nicked from the very long comment at wank_report, with thanks to the mouse.

Bandom darlings My Chemical Romance broke up according to their website. Their drummer Bob Bryar has left the band. People leave bands all the time, but that never stops people from pouring dirt on their heads, or beating their breasts, or making long bitchy comments on livejournal.

There is a post in chemicalromance. It's mostly variations of SADFACE and OMG HOW WILL I STUDY FOR MIDTERMS NOW? Peppered by the occasional WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLES? THEY OWE YOU NOTHING. Rinse. Blather. Repeat.

Until inkandchaos goes a little dipsydoodle:

( CUT FOR STRONG LANGUASE AND YOUR RETINAS )

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

So! There is a bandom specific anonymous mocking comm over here on JF that is called bandflesh. It's all flashing text and caplock lulz and stupid anon shenanigans... until certain people decide that it's all too much for them. To the point of: Quite a few of the defriendings were people I have met IRL, care about a lot, a couple of them I even consider good friends.

Mmhmmm.

I wasn't sure if this was quite wanky enough for F_W itself, even though I got some lulz out of it.

[ETA]: Oh dear: South Part and Fandom Wank paved the way to a world where being a giant fuckwit is admirable and hilarious. And it makes me feel so vulnerable and unhappy and lonely, because how can I trust anyone?

:(.

[ETA2]: And:

[info]shoemaster wrote: It certainly creates the opportunity for dialogs such as this, now doesn't it?

[info]claireweasley wrote: Sure, if it makes you feel better about being a shitty human being.

Keep in mind that this is all about 13 boyband members' hair.  That makes it all slip into perspective.

Korean It boyband of the moment, Super Junior, has been keeping the style concept for their upcoming second album tightly under wraps for the past month or so.  </p>

There's been much hype surrounding their hairstyles and much speculation and dismay over news that heads have been shaved, hair has been bleached, and someone has gone tri-color.  The Super Junior boys themselves have been adding to the excitement by going around wearing beanies everywhere for the past two weeks. 

No one knows what anyone looks like...until four days before the album launch, when leaked pictures of several of the Super Junior band members are uploaded onto the gallery section of member Hankyung's Cyworld (the Korean version of an LJ).  A fan had apparently snuck into a photoshoot (according to a translated Cyworld entry from another Super Junior member, Heechul) and taken pictures of the boys under the guise of being one of their stylists.  

A member of the super_junior community at livejournal posts a squee filled all caps post about the new look, linking to the pictures on Hankyung's Cyworld.  The post is immediately deleted by super_junior mod ryeowookitis.  She then proceeds to post a plea for comm members to respect the boys and to stop posting the leaked pictures before their official second album release.  She finishes this post by asking that people not start up wank, and then decides to link to  detractor chokingday's journal to give people an example of what kind of wank-filled posts should be avoided.

chokingday calls ryeowookitis on how she's starting up her own wank by taking the drama out of the super_junior comm and bringing it to her (chokingday's) personal journal.

bukkakeinureye suggest spamming the f**k out of ryeowookitis with the leaked pictures.

And the call to arms LEAK LEAK LEAK LIKE A PAD is born.

(Or Jesus Christ, it's a herd of teal deers, get in the car!)

phaballa compares the guys from bandom bands (My Chemical Romance, etc.) playing gay onstage to performers wearing blackface.

If, for example, these boys went on stage and played at being black--imagine the outrage then. To me, it's the same thing. It's like performing in black face.

...I think they're basically ignorant little boys who get off on being tabboo on stage, where they can say it's just a performance, and then talk about how much they love their girlfriends off stage.

And I know somewhere in there, someone compared all of this to Rwandan genocide. (Is that like a newer version of Godwin's?)

Bandom strikes back! ficbyzee responds as does kalpurna.

wistful_fever wants to know why we can't all get along.

Bonus wank as lovinspike247 claims that being gay is about more than just sex.

I expect the herd of teal deer wank to only get bigger as more and more people share their thoughts on teh stage gay.

