Just a light wanky snack.

Facts:
(1) Hideo Kojima is the creator of the Metal Gear Solid series.
(2) He is a fan of Twilight.
(3) He will be in ur Pixiv, judging ur Twilight fanart. Also, winner gets an autographed copy of MGS4: Guns of the Patriots.

( Metal Gear fans: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO )

ETA: ONTD post. Thanks to: vitalitat.

Found on wank_report:

Pics surface of the Twilight cast going to Kings of Leon concert. Robsten are sitting together and there are grainy pics of them leaning close to each other to talk because concerts are loud kissing and Kristen's hand resting on a dark part of the chair near Rob's elbow holding hands.

The apocalypse descend. Robsten Shippers vs Non-Shippers Battle #985316865 commence!

( Read more )

As predicted, Twicon's performance was less than stellar to quite a few fans. Heck, heatherdallas starts off pointing out her disappointment with the con Friday afternoon before a lot of events even got underway. Some are saying they had fun, but none of it seems very emphatic. sunray16 points out what a disaster the Celebrity Q&A session was, complete with WTF? photo of Peter Facinelli! When talk of next year's show comes up, Kiley 1231 suggests that everyone should go to one of Creation Entertainment's shows. Plus further down in the thread she talks about how the volunteers got royally screwed by management. Meanwhile, the one attempt at a positive thread about the con has gotten shot down with the second post.

I do wonder when Skylarkdevlin is going to show up, since she has been the main apologist for Twicon throughout the various trials the con has gone through. I'm sure once she hops on, all hell is going to break loose...


ETA: The blogoshpere is beginning to buzz about the negative reviews Twicon is getting. Rob My World's review of Twicon is scathing. And Convention Fans is telling a similar story.

ETA II: Twicon's Facebook page: TwiCon would like to thank everyone who attended the event. We welcome your feedback, both positive and constructive. Please stay tuned to the official web site for an important statement from the TwiCon partners regarding the Dallas event. Thank you. Which is met with skepticism on the forum

ETA III Bailey Gauthier of the Twicon partners actually apologizes to the fans, while Becky Scoggins just makes a half-assed attempt at defending the con.

ETA IV: Now Bailey is taking her butthurt to Tweeter, and her friends are busy soothing her ego.

ETA V kryptongirl has some interesting personal insights in Twicon Partner Bekca Graspy who apparently has had some wank involving ONTD_Twatlight

This is an excruciatingly slow week at work and I am flat out amazed that someone else hasn't posted this yet. I was going to wait for someone else to take it but right now I need something to do and this is some spectacular wank. I first got it from Cleo's twitter, but it's a hell of a lot bigger now.

Rachel Lefevre played Victoria in the Twilight movie. She was generally regarded as acceptable in her acting and well-liked as a person.

Then Summit suddenly announces that they've recast the role. Why? Because at some point Rachel signed up for a ten-day shooting gig that overlapped with the Eclipse shooting schedule.

Shit hits the fan at record speed. Here we have Rachel's response. It's basically "What the FUCK?!" but in very polite terms. It was followed very recently by Summit's response to her, which is basically "We totally didn't just dump the bitch over ten days in some other film. Oh, wait, yes we did."

We also have a pithy little article from eonline laying out the possible (rather nasty) logic behind the move.

Oh, and lion_lamb wanks away. Interestingly, there's a lot of "FUCK YOU SUMMIT" but some folks taking the studio's side, a bit of tinhatting and ample fapping. I didn't venture all the way through the thousand comments, but I'm quite sure there's more.

I'm sure there is much more coverage and much more wank, people should feel free to draw it to my attention. Also, there will probably be plenty more wank to come. Thanks to cleolinda for dropping most of these links on her twitter.

ETA 1: Courtesy of Cleo's twitter again: Summit responds to the fan reaction. Ohh, there are going to be good times.

ETA 2: GAME ON! This update brought to you by eilisliana

So, Russet Doom.

This is an offshoot of a post I made on clairvoyantwank

Twicon is being billed as the biggest and best Twilight convention in the country. Well, I had my doubts, and now it looks like some of the sparkle is rubbing off for the Twihards.

You see, Yesterday the con finally announced it's autograph policy (it's on their main page):

Autographs for each attending cast member will be available for reservation on Friday, June 19, at 11:59pm EST. Each attendee can sign up for one free autograph at that time. To reserve your free autograph, login to your registration account and go to the Agenda section. You will only be given the option of selecting one cast member. Don’t worry; once everyone has had time to select their free autograph, we’ll be offering autographs for sale for those cast members who have more time and autographs available.

Okay, these people are paying $255 for this weekend (at least). Which is only $14 cheaper than Creation's Gold Package which includes free autographs from everybody.

To say the least, the fans are not happy...

