Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a LiveJournal user called _allecto_ who hated Joss Whedon and his so called feminist reputation, and was determined to expose him for what he was.

To that end, she posted a rant on her LiveJournal which, to be quite frank, has to be read to be believed.

Here.

Highlights:
Zoe calls Mal 'sir' (thereby proving that Joss hates women).

Mal threatens to duct-tape Kaylee's mouth and lock her in the hold (thereby proving that _allecto_ would not recognise humour if it bit her on the butt while wearing a Groucho Marx disguise...oh, and Joss hates women).

The best bit?

On the strength of Joss' work on Firefly and interviews she has seen, _allecto_ alleges that:

I feel awful for Joss Whedon's wife. From what I've read about him and the interviews I've watched, I'm fairly certain that he rapes his wife and abuses her in various other ways.

Because _allecto_ appears to be screening comments (can't imagine why) or deleting any she doesn't like (ditto), disagreeing comments can be found in another LJ:

here.

~~~

ETA: Whedonesque reacts.

Screencaps of Whedonesque before it's gone can be found here.

I thought it would take ten days for the spooge to truly hit the fan, but here we go.

Last week, a group of eggy custard lovers Firefly fen descended upon the distant and unprepared shores of California for Flanvention 2, the overpriced convention that never happened. A splendid time was had by those brave 200-300 who came out of total ignorance, or made a leap of faith, because that's how damn shiny the Firefly actors are.

Booster Events has put targets on their shirts opened their site back up now that the event weekend is over. They have a cancellation notice up and everything, now that the con is over, and are advertizing for two more cons they're putting on.

Isn't that cute? It's like they expect people to come to future events or something. Awwww...

Over on Whedonesque, people bring teh funny early on, but that gets squashed and we're left with some rather boring cooler heads deciding to walk away. (After they rant a bit, of course.)

Never fear! You can't stop the signal wank! They even kindly point out where we can find it!

Over at the Booser Events board we get to see the flimsy excuse of a PR move heart-felt apology for the weekend's fiasco, including a bit of sour grapes misdirection in a further reply. "We are beyond thrilled that the backup bash went so well and you all got to party not only with the BDH's but also other Whedonverse." You can imagine how well that went over. This is where we hear how the Backup Bash wasn't what they paid for, and that only 200-300 people showed, which left 200-300 people with nothing. We're also treated to a post by someone who thinks that saying, "I would like my refund please." six times, and repeated use of the word "FRAUD" will get them treated better than all the other sheep who were fleeced this weekend.

Meanwhile, it's more of the same but with a more amusing name, over on LJ. The community be_victims teaches everyone how to take it bent over and sideways complains about BE and begins dispensing legal advice. (Sorry, the first time I saw the name of that com, I had a moment of "WTF?" It makes me giggle, though it probably shouldn't.)

Again, most of the fandom is full of justifiable outrage, but there's plenty to point and laugh about. (And I mean it, this time. lol)

Flanvention 2 was supposed to be a pretty shiny shindig, offering Firefly fans a small number of attendees to the con a chance to spend some fairly close time with many of the stars of the show.

At hundreds of dollars per ticket (I looked up the price a couple of weeks ago, but can't remember what they were going for exactly) you'd expect to be able to sleep in the same bed as the guests, or at least, say, have the con actually happen.

And that's where you'd be wrong.

On November 28th, there were announcements that Booser Events was in some financial trouble, and that Flan2 might not happen, but people were quickly assured that of course everything was okay, they'd secured a loan, and Flan2 was a go.

One hour before the con was supposed to start, it poofed, and all wank broke out. There were circumstances beyond their control, so they had to cancel. People just aren't buying it, though. We're treated to a lecture on the evils of for-profit cons, while others are confused over whether Flan2 is fan run or not.

And some people are just lost and confused. Like everyone on planes right now, not knowing they're not attending a con this weekend. Or the hotel.

It's more horror-inspiring than wanky right now, since most of these people have legitimate concerns, but the wank is spreading as it sinks in...

edit: Here, have a friendly helping of context. If you dare.

Revenge of the edit: sidhaethe comes to the rescue with more info, including correct prices. "The total ticket price wasn't $500, no. There were items sold separately that added up, though; if you wanted a weekend pass, that was $225; a cocktail party ticket was $75, banquet ticket another $125, photo ops running $50-75, etc. etc."

I'd *still* want full body massages from the guests at those prices.

Not overly wanky, but kind of adorable: Firefly fandom enters the realm of potential wankiness with that time-honored tradition ... Fanfic Awards.

The "Blue Sun Awards" take a bit of a beating here as the poster laments the award processes and procedures.

There is a new category, not included among the nomination categories, called the "Favorite Author Award." Looking at the list of names, I assume that it was culled from whoever got either the most nominations at whatever stage. Nothing good can come from this award. I cannot think of any redeeming artistic or fannish value it may have, except to stroke egos and encourage the worst type of "popularity contest" behavior. The very fact that it's called "favorite" author is pretty much a statement in favor of popularity voting.

Expecting fanfiction awards to be merit-based, non-popularity contests ... Firefly fandom is so cute!

Is it a bad sign when the organizers of fanfic awards write with awkward sentence structure and can't spell? Judging: We will base judging to narrow down the nominations on these 4 criteria: Grammar/Spelling, Plot Consistancy, Characterization, Overall Appeal. It will likely be based on a scale of 1-10 Shiney Stars.

Please trust our taste in fanfiction, but ignore the fact that we can't use your/you're properly on our avatar ...

You definitely want to see your fanfic awards run by folks at the peak of speling/grammer accuracy.