In the USA our big soccer/football league is called Major League Soccer, or MLS. In this league there is a team called Chivas USA who are best known for being the Los Angeles team that Beckham did NOT play for. They are also the "little brother" team to the very popular Mexican team Club Deportivo Guadalajara (who's nickname is Chivas, or goats in Spanish). Both teams are owned by the same man.

However, Chivas USA is nowhere near as popular as it's big brother team. Lately it's been averaging 6000 or so per game (the much loved Seattle Sounders average 30000 or more a game). The folks over at Big Soccer have been discussing the reason for the team's low attendance.

A few posts in a user named djkas14 comes in and enlightens the plebian fans as to the true problem with Chivas USA. (Unfortunately, djkas14 was banned like so many prophets before him, and his posts were deleted at the same time. However, he was quoted quite a bit so his words are still present to enlighten us all.)

( It's all in the name. )

So there you have it. A short and silly wank to start off your week.

ETA: I'll probably be making minor spelling / grammar and formatting corrections for the next few hours.

ETA 2: We've been spotted!. And Darkwing387 wants a plaque to commemorate this event if possible.

A minor wank, but with tasty bits of hilarity.

Football (or soccer to everyone on the other side of the Atlantic) is an integral part of British culture. There's few things fans find more enjoyable than spending a Saturday standing in the rain watching your team lose again before going off to the pub for pie and a pint. It's serious business.

Southampton FC (aka the Saints) have been going through some hard times. The club is in desperate need of a buyer, or risks being shut down. They find one, but right before the final whistle it pulls out. Saints fans are distraught:

"OMG!!!!!! that officially says THIS IS IT!!!! Saints is FINISHED!!! I cant believe it! no one is buying saints its finished!!"

"Here i am led on my couch on my laptop, tears in my eyes knowing that i have seen my beloved saints for the last time..."

"BLUE SQUARE
YOU SAW ME CRYING ALONE
WITHOUT A DREAM IN MY HEART
WITHOUT A CLUB OF MY OWN"


Then, amidst the wailing and gnashing of teeth, someone raises their voice:

"Amazing how quickly the post-count on any Saints story rises. It's only a game, peoples"

( The crowd's not happy! )

I think what makes the whole thing amusing is that the comments are clearly being trolled, but nobody save TSF notices and so take it at face value. That and the sheer vitriol being hurled at anybody they think is to blame for SFC's troubles. Oh wank, you do show up in the strangest places.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

So, there was a football game last night. A pretty big one, actually, if you're a fan of college football. UT beat USC in the Rose Bowl.

Longhorns and Trojans continue to duke it out online.

Stitch3424, in ncaafootball, posts some mildly amusing pics. This offends sarakat, a USC fan for 20+ years: "Posts like this are why I, for the most part, have been silent on this board."

Additional highlights:
Stop blaming the refs! They're people too!
Football is a mockery of the academic atmosphere.
School spirit = fascism.
You're just jealous of USC.

And my favorite: "And Trojans are so much cooler than longhorn cows. Cows are dumb. Yeah, yeah, they give us leather, steak, fertilizer, milk and milk related products, but Trojans give you pleasure." Someone's got thier priorities right.