This is going to be a fun con :)

ETA: I was wrong about the podcast thing, so I removed it.

ETA II: I also notice quite a few attempts at registration sell-offs have popped up in the last 24 hours...

ETA III: On that registration sell off page I noticed one post seems to have gone missing. User lennire had flung her hands up in disgust and wanted to sell off her ticket. Now her posts are gone and her account non-existent, though some of the threads she has started still exist without her. Nobody else seems to have caught wind of this, but I bet the shit will hit the fan when everyone realizes this.

Guess what today is, you guys! That's right! It's Except NOT! ( A quick review. )

And would you look at the calendar? It's... June 2nd. There have been no posts tagged "lady sybilla" or "russet noon" at Foforks since the interview came out April 5th... what happened to the exclusive Brazilian premeire of Russet Noon chapter one? Well, apparently June 1st didn't quite work out, for whatever reason. Naturally, it's time for a new press release (already Caito-cloned here):

Russet Noon: Chapter 1 Will Be Released in English, Portuguese and Spanish

AV Paranormal will be releasing the first chapter of the novel Russet Noon in three different languages: English, Portuguese and Spanish. Chapter 1 is out this Tuesday, June 2 at midnight (Pacific) at russet-noon.com and foforks.com.br/

My personal favorite tidbits:

AV Paranormal is seriously considering the possibility of delaying the publication of the book until November to coincide with the theater release of the movie sequel to Twilight, New Moon.

and

AV Paranormal is also planning a contest for readers to win free tickets to see the movie sequel to Twilight, New Moon.

Because if there's anything this fanfic needs, it's more publicity stunts. More ETAs to come, I'm sure: the sharks, eager as ever to chomp, are just waiting for Sybsy to dip her toes in the pool fall into the deep end.

ETA: Chapter 1 is out. I have no idea whether the prose is as bad as the formatting, but at the end of 21 pages (um, book pages, not web pages), there is this little note:

Would you like to express your opinion about this chapter? AV Paranormal is very interested in receiving your feedback and suggestions. We welcome any type of criticism, either positive or negative. Email us your reactions and we will publish them here. Please be advised that hate emails with insults will not be published. There are diplomatic and polite ways to express your opinion, even if it's negative, so please keep your emails civilized.

Well, if you don't have anything nice to say, come and sit by me.

ETA: Sybsy supposedly has a PR guy now, whom she thanks by name on Twitter and is also listed as a contact at this version of the last press release.

ETA: This is Lady Sybilla's new favorite thing. Basically some dude on the internet thinks copyright is bunk. Too bad exhorting others to relinquish copyright doesn't actually change copyright laws. She probably found it by googling herself, because someone named Sheila brings up Russet Noon in the comments.

Oh, but if it means that she's relinquishing her own copyright, that means you can probably take Russet Noon and repost it anywhere, like your own journal or lol_meme or GAFF or wherever. You wouldn't even have to stick a spork in it. You could also probably save it all in one file and make it available for download. (I'm not saying you should, I'm just saying you could, and she couldn't make a copyright claim to anyone's host server.) Not that her copyright was ever really hers to begin with, but yeah.

There is also a Russet Noon blog with a huge banner made from Stephanie Lostimolo's work. Theft begets theft!

Meanwhile, Gilloughly at Absolute Write has a huge hate-on for Sybsy, to the point where I think he's showing up in my journal to tattletale. (If that's not Gilloughly, it's someone who seems to copy and paste off his forum posts, because it sounds just like him.)

There is also now a Russet Noon MST on twitter.

Speaking of Twitter, Sybsy's been pretty funny lately:

#The sharks at absolutewrite are desperately trying to shut me down, but there's always fanfiction.net if they succeed

#they wrote to Little, Brown and got ignored, so now they're trying to take matters into their own hands

#it's humbling to see how my work inspires such a strong passion in people

#hate and love are just opposite poles of the same emotion

#fame and infamy are, indeed, one and the same</i></i>

Bet Gilloughly would like to hit her with that pole, yo.

Information culled from an anonymouse source on wank_report.

Daddy's Little Cannibal was a Twilight fic writer, and apparently quasi-BNF enough to merit at least one interview, with 43 stories to her name that garnered multiple awards. Her most popular story was Cigarette Burns, which her twin sister is now posting for her posthumously.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention. Daddy's Little Cannibal died on May 8, 2009, after being involved in an accident with a drunk driver.
( Tragery! Or something else? )

The end! ... or is it?

Is it a social experiment? Attention seeking? Was she just tired of flitting from xanga to xanga and craved a more dramatic way to disassociate herself from her previous activities? And who is the anonymous source on wank_report - grudge? overzealous detective wanting to show off their leet snooping skills? or one of the wankers, trying to garner more attention? Only time - and possible ETAs - will tell!

