on, the thread crashes and burns, with accusations of pressuring fans into shipping, people not sharing cookies and denial that the cookies are desired!

( Read more... )

All in all, a nice little wank.

ETR mentions of someone who may or may not be underage D:

From past Avatar, The Last Airbender wanks I'm sure people are familiar with Zutara the ship term for the characters Zuko, angsty teen villain turned hero of the show, and Katara, main female heroine of the series. It has had a very vocal fan following even when the creators began dropping anvil sized hints that the ship was not going to happen. But like stalwart tinhats before them they never gave up that Zutara was the one true pairing even if the creators did not know it.

KyokoMari over on her deviant art account made a lengthy post about how she doesn't hate the creators for not seeing the ship they so obviously created in the show and then swiftly turns around in the same post to rage against them. The boxset for the third and final season just came out and the commentary by the shows creators, Bryan and Mike, who have their own name squish of Bryke, laughed at bit at the Zutara shippers, which is what has set this Zutara shipper off.

( Some quotes from the rant. )

And the wank continues in the comments with people jumping on the bandwagon of bashing Bryan and Mike for being the meanies they are and a few death threats towards them thrown in for good measure.

As some of you know, Avatar: the Last Airbender had its series finale yesterday. Many mind-blowing things occured in the finale, but since this is fandom, all the wankers care about is one thing: whose ships got sunk?

( Spoilery Ship Wank under the cut )

OH my fandom. You never stop wanking, do you?

Edit: Bonus wank from livejournal! (Thank you ueuecoyotl!) Character-bashing, creator-bashing, and plans for a rewrite. My Harmony flashbacks grow stronger and more vivid by the minute.

Edit 2: Limey404 brilliantly calls Avid on her bullshit. Wow that's some grade-A hypocrisy right there folks.

Edit 3: The batshit continues as Avid posts a follow-up. Just... read it. It's special.

Edit 4: Avid's BFF, Isaluvszutara, brings the drama in her own journal. Sheesh, don't these people have lives ouside of their ships? D:

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Everyone knows that Nick's Avatar: The Last Airbender schedule is completely whack. We're getting episodes on DVD long before they air on TV. As in, these episodes are probably not going to air until July. Fans are understandably a bit miffed.

Post One:
redwiltingroses posts to avatar_fans to excitedly tell the members she has the newest dvd, which has unaired episodes. She works at Blockbuster and they got it in their "pre-streets," copies of dvds available for employees to rent before they come out. People are excited. No wank. No one even questions its validity.

Post Two:
She posts again and provides a rough outline of the episodes. People are nice at first. The entire first page is legitimate comments and discussion. Although, lots of people are still demanding an upload to the point of linking to software to download and explaining how to do it. If only...

kyatto is the first to question the summary's validity (albeit not in a wanky manner). willowchan says it's a "personal social obligation" to provide more evidence. We are informed that the spoilers reek of bad fanfiction. rachelthedemon makes her first appearance in that thread by calling the OP an obvious attention whore. spleefmistress also pops up to call the OP a "tartlet" (...okay) among other tings.

rachelthedemon pops in and profoundly CALLS B.S.spleefmistress continues...

Post Three:
redwiltingroses relents and provides a picture of the DVD a well as a few cameraphone clips.

Avatar fans demand video. If she's going to provide a summary and twenty second snippets taken with her camera phone, she has to rip the whole thing or she's just taunting us. This sentiment occurs several times in both posts, but this was the wankiest thread. spleef_mistress admittedly uses copypasta, nonsensical ice cream comparisons and throughout the thread, still doesn't get it.

rachelthedemon still doesn't believe her, because apparently the snippets don't match up with things shown at NYCC. But oh well, she can't stand 80% of the community anyways.

Most people are very sane throughout the posts. That much is good.

edit: Spoilers obviously.

edit: Posts shut down. Unfortunately I have no caps as I was at work. :(

This is my first wank. Hope I'm doing this right.

It is the general consensus in the Avatar fandom that Katara has been a bitch to Zuko. Everybody knows it and nobody cares. Except for a few people over at atla_rants on LJ. Somebody made a post about it. Wank didn't start flying until sugeatarc jumped in.

( read more )

After which, another user (who happens to be the comm creator) jumps in with a story about morals and consequences. Remember KIDS: Consequences don't matter if you say you're sorry and hand out cookies.

Troll is tossed around a couple of times with some hilarious macros. And all that's left is some metaphors about setting people's houses on fire and Zuko needing forever long chats about his feelings.

pikabot got banned from the comm after he compared the comm mod to Rodimus Prime via this image macro.

And then this was added to the profile page:

FIRST RULE: this is atla_rants, NOT capslock_atla. the douchebaggery tolerance level is substantially lower here. if you can't discuss a topic without breaking out macros and personal insults, don't bother posting at all.

And this all proves that fandom is srs fuckin businessbatshit insane.

Alternate Title: Shipping: Fucking. Serious. Business.