Edit: Thanks to ironymaiden for this link, that has a whole bunch of responses to phaballa's post.

And thanks to the various mice on wank_report for some of the links, too.

puipui has set aside this thread for SERIOUS BUSINESS. So be sure to share all your thoughts on yaoi stage gay there. (Fixed. Thanks rosehiptea.)

I've come bringing a tasty little ABBA wank.

As was established in previous wanks, ABBA fans tend to be a little...touchy? Which is why I lurk for the pictures and tend to avoid discussions. That is, until tonight when curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on a topic entitled Frida jealous at Agnetha?. (The splooge is oozing in a few different directions of wtf/teal dear at once)

I cannot link to individual comments. Woe.

Who's Who in ABBA:

Agnetha = the blonde with the (apparently) famous ass
Frida = the other one

There were also some guys in the group, or something.

New member, Marielon posts innocently asking if Frida was ever jealous of Agnetha.

A seemingly innocent question, especially in light of Frida's infamous 'nudge'.

A few posters make comments about how we can never really know how 'the girls' felt about each other and it seems fairly calm (and personally I was quite impressed, Agnetha vs. Frida debates seem to end up as messy dogpiles).

No problem, right? Well...these are ABBA fans...

( 'when you are so exceptionnally beautiful and talented as Frida,you can not be jealous of Agnetha or any one else i think! ' )

Sorry for the tl;dr, wish I could post links to the actual comments for your viewing pleasure.

ETA: Now with pictures! So everyone can pick their favorite! (Yes, Alex, I'll take Bennybjörn for 500...)

ETA2: I just thought to check the profile of the OP, and they're under age, so I'm going to edit out my quotes of their posts. Everyone else middle aged and much wankier than the OP was anyway. (Mods let me know if you want me to delete the entire post, and I will do so in the morning, but I'm falling asleep at the computer at the moment.)

ETA2: For the sake of comparison Frida's ass

Source.

My Chemical Romance's fandom generates a lot of splooge, but most of it'sWaycest behind closed doors. Lead singer and man of ambiguous sexuality, Gerard Way got engaged recently, and almost as quickly got un-engaged, purportedly to hairdresser Eliza Cuts. Most of the speculation came from E Cuts herself, so take that for what it's worth. She liked to pose with a ring and say she was "taken for life" among other things. There's a certain creepy sect amongst MCRdom that delight in reading all Eliza's aways and dropped hints about Gerard's love life. And then there's an equally rabid sect that loathe the fact that she does it. Or did it, since Gerard's single.

So she's in a crew (who knew hairdressers needed a crew?), and they call themselves - wait for it - The World's Most Hated Crew. One of the other members is married to Mikey Way. Yes, they shit stir. Mikey Way might not even be in MCR anymore, but that's a whole nother batch o'wank. The Crew recently made this post:

"Take this as a warning and an announcement.

One of the rules here is no talking about private lives, especially the private lives of the 'WMHC', anyone in anyway related to the 'WMHC', and people involved with or around the 'WMHC. I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY POSTS ABOUT ANY OF THE RECENT 'GOSSIP' 'REVELATIONS' OR 'DRAMA' SURROUNDING ELIZA AND/OR GERARD, IN THIS SECTION OF OF THE MESSAGE BOARD OR ANYWHERE ELSE. I HAVE ALREADY HAD TO DELETE ONE AND I DO NOT WANT A REPETITION. THE POSTS WILL BE IMMEDIATELY REMOVED, AND ANYONE WHO CONTINUES TO TALK ABOUT IT ON THIS BOARD AFTER BEING WARNED, WILL BE PUT FORWARD FOR A PERSONAL RECOMMENDATION TO BE BANNED.

THIS INCLUDES POSTS ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU HATE THE SITUATION.

This OBVIOUSLY counts with all members of the crew whenever anything happens, but Eliza is currently the one with her life in the dock, and it's not just her that it effects.