ETA: I found a single now-deleted flame c&p'ed by other authors on FF.net.

So who's been wondering what's been going on with Lady Sybilla and the Russet Doom Saga? I know I haven't! But here we are regardless.

First there was this May 5 message to FanHistory editor Tikatu on her talk page:

Hi, Tikatu. I noticed you've been the most frequent editor of the Russet Noon article, so I'm sending you an update on the "Blood Roses" image by Charli Siebert. I just received an email from her, informing me that she does not want me to use her image for the cover of the book.

Charli wrote to Sybilla: "Unfortunately, I do not give out permission for use of my work in any way, so you'll have to find another cover for your book."

Charli also added, "All of your advertising and marketing of the book containing the image will need to be removed from any and all publications. This includes all print advertising and websites that display the image. If there are websites that you are aware of that are displaying the book cover in question, it is your responsibility to contact them and inform them that they need to remove the image from their site."

Based on Charli's specific request, I am asking that you please remove the old Russet Noon cover currently on display in the article. And, if it's not too much to ask, please add a note to the article to confirm that Russet Noon will have a new cover image before it gets published. Please let me know if you need me to upload a screencap of Charli's email as proof.

Last part of the update is that Charli and I are in negotiations to have her create a new image exclusively for the new Russet Noon cover.

Thanks very much.

Artistic revolution 07:45, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

Consider also this newly-added apology on the Russet Noon website:

On behalf of AV Paranormal and Russet Noon, we'd like to offer our sincerest apologies to Charli Siebert, the creator of "Blood Roses," the above image. We had used this image for the cover of Russet Noon under the mistaken assumption that it was a royalty-free image. Even though this image will no longer be on the cover of Russet Noon, we are extremely proud to announce that Charli Siebert is in negotiations with Lady Sybilla to design an image exclusively for the cover of Russet Noon. We look forward to revealing the new cover of the novel. Please click on "Blood Roses" to visit Charli Siebert's official site, Unimaginative.org.

As for Wikipedia, it looks like Potato Moon's page is pretty safe from deletion for the moment. The article currently identifies Russet Noon by name, with the explanation, "Stephenie Meyer uses the word "russet" numerous times throughout the Twilight Saga to describe the color of Jacob Black's skin." You will never guess who edited the article to include that superfluous information. The change occurred after this conversational exchange:


Oh, and how is old PAD's circle jerk parody novel coming er, going? Well, it's up to, like, Part 20, but I haven't read it past the first chapter so I can't tell you whether it's any good.

And now, for funsies! Sybsy's now been namedropped in the Small Name Big Ego article on TVTropes.

Aaaaaand we now have the QUEEN of this trope for Twilight fandom: Lady Sybilla, whom no one had apparently ever even heard of before in the fandom before she became the writer (and attempted publisher) of "tribute sequel" Russet Noon, and convinced the entire internet is made up of one person with a grudge against her after the fandom at large and fandom_wank told her that her understanding of copyright was... flawed at best. She was banned from The Other Wiki after refusing to believe that her "highly controversial" unreleased fanfic wasn't notable enough and continually reinstated its article. Try to read the Russet Doom Saga in all its glory and not boggle.

And for a little added lubrication? Lady Sybilla Apologizes to Stephenie Meyer for Writing Russet Noon. Why yes, that IS another press release, fresh just today! I c&ped it here in case you don't want to contribute to her page views (and she'll probably take it down again as soon as she has another change of universal mind anyway). She's also updated her Twitter for the first time since April as well.

I just returned from a nine-day trip, so I'm playing a bit of catch-up with my supplementary links list and link hub/screencap guide; I appreciate your patience. And you know what else I appreciate? When I got home this morning, you will never guess what I found waiting for me in my mail box. Except that you totally will.

It was lip gloss.

ETA: So I clicked a link back to the Russet Noon site, and found myself in a time warp. It seems Sybilla's reverted to her original format after so long. But before you start thinking she just fuxxored the files, check out the links at the top. She links to: her own Twitter, Comic Mix, Google News, Foforks, Wordpress, her own Myspace, IMDB, Wikipedia, the Wall Street Journal, Twilight Blips, FanHistory, Fanpop, the Small Name Big Ego TvTropes article, Amazon forums, the reupload of her reading the preface on tinypic, Buzznet, ONTD, Fandom Wank, the Twilight Lexicon, and Edward Heart Bella.

Screencaps forthcoming here (thanks ari_o).

Also we may have missed another in-between site version. Did anyone catch a screencap?) You can view the last edit to the Russet Noon site before this latest revamp here, where she had added the "temporary model" for Russet Noon's new cover art.

