Snagged from wank_report with some edits by yours truly.

In the land of the internets, there was a community called house_cuddy. For four years the denizens played and frolicked. Sunshine and lollipops ruled the day and unicorns ran free.

And then shit got real...

It all started on January 29, 2010, when someone spammed all over LJ House-related communities for merchandise from a Russian website. Most places ignored it but house_cuddy fed the troll with added anti-Russia wank for extra measure. Mod, lissiePissie, deletes the spam and in the afternoon announces that things have been so wanky that she's put the comm on moderated status.

Nothing could possibly go wrong with that, right? Right?

Oh nay- within a few hours, that post is deleted and fellow mod fishingvegas announces that he has kicked out lissiepissie and will be taking over.

( cut because this is getting too long )

OH SNAP- fishingvegas posted a response to everything-
http://community.livejournal.com/housecuddy_temp/3948.html DELETED

Yes, there were comments. I have caps of the first and third page which I will have up soon. He's gone through and deleted all comments.

EDIT: Here are the caps of fishingvegas' post along with two pages of comments before he got delete happy.
Page One with comments
Page Three with comments
Right before he deleted- disabled comments

EDIT AGAIN: And now it's back. Yeah, I don't know-
http://community.livejournal.com/locked_office/42889.html

Why they didn't kick him out the first time they got control back I will never know.

Let's have a little apertif before the big wank of VB's "con" this weekend hits, shall we? This is a lovely little batshit fan wank from the House fandom. The mousie in wank_report nailed it pretty well, so I'll just quote directly (but fix the link they gave):

( IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY AGAINST JM )

There's a lot of teal deer from Razor840 and others for the next several pages, but each one is a glorious display of batshit insane fans when their idol is taken away. Enjoy!

We begin our saga on the fair hills of house_wilson, where the grass grows green and the House/Wilson shippers occasionally throw shit fits over whether or not David Shore is dicking around House/Wilson shippers.

One day, this (relatively) peaceful comm is visited by slow_mo_panda, who had arrived to bring to everyone her thoughts on yaoi The Contract, a love-it or hate-it extreme-whump fic amongst House fandom.

The masses do not react well. (And euclase wins the "most over-the-top reaction to criticism" award for this week.)

Having been thrown out by her ears, slow_mo_panda once again continued her travels, landing on the shores of fanficrants, where she hoped to be greeted with open arms and kind words telling her how everyone else is a bunch of mean bitches.

Alas, she had no luck on that front, either.

After a number of negative comments, she deleted that post and was banninated from fanficrants. And there was much rejoicing.

Hearing the commotion, ffrantsrants and sf_drama arrived on the scene so that they could point and laugh.

However, this is not the end of our story. slow_mo_panda, apparently having not learned her lesson yet, appeared once again, this time in ffrantsrants in order to talk about how oppressed she is. Or something. ETA: Now locked down, but here's a text-version:
( also long )
ETA2: And now doire brings the screencaps.


Caps courtesy of xayeidemon.

ETA: Removed links to locked fanficrants content.

ETA2: Apparently, our friend has left a review on ff.net on the original fic:
( cut for length )


ETA3: Now a tl;dr post in her personal journal. Man, she really doesn't know when to stop, does she?

This wank brought to you by a helpful mouse.

Remember House, the TV show about a Hugh Laurie brilliant doctor who plays by his own set of rules? Well, all you really need to know is that one of its major plot lines consists of two or three seasons of will they/won't they sexual tension that ultimately goes nowhere.
( Read more... )

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

So, okay, I feel vaguely anxious about making a post linking to now-deleted posts, but hopefully it's funny enough to make up for it? If not, you know, mock at will.

A group of House/Wilson-y writers and artists come to the conclusion that a fairly popular fanartist, elicia8, has been using Photoshop or photo references in her drawings. Naturally, the way they go about bringing this up is creating a separate Evidence Journal (and, I am not making this up, titling it "The No-Spin Zone") and posting at length about how sad they are to have to bring this up. (The evidence posts were later locked, but can be found c & p'ed here, here, here, and here. A sample: "Several weeks ago, it was brought to my attention, by brynnamorgan, that she had discovered a problem--a serious problem--with this popular artwork. As I had always had an unsettled feeling about these pieces--something always felt a bit too perfect--I began to assist this artist in her investigation. What we found has dismayed all of us."