ALSO. If I see any of you talking about this outside of this board, on Livejournal or Myspace, and it seems that you are prying, hating or leeching onto any of the personal business of ANY of us, you will be removed from this message board.

If you MUST reply to this post, then do so only to show me that you have read and understood my words, I do not want any form of discussion about it.

Thank you."

Miss E.

~~*~~
Capslock of Doom much, honey? Frankly, the best part of that post is the notion that they'd have anything to talk about other than their personal lives. The only thing that's missing from this wankfest is an internet lawyer.

Band accuses Avril Lavigne of plagiarizing their song. Avril posts to her website.

"I had never heard this song in my life and their claim is based on 5 words! All songs share similar lyrics and emotions. As humans we speak one language."

And of course, the fans wank (and cannot spell). Behold such gems of wank as poetry flames.

"You are the mindless, Faceless soul of the Conglomerat that is consummerism
you butcher the english language
you are a insult to the very Base of whitch this World is Standing apon
(She's already going Thru so much"
what is that?
Let's feel sorry for her she's got tits
sickening
the fact that your 15 and still "like" her is even More Discusting
at this age(alas i follow you in age i'm only 15)
your mind should be on important things
say.. life?
pull your head outta your ass
and your ass outta the gutter
and be Human
is that So much?"

Or have your classic wankbiat comments:

"Avril is not stupid!! Although she did not finish high school i guaranee she knows how to wrote freakin' poetry, because songs are just ballads......unless you didn't know that. And she is smart enough to write a song. So just leave it okay!! I bet many other fans would say the same!"

"ahahahahah, you just pretend to hate Avril, but look at you, you seem to hate her but youre so bored that you came the HER PAGE AND EVEN CREATE AN ACCOUNT
ahahah, pathetic. dont you get it ? jerks like you will never bring her down! youre doing EXACLY the opposite thing you should do, INSULTING HER.
if you hated her, you woulndt be here insulting her on her own page. you just should ignore her
so screw up ! :)"

To cleanse your brain, enjoy this awesome Girlfriend/I Wanna Be Sedated mash-up.

EDIT: Wanky news post has been deleted from Avril's site. Anyone have screencaps?

A little bit of back story, The Frenz Of The Enz forums have always been known within Finn Brothers/Crowded House/Neil Finn/Tim Finn/Split Enz fandom for being wanky, to the point that many fans myself included rarely post there. Crowded House are an antipodean (assigning them a nationality only leads to more wank) pop band that initially existed from 1985-1996. Long story short, the band were immensely popular in the antipodes and were at various stages immensely popular in the rest of the world, the band broke up, Neil Finn went on to a solo career and Paul Hester, their former drummer committed suicide in 2005.

In January of this year Neil Finn announces that he is reforming the band with a new drummer, they will be releasing a new album and going on a world tour through the latter half of 2007. This, at the time led to surprisingly little wank.

Flash forward to mid-June 2007 and the album, which is due for release in late June-Mid July depending on your region is leaked on the internet.

The first member of Frenz, mac to get their hand on it posts this gem.

Well,I hate saying this but.......Ive been listening to TOE for three days now and honestly dont like any of it.It bothers me because Ive NEVER felt that way about ANY of crowded house's work.

Eight pages and counting of wank ensues.

( Some highlights in the unlikely event of bahleetion. )

Inspired by the last post, I decided the time has come to report this rather amusing wank, even though it’s already done and over with. This is seriously the quintessential band wank; not only that, but it just is a classic case of wank on all sides. I took much glee in reading it. So…

Once upon a time there was a band known as The Receiving End of Sirens. But all was not well in TREOS Land, for then one of the main vocalists/songwriters split from the group, which caused some wank itself, and Casey moved on to focusing full time on a little pet project called The Dear Hunter. Flee the Factory, which is a fansite for TREOS, has also become home to fans of The Dear Hunter, seeing as more often than not people are fans of both. And lo, The Dear Hunter has had its first wank.

