Small, but wanky. Swanky?

willtherebecake makes a post to customers_suck relating an unfortunate incident in the aisles of the Walmart in which they work. She also happens to be a fan of FMA: Brotherhood, and in the midst of describing how silly Roy's moustache is, mentions that there are tons of otaku at Walmart.

hontou jumps in to froth:

"You know what I think? I think the second incident did not happen. I think you just wanted an excuse to talk about how ignorant of the culture you're trying so hard to appropriate "otaku" you are.

But that's just what I think. Thank you for single-handedly reinforcing every stereotype of a Walmart employee!

P.S. Unless part of your store is floating in the Pacific - AISLE."

( Read more... )

ETA: FMA: Brotherhood spoilers, btw.
ETA 2: Update from walraute, and sf_drama post.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Over on LJ, psycholullaby posts about some plagiarized FMA fan art. dramaqueen9731 posted a "You hurt her feelings! Shame on you!" comment then deleted it, but psycholullaby posted it in an ETA for posterity. Not to be outdone, some other naive schmuck poor soul tries to makes a similar point. Needless to say, no one on the thread busy it

At some point, according to her ETAs, the plagiarized art was taken down, and the offender, esteltinuviel, posts a Heidipology comparing herself to Gandhi and MLK Jr.

psycholullaby isn't pleased, and posts the screencaps of the plagiarized artwork.

It's kinda nice to see FMA wank. It's been a while.

ETA: For your viewing pleasure, comparisons of the artwork in question. Tip o' the hat to onaga for grabbing the link, because I was lazy.

Small, but chewy:

Somebody posts a funny music video to YouTube. It's Envy and Greed from FMA, to Anything You Can Do from Annie Get Your Gun, and is really quite impressive as its maker apparently did over a hundred drawings by hand. But for wank purposes, the important thing is that the song contains the following exchange:

FRANK BUTLER: How do you sing that high?!
ANNIE OAKLEY: I'm a GIRL.

COMMENTS: ( We cannot spell or take a joke! )

Fullmetal Alchemist has been quiet lately. Is the fandom dead? No -- just out of practice. Well, we'll soon fix that!

It all starts, in this case, with a post on fanficrants. yuuo, brought to you by previous wanks like this one, opens up with an irate diatribe, properly punctuated with caps, against unscrupulous ficcers who sell their works for money.


YOU DO NOT MAKE MONEY OFF OF FANFIC.

EVER.

Do you realize the trouble you could bring down on the fanfic 'industry', such as it is, if you did? No, of course you don't, 'cause you're special and copyright laws apparently don't apply to you, or something.

So repeat after me until this is through your thick, fangirl skull.

YOU DO NOT MAKE MONEY OFF OF FANFIC.

( This is just the worst thing ever... and I mean worst. Like, worse than selling bootleg copies of tickets to Steve Irwin's funeral. )

( Minutae of copyright law gets trotted out. )

The wank continues even as I type, since apparently nobody in this debate is willing to sit back and let anyone else have the last word. Also don't miss the appearance of anax, which, as anyone who has seen him in action before knows, is a guaranteed wank fest all on its own.

Of course, a wank can't be a wank if it's confined to a single post in a single community, no matter how virulent. But meanwhile, cryogenia makes a post in her personal LJ, wondering about the seeming double-standard in fandom between fanart and fanfic. Fanart is considered okay to sell, but fanfic is not: discuss. ( Read more... ) And it looks like this thread, too, may dissolve into acrimony. More.

Ninja'd from Wank_Report.

Over on fm_alchemist, moshdale posts some NWS Roy/Ling art as a present for a friend.

Everything is all warm, fuzzy, and OMG I WUV YOU until benwuhballs replies with:

( What Benwuhballs has to say about it. )

And their off, ladies and gents! Most of the replies are "If you don't like, don't look!". Bonus wankling happens when fairy1234 attempts to snark, but is owned by the sweet smell of hypocrisy.

More wank happens in the following threads-

false_smile says just ignore them!

fairy1234 says Benwuhballs is just jealous! She also says he should get a Myspace. Oh, BUUUURNED.

Well, it's time for everyone's favorite -- shipping wank! Today we focus in on the FMA fandom again, where all is not well in the Royai (Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye) side of the fandom. Apparently Galuxkitty was marked as a traitor to Royai fandom by Amewarashi, HamsterFactor and Zauberer Sirin. Not for not writing Royai, but for daring to also be the mod of the Havocai (Jean Havoc/Riza Hawkeye) and Royaihavo (Roy/Riza/Jean -- OT3) communities. It's been brewing for a while now, but it culminated in a mysterious, now friendslocked post (saved by zannechaos here, with this comic), bashing the Havocai pairing and Roy/Riza/Jean threesome (comic is in Spanish, but I think you can get the jist).