Below is a temporary model of the new Russet Noon cover image that Charli will be recreating. The copyright information for the artist of this talisman is currently unknown. Hopefully the efficient fandomwankers will help us track down the artist who originally created this talisman so we can give them credit. This is just a sample image of what the final design will look like.

She wants us to do her homework for her. Great.

ETA 2: I'm reasonably certain the Russet_noon twitterer is taking the piss. I quite like the blend of Snacky's and Godwin's Law lobbed our way.

ETA 3: FanHistory has given Lady Sybilla a space to speak her point of view. It's... uhmazing.

ETA 4: She took out her link to the Twilight Lexicon and added a new one to this article from RelateMag.com, which spells the title of the book Russet Moon. Still, I prefer this version of the RelateMag article:

There’s a ‘new’ Twilight words that is dated people to charge alarming waves across the the public. Sure you’ve irrefutably impute to a fraction of fanfiction stories that takes the Twilight psycho we fondness and puts them in bizarre scenes, rewrites parts of the books, adds scenes prospect to be missing. The words is all fustian up to Jacob and what happens after Breaking Dawn. But Lady Sybilla has written an uninjured words entitled Russet Moon and she’s flourishing to advertise it. Some people improvise it is flourishing to be smashing addict fiction. Others imagine it is unconditionally miscarry. To affect the dip on the words button the website.

It's like it went through Babel Fish and crawled back out again, weeping bitterly about its lost messages and implications.

In Part III, we saw what happened when Lady Sybilla tried to tangle with the Twilight Lexicon mods for the last time (they banned her), and watched in awe as Wikipedia users worked "around the clock" to get her Russet Noon article deleted. You can still find "The Wikipedia Wars" linked on the Russet Noon website, but you'll have to scroll down past...

The FanHistory Wars.A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away....

Artistic revolution (who, for reasons which will become blatantly obvious, is a suspected sockpuppet of Lady Sybilla) edited the shit out of the Russet Noon fanhistory page. Artistic revolution has a pretty one-track mind, it would appear. Or two-track, if you count Lady Sybilla as a separate topic.

In the midst of all those edits, there was no shortage of information about me, Sybilla's own favorite "stalkarazzo." (I know I'm her favorite, she says so herself on the Russet Noon website.) The following information is culled from the Revision as of 00:27, 21 April 2009 version of the page.

Although Caito posted the email text on one of her many Journalfen pages, her only acknowledgment of Sybilla's concerns was: "I'm totally over this email business. I have a spam filter and I intend to use it. If someone wants to continue discussing this shiz, she can do so in the comments like everybody else." Strange reaction given that Caito's Whois record for her site openly discloses her gmail address:

At this point, Artistic revolution somehow thought it was appropriate to include my mailing address and contact information. Yes, in the middle of the article for Russet Noon. But that's not all! She did go on. I bolded my favorite parts!

More recently, Caito provided us with a video example of how the attention-whoring for which she mocks Sybilla is more contagious than a disease. Ironically, while she spends her valuable time making fun of the ''Russet Noon'' author for trying to exploit Stephenie Meyer's popularity, Caito, too, seems to be riding the wave of the ''Russet Noon'' obsession. And she does so quite gracefully. If it weren't for Caito, ''Russet Noon'' would have never achieved taboo status.

... On April 3, 2009, LadySybilla emailed Caito and asked her to stop her "online stalking activities." On this email, Sybilla warned, "If you don't, I will notify as many administrators as I have to until they take action." Sybilla then contacted the Journalfen technical support team to ask how she could contact an administrator in order to report libelous accusations posted by some of their users. But, instead of responding to Sybilla's concerns, the JournalFen support team (if, in fact, there is one) forwarded a copy of the email to Caito. This incident may or may not prompt internet users to wonder about the legitimacy of Journalfen. Is Journalfen an actual company? If it is, who are the tech support staff and/or administrators behind it?

... Judging by the look of things, it won't be Sybilla who will be profiting off of ''Russet Noon'' sales after all. Let's see what happens when Caito and her BFFs at Twilight Lexicon get their hands on a copy of the novel in September.

All that has since been nuked from the actual FanHistory page, and replaced with more evenhanded material. People here at FW went a little flaily for a bit, as a software snafu made it appear as though FH mod Sidewinder had been the one to add my personal info when she'd really just meant to take it down.*

Then the mods brought the hurt down on Artistic revolution, who has been banned from editing the wiki for two whole weeks! She's really sorry, though, guys. Please stop throwing stones at her, and let her catapult boulders at others in peace.

But it's not like Artistic revolution has been the only one tooling with it, either. Some anons got in and tweaked it ever so slightly, like changing the story summary simply to "OH JOHN RINGO NO!" Editing the Russet Noon article is temporarily locked to admins, due to anon vandalizing and a neutrality dispute.

