marikocure has a dream, that one day man and pokeman will live in peace and know one another. Biblically.

She wants to know, more specifically, how the rest of the Pokemon community thinks pokemon would feel about a man/mon match. She doesn't find that answer, but rather, how a lot of the community feel about it.

Hilarityensues.

Someone compares pokeality to homosexuality. Not funny, d00ds.

Sadly no one brings up the fact that a pokemaster and his darling Victreebel would be in an inherent BDSM relationship. But there are still more lulz to be had.

EDIT: They deleted it, but I have PRESERVED IT FOR POSTERITY.

http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/3526/pokewife.jpg

I would not recommend attempting to view that image if you have dial up.

Hetalia is a manga/anime series that stars anthropomorphizations of different countries. Stephen Colbert is America (And So Can You). rover_09 posts that "her friend" posted a fanart to the Stephen Colbert forums. Most would think it means it's yet another silly fanart of America and Colbert standing in front of the American flag being America. But to everyone's horror, it's a Colbert/America/Bandit Keith three-way.

The whole community: TAKE THAT DOWN NOW! *FAIL GIFS*

rover_09 reminds the community about "her friend".

Edit:

I am not endorsing this. I put this up because she sent it to me and I wanted to see what others thought of it. You want to yell at someone, go talk to her.

And now we got a sockpuppet troll on page 5: suckonthisnews!

( Cut for tl;dr troll )

400+ replies and rising.

Edit: The Colbert forum post was finally taken down right before this post hit 600.

Edit: Baleeted!

Lambda Literary Foundation: We're changing our submission criteria. From now on our GLBT literary award will only be given to self-identified GLBT authors.

( This does not go over well. )

Thanks to a mousie on wank_report for this tip!

Even though they might be the same asshat!mousie who has linked the wankers to the wank_report already. This has happened before, so I suspect we have a repeat-offender moron!mouse on the loose.

(Update: reporter!mousie says no; the fink ain't hir. Many apologies to our intrepid reporter!mouse for the libel.)

---

Also, before we start, I humbly dedicate the following post to the presumably-different and very amusing outraged!mousie who continues to snipe in any and all posts on wank_report that feature spn_gossip. Everyone loves a bonus wank!

---

This wank involves a nice long thread on spn_gossip, but before we can get to that, you're going to need some definitions and facts:

( Danneel Harris has short fingernails and is therefore lesbian. )

I love Supernatural. One of these days, I'm going to have to actually sit down and watch the show.

( Spoilers for Torchwood and oh god great linky madness within. Enter at your own risk. )

This post brought to you by the ridiculously helpful mousies on wank_report, the letter W and the number 4. (The W is for wut and 4 is how many cups of coffee I've already had today).

A little bit o' wankery stemming from the Star Trek XI fandom, this time originating on ontd_startrek. To quote garamsythe, It's not quite a shitstorm. More like... a little constipation.

marauder_bex posts a crowdsourced celebrity gay list to the community. OP has this to say:

ZQ had 100% at the time of this but he's dropped to 95% so I think we should go vote yes a lot and try and get it back up more (obv we cant get it to 100 but we can try for 99!)
Naturally I added Chris Pine to the list, who else should we add?

Of course, some people find it funny and some people find it unfunny, and no one seems to notice the obvious thats-what-she-said statement "get it back up."

lifebehindadesk appears offended.

velocityofsound thinks this is NOT CLASSY.

hook_and_line can't even find the words.

bjzblue is confused, because ZQ does NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT act a TAD BIT gay AT ALL. NO SRSLY. They know he's gay, but he doesnt have the high, girly accent or the insight of a gay man.

gethenian does not understand why you would want to vote someone gay. That's really not cool, yo.

littlemousling would like to have some serious business discussions.

paradox74 challenges you to make a graph of how ZQ's sexual orientation would impact your life. (ETA: Here's mine!)

fofomazuzu wants you to know that IT'S OKAY TO BE GAY.

bigmamag reinterprets the list as a GIF.

And, lastly, a few would like to see fic where "Adam Lambert sits below 5 other men."

There's a whole lot of unrelatedness going on in this post, too, including Anderson Cooper hit on my friend and being gay is like FDR's wheelchair.

I thought momentarily about putting this one in unfunnybusiness, but dammit if I can't laugh at some C-Pine/ZQ my hed is pastede on yay, what can I laugh at?

...And all sorts of wank breaks loose!

Of course, ONTD is on the scene with a cover of Clay and his (imho) adorable son Parker. There's also a video (which I'm afraid to load on my pee oh ess computer).

And then we find in the comments that obsessive Claymates really go over the top.