They then post a super-serious announcement post to house_wilson. The most common reaction is a resounding "Who cares?" (Comment screencaps are here, here, and here. The second set of comments capped is probably the funniest.)

The OP then deletes their announcement post, friends-lock or delete the evidence post, and retreat with a new flounce post: "All right then. We'll never bring it up again." (No screencaps available, afaik.) People respond to this with a lot of "...wtf is the point of this, then?," so this post is also deleted.

This mostly just leaves the fanartist's response post (quote: "ETA: My mommy helped with the hard parts.") and a whole lot of posts mocking the whole thing. And the evidence journal's proof gallery.

No comment from any of the OP contributors so far, though, so there's still potential fun to be had.

I just woke up, so apologies if I goof up anything.

Plucky girl detective cryptictac has discovered that awwsugah has been repeatedly and blatantly thieving from several notable authors in House fandom and reposting fics on her Myspace as her own, including claiming pirate_eggie's Howse comics as her own. One of the summaries attached to a fic that she (re)posted:

I was bitten by a plot bunny this morning, and between that and finding out that I actually have an AUDIENCE for my fanficition...here is your drabble of the week. I will probably expand this into at least a ficlet, as I personally think the idea is genius. Title: Everybody Lies

Oh, sweet, sweet irony! The Myspace blog has since been set to private, but there are caps linked to in the post, and there is a tenuous apology from awwsugah.

ETA 1: A more complete apology here, but this:

As for my motive... there was none. It was directly after Hurricane Katrina that the posting began and I truly had NOTHING TO GAIN FROM IT.

Hurricane Katrina made me do it!

ETA 2: Minor lol-inducing comment - savemoony: "I don't mean to sound hyperbolic, except for the fact that I totally do but plagiarists are up there with murders to me. I have *no* tolerance for them." That's almost on a par with the famed julia_bohemian's trolling/wanking = child molestation, don't you think?

Moving this over from clarivoyantwank because it's getting wanky very fast.

Cute House couple Jesse Spencer and Jennifer Morrison announce that their engagement is called off.

Over at house_cameron, there are varying reactions of glee, interrogating texts from the wrong right perspective, hope that scriptwriters will stop writing RPF, and calls of OMG THANK GOD Jenmo can do better, let's find her a new guy!

My favourite response so far has to be from diagnosticmad who gets her tinhat on, with bonus unable-to-tell-reality-from-fiction.

Aaaaaand 808song says what the rest of us are thinking: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. Randomly, does a jurisimprudence law exist for how quickly the batshit in a certain fandom gets compared to Harry Potter insanity? Because there totally should be.

ETA: Finally there is questioning of what on earth this all has to do with H/C, but not to be be dissuaded by this, kianainhi soon after offers her lengthy thoughts on yaoi.

ETA 2: It's almost like if you say the word "Harmoanian" enough, they actually show up. Like Bloody Mary, in a way.

ETA 3: Awww, there are deleted comments in this thread! Some are archived here for your perusal. There's also a dressing down of the mod for making those comments - being the lurker that I am, I didn't actually realise it was the mod of house_cameron that wanted to do the matchmaking! How sweet.

And Now with extra irony! housom_baa: "Lovers and co-workers...is baaaaad. Really bad. Almost never works." Which is why you're in a shipping community for two characters that are coworkers, right?

I bring you an update about the wank that has been going down in the House fandom over the last two months. You all might remember one julia_bohemian, who was mentioned in this post.

julia_bohemian is an exceptional wanker who has hassled the House fandom for several weeks. This is a recap of what she's been up to.

Warning: there are some NSFW icons in the comments of the wank threads.
( Read more )

So over in housefic, we see that apparently julia_bohemian is really tired of people not commenting on her fic.

She's so tired of it, that she opens her story with a : For the love of God, leave me a fricken comment. I know people are reading it. Stop lurking.

I'm certain you can all see where this went.

Highlights include the obligatory get in line comments, reasonable suggestions that go unheeded, and actual commentary on the fic itself.

Also to be found are the obligatory cursing and "I'M LEAVING FINE" commentary from the OP.

Not terribly huge but it appears to be growing. Not feeling very bohemian after all, are you Julia?

ETA:Looks like she bahleeted her journal but there is screencap evidence of the asshattery later on in the comments, although there is bonus "omg I am never writing again1!11one" over at TWoP. :-/ It's sad she doesn't want to play anymore.

