A wild link appears <-- so there was some bullshit about 'kill a brony day' which is whatever because no one's going to go out and murder someone and fandom walks into walls when left unattended, but the reasons the person taking it seriously gives suspiciously leaves out 'because murder is wrong'

Quoted because that layout is horrendous:

up-with-bronies:

I’ve heard rumors of ‘Kill A Brony Day’, whether these are old news rumors or not, I don’t know, but I would like to make one thing very clear;

Do not cause physical harm to anyone, unless you have a justified reason that isn’t ‘they’re a brony’. I don’t like them either, but you shouldn’t hunt them down, since ‘they’re a brony’ isn’t going to hold up in court.

And you’ll just be fueling their self righteousness, so there’s a second reason not to kill bronies. Don’t make any of them ‘martyrs’

-Vinyl

To recap:

1. Fandom does stupid thing
2. Person takes it seriously, tells people to not go out and murder people because of fandom because that was totally likely to happen
2b. Fandom is dumb
3. Person's reasons neglect to say murder is wrong, but just says you cannot justify it to the cops if you kill someone for being a brony
4. Sep is more alarmed at that part than any of the other parts


Incidentally, there have been fandom related murders but it tended to be over infidelity.

Hasbro’s robust My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic franchise is doing something that a lot of girl-aimed television franchises have done: it’s spawning a semi-canonical tie-in movie.

The film, entitled “Equestria Girls,” is about Twilight Sparkle getting sucked into the human world, turning into a human, and winding up in what appears to be a technicolor version of Mean Girls. As you can imagine, the Brony fandom is absolutely delighted that the production team is making such a drastic change to their beloved formula and... oh wait, no, they're pitching a fit about it.

Knowing Brony fandom's reputation for grade-A unfunny, I have done my best to sift through the wank and bring you only the funny bits! (Though if you click any of the links, be warned — you're going into no-man's land.)

First off, there's some minor wanking on this April article on Equestria Daily, where some poor souls are still holding out hope that it’s not real: ( De Nial is a river full of hungry violent hippos... )

However, the wanking really gets going with the release of a trailer.

There is capslock o’ rage and harsh language! ( Cut for whinging )

There is vast overestimation of Brony fandom’s importance: ( Bronies make the world go round )

Some people think the anthro-ed ponies look too much like their pony selves. Because changing things is bad, but not changing things enough is also bad: ( Why is it different/not different? Why?!? )

Twilightisbest suggests a protest! ( Walk-outs and demographics and greed, oh my! )

There is talk of CENSORSHIP and the FIRST AMENDMENT! ( Get thee to a Civics class )

Naturally, there are conspiracy theories: ( Hasbro just wants to stick it to us! )

Some people are worried that the movie might be blighted by the heinous scourge known only as... [scare chord] ...the ROMANCE SUBPLOT! ( Anti-shipping wank, right this way )

Some people are getting a tad melodramatic: ( Tell me about your pony angst )

And of course there’s complaining about the complaining: ( Like a mobius strip! )

But at least this guy has his priorities in order:

Derpendable
The cmc have boobs..

(CMC = Cutie Mark Crusaders = Applejack's kid sister and her two little pals)

Dark Qiviut seems to be repeating himself a lot: ( Cut for stampede of bluish quadrupeds )

Okay, enough of that windbag. Back in the May ED posts, Blackstar033 wants the option to expunge all hints of the movie from the Equestria Daily site: ( Stick your fingers in your ears and go la la la )

And to top it all off, the CEO of another toy company makes a cameo:

Novem_Vulpes
Ooh boy all this hate is giving me the bronchitis. How come it is so easy to rile up the internets with a CHILDREN'S CARD GA-- I MEAN TELEVISION SERIES?

inDerpxar
SCREW THE RULES I HAVE PONIES

Seto Kaiba
don't make me send my lawyers

David_Ker
Mr Kaiba, I have a question: in your world, are court cases resolved through card games?

THE END (until the actual film comes out)

Edit: I am sososo sorry about the html fuckup. orz

My friends:

I have just found a wank that arguably combines elements of three of the classic wanks recently featured in the Deathmatch: His Wife, A Horse, the Snapewives, and My Ponies Hate You Now.