Personal notes:

1. I do not know what end anyone would hope to achieve by posting my address.
2. I'm not BFFs or even BFs or even just Fs with the TwiLex mods, but I sure do like them more than I like Lady Sybilla.
3. I have no clue how I would stand to profit from anything having to do with Russet Noon.
4. I have no idea who Lee Thomas even is.

*Aside to FanHistory folks: Thanks. I really appreciate what you did. Do me one more solid? I did respond to Lady Sybilla's concerns about my "accusations", but I guess it got lost in the epic wave of comments. Like I said before, Lady Sybilla is welcome to come engage me in comments, but as far as I know she has yet to do so. Muchos gracias.

ETA: Artistic revolution rides forth on teal deer to appeal to Laura's professionalism.

ETA 2: Laura responds!

ETA 3: The Russet Noon website is now basically a hate shrine dedicated to me and FH mod Sidewinder, complete with Photoshopped screencaps of me interacting with people I've never actually interacted with. Oh, and also my contact information.

You know, I'm starting to get the feeling that she doesn't take criticism very well.

ETA 4: From Artistic revolution's usertalk page:

I'm not interested in antagonizing you. You have been objective, but I still have to insist that Sidewinder, whoever she is, hasn't been. She might not have the same IP address as Caito, but her editing patterns are dubious. I have listed the evidence on my website because I'm blocked from doing so here. If I'm not allowed to edit the article, then at least Sidewinder should also be prevented from tampering with it any further.

All in all, as I said before, I'm not interested in antagonizing you. Based on your reasons for why Wikipedia blacklisted FH, I know you can understand how I feel in regards to Russet Noon. I have seen that your procedures reflect professionalism. This is why I appealed to that.

I sincerely apologized to both you and Tikatu, but never received a reply. At least at Wikipedia they lifted the ban. Sure, they deleted the article, but they were reasonable enough to lift the ban. I'm sorry if the procedure I followed to try to negotiate with you guys was not what you expected.

I would much rather have you delete the Russet Noon article altogether than to continue with this conflict. Once again, it is not my intention to antagonize you.

So, yeah, Artistic revolution is almost certainly Lady Sybilla.

ETA 5: The hate shrine is now down from the Russet Noon site. It's been replaced with a paragraph about how "the wars have ceased" and the rest is now ostensibly about the fanfic again.

ETA 4-24 7:22am Tokyo time: In case anyone was wondering how Lady Sybilla was taking the news about Peter David's community parody-in-progress, here's the reaction from her twitter:

# it's an honor even though it's a satire, because Peter David is a very seasoned writer
4 minutes ago from web

# many fanfic writers of the net will be uniting to write Potato Moon. The creator is comic book author Peter David
4 minutes ago from web

# let's hope this communal novel will inspire many more to come. I'd love to see a serious thriller or drama like this
7 minutes ago from web

# communal novels are a new genre, there are not many of them that I know of. I'm very curious to read Potato Moon.
8 minutes ago from web

# I'm very proud to announce that Russet Noon has inspired a very unique parody, Potato Moon. It's a communal novel
8 minutes ago from web

The Russet Noon website has also changed. It no longer makes mention of any "wars" whatsoever.

ETA 7: "You are invited to read our latest press release, "Lady Sybilla: The Darth Vader of Fandom."* It appears that Russet Noon has already achieved taboo status without having even been released yet. That's what happens when a Darth Vader figure like Lady Sybilla is created. And now she's found a worthy opponent: Peter David."

*That link goes to a c&p in my journal. To view the original (and give LS more hits) click here.

ETA 8: Her tweeting continues, c&ped here.

ETA 9: The first part of Potato Moon is up... I have a FanHistory page now, and actually I kind of like it, especially the graphic and its caption... and yes, my little lolcats, you can has more ONTD.

ETA 10: She just updated the Russet Noon site again (screencapped here), linking to the articles that appeared on Comicmix and IMDB. (Except her IMDB link actually goes here, where you have to scroll down halfway down the page the relevant blurb.)

ETA 11: Peter David's Potato Moon has its own Wikipedia page! It is a thing of true beauty and you will never, ever guess who started it. But to avoid the situation that occurred the last time she wrote articles on Wikipedia, she's asked another user to edit the Potato Moon article for her. And he is (adding links to the Potato Moon blog entries, at least)! He just wants to know more about who AV Paranormal is. This should go well, I think.

ETA 12: She's linked to something on the Wall Street Journal site now. What the lemonfresh hell?

Lady Sybilla put out another press release. She also showed up at the Twilight Lexicon again, since that went so well the last time. (When the formatting gets hard to read, check it here.)

(Fanhistory links are all nofollow.)

After her Wikipedia article was deleted (you can go to the Russet-Noon webpage for more information), Lady Sybilla edited the shit out of the Russet Noon Fanhistory page all by her lonesome (despire Laura Hale asking around on Bebo whether anyone else had anything to contribute).