( Do I know you? )

So, some kid threw a piece of paper at the rapper Akon at a concert. Akon has him picked out of the crowd, hoists him up on stage and suddenly tosses him back at the unsuspecting concert-goers. Wanky (and stupid) in and of itself, but we have videos. You can see the toss in this video. There's another here. The angle sucks, but you get a clearer picture of the situation. There's wank all over the comments of the videos arguing whether or not the kid deserved it and if Akon's an asshole or not.

Media Takeout, the site that supposedly broke the story is full of tabloid journalism goodness with the tagline EXCLUSIVE!! POLICE MAY CHARGE AKON WITH ATTEMPTED MURDER!!. There's lot of fun capslocks of rage going on in there. Other sites are a little less sensationalist with titles like Rapper Akon Investigated by Police, Angry Akon Throws Young Fan Offstage, and Akon is a real piece of work, throws kid off stage.

People's got it covered. Just about everything Digg digs up on Akon is about this stage dive.

So far, the Poughkeepsie Journal has the most detailed coverage of the incident. They're still looking for the kid. Plenty more "he deserved it" vs "he didn't deserve it" and "Akon's an asshole" opinions going back and forth in the comments.

Perez Hilton's got it. There's plenty of idiocy there, including arguments on whether or not this is a hoax since "mainstream media" hasn't picked it up.

The Akon support side of the wank seems pretty much summed up with this mindnumbingly stupid comment from some "Head Bitch" blog. "And can you blame him [Akon]??? That little shit tried to throw something at him, and basically Akon showed everyone what a BITCH the kid really was by hurling him through the air into the crowd. I absolutely love it, and just wish I was strong enough to do that to people. It’s so awesome to actually see someone be thrown, flail around in the air and land on the hard ground, especially when they are a deserving douchebag."

Music just brings out the best in people wouldn't ya say?

Update: The kid has been identified and the lady he landed on is coming forward saying she was injured by the flying teen, here. She was diagnosed with a concussion and demands an apology. Despite this, Akon is denying wrong-doing. Here's the statement from his lawyers:
"Given the information that we have reviewed to date, it does not appear to us that Akon was involved in any criminal conduct whatsoever. We are prepared to fully cooperate with any law enforcement agency that may be investigating this incident. We are confident that after a thorough investigation it will be apparent that no criminal prosecution of Akon is warranted."

It may not be as scandalous as the ACen hullabaloo but hopefully it'll still be wanky enough to provide a few laughs. Sorry if it's long, kinda hard to explain sometimes...

The Beastie Boys are set to release a new album this summer, The Mix Up, their seventh studio album. It's been three years since their last as they take a notoriously long time between albums (the longest being six years) so naturally, the fans are excited.

Word got out recently that the album is, in fact, going to be completely instrumental, no hip hop tracks, no rapping, no screaming or serenading, no lyrics or vocals to be seen or heard of at all. Most (sane) fans don't have much of a problem with this, since the Beastie Boys have proven themselves proficient in the area of instrumental tracks before, but, well...

Over at the Official Beastie Boys Message Board the fans seem to have divided into two factions: those who are fine with an all-instrumental album, and those who are gritting their teeth over it. There are also those who, despite multiple press releases and information sources providing the contrary, insist there must, must be lyrics on the album and that it's all an elaborate joke by the Boys.

At first, people take the news well, many are even excited at the prospect of a full instrumental album that's promised to be unlike their previous instrumental tracks.

Some are not so pleased, however, especially user BeastieAlbum07, who cannot accept the fact that there will be no lyrics. In several threads in the forum (honestly too many to pick from) they've gone around hoping for lyrics or vocals in some way to outright saying there will be vocals, damnit, even if the Boys have to scramble to add them at the last minute due to a fandom outcry!

It's easy to find (there are so many threads, Christ) and there's outright denial, minor kerfuffles, accusations of not being one of the "true fans," accusations of sockpuppetry, BNF-hating, "Don't they know they're going to lose SO MANY FANS", accusing informants of being fake, OMG SPOILER, deliberating over whether the album cover that's been shown is real or not (it is), etc. You name it. And the speculating... oh god, the speculating.