Some history:
-- In which HamsterFactor complains about the posting of threesome fic to the Royai comm.
-- In which Zauberer Sirin talks about OTPs. Includes this little gem: "also, not for even my best friend would I buy a doujin that goes against the RoyAi, not even for a dying friend whose last wish were a doujin, but i guess it depends on how much you like the pairing. my philosophy is: if you are not going to ship Rpyai as passionately as I do I´ll like you more if you ship anything else"

ETA: More links, originally posted to my JF:
-- Also, apparently Royai is full of bad writers.
-- Okay this is just getting posted for the 'Test of Royai Purity'.

There might be more coming as this develops. Especially if it hits the main FMA comms.

Ganked from a helpful mousie at wank_report

Keysha-chan posts an INTENSELY CUTE FMA pic depicting Chibi!Human!Al hugging Chibi!Ed.

All is "OMG CUTE *ded*" in the comments... Until EvilManiak chimes in with...

Good job, but I HATE yaoi =__=

...And we're off!

Heathenesque to the overreactive rescue!

Note to EvilManiak:  If you have to state that you were joking, 9 times out of 10, it wasn't funny and the explanation won't actually help.  Not to mention, following up your misunderstood attempt at humor with an even worse attempt... Not good.

Not large, but rather heated, IMHO.

This wank combines three of my favorite wank subjects- FMA, yaoi, and shipping wars.

So it all starts when Milk and a Spoon on ZOMGFTA disses popular FMA fanfic/fanart archive Touka Koukan for its "weird pairings". People soon agree with him:

( ZOMG I H8 UR PAIRINGS! I H8 YOAI! )

Of course, the real wank doesn't begin until the TKKN defenders and mods come in!

( YAOI IZ TEH AWEOSME AND U R WROOOONG!!!1!! )

( And No Wank Would Be Complete Without BAd Elricest to Make Your Point )

Behold the Badly Drawn Elricest Dôjin that makes the forum shit their pants! Sockren, the TKKN webmaster comes in, and the BBS mod freezes the thread!

And of course, you have to get Sockren and Kaltia's and Kalika Maxwell's opinion on the whole thing. They ARE the Touka Koukan mods, and they had to do SOMETHING...

( The Message They Left on thir Site )

-Armand

From wank_report:

Over on the EdXAl community Elricest, runa_elric posts an edited manga page she did and thought was funny . Members scream "LJ-CUT!" Then the board splits about whether the pic was funny or not.


http://www.livejournal.com/community/elricest/360953.html?thread=4391161#t4391161

sonch91: That was pretty funny. Other people need FUCK OFF. Don't like? Don't comment. Just because she doesn't know how to do lj cut doesn't mean you have to comment about it. One picture will not kill you, I promise.

okamihoshi: It was a crude joke made by poking fun at sexuality. Being gay is not a big "HAHAHAHA FUNNY!" joke. It's immature and closeminded.

sonch91: Look. If gay can take a penis, he can take a joke.

anax: I see that someone performed surgery on your skull with a tire iron when you were young.


runa_elric replies and repeats that she was just trying to be funny.

Edit: Deleted.

Ravenbell GAFF's a Full Metal Alchemist BNF's fan art.

Agammenon, supposedly youkofujima (the artist in question), shows up to wank. The BNF's friends show up and accusations of stalking fly. It all goes to hell from there.

Then, on the second page, Agammenon claims that she, Ravenbell, youkofujima are the same person! (Ok, not really. But she had you going there for a minute, didn't she?)

ETA: Agammenon != youkojima. She/He is just another overzealous fan. You may resume snarking.

A small but funny wank from Mousy:

"Manga elitist vs Winry haters - final score: you all lose."

This wank brought me back to my days in the Slayers fandom. In winryhaters community, peach_jello asks why they hate Winry from FMA so much. Punk_wings decides to tell her and everything goes downhill from there.

brotherselric is a community dedicated to the brotherly, non-incestual relationship between Ed and Al. People post fanfics there, stuff like that -- just your run of the mill fan community, all things told.

sky_dark posts an Ed x Roy fanfic with an invitation from the mod. amurderofcrows DOES NOT APPROVE OF THE SLASH and is very vocal in her complaints. Includes a bit of "I've been in the fandom longer" squabblings, bitching about yaoi, and more!

It's a cute little bitty wank, but still quite amusing.