And in case your blog entry about the whole affair shows up there, I'm sorry. Lady Sybilla farmed the Russet Doom Supplementary Links Collection and changed my format a little to make the attention seem less wholly negative.

Oh also I put together an entry in my journal with links to screencaps and transcriptions and things, for quick and easy reference. 

For those just tuning in:

Lady Sybilla wanted to put out Russet Noon, her tribute sequel to the Twilight Saga via sockpuppet publisher. Smeyer never drew her characters, so this totally wasn't copyright infringement. She put out press releases, a Youtube reading, and listed her book on eBay months and months before she intended to make it available.

Then, of course, the "massive hate campaign" began. Darn Earth logic!

I myself wrote no less than four separate versions of a wank report, as I tried to keep on top of everything (and eventually lost my grip on sanity).

Lady Sybilla did not take this well. She pretend-banned the russet-noon site, taking down its former glory, then changed it to goad voyeurs.

And what did I get for my efforts? Emails from Lady Sybs herself.

Now she's put up a message directing us to the interview she did at a Brazilian fan site.

In the words of Stephenie Meyer, "When a story demands to be written, there's no way to resist."

Yes, Sybsy baby, and your story demands to be put down. Um, I mean the reports on you, not Russet Noon. Your tomfoolery must be chronicled for posterity the lulz.

But wait, there's more! Aaaaaaand she's back to writing press releases. It's the Foforks interview with this blurb at the end:

AV Paranormal Publishing is an independent publisher in the Los Angeles area. We publish online books, digital art and paperback novels. No unsolicited manuscript submissions are considered. We accept query emails with a short synopsis. Email your queries to submissions@avparanormal.com

O rly? Also the Twilight Lexicon is back to smacking her down. Kisses, kids!

And guess what just came up in my Google reader? This post by Karen Knows Best! Which led me to go and check...yes! Lee Goldberg is back on the case!

( Now for the tl;dr... )

In other news, I'm totally over this email business. I have a spam filter and I intend to use it. If someone wants to continue discussing this shiz, she can do so in the comments like everybody else.
ETA: Yes, we can haz more press release.

 IBecause I, caito    , could not stand the heat, I decide to step out of the kitchen. The previous incarnation of this post was getting more negative attention than I could possibly cope with, so I have rewritten the content to remove any false or libelous accusations against anyone's websites or personal character (before someone files a complaint against me or contacts an administrator). Please enjoy the following tutorial; I hope that you find it instructive.

If you were one of those who were giving me gruff, you can expect an email shortly, in which I accuse you of stalking me, make a vague and passive aggressive threat, and link you to my most recent blog comments. Thank you.



Yes, I'm just taking the piss. After drinking one or five Zimas, it seemed like a good idea. For even greater lulz, please see the Russet Doom Supplementary Link Collection. 

I stumbled on this a few wanks down, and I think this deserves its own Wank Report.

(EDIT: Sorry, hadn't realized that sparklefield had already covered this one a while back. Oops. But I've added extra links and stuff at the bottom!)

So there's a board called Twilight Sucks where people who don't like Twilight can get their hate on.

Somebody has helpfully complied an entire directory of threads reporting incidents of 'attacks' by rabid Twilight fans, which range from "Cussed out" and "Slapped", to, well . . . this one:

( The goggles! They do nothing! )

On overheardinmelb, lythdan posts an overheard conversation. This includes the revelation that Bella Swan 'wasn't a vampire for most of the series...'

princessjess22 comments with:

Oh crap.
That should have a spoiler :(
I have tried so hard to shut friends up, not read the Twilight books I have sitting there, quickly close browsers when I see a spoiler warning.. then BAM! Now I know :(

That probably sounds so pathetic. But I'm really annoyed by this..

Waitaminute. She's been trying not to read the books? Bzuh? What madness is this? It's okay! Her motivation is revealed a little further down:

Die hard fans wouldn't want any disappointment, and would resist the temptation to read the books before seeing the films.

(Emphasis on the batshit mine.) Oh, of course. That totally explains it. Naturally everyone would want to wait an extra few years to see all the films when they have the books right there.

She gets laughed at, and flounces. Said flounce is shared with the comm, and tokicat finds her tumblr, which has some more BAAAAWWW I WAS ARSERAPED.

tl;dr: Twihard claims films > books (uh, I think) and she therefore isn't going to read the books until she's seen the films, but still doesn't want zomgspoilers! Whut.

Edit: Wanka breaks rule 3.

I got an email from the nice people over at the Blue Whale Pub, pointing me toward new drama. (The OT forum is locked to members only at BWP, but that is not where the wank is--just 27 pages boggling at it.)