It all starts when m1ssannethrop1c writes a fic where House and Wilson get gay married. This would all be well and good, if not for the author's note:

Oh and this fic is not in any way, representative of how I feel about gay marriage in general. I'm too young to be making political statements. This is just a dialogue that my muse wouldn't let me let go of.

hry2007 asks: "So you're not sure if you're homophobic?".

Cue much tl;dr about gay marriage, the definition of homophobia, and religion. If your eyes haven't glazed over, it all continues here.

I knew we were due for another "slash and gay rights" fight.

People aren't happy about kittens,puppies or House this week, because a dog was high, a stereo was stolen, and canes are made of things more than wood.

Not very animal friendly

Read it while you can!

EDIT:I linked to the wrong thing. I refreshed my page, and slash thread popped up. *headdesk*

Cameron is NOT a (fill in the blank)


This might get bahleeted, so...Read it while you can.

But it starts with:

She has slept with ONE person! That doesn't make her a ****. I have done what she did(will I didn't have sex at work, sadly). I had a relationship of the sexual nature with someone purley for the fun of. Does that make me a ****?

( My favorites are... )

I would love it if someone makes me one of those animated "My Fandom Brings All The Wank To The Yard" icons.

Over at house_md, i_love_tigger, who claims to be a therapist, makes a post asking 'what are people's opinions of Cameron?'. Then she explains and tells everyone she thinks Cameron is a 'Slutty bitch', but 'she's not trying to offend her'.

Things get a little wanky, but nothing that bad, until the OP starts to delete 'threatening comments' and to freeze threads(some screencaps here and here )

Then she feels the need to inform everyone this:
I deleted the comments that were threatening to me and immature. I kept all comments from people who have an ounce of intelligence and maturity. I have no problem with people disagreeing with me. If I did I wouldn't have posted this in the first place. However, I should not have to defend my personal life on here or feel threatened. I actually screen captured most of this post and submitted it to my cousin at the local police station. The MODS are also aware of the threats (which were deleted by someone else). I emailed one of them. I'm so sorry to the rest of you for having this community ruined by a few people..

As a bonus, some capslockers appear

Good times.

ETA: Damn, deleted. Fortunately, I took some screencaps. Second page of comments</b>, guest appearance of teh capslocks and where she explains why she deleted all those comments.

A Great Show Not So Great Anymore

And I thought it was another shipper war! But I was wrong!

( Read more... )


This has got to be my favorite quote:

I'm lost. What does Jesus have to do with House?

Edit:Bahleeted</b>

Capslockers are the kewlies and so come on over and root for your favorite pairing!

edit:You want a reason?!

Bahleeted!!! But a mousie has caps coming in soon!

EDIT: A wonderful person has given you, the people, a sample. CLICK!!!!

EDIT:I have now have a note from the mod of the slash community(just guess...^_^):

( Read more... )

EDIT:Stupid Free...Always there for you.

EDIT again:More Copy and Paste

Oh, and one of the mods of the community is insane. Well, more insane.

Messed up. That community is new. Because the old community is full of sand. In vaginas. Someone should icon that.

O_O Here's the old one.

EDIT again again:We got screen caps! Y a y ! Or Just The Whole Thing

EDIT EDIT! Stugh has entered the game! Clicky clicky!

Edit the Remix: We have people from the other lands of time commenting without a license! And, they say we've been played like a game of Yahtzee.

Everyone Wants Some: House/Cuddy wank with the caplockers with manips.

Fandom: "LIEK, OMG. House totally has Asperger's Sydrome. And also ADHD and bipolar disorder and ASP and depression and MPD/DID and the gheys and also he totally cuts JUST LIEK ME."

The entire cast: "Yes. House, you have Asperger's Syndrome. I read it on the internets."
House: "...Buh? No I don't, you blithering idiots, I'm too busy curing this actual autistic child plz go 'way now."

Fandom: *...asplodes*


( I'm totally right! The show got it wrong! )


Two pages of wank so far, with an overwhelming sense of tl:dr. Also one post by yours truly from way before the post-ep wank started.


And meanwhile asperger celebrates by dedicating its weekly circle jerk to darling Greg, because no one actually heard a word of the show's dialogue. 'CAUSE THEY'RE SO CRAZY. GET IT.



Today's questions -- when did House turn into Gussie Fink-Nottle? Why the hell can't a writer decide what's up with his own characters anymore? And will the House fandom ever stop wanking?