In katara_zuko, Avatar: the Last Airbender fans congregate to discuss their shippy Zutarian love. It's normally pretty wank-free, but with Season Three rapidly approaching after an unannounced hiatus of almost a year, many of the wankier fans are coming out of the woodwork.

It starts relatively simply. hyper_roo decides to post about the possibility of Zutara becoming canon. Their post probably has some decent points, if anyone would bother to read them. Unfortunately, she/he does not realize that she is not the first to do this kind of post and that they are, in fact, the second person to make a post about Zutara's canonicity (or lack thereof) in the last 36 hours, and that posts of this nature have been at least weekly for the last month or so.

rachelthedemon, among others, is sick of these posts. Not only that, but her reply ("TO HELL WITH CANON") is the reply that has been frequently used on this posts because these posts are the same over and over and over again:

"If you've ever wondered why the rest of the fandom likes to mock the hell out of us? THIS IS WHY. Because collectively, we are obnoxiously immature and don't know when to accept things the way they are and shut up. Unfortunately, that gives those of us who are sane about shipping a bad name.

Really. I'm almost ashamed to even LIKE Zutara thanks to some of what's been posted here in reaction to the Season 3 trailer, because I don't want to be lumped in with the crazy.

The horse is dead. The carcass is maggot-infested and sagging and rotting and there is absolutely nothing you can do to make it get back up again.

The community pretty much divides from there. Some people agree with rachelthedemon. Others support the OP and agree that Zutara will be canon. Additionally, rachelthedemon is accused of killing hope and overreacting. (Also, we have someone who thinks Dante Basco's voice is sexy.)

Apparently all this controversy is too much. hyper_roo feels personally attacked and leaves the ship in a new post (mood: betrayed). People are upset and blame their fellow shippers. Other people don't know what's going on, but think everyone's overreacting. The word flounce is used. xxawayfrommexx posts to the community in support of hyper_roo to general support:

"It's been, perhaps, a month since I last checked this community, so when I came here I was like: YAY! My Zutara sanctuary!

Then I see that more than 5 or 6 people have left.

T.T

It really makes me sad.

I read HyperRoo's little post, and all ,and I saw most of the Zutara posters were kinda like Kataang posters. Now please, I'm not bashing Kataang posters; my brother is one. But really people, we used to pride ourselves is saying "I'm not like immature Kataang person, who bashes other, I'M ZUTARIST AND AM MATURE!! >P "

Then why did you go off at HyperRoo? Yes, I see that many people are like, "ZUTARA WILL BE CANNON!!oneone!" but, really, I thought that most of the comments were a tad rude. So... what are you going to do about it?"

But rachelthedemon is still unhappy and lets xxawayfrommexx know exactly how many posts on this topic have been made since July 28 (eight separate posts, not including hyper_roo's, averaging out to about two a week). anais_ninja thinks she's missing the point.

Finally, the mods step in to wrap everything up and tell everyone to play nice.

This wank has a couple of days behind it, but since I know that everyone here enjoys a good 'ol batshit paring war with delusional shippers, I thought it'd be okay.

Anyway, the resident Harmonians of the Avatar: The Last Airbender fandom called the Zutara (Zuko/Katara) shippers (or Zutarians) start wanking on Wiki for not allowing any Zutara material to be posted or discussed on their website.

It all starts with Prototime stating that he's tired of the mother fuckin' Zutara fans on his mother fuckin' Wiki. But things heat up when he says the following- "Zutara" is a purely speculative relationship that has no valid basis, despite attempts of some fans to throw together circumstantial evidence and interpreting it in a way to support their fantasies.

Like little shipper bees to honey, the Zutarians show up and 3, 2, 1... wank.

A mouse states that if Zutara is "band", all other parings for Avatar should be "banded" as well. H2P steps in and gets all JKR on the fandom by calling all hints of Zutara to be delusional. This makes the mouse think that clearly H2P has never shipped an Avatar ship before and that the thoughts of Zutara happening was on par with the Theory of Relativity. (Oh shippers, you're just trying too hard!)

The mouse later gives herself the name of "DJ Zutara and Taang FOREVER" and proceeds to hound H2P about oppressing the gold that is Zutara. A couple of other people respond to DJ telling her that Wiki is not the place, but she only comes back for more to ask H2P to answer her questions.

A second mouse kindly tells DJ to pack up her bad grammar and leave, but this only results in more fansqueeing, complete with "OH NO U DI'NT OPRESS ME!".

A second Zutara shipper steps in sometime later. Arowen Half-Elven boldly proclaims "And, hate to break it to ya, I'm an American, this is a FREE country, we have freedom of speech and press, and you CANNOT keep us from posting Zutara or other parings on this talk page". Someone should remind her that the internet isn't only America, thus American rights only can go so far.

And it's a downward spiral of wank from there. DJ just keeps coming back for more, while others attempt to stamp Wiki = FACT, Zutara = FICTION (as of right now) into her brain.

It all ends with this lovely gem-
Geez, using Wiki to push your shipper delusions is beyond sad. You should all be embarrassed.