( ''Enough is enough!'' )

( ''the next new album will have vocals'' )

( ''you are all in denial'' )

( ''Immense Dissapointment... Probable Instrumental Album'' )

( ''new album has lyrics'' )

( ''i still say the new album has lyrics!!'' )

( OMG SPOILER!! )

( The only sane comment in the whole thing )

It's still going as we speak and will probably keep going 'til the album drops in July. I look forward to the fallout after its release... send out a search party if I don't come back a week after July 10th.

If this is too long lemme know and I'll cut it down a little. So much crazy...

Edit: This exchange was too classic for me to pass up (Sub-edit: now with extra Godwin's!):

mate_spawn_die: i'm a huge beastie fan but.....

i just wanted to say that. TT5B had the most terrible rhymes and flow of any beastie boy album. the lyrics just plain sucked. so i'm very excited about new album. there ya go.

...in fact, almost everything sucked about TT5B it seemed rushed and was very bland. biggest disappointment ever. im glad i got that off my chest. sorry beasties but its my opinion. i still love you.

Pootytang: It took 2 years to come up with that? That is the shittiest first post I think I've ever read on this message board.

edit: My bad... 3 years

The Padster: What is shitty about it? The fact that his opinions don't correlate with yours?

Nice fascist logic you got there, Hitler.

Usually I consider music messageboards and/or Manic Street Preachers fans to be something of a fish in a barrel situation, but.

17 pages of argument about a single moment less than a tenth of a second long on one song on (a leak of) an album that hasn't been released yet.

17 pages in one day.

Over on the LJ comm toriamos, nefret (whom I'm positive I've seen show up in a report or two in these here parts, though I can't for the life of me remember why) posts her opinions on the music video for Big Wheel, Tori Amos's new single (video can be seen here).

Nefret's thoughts:

"the video for big wheel was the last nail in the coffin.

toris about as useless as tits on a boar.

t-i-t-s dont u 4 get"

Naturally, most of the members get their panties in a bunch. Bjork is trotted out. The OP is charged with the crime of being a misogynist. People debate over the purpose of the community and why the hell the OP is there. Accusations of interrogating the text from the wrong perspective are tossed about like pistachios in a washing machine.

Small, yet mildly entertaining.

As one might well imagine, Police fandom has become a hotbed for wank and insane behavior since the announced reunion tour in February.

Skipping over all the expected wank about Sting having "turned to the Dark Side", rants about ticket prices, set-lists, and ye olde favorite Sting vs. Stewart wars, we now have the truly batshit crazies coming out of the woodwork - ( like Roxanne75 )

[ETA: Oh, apparently this nutter's been all over the Stingus.net messageboards spreading insanity there, too. It's the wank that just keeps wanking: "I have to assume that Sting does not want me, he hates singles and he wants no singles in his forum. I am harassed out with this entry, I did not get the support I needed, they LAUGH about my loss. Sting has puked on the grave of his parents. He is cruel and hateful. I have made a psychological check, my brain is totally fine." Yeah, sure it is, sweetie...]

[ETA Part 2: She's still wanking away: I am a victim and STING must protect me! and her fight will go on for HUMAN RIGHTS!]

'Plagiarism' kerfluffle in Korean boyband RPS fandom.

A few days ago, Ravenlock_3 posts a fic in which one of the characters is dying of AIDS, and later, quix_esque also postsa fic where one of the characters has AIDS.

Well, Ravenlock_3 is as mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. She also claims that Quix_esque stole her deafness fic idea.

Look, I don't care about outright plagiarism because, I'll admit it, I'm not the best writer, but I'm good enough to deserve an "Inspired by this fic..." WHEN YOU STEAL MY IDEA. Copy my stuff straight out and I won't care, but I like my ideas. They are MINE.

Quix_esque, on the other hand, insists that she did not read Ravelock_3's fic, and defends herself against the accusations.

It looks like we had all better get down our claims fast, before we get accused of plagiarism. Dibs on cholera.