But rijane has a nice post about it here.

To sum up: The mods from MoonlightLine.com who all resigned when Sleezer started to smell bad--jumped to their new site MoonlightForever.com--which is now VampLoverForever.com. D: When they changed the name they also made it a site for Twilight/Moonlight/Trueblood, which apparently happened with zero warning to users.

-rijane:
"All hell broke loose. Despite the mod assertions, no one wanted to be part of the even-crazier Twilight fandom and the vomitous True Blood fandom. The complaints raged. The bitching raged. The stories from the mods were confused at best - at first it was because Leeser backordered the domain, then the change was because the fans asked for it, then they wanted to attract more fans, then it was because it was their damned web site and they'd do as they pleased.

In a tangential issue regarding the overly restrictive placement of slash in the fic area and intrusive age restrictions on fic, I flounced from the site and didn't post again. Until Friday night."

God, just go read her whole post. If anyone has screencaps of the Gina's freakout, please share.

eta: rijane to the rescue with caps of mod hissy fit.

eta2: Why has this been tagged grudgewankeverything? O_o I'm not in their fandom.

eta3: bonus Twihard wank from comments. Since this post is tagged everything and the kitchen sink. D:

AngstGoddess003 is the author of the very popular Twilight fanfic Wide Awake - all-human AU, where Edward and Bella are so traumatized that they can't sleep and where "unicorn" is a euphemism for "orgasm". Not all people are impressed by this fic, though. There is even a hate community dedicated to it - boredawake (friends only).

AngstGoddess003 (http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1713572/AngstGoddess003) is getting multiple r00d private messages, and decided she'd take it upon herself to air out her dirty laundry in a fake-out Author's Note (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4627414/41/Wide_Awake) in which she does a surprising rendition of Stephenie Meyer's whiny note to the masses, after the leak of Midnight Sun. (http://stepheniemeyer.com/, 8-8-08 post) (C & P from wank_report).

The author's fans are enraged on behalf of their Goddess:

( What the fuck is WRONG with people?!?  )

Have you heard about the pandemonium that Robert Pattinson--the flesh and blood incarnation of Sparkly Marblepeen God Edward Cullen--has been causing as he makes his way across America in a series of Hot Topic mall tours?

Well, a group of twats, members of the Twilight humor community 'Twatlight, were there to experience the chaos first hand, and they had a plan to bring a smile to Robert's face.

Tom Sturridge is the somewhat lesser known in real life BFF of RPattz. There's several running in jokes amongst the twats involving Tom, and lots of joking around about RPattz/TomStu slashing because the two guys apparently share clothing, and Tom tends to be photographed hovering around Robert protectively as he speaks to the media during red-carpet events (see video for examples. He is the bearded guy standing watch 39 seconds in and at 1.22 minutes. Tom also happens to be wearing the infamous green plaid shirt that he and Robert share.)

The Bring A Smile to Rob's face plan was for the twatlight member kristaynuh to wear this homemade shirt during the autograph signing session. The shirt is of two hearts with Tom Sturridge's face stuck right over the boob area with the words 'TomStu ♥s You' directly
beneath the pictures.

Wanna see how Rob reacted to seeing the face of his best friend over a random girl's bosom? Well, she posted a reaction vid of Rob to youtube, yo here yah go.

The general consensus within the Twatlight community was that she was awesome, and that what she'd done was totally in keeping with the community's lulzy attitude towards Twilight. But others do not agree! Some think that it was a majorly creepy move. Others claim that the twats have a double standard when it comes to mocking TwiHards, that to them it's okay for twats to pull stunts like these, but would find it creepy if it were the TwiMoms doing it. And still more claim that Twatlight has gone too srs bsness and has forgotten about its lulzy origins.

It's small wank right now, but haven't you missed Twilight wank lately?

Bonus Unrelated Thing: RPattz has been doing a lot of promo interviews lately, so he's been doing a lot of Stephenie Meyer slagging off. Like in this video, where he says: "I was convinced... that Stephenie was convinced... that she was Bella... and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. And you're reading like, her sort of sexual fantasy. [...] I was like, This woman is mad. She's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation. And sometimes you'd like feel uncomfortable reading this thing. [...] It's kind of... like a sick pleasure."

And he says this kind of thing not once, but TWICE.

Compiled from

wank_report. So the MTV Video Music Awards aired tonight and a few members of the Twilight cast (Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, and Cam Gigandet) were on hand to introduce the band Paramore. Chaos strikes the Internets when host Russell Brand cuts RPatzz off, OMG!

The fan girls are not pleased. At all.