Simply put: Deviant Art member Kevinsano specializes in My Little Pony art. However, another Bronie recently wrote him a letter asking him to curtail his more erotic MLP art, particularly art depicting Twilight Sparkle - because, argued this correspodent, he and Twilight Sparkle were engaged.

I'm totally head over heels in love with Twilight Sparkle. I have been for 11 months now and at this point I'm in a committed relationship with my Twiley.

Actual email reproduced here. MTV coverage here, and the AV club weighs in here.

Enjoy.

Updated: For your convenience, a dramatic reading of the letter, if you prefer podcasts...

Update the Second: The blushing bridegroom's account of his love story on the MLP fandom fora. (I couldn't get the link to the profile to work, so than you for this!) (Update of the update: link now goes to a Googlecache as the forum link proper stopped working.)

Short version: Some bronies try to run a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fan convention in Las Vegas. They do an extremely bad job of it. Guests aren’t paid; people are left out of pocket, kicked out of hotels and left stranded; and cheques have bounced, including one to voice actor Tara Strong. And they pissed off John de Lancie. Of course, it’s totally not their fault and they want fans to bail them out by giving them money for some as yet unspecified amount. Plus they totally witnessed an agent of one of the actors taking money from the con cashbox! More than once! Really! Oh, and they made up this fake money, told vendors they’d be paid with it during the convention and would be able to exchange it for real money at the end. And so much more.

Many thanks to Amatyultare on lj for providing links and updates on wank_report. I’ve made some minor adjustments but otherwise pretty much used all your wording in this post. Detailed version under the cut.

( Las Pegasus Unicon )


In conclusion, lol bronies.

ETA: Fixed a link and typo. Another vendor has come forward with their experience and hopsandbarley has created a far superior pony currency for us to enjoy.

The My Little Pony fandom, as some of you know, has been around for a long time. A relatively small, but enduring fandom, it is made up mostly of crafty-type ladies who like pink ponies. But it has recently seen a spike in members due to the new show, Friendship is Magic, which has attracted well... there is no other way to say it, /b/rothers to the fandom. Naturally, there is some strife.

The latest round appears to have kicked off when the Bronies on facebook are less than happy that the official Comic-con pony is G3 style, not FiM style.

Meanwhile, a new billboard ad is released. They discuss it at the arena.

This gets the pot a bit stirred up over at the MLP arena, as one Collector sees a bit of favoritism in how the Facebook page addresses its members..

A FiM fan wonders what is with all the Brony hate.

Collectors strike back! With... pictures of adorable ponies?

What does Brony even mean?

The mods politely suggest an end to the bickering. Everyone pretends there wasn't an argument to begin with.

There is so much more of this around, especially on the facebook page, but I could not cull through it all.

Brief disclaimer: this wank, while funny, there is, quoth a fellow FW member, "one dickbag who starts using slurs." There are one or two instances of this. For the most part, I've tried to minimize these insults.

Anyway, it's more pony!wank.

Equestira Daily is a fansite for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, with a very specific group of fans: /b/ronies, or those who have come to the show through 4chan. It’s neat layout, regular updates, and ability to break Pony-related news, however, has made it pretty indispensable for any fans of the show.

You’d think that a place originally created and geared to 4channers would be pretty inhospitable all year round. However, as you might have learned from this previous wank, MLP:FiM has really softened its /b/ronies. Hell, they’ve even held events like Derpy Day, an event dedicated to sending messages of friendship, as well as sharing muffins, with people.

Anyway, this is a fandom website, and as such, you might find pictures and images dedicated to shipping. There’s even smushed names; for instance, AppleDash refers to pairing pony Applejack with Rainbow Dash. Shipping is a little controversial in MLP:FiM, because all the characters are ponies, or at the very least, some manner of animal (griffon, zebra, buffalo…). There has been some discussion of whether this is furry or not, but for the most part, people have learned to stay away from things with [Shipping] labels if they don’t like pony!ships, and people are usually tolerant of shipping discussions in comments to more general posts.

