Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Note: In the interests of full disclosure and neutrality, much of this report is directly taken from volitioned's wank report here as far as links and such with my thanks and apologies because she did a huge amount of the footwork. I have only edited it for impartiality and added some background of my own.

Let's get started.

For anyone who has not heard of fandomsecrets, people anonymously submit images with secrets related to fandom on them (e.g., I think this pairing sucks, I can't stand this series but everyone thinks I love it, etc.). Since roleplaying is included under fandom, there's a fairly steady influx of roleplaying secrets: people falling in love with their RP partner, thinking someone in an RP sucks, or just RP wank in general. It makes for some lulz in the opinions of many and creates a fair amount of wank (for even more lulz) from people who think RP secrets belong in a different comm, but in the end most people get over it.

Secret posting seems to tend toward cycles, and lately, the majority of RP secrets seemed to be about a fanon-adored pairing from the series Death Note; people saying how much they loved the pairing, even more RP secrets about people playing as them, shitty fic authors for the pairing. You name it, someone wrote about it.

In the latest secret post, another secret about this pairing was made with an RPer wanting to be the Matt to someone's Mello ("I want to be the _____ to your ______" is a phrase commonly seen in the comm.) After only a few hours of the secret post being up, various threads were made (more, more, more, more, more, and one more) in complaint to there being too many pairing secrets for these two characters.

( ZOMG STFU )

( The anonymice battle the mods! )

( BUT THAT'S NOT ALL, FOLKS! )

SO, TO SUM UP:
Anonymous secret with extremely common sentiment is posted at fandomsecrets.
Several commenters object to the secret as overdone and the pairing as unrealistic.
Secret poster responds to comments, telling them to shut up and sit down. Mostly they ignore her.
When one thread gets super wanky, one of the mods deletes it and the secret at the request of the OP.
Mods laugh at wank.
Anonymous commenters object to deletion, wank, and laughing.
Anonymous calls for removal of technophile as mod for being immature.
volitioned posts a wank report in her LJ with a focus on technophile's involvement in the wank.
serenesanity shows up and takes a personal objection to the links that may or may not link to her comments. I'm not quite sure.
Arguments ensue. Volitioned says it's not about Serenesanity. Technophile continues to laugh.

And the wankas win!

EDIT FOR GREAT JUSTICE: volitioned has deleted her journal! Color me shocked!

EDIT FOR SLIGHTLY LESSER JUSTICE: Undeleted!e

On the Kuro Hana Subs site, they received a C&D letter from Viz to stop subbing Death Note (which only has two episodes to go, BTW). Death Note fans are known for being smart and mature so I'm sure they are handling the news very well and the forum didn't explode with capslock in any way.

( Oh wait... )

I couldn't pass this Death Note FFR wank up. I was just wondering where this exact wank was earlier today. Thanks you, mousy on wank_report!

Over in fanficrants, </a>arislanchan</span> tells Death Note fans that "it's Light, not Raito".

</a>arislanchan</span>:So, the main character of Death Note is a young man named Yagami Light, written 夜神 月. The furigana of 月 is given as ライト- literally transliterated, 'Raito'. However, despite the fact that his name has officially been confirmed by the author as 'Light' and the fact that the only use of 'raito' in the Japanese language is occurs as the english loanword for 'light', fans persist in calling him Raito. A lot of fans.

A few reasons seem to be given for this: "I'm used to it from the scanlations, it's habit!", "it sounds better that way", "it's more Japanese"

1) I understand getting used to it from the scanlations; I did too. But... so? The scanlations (referring to TOWNL's, here, as they seem to be the most widely read) referred to him as Raito for only five volumes before switching to Light. Given the manga is 12 volumes long, he's actually called Light longer than he's called Raito. That alone should be enough to get used to it, surely?

2) Obviously it's perfectly subjective as to which sounds better, but personally I can't see how intentionally mangling another word sounds good.

3) No, it's not more Japanese, really. Raito is neither a Japanese word, nor name. It's only spelled out in Japanese syllabary out of necessity. Raito is not a reading of 月. Neither is 'Light' of course - but at least it's related in meaning.

Basically... his name can be correctly written in three ways: 月, ライト, or Light. If you insist on transliterating the furigana (which are, in this case, a pronuncation guide for Japanese speakers on how to pronounce a foreign word), then why not call L 'Eru'? His name is written as エル, so why do you not choose to write that out literally?

Obviously, call him whatever you want, I'm not trying to force anyone into anything. Just needed to rant, because people's blind rejection of his real name is irritating, and so is reading fics in which over and over he is called "Raito" (not referring to very old fics, here).

Conclusion: his name is not Raito. It has never been Raito, and it never will be Raito. It'd be kind of nice if people could get over it.

As another mouse named Luna on wank_report says, "Death Note fandom seems intent on proving that it is just as batshit insane as the big-name fandoms."

I posted this to ClairvoyantWank before but now it's gotten bigger.