 

TripleBonus!ETA: Because we love our RPattz here at F_W, I present to you various VMA RPattz interviews, including an audio interview which RPattz says he "doesn't think" he leaked Midnight Sun. (Beware of NSFW ads on audio link.) Plus lion_lamb has an RPattz after party pic spam. He doesn't look like he was too put out about being cut off. ;)

HighScore!ETA: MTV.com now has their own report about the wank. 

ExtraLife!ETA: Because a Twilight wank is incomplete without her.

Nutty madam says YOU DON'T START TELLING JOKES WHEN ROBERT PATTINSON IS SPEAKING.

The ETA in which RPattz get even more awesome: "A lot of fans were upset about it."  "...Good."

As a lot of you must know by now, the first 12 Chapters of Midnight Sun, Smeyer's addition to her Uh-may-zing boooookes was leaked on the internet several days ago, and this has chagrined her dazzle verily.

From her official website:

August 28, 2008 (part II)

As some of you may have heard, my partial draft of Midnight Sun was illegally posted on the Internet and has since been virally distributed without my knowledge or permission or the knowledge or permission of my publisher.

I have a good idea of how the leak happened as there were very few copies of Midnight Sun that left my possession and each was unique. Due to little changes I made to the manuscript at different times, I can tell when each left my possession and to whom it was given. The manuscript that was illegally distributed on the Internet was given to trusted individuals for a good purpose. I have no comment beyond that as I believe that there was no malicious intent with the initial distribution.

I did not want my readers to experience Midnight Sun before it was completed, edited and published. I think it is important for everybody to understand that what happened was a huge violation of my rights as an author, not to mention me as a human being. As the author of the Twilight Saga, I control the copyright and it is up to the owner of the copyright to decide when the books should be made public; this is the same for musicians and filmmakers. Just because someone buys a book or movie or song, or gets a download off the Internet, doesn't mean that they own the right to reproduce and distribute it. Unfortunately, with the Internet, it is easy for people to obtain and share items that do not legally belong to them. No matter how this is done, it is still dishonest. This has been a very upsetting experience for me, but I hope it will at least leave my fans with a better understanding of copyright and the importance of artistic control.

So where does this leave Midnight Sun? My first feeling was that there was no way to continue. Writing isn't like math; in math, two plus two always equals four no matter what your mood is like. With writing, the way you feel changes everything. If I tried to write Midnight Sun now, in my current frame of mind, James would probably win and all the Cullens would die, which wouldn't dovetail too well with the original story. In any case, I feel too sad about what has happened to continue working on Midnight Sun, and so it is on hold indefinitely.

I'd rather my fans not read this version of Midnight Sun. It was only an incomplete draft; the writing is messy and flawed and full of mistakes. But how do I comment on this violation without driving more people to look for the illegal posting? It has taken me a while to decide how and if I could respond. But to end the confusion, I've decided to make the draft available here (at the end of this message on the Midnight Sun page). This way, my readers don't have to feel they have to make a sacrifice to stay honest. I hope this fragment gives you further insight into Edward's head and adds a new dimension to the Twilight story. That's what inspired me to write it in the first place.

I do want to take a moment and thank the wonderful fans who have been so supportive of me over the past three years. I cannot begin to tell you how much each of you means to me. I only hope this note will stop all the confusion and online speculation so that the Twilight universe can once again become the happy escape it used to be. After this incredibly busy year, I am now focusing on spending more time with my family and working on some other writing projects.

--Stephenie

I don't think I need to add much more than that.  Lol.  This is so bloody beautiful...Oh Smeyer...please to be going over there to cry upon your pile of ill-begotten millions.  We all know that that book is going to be finished and published eventually so that you can add to your dragon hoard of booty. 

Who else thinks that she's just waaaaahing for the sympathy and threatening to not provide any more crack so that everyone can forget about the epic fail that was Breaking Dawn and start kissing her ass again? *raises hand*

Edit:

And we get reactions from the Amazon Boards and the ♥ TwiMoms ♥. The ONTD comm weighs in on the situation.

And the NuttyMadam reacts. Though sorry, there's no vid this time since she took it down. But here, have a transcription of the lost vid, courtesy of aegflota

We are all a bunch of meanies hiding away in this little club house of ours.

Smeyer Ego stroking.

Bonus Snack: The Twimoms just cannot leave the poor boy alone!. There's wankiness in the second link, as the TwiMom in the picture appears and asks for her photo to be taken down. Also, Here is a step by step instruction manual on how to go about your Pretty Vampire Actors stalking, for you n00bs who have no idea how to go about it. It is illustrated and everything. The TwiMoms are nothing, if not thorough.

OH NOES YOU GUISE! They be calling the FBI on us!!! WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO?

Twilight is going to save our country from the evil lesbians so you'd better all stop dissing it!

Cleolinda Midnight Sun Commentary! Yay. Lol.

ETA:How do you gain respect for your much derided favorite author? Why, by starting an online petition for it, of course!