Usually.

Cottonmouth is not supportive of the alternative lifestyles of lesbian ponies. In the comments for the post discussing the latest episode, he was displeased with some casual shipping discussion. (Specific shipping comments can be found at the beginning of the comments in this post. As you can see, pretty tame, talking about cute moments, and done in a polite fashion).

( More drama under the cut )

PS: If you want to see an example of the guy's fic, I recommend this story in which he personally insults fandom for liking an ascended meme character (Derpy Hooves), ends by saying “And then they had lesbian sex” in the belief that this will increase readership, kills off one of the main characters, and insults another fandom member by implying that he plays too many video games via a music video. Oh, that Cottonmouth. He's a real gem.

Of all the things to break 4chan, it was My Little Pony. At least, that's what it seems like. I rarely frequent the place, but near as I can tell, something like this went down*:

*I obviously only have one source, so if there's another side of the story out there, let me know and I'll link it.

1. /co/ discovers the new (and awesome) show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The dark horse of The Hub's lineup, it's become quite popular since it's debut.
2. A significant number of the users on /co/ like the show, and threads start popping up everywhere. Seems like it should be fine, since /co/ is for comics and cartoons, right? Ponies of a different color should fit right in!
3. /b/ discovers Pony. Pony threads start popping up all over /b/. You know, that place where gore, bizarre fetishes, and pretty much anything except for Child Porn and Scientology lives in peace?
4. Pony threads reach 6,000 posts in one day.
5. 4chan's reaction is to put all Pony threads out to pasture.

Reaction comics are made. General consensus is that they shut the barn door too late to do any good.

Eventually a "peace treaty" is "negotiated"...if by "peace treaty" you mean a comparatively restrictive set of rules that ONLY apply to pony posts, and by "negotiated" you mean, "follow these or NO PONIES EVER." Does this mean the fandom will have to change horses midstream?

But already dedicated Pony image boards have been created. Polls are created because no one wants to back the wrong horse.

Breaking news can be found under the /co/ news tag on the blog Equestria Daily, which keeps up with the happenings in bronyland on /co/.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

I know everyone's thought of this at one point in their lives - what would happen if an author brought their novel's character into Second Life to roleplay and explore?

Or wait, what would happen if an author brought their novel's character into Second Life...to play a sexy bunnyfur looking for happiness? Wouldn't that be a great "RP Experiment"?

Let's ask otakuoftomobiki! He's conveniently provided us with all of the wank in a single illustrated smorgasbord of batshittery (recreated on my JF journal for posterity).

( It begins! )

So he's playing himself...as a chick instead of the 46 year old guy. Harmless, right?

Then he buys a new avatar, a cute little bunnygirl, and faces a dilemma! Kacey is a squirrel, not a rabbit! And Kacey doesn't think she's attractive, and this bunny avatar is smokin' hot!

( The idea! )

But wait! The plot thickens...romance blooms in the form of a black bunnyguy!

( My Prince... )

Did I mention that this guy has a girlfriend? Like a flesh and blood one.

Anyway, the new fella brings home some creepy kids that the two adopted. I won't go into them other than to say that the pictures will creep you out.

It's about this time, just before the two bunnies are about to get married, that the girlfriend, tired of being ignored, decides to come onto Second Life to maybe get some RP/quality time with him. However, when he ignores her for his bunnygirl/bunnyboy RP and she finds out, it's not long before the anvil drops on our "Hero".

( Danger looms for Our Hero! )

I can't make this shit up, folks. But the true amazingness is that he's still insistent that this was all everyone else's fault for not understanding his "experiment"!

I must admit I was quite disappointed in Kacey’s black bunny prince. He had seemed to have great quality of character. Yet, as his video girl was taken away from him by the god, he didn’t dive into the computer screen after her. He didn’t cut himself to pieces climbing stairs of fragile glass to preserve her. He didn’t defy the gods themselves to keep her. And he certainly didn’t deny the griefers the opportunity to ruin his happy home.

Pity. It makes not for such a good story if the hero declines to be heroic.