They Might Be Giants, as some of you may know, are a low-key nerd-rock band. Songs they've done include "Birdhouse in Your Soul", Malcolm in the Middle theme "Boss of Me" and two songs immortalized in Tiny Toons, "Particle Man" and "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)".

Back in 1999, TMBG started playing a new song, "Thunderbird" at their live shows. It was well-received, but didn't appear on an album until 2004's The Spine. That version has a somewhat different arrangement from the live version and some fans were disappointed. However, in 2002 one well-known TMBG fan, TDK, was able to get his hands on a rare CD which included a demo recording of "Thunderbird" that more resembled the live version. Shortly after his big purchase, the two Johns of TMBG asked him not to share any of the recordings on that CD to anyone. So he hasn't. Some people in fandom hate him for it, since he's shared hard-to-find music before.

(Note: apparently TDK has a reputation of collecting rare and sundry TMBG memorabilia and has gone to well over a hundred shows. In TMBG fandom he's been known to brag about his collection and how much some if it has cost. Fandom opinion seems to be split between "He's a nice guy!" and "What a bigheaded bastard.")

Fast-forward to February 25th, 2007! So someone else was able to find a copy of the "Thunderbird" demo, and a video appears on youtube with the song... as well as a diatribe against TDK and his selfish, hoarding ways. Apparently this video was made to "put him in his place." It is then posted (hello troll!) to LJ's TMBG community.

Reactions are mixed.

And finally, TDK's response: bite me.

Smallish, and I doubt it'll get any bigger, but still amusing.

[edit: Here's a bit more information on the matter. It also contains a yousendit to the file in question! Props to poisonyoulove.]

A bit of background: Wayne Hussey was once the guitarist for the 80's "dark post-punk" group Sisters of Mercy. Then there was an acrimonious (sp?) split, after which he went to found The Mission - a gothic-rock band of perhaps slightly less legendary status. (DISCLAIMER: the current poster likes both bands but prefers the Sisters.)

It seems that after twenty-one years, Wayne can't let go of the Sisters, or get over his problems with their lead singer Andrew Eldritch. Or avoid going onto his own fan-forum to flame people who wear T-shirts to his gigs describing the modern Mission being "Big Nose Hussey + session musicians".

"Lordy, at my age I could outrun you in a marathon.....I could drink you under the table....I could put more drugs up my nose.......and I can pull more and better looking girls/boys than you, and I know what to do with them.......I may have a big nose but I ain't ugly like you........and I don't wear a big silly hat....anymore......
And MGT does have a very valid point... And I'm sure Rich and Springy would agree.....If that is how you see us then why don't just f**k off and don't bother coming to our shows anymore and go and pay £50 to see SOM [the Sisters of Mercy] everytime they play and then moan about how crap they are and you're never gonna go again...until the next time......I bet you never moan that the 'Dritch [Andrew Eldritch] uses 'session musicians'......
Wanker...."

My personal feelings vary between contempt for an artist who gets that offended by the content of T-shirts; and sorrow that apparently the Mission's fandom is so small these days that Wayney knows every single person in the audience.

For some reason there seems to be quite a lot of wank around harp playing indie artist Joanna Newsom. I thought this one warranted posting.

So Joanna Newsom released a new album this year entitled Ys. It is extremely ambitious and one would not be out of line to call it difficult. However despite that it seemed to be getting an endless stream of positive reviews.

Except from Rolling Stone.

They summed up the album with;
"Newsom is a classically trained harpist and singer who made a very good 2004 record, but this EP is hard to stomach: Five tracks, four of them more than nine minutes and one ("Only Skin") sixteen-plus, with meandering strings-and-things accompaniment and indulgent vocal quirks that make Bjork sound like Kelly Clarkson."

Nothing really wrong with that. Not everyone needs to like everything. However Rolling Stone just couldn't stand that they weren't allowed to sit at the cool kids table with everyone who likes that stupid Joanna Newsom and her crummy harp album.