On the StopTazmo Death Note thread, it starts with:

"Raito should win. He's got the right idea."

"So even Hitler had the "right ideas" Playing god is only fun for those who´re playing god..."

"Hitler was exterminating innocents. Raito is exterminating criminals who need to die, along with the occasional person foolish enough to get in his way. His actions are just."

It goes downhill from there as forum-goers write tl;dr posts about whether certain kind of killings are OK, if Light/Raito is or is not like Hitler, opinions about which people deserve to die, history, and what-if scenarios.

(Bottom of page 35)
l33tlamer: People in modern societies kill people everyday. I am not talking about murders or in accidents, but people are killed when decisions are made about weighing human lives differently.

For example, assume that the director of a hospital has limited staff, and there are more patients requiring immediate surgery than that which can be handled by the staff present. In choosing one person over another, the director is in fact killing an innocent person, to allow another innocent person to live.

Take this to the next level. Assume that the director only has to manage the money spent to buy equipment for the hospital. He decides to invest in a new MRI machine that will allow for better cancer diagnosis while not investing in more hospital beds. This decision will benefit people that are in the early stages of cancer, while probably having a negative impact on those in the later stage of terminal diseases. Again, a decision that sacrifices a group of people for another has been made in this case.

The above examples, are not far from reality. Innocent people are sacrificed to benefit other people, who are also innocent, all the time. Its naive to think that just because a person is innocent, they must be kept alive regardless of what benefits or negative effects they may have on other people. ... Lets look at another case. A cure for cancer has been developed that can essential prevent anyone from ever getting cancer again (yes, this is pretty fake, but bare with me). It still requires a lot of fine tuning to ensure that it works properly. The "fine tuning" requires living human beings as test subjects. The test subjects must be healthy. Not enough people sign up as test subjects, as the experiments carry a high chance of death.

Will using healthy death row immates be ok for this? What about those that have life sentences? Rapists? Considering that these people are convicted of crimes, why shouldn't they be used in a way that will benefit humanity?

Of course, you can argue that they still have human rights. But what about the human rights that were violated by them? Such as, killing another person, removing their right to live? In my opinion, those that don't respect human rights, don't deserve to be treated like humans. Its a pretty simple, and fair IMO, concept. This sort of tie in with why I think Raito would be correct in the Death Note world. (The bold is his.)

Also don't miss out on the mini "OMG! YOU'RE A GIRL SO YOU CAN'T SWEAR!" wank that starts on page 39.

death_note is a community with well over 2000 members. So they looked for volunteers to mod the community. They too on a few , among them forunlawfulck. Who as soon as given maintainer rights, deleted all the other mods, gave maintainer rights to one of his/her friends, worstangel and appearantly deletes posts made by the former mods.

Introduction post here.

(Ex-)Mod post on another community. Complete with setting a deadline for handing the community back to the original maintainer.

Another post by an (ex-)moderator.

And another

They all have something to say

And worstangel posts - appearantly, she had no clue what was about to happen.

And finally, the new mod posts in the community! Watch the drama unfold!

Appearantly, while I was asleep and maybe even right now, they are having a 'maintainer-match' by getting the password, changing the password and so on.

God, I need an icon for surviving this wank...

This is truly bytesized wank as it's basically only a couple of comments but I thought I'd post it anyway since Death Note wank is so rare and precious.

( Matsuda/Sayu supporters make Mello the gayest man ever OMG! )

OP: Haven't you ever noticed how a lot of girls read Death Note only for TEH HAWT bishounen?

A lot of girls: No.

OP: No, wait. By "alot", I meant "a few".

230+ posts and counting.

ETA: We've achieved Godwin! And now the OP is starting to freeze threads! Can BAH-LEETION be far behind? If anyone wants to start screencapping, I've got webspace to host.

ETA 2: The OP has left a "I wasn't insulting at all except to the girls I was referring to in my original post nyah nyah so there" message, with replies frozen so he doesn't have to listen to rebuttals. ( Saved here in case of BAHLEETION )

ETA 3: And potentially deleting comments! (I'm not entirely sure the OP did it and not the commentor. I got confirmation from the commentor - it was the OP.)

ETA 4: BAH-LEETION! And the Wankgard Serpent bites its own tail.

There's some classic yaoi wank going down in the tiny fandom of Death Note. It's a manga involving a psycho main character, Raito, with a Notebook of Death who wants to cleanse the Earth of criminals. Also, a super smart teenage investigator, L, who attends school with Raito while attempting to gather enough evidence to arrest him. (Are you sensing where the slash is coming from?) That's a really terrible summery so just go read it.

OP: What's up with all the yaoi! AREN'T ANY OF YOU REAL FANS! And I am not a lesbian!
Others: RIGHT ON!
More Others: Plz be rational, people.
Even More Others: STEP OFF, BITCH!

The OP has isn't commenting so it's small but still mildly amusing. Btw, the main reason I'm posting this is because I want everyone to read DN because it's the shit.