Oh wait, it is his fault...for trusting a heartless bitch who stole his My Little Ponies and dumped him. And so he has his retribution in a separate post:

So, Enelar, if you’re reading this, as I know you will eventually. I just want you to know that my ponies are not happy anymore. That piece of my heart they carry resonates with my recriminations for all the pain you’ve caused me. There’s an accusing glow in their eyes, reminding you of how much I loathe you for what you and your friends have done. I swear by the innocent SL children you callously orphaned, neither I nor my ponies will ever forgive you.

In fact, my dear Enelar, my ponies hate you. The loathing I feel for you in my heart is transmitted to them, just as my love for you was in the past. Now they watch over you at night with glaring, accusing eyes - like something out of a Stephen King movie. You are surrounded on all sides by the ponies I invested my magic in. Open your eyes in the dark and feel them watching you, loathing you for the pain you’ve caused me. Haunting you with the ghost of the innocent love you’ve destroyed. Haunting you, watching you, wishing to be anywhere but in the possession of someone as undeserving of pony magic as you.

Seriously, read the whole lovely post, and some of the others...you won't be disappointed. I also have a screenshot in my hard drive in case this gets bahleeted.

ETA: The ex weighs in!

And Our Hero shows up to answer strap-on questions and, no lie, offer up his thoughts on yaoi!

And yuri.

And how terribly amused he is to be 'king for a day', and what is this mythical kingdom of fandom_wank?.

And is offered some very sage advice before he digs himself deeper.

Which he proceeds to ignore.

Dude, if being considered rude is your concern? You really, really need the special help.

ETA2: Electric Boogaloo - Journal bahleeted! Still googlecached here - can anyone get this on their site somehow?

And, after some more googling..

His attempts to save the furry fandom from being all about sex. - I love that he says he never made it through high school.

ETA3: The Revenge FLOUNCE - The wound is slowly spreading out to engulf my entire being.

( Under the cut just in case )

Archives of his magnum opus.

Web Archive of his bio.

Thanks to hooloovoo_too for finding these last juicy bits for us!

ETA 4:...yeah, I got nothin' This guy just doesn't know when to quit!

( Also, his revised farewell on his dA )

God, this is delicious.

FINAL ETA: He now has a sanitized "POOR ME" version of the original post here: http://symphonic-rp.livejournal.com/56939.html

Thus I conceived this entry, not to justify anything, but just to give those on the internet who had seen the fabricated story a chance to get a glimpse of what the characters and players involved had really been like. And also to share what, to me at least, seemed like a beautifully, if somewhat tragic, story that deserved to be set down in words, rather than being allowed to just pass and be forgotten, as tends to happen with most stories that enfold on Second Life.

Oh yeah, and to completely portray himself as the poor victim of circumstance and paint Enelar as a psycho hose-beast. That's, of course, what REALLY happened.

It's two wanks at the MLP Comm My Bitchy Pony, of which I am a founding memeber. The first wank I caused, so it's here in I wank. The second, though, is totally not mine.

Diet Otaku posts about how saying "OMG My cat's in a pony box!</a> is not funny anymore.

That's not the wank. The wank is her icon, that of a pony with its hoop raised saying "Pony Nazi." People call her out. Others back her up.

Mmm, Godwin.

Yup, Pony wank at the MLPTP. WARNING: Spyware abounds on the EZboards.

AppleJackOnBrodwy: Oh, the new ponies don't look like the old ponies! I'm upset!

And, predictably, there is wank. Ranging from "why must people bitch about goddamn ponies!" to "omg it's the collectors' fault, they complained about the non molded wings" to "What is with this obsession to remake lumpy old 80's ponies who were not superwonderful?" to "Please, you haven't seen hate till you've seen what happened back in my day with G2 that we had to walk uphill bothways in the snow to buy at one general store and none of the ponies had any shoes."

EZBOARD LINK. only click if you have a good pop up blocker/firefox.

It's high noon at the pony boards when someone makes the mistake of asking:

Lol so we finally got to see them in person.. in pony I mean :)
and they do have wings, the toy fair ones were not prototypes.