I know I'm embarrassed for my fandom.

Edit: The Zutara fandom explodes. Would you like some cheese with your whine? (WARNING- there are spoilers to the second season finale in that post!)

As everyone knows, the comments at YouTube are generally shining oases of reason, civility, and spelling that vaguely resembles that of the English language.

( And if you believe that, there's a lovely bridge I'd like to sell you. )

What do fanfics like How To Piss Blank Off, Oh Sister, and Kane the Avatar Helper have in common aside from Mary Sues?

They all have glaring reviews from a Pit user by the name of Zuko's Flamethrower.

( The long, letter format review Zuko's Flamethrower posts. )

Rinse, wash, and repeat on every Sue fanfic Zuko's Flamethrower comes across.

The wank starts on Zuko's Flamethrower's Mary Sue Parody fanfic The Greatest Avatar Story EVER, where a combination of wank, crying Sue Authors, fangirling, and Suethors attempting to be snarky with their own version of Zuko's Flamethrower's "review" brews.

Cue users like COME JOIN Zuko's Flamethrower HATE CLUB and AvatarBasket flipping their shit in their profiles. Sapphire Warg does the same thing, only she links Zuko's Flamethrower to a Green Day song that supposed to be a message to her.

It's not all wank, seeing that Zuko's Flamethrower got a tribute fanfic, which has very mild "But Zuko's Flamethrower is MEAN!" wank.

(Hey, fanficrants! I was beginning to worry about you, there. You haven't made it past clairvoyantwank in almost a week! It's good to see you're still going strong.)

Zuko's eye color.

Over on fanficrants, shes_unreal has very firm opinions on this matter of earth-shattering importance. Gold? Yes. Amber? ... acceptable. Yellow? NO WAY IN HELL! ARE YOU BLIND? DIDN'T YOU PLAY WITH CRAYONS AS A KID?

Hop on over and learn something about gemology.

Even the Avatar: The Last Airbender fandom isn't free of wank, as demonstrated when fairsmithchild shows the community of avatar_fans when she rants on how the only female main character, Katara, is a useless blob of cliche.

I'll copy the entry in question here, because the community owner believes that the internet is made out of sunshine and rainbows and people shouldn't fight in her community.

( Blah blah blah, bashing bashing bashing. )

I'm surprised this didn't turn into a shippingwank, considering the first part of the post.

It seems that everyone politely disagrees with fairsmithchild, until amurderofcrows lays the smackdown on Fairsmith, who apparently does this bashing thing a lot.

chirachira suggests that Fairsmith put this bashing/rant in her journal, to which Fairsmith says "So do you mean I'm not allowed to discuss anything controversial on this forum? What is the forum for but for discussion?". A few commenters decide to set Fairsmith straight on what is a "discussion" and what is "bashing".

Fairsmith then whines about opinions, where she gets served by amurderofcrows, who calls "Troll". Fairsmith does the classic "I thought we were friends!", which doesn't seem to work on Crows.

akavertigo steps in with the Troll calling in the form of a photoshopped image. This spurs the usual "Haha, you winz!" vs "SO immature!" miniwank.

There's a little bit of everything if you look at the rest of the wank, but Fairsmith stopped responding to them all (lack of witty comments?).

D'awww, the Avatar fandom is growing up!

Edit: It appears that Fairsmith has been deleting her own comments and her friends are coming to her aid (in the comfort of screened commenting, of course). There might be more to this wank than what we see!

Wankage is bound to happen when the journal in question is avatarsues, a Sue of the Day journal for Avatar: The Last Airbender.

avatarsues posts a script format Sue and the author, Ember90, shows up. She comments to EVERYONE who has made a comment on the journal entry, but it's always the same:

*Takes deep breathes* I happen to have heard of your "site" and I (Who is not a school grade fan girl and who happens to have seen all the episodes 3xs, has a website for momo and apparently is disliked because of some story I wrote just for the heck of it!) am very displeased. Yes, its me Amber-Ember90 I wanted to write something awful or mean to you, but I know words won't solve anything action will! And I will say that your site is kind of cool, I even liked it, except when I read this, you made me feel awful! So good-bye Avatar! Good-bye my story! I hate AVATAR, now I hate it! Congrats you lost an Avatar fan... tootles!
~Ember90/Amber~ Now an non-avatar lover...

Some of the commenters respond in confusion and others just ignore her, until her sockpuppet friend shows up with this lovely message:

yes, hello, this is the infamous Kelsey, aka the alleged Sokka rapist. I have a comment for all of you people. FUCK. OFF. i happen to absolutely love Avatar, just sadly havent seen every single one of the episodes because i dont have cable. i also am a Sokka fangirl because i like his funny lines. Amber is my BEST friend, along with Colleen. i am warning you, you better back off and back off real quick. if you get joy out of making people miserable, then i suggest that you get off of the crack real fast. so go jump in the river.

It only gets better when Ember90 retreats back to The Pit and posts her Swan Song. Edit: The Swan Song has been deleted.