Pointed out by an anonymouse on the wank_report community. This wank DOES amuse me, but I imagine the general reaction from the fandom_wankers will be one of "been there, done that, got the goggles". ^^;;

In short, someone posts a cute White Day pic on the Fullmetal-Alchemist.com picture gallery. Said pic, IMHO, does reek pretty strongly of the Ed X Winry pairing(and to a lesser extent, the Roy X Hawkeye pairing), but fans don't see it that way.

Described by the mouse:

Even though it's mostly dead(I think- there's a few recent comments that are pretty wanky, but the climax was in late 2004 and January), you guys might enjoy this because:

a) Both sides come off as equally idiotic.
b) It's a yaoi vs. het pairing war sparked by a fluffy White Day promo pic, fergawdssake.
c) It's Fullmetal Alchemist fandom.

Including gems like:

( uh.... Well i hate to burt the bubbles of those who think Ed is a straight, but he's in an amine show people! Any guy in an amine is at least bi! And i don't think Ed would look v. good with a girl who was taller then he is... )

and

( I dunno... In my opinon both Roy and Ed look a little nonplussed about those White Day gifts. Notice the hunch in Ed's shoulders? Notice how Roy's expression is resigned, like he's thinking 'Alright, let's get this over with...'? Yea, I have my own opinion on what they're really thinking...*smirks* And I'll leave it at that. ^_^ )

And, on the other side:

( Grow UP! You people are sick, and nasty! Who in their right minds (although again you're minds are sick and nasty) would want to see gay men together? How on Earth is that a turn-on?! You took a completely innocent picture, and turned it into some 'oh they're gay' photo. *rolls eyes* I think you should all just admit the truth to yourselves, and get over your little 'gay guys turn me on' phase, which I hope is JUST a phase. Or you need serious help. )

Plus, a side of CAPSLOCK OF RAAAAGE:

( I AM GUNNA BACK UP HER ALL THE WAY!! why dont you all just go CRY to your mommies that Ed isnt gay!!! ohh isnt that toooo bad!? YOU ARE ALL JUST JELOUS THAT ED IS TAKEN SO YOU MAKE HIM LIKE ROY!!!! THEY ARE IN THE SAME PIC WHOOPY-DEE-DOO!! DOESNT MEAN THEY LOVE EACHOTHER!!!!!! I HAVE READ SUMMARIES AND HE ENDS UP LOVING WINRY!!!! SOOO YOU IDIOTS CAN SHUT UP BEFORE WE TRACK YOU DOWN AND TAKE A RIFAL AND KILL YOU!!! I WOULD GO TO JAIL FOR IT IF I HAD TO! BUT YOU OTHERS IF YOU LOVE LOOKING AT GAY PEOPLE THEN GO TO A MESSED UP SITE!!!!! YOUR SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FREAKIN WEIRD..SICK..AND WRONG!!!!! OHH AND THIS IS PROBABLY MY EASIEST DISS EVER!!! I HAVE ALOOTTT MORE!!! SO DIIIEEE IDIOTS!!! )

( And a few more shinies, as added by me. )

( And, my personal favorite: )

Sorry, this is probably really tl;dr, but I did attempt to point out the funnier parts of the wank. If you're interested in skimming through the entire wank, I give you the link, though admittedly, it's a message board and those are always a pain in the ass (IMHO) to navigate.

In all it's wanky glory.

[EDIT]: Fixed my erroneous cuts. Sorry! @.@

First time wank, so...etcetc. And, in the interest of saving my own behind (and to make this post all the more cute), there are spoilers for Fullmetal Alchemist in this, up to episode 30 and late issues of the manga.

There's been several Fullmetal Alchemist communities spring up on LiveJournal since the show's first airing last year, including fm_alchemist. It enjoyed a good, long time of little to no wank (besides a ridiculous incident where someone posing as the comm mod told all the yaoi fans to go "make their own community"). But, alas, all good things must come to an end.

crucifymylove has many, many theories about FMA. She also intensely believes each one to be true, and will get upset with anyone who 1) doesn't agree or 2) doesn't hang on her every breath and commit each to memory.

First she makes a post to the community with gibberish as a subject line, and an lj-cut simply titled "Epi30 spoilers". It starts off innocently enough, until she explodes into random consonents because someone dares to not remember what she said in a random thread whose location I have no clue about. An anon then politely asks (roundabout) for manga spoilers to be marked as such.

And it all gets crazy from there.

It's worth noting that the show and the manga have actually diverged on some seriously large points by now, and that ends up boosting both sides of the argument. Still, it just seems like common courtesy that, if you diverge from the actual topic warned against, you make another warning.

Dunno if this is especially wank-worthy as annoying, but there you go. XD