Can't believe they look so.. stupid?! with those puny little wings, and pink to that.
Well I might buy the purple one after all :b

The first comment? A complaint about the post.

But that's standard.

No, it's when Dietotaku (yes, that old fan-favourite) and Midnight Rainbow come in swinging!

BEST LINE IN THE WHOLE THING (said by Dietotaku):

if a friend walked into your house, that you had poured your heart and soul into decorating, and said "wow, this place looks like crap. i hate that color, it's so stupid! what's up with these stupid curtains?" wouldn't you be offended? it's the same thing. i'm sitting in my apartment messing with avalonia or jazz matazz or snow el, thinking "you're so pretty in your own special way," and people are telling me they're ugly and stupid. that triggers a knee-jerk reaction in me where i say "screw off, they are NOT stupid and ugly! YOU'RE stupid and ugly!" i feel very passionately about my ponies, so attacks on the ponies i love cause a visceral reaction in me. maybe most people can be insulted like that and shrug it off or laugh, but i can't. that's just me.

(and for those who aren't pony collectors: g1, g2, and g3 refer to the different ponies released over the years. g1 is the first line, g3 are the current ones that just started producing pegasi with itty bitty wings)

edit: I snipped the quote and bolded the parts I especially liked.


EDIT THE SECOND:

Quoth Dietotaku:

well, nevermind then. clearly i'm hopelessly @#%$-up, with a thought pattern that is so far gone from anyone else on the planet that i may as well be considered an alien life form. i will never understand other people and no one will ever understand me. i should just stop posting on the internet completely and stop burdening everyone with my psychotic tirades that no one could possibly comprehend.

teasing's not nice :(

Got THREE wanks for y'all today.


For our appetizer, is it hoarding to have two of one pony?

( Bits and pieces of the argument. For the full thing with all the stuff I couldn't be fucked to copy over, click the above link. Do it now. You didn't? That's why your mother never loved you, you know )

And that's enough of that!

---

Now onto our main course.


Bebear1995 took some scans of the ponies from her store's catalogue. Or something like that. What makes this notable is that in the toyfair pictures, two of the ponies in her catalogue were of the pegasus variety. In her catalogue? Not so much.

Anyway, Dietotaku (you may remember her from the 'YOU CUT YOUR PONY'S HAIR!?' wank that none of you remember) shows up, disagrees in her special way, Bebear gets annoyed and takes them down, Dietotaku reposts the pictures, namecalling starts, mistakes are made, MEN DIE.***

Mostly it's bitching about small plastic horses and what shapes they'll be made in.

---

For dessert, we have tried and true opening up MIB ponies.


Rpeters22 got herself some ponies! They were still in their box. She thought they were cute! So she took them out after asking if anyone else wanted to trade for them so she wouldn't have to. No one did, so there was openage.

The spazzing begins. Notable wankers: Lovely tickle who tells us that Rpeters22 has destroyed cultural property****, Glorfindel (as seen above), MareGathersWords who asks us Does that mean the person who owns the Mona Lisa is entitled to paint over it because they paid for it? after complaining that the fact they own the ponies is no excuse for them doing as they please, and Frisket17 who insists that Rpeters22 had a social responsibility not to open her toys.


Remember! To open the ponies is to give in to selfishness and help bring us one step further to the crumbling of society.


( explanations for various terms )

It's... my little pony wank.

I was waiting for the thread to get locked by the moderator, as a check for ripeness before I posted.


Anyway. It starts here, when Ifiorewhatever posts pictures of his (let's focus on the his here. his as in his possessions) ponies he cut the hair of.

There is praise. There's love, there's laughter, there's tears. Lotta tears. First from random "OMG THIS MAKES ME FULL OF SADNESS" and then the lecture from Dietotaku about how his modifying possessions he doesn't intend to ever get rid of causes the price of ponies to go up everywhere.

And then came Gummipony. (page three or four).

She's just as loud, insists people are only telling her she's a moron cause the OP was a guy and gets into a fight with Dietotaku, who insists she has now had a re-awakening and grown from her past experiences of complaining about others posts.

Then it gets locked and begins again here. With cursing.

and they all lived happily ever after.