The Clayboard has placed a temporary ban on discussing the People article until all of the mods can be reached. They have to discuss how to handle the issue, or something.

And in this article by The New York Daily News, it's mentioned that the mother of baby Parker was inseminated using artificial insemination. (Awkward sentence, it is awkward.)

( ETAs under cut. )

While visiting Amazon today I noticed a link in their romance forum for a romance between brothers. Because I always have to crane my neck to stare at a trainwreck, I clicked on the link.

And found Chancery Stone!

...who recs DANNY without disclosing that she's the author and then gets into arguments with posters who don't consider incest overly romantic. Just like always, Stone can't stop posting.

And don't miss the name of her new site--www.danny-is-god.com.

Mild wank, but it's nice to get a blast from the past.

ETA:

Original wank

Well-earned parody of wank

Flouncety flounce flounce

Further ETA: Amazon has deleted many of her more fervent posts.

Son of wank, featuring commentary by the awesome Nora Roberts, who smacks Stone down as wonderfully as you'd imagine--especially when Stone posts a link to her blog and tells them they're getting their 15 minutes of fame.

ETA the third: All Chancery Stone threads have been deleted by Amazon, and she's been banned from posting on its forums.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

It begins with arson_attrition posting a a rant on khfanficrants about crappy made up last names in fanfiction, the offending name being "Roxas Key". She uses an example from this fic, which wasn't actually linked in the rant.

Of course, we now know what the fic is because the author shows up! Said author (envyofthestage) is offended and decides to use this event to pimp her fic.

As you can see from the previous link, the original poster later amended her post with the remarks on being gay (and therefore eternally shunned, apparently) in Britain.

envyofthestage then makes a post on her lj with her thoughts on yaoi the wank.

ETA: Now arson_attrition is wanking in her own journal and has also gone in to make peace with the author of the original fic.

(Or Jesus Christ, it's a herd of teal deers, get in the car!)

phaballa compares the guys from bandom bands (My Chemical Romance, etc.) playing gay onstage to performers wearing blackface.

If, for example, these boys went on stage and played at being black--imagine the outrage then. To me, it's the same thing. It's like performing in black face.

...I think they're basically ignorant little boys who get off on being tabboo on stage, where they can say it's just a performance, and then talk about how much they love their girlfriends off stage.

And I know somewhere in there, someone compared all of this to Rwandan genocide. (Is that like a newer version of Godwin's?)

Bandom strikes back! ficbyzee responds as does kalpurna.

wistful_fever wants to know why we can't all get along.

Bonus wank as lovinspike247 claims that being gay is about more than just sex.

I expect the herd of teal deer wank to only get bigger as more and more people share their thoughts on teh stage gay.

Edit: Thanks to ironymaiden for this link, that has a whole bunch of responses to phaballa's post.

And thanks to the various mice on wank_report for some of the links, too.

puipui has set aside this thread for SERIOUS BUSINESS. So be sure to share all your thoughts on yaoi stage gay there. (Fixed. Thanks rosehiptea.)

GayGamer is a site that covers, you guessed it, news and stories relevant to the homosexual gaming population. Starting on Wednesday the site suffered repeated Denial of Service attacks and was eventually able to ban the IP that was causing them by Friday. Then on Friday evening the site's forums and chat room were flooded with more things meant to bog down the site, including hate speech, overlarge images and even death threats. This leads many to conclude that both the DOS's and the subsequent attacks are all part of one huge hate crime.

Kotaku and GayGamer have a history of sharing stories and working together. Flynn de Marco, who owns GayGamer, is also the weekend editor for Kotaku. Thus Kotaku decides to report about the attack.

( And, of course, wank ensues. )

There's over 300 comments and the wank is still growing.

And PastepunkJames will wrap us up with this:
Well, I'd be worried, but knowing gaygamer, they'll only come back stronger and more fabulous.

UPDATE: GayGamer is up and running again and is indeed more fabulous then before. Just look at the picture at the top of the post if you don't believe me.

And Kotaku makes a post about GayGamer's recovery and of course there's wank there now as well.

( Choice cuts from the new post here. )

JKR hates gay people

Because if you don't put gay characters in your books, you're reinforcing the heteronormative oppression. Or something like that.

And more whining about the lack of gay characters.

ETA: And fabularasa's post has been flocked. Woefuls.

But! lierdumoa hates the book because JKR says bestiality is the same as homosexuality!

And screens of fabularasa's post, with page two. Thank you, gethsemane and finferwen!