Thus they write a new article just to say, HEY! JOANNA (AND EVERYONE WHO LIKES HER) SUX!* ( Copy and pasted for those who don't want to click )

Comments on the whole seem to be attacking Rolling Stone for such a ridiculous article, but there some "OMG HOW DARE YOU JUDGE THE GREATNESS OF JOANNA!" sentiment mixed in there, along with "right on, she does suck!"

*This is the part that really gets me. I can't be sure, but if the commenters on RS are to be believed, the article when first published was actually called "Joanna Sux" and RS changed the title to something less uh, idiotic. If that's not wanky, I don't know what is. I mean, I wasn't aware internet flame war starters were allowed to write for huge music magazines but you learn something new all the time!

Yep there is. As usual. Thirty Seconds To Mars official board.

Slight wank - Shadow wants the band to play more songs from their first album, at first people agree, then what follows is a war between old schoolers and new fans. On page three sadness begins because Jared (as in Leto, as in lead singer, as in Jordan Catalano, as in Fight CLub and Alexander) said they won't play old songs because people don't understand them anymore. Inflammatory words for a group of old fans who already hate the NEW fans!

( Highlights include... )

JulesKD (some of you know her, she has been on here before) brings the wank with an entire thread that asks people the question of, does the band sell sex? She posts a link to a video of Jared Leto rubbing his dick on stage and asks if people think he's using sex to sell his band. Because that's not obvious. Some people think yes, he is drawing in screaming 14 year old fangirls and the band has left their true original fanbase behind. (I agree. I'm oldschool what can I say. I don't like this band as much as I used to but this isn't about me..... I just lurk.) Some people say that it's not so, that rock and sex go hand in hand. Others argue that the band didn't used to be like this so that can't really be true. It gets into, "when Jared jumps into the crowd, should people grab his crotch or not?" Everyone says they shouldn't, but some people figure that he knows he's going to get groped and he does it anyway, so he can handle it. ( Highlights include... ) Weirdly enough the thread ends on how pretty Jonathan Rhys Meyers was in Velvet Goldmine.

Also from this board I bring you feminism wank of gold. You want circular arguments and dictionary definitions? This thread delivers. It all starts innocently enough with a post about some girls who made a video using a cardboard cutout of Jared Leto, and let the witchhunt of fangirls begin. There's a lot of ewwing and oh gross-ing and "they should be killed" comments. A little bit of "calm the fuck down they're just kids." The real fun comes about halfway down page seven when Dr. Frostbite comes out with
This shit is perfect example of how fucking stupid a lot of you women are. You talk about her being a stupid fangirl? Come on, this girl just got fucking death threats over something this fucking small. Do you women inhale the fucking ink in the cd pamphlets until your brain fucking collapses on itself and the only retaining thought in your head happens to be 'The Kill'? ...
You women bullshit about "fangirls", yet it's perfectly acceptable to go out of your way to find the pierrot masks and get to the front of the line, wear that shit, and throw several 30stm-related tattoos on your body? GTFO. Holy shit, he said "women." WHo takes the bait? Hi again JulesKD. Yup, she might not have been to Iraq or seen a mass grave, but she is a feminist and don't anyone forget that. (And I'm not saying feminist like it's a bad thing, but she just won't quit.)

( Highlights include... ) The funny thing is that later in the thread, Dr. Frostbite and JulesKD end up bonding over martial arts while she and AxeGoddess (see the wank above,) are still going at it.

From there we turn to the less wanky but still fun Witch-hunt thread. A list of pathetic fangirls! Call them out! They get into MySpace, fat-wank, and the evils of RPS. This one is small and not as wanky as the feminism one, but it's still cute. In response to that, Who here isn't a fangirl/boy? List them too! Nothing wanky on that one so far, but resident troll Jer suggests that popular poster HipMomster might be a fangirl because she posted a picture of Jared Leto, so this thread does have some promise.

Thanks for rubbing your dick on stage, Jared Leto! Yes, there is wank on Mars!