Disclaimer: I've been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which makes me very, very hip. I am, however, also blessed with a sense of humor and the ability to lol. Hurrah.

More House wank! I know, it shames fills me with unholy glee shames me too.
http://community.livejournal.com/house_md/1247475.html

Since this wank originates from a supposed spoiler, I'll put that part under a cut.

( Probably fake spoiler, but can't be too careful )

The crowning moment is when she tries to go toe-to-toe against the mod, stellabymoor, and gets her nose whapped with a rolled-up newspaper:

journalismgirl: *raises eyebrow* Who deleted and made you mod?
camrunforcancer: *punches you in the face*
stellabymoor: Who deleted and made you mod? not me. boring kind of troll though.
camrunforcancer: FUCK YOU YOU STUPID CUNTHEAD.
stellabymoor: BOOOOHOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO ;_; banned. you were warned.

So with the banning, camrunforcancer's reign of crazy is over. But the comments, man- those are gold. Read them.

*flees back to the warm, cozy womb that is the Supernatural fandom*

ETA: Sorry about the html, folks. It's late.
ETA2: Might help if I link it, huh? Okay, now it's clear I need to go to bed. *facepalm*
ET3: On Page 2, it seems the Capslockers have arrived. NSFW icon with one comment (eww, spooging on Barbie.)

Ah, house_md. Usually you keep your wanks limited to the shipping wars, but today is not the case, as one plucky American fan manages to single-handedly alienate everyone non-American House fan in the community, and may eventually lead to the founding of a new House comm. Let us watch and learn where baby communities come from:

It all started when simmysim made a post regarding spoiler rules in the comm, which, while raising many good points in the process (you have to click outside of the post and look at it on the community to get the full amusement factor of this post, as she intentionally overuses the LJ-cut feature), managed to stir up trouble with one line:

( But then they've also told a poster to cut a question about a major plot point that had been aired everywhere but most parts of Asia. SO. )

Oh no.

Sure enough, it didn't take long for fans from abroad (namely the UK) to comment on this. And demand their actor back if we're not willing to share our LJ comms. Arguements over what was really meant by that comment (which failed to clarify anything) ensued:

( For you see, non-Americans don't need to leave the comm. They're just not entitled to be shielded from spoilers if they stay. )
And this goes on between those two pretty much like this, with simmysim getting increasingly defensive, stating that this is not what she meant, and yet pretty much saying the same thing.

So let us wander down a bit, where, if we are lucky, a new baby comm may soon be born. It starts when okelay, who clearly isn't from around these parts (her profile says she's from Chile, for those of you who were just dying to know), jumps in to say not only should major late-episode spoilers be cut, but every single plot detail, including exposition details from the Pilot, should be cut. Needless to say, there was much WTF on both sides of the previous arguement there. As an added bonus, that thread includes accusations that Americans are forcing their "imperialist ideals" on people from other countries by suggesting that Americans be free to spoil to their heart's content, and having the accusations returned, saying that forcing people to cut everything is just as "imperialist".

Meanwhile, in this same thread (so far ignored, but we'll see if comm conception takes place and a baby comm is born) alibi_factory suggests the founding of house_uk, a place where the UK fans of House can flee from the spoilers of the American fans.

All of this over whether spoilers should be a rule or a courtesy.

There's much more wank ensuing elsewhere in that post (as well as a lot of silly fangirling), but I think I hit the gist of it.

ETA: Well, that was fast. Behold, the announcement of the founding of house_uk, which may end up being a new wank in itself. But at any rate, aren't you all glad to have witnessed the miracle of birth, LJ style?

ETA2: And I was right!

"Don't you think it's a bit selfish to expect an American audience with new episodes to only discuss older ones?"

This is in the new post, mind you. The wank, it is spreading...

In case anyone has forgotten that RPF is serious fucking business, here's a refresher course.

Over on the house_wilson community, karaokegal posts the latest chapter in her Hugh Laurie/Robert Sean Leonard RPS fic.

People immediately begin flipping their shit, but the real fun doesn't start until a few brave souls attempt a little crowd control.

Guest appearances by The Internet Psychologist ("Your storie indicate a level of pathology that I have only seen referenced in clinical and criminal psych journals.") and The Fandom Optimist ("Why can't we all just get along?").

Small, but amusing.