HP may be eclipsing the SPN crazy for the moment, but there's still plenty to go around:

( Lj-cuts! Published authors! Internet lawyers! So much badly spelled batshit insanity and tl;dr your head may explode! )

On a discussion board on WrongPlanet.net, there is a love-in thread for David Tennant, as series 3 of Doctor Who has just started in the US. However, the general love-in turns into a general wank-fest as the thread is hijacked by uber-troll Kosmonaut, thus:

"I think he is completely mis-cast. The worst Doctor i have ever seen; and it's not even close.
If you think Doctor Who should look like a nancy-boy gaytard, then i can see why you like him."

When called on it, he/she responds:

"I don't see how it is homophobic either. He looks gay and he looks retarded. Hence gaytard.
I have the right to express this.
I thought, homophobic meant you hated gay people. I don't see what you are talking about. How can saying someone looks gay be homophobic."

Aaand they're off.

Meet Wentworth Miller, improbably named hot star of FOX's even more improbable Prison Break. Many of Wentworth's fans are so batshit devoted that they've been banned from discussing him on some Prison Break forums, and have inflicted multiple and insane sock puppets on others.

Wentworth is 35 years old, appears to never date, engages in frequent ambiguous pronoun usage about his love life (he's never found the right PERSON! he doesn't have time to date ANYONE! etc), cites a sextegenarian British theater diva as his ideal woman, and names board games, Starbucks, and Oz DVD marathons as some of his favorite things. Also, on a TOTALLY UNRELATED and inexplicable note, he's been plagued by persistent gay rumors for years! It's a mystery, people. I got nothin'.

Because of the persistent rumors, infamous gay Hollywood gossip blogger Perez Hilton has targeted him on numerous occasions, most recently throwing down the gauntlet, getting specific and naming names: Wentworth Miller is gay and has been in a secret relationship with TR Knight's ex-boyfriend, Luke MacFarlane of Brothers and Sisters "fame", for the last six months. ( The post, for those of you who don't want to visit PH's site. )

It's a challenge to find Wentworth fandom wankery, because the subject of Wentworth's maybegayness is verboten on almost all the LJ communities and all his major fanforums are locked down and require registration, precluding a great deal of wank. Also, disappointingly, though there are many many threads about the Perez article on IMDB, the tone there is relatively sane/ resigned (but it's still IMDB - there are plenty of wank nuggets to be found scattered in the 100s of pages on the subject). ONTD posters are being unusually sanguine. What's a Fandom_Wanker to do? Lucky for us, the ladies over on the First Church of Wentworth Miller boards have managed to work themselves up into quite the collective lather over this, thus saving the day. Witness!:

ZOMG anyone who believes Wentworth Miller is gay is 'a fucking moron'!!!1!1!11!2!

While I acknowledge the numerous 'highly suspect Dial-A-Pap[arazzi] setups with random women', I think these gay rumors are crazypants.

Whatever, it's just a bunch of loser gay bloggers that care about this, and who cares what they think? Except that he should TOTALLY SUE FOR DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER.

Can't Luke MacFarlane just get back together with T.R. Knight so we can put this nightmare behind us?

Personal favorite: I'm with Primula on the idea of suing PH for defamation of character. While I'm not a fan of Tom Cruise, I admire him for taking legal action against any one who even suggests he may play for the other team. (!!!!!!!!!)

The solution here is obvious: Wentworth Miller needs to marry Penelope Cruz as soon as possible. Y/N?

It all starts when m1ssannethrop1c writes a fic where House and Wilson get gay married. This would all be well and good, if not for the author's note:

Oh and this fic is not in any way, representative of how I feel about gay marriage in general. I'm too young to be making political statements. This is just a dialogue that my muse wouldn't let me let go of.

hry2007 asks: "So you're not sure if you're homophobic?".

Cue much tl;dr about gay marriage, the definition of homophobia, and religion. If your eyes haven't glazed over, it all continues here.

I knew we were due for another "slash and gay rights" fight.

(moved over from clairvoyantwank.)

So ABC has finally canned Isaiah Washington. (warning! spoilers in links about the season 3 finale.)

As I'm not a member of any Grey's comms I can't say how this is going over, but I did a bit of poking around and found some discussion over on greysanatomy.

There's a little bit of wank about the lack of spoiler cuts, but most people seem to be taking it reasonably well so far, except one pinklemonade417, who thinks that Isaiah learned his lesson and we don't know the whole story, one xsarahdawnx, who is sick of hearing about the whole thing, and gmurray122, who may need some lube before the day is out.

It seems to be getting wankier, and considering how wanky the original incidents were, I think there's some potential.

eta Oh man I almost missed this one: cindeh brings the stupid.
Nooooo!
God this is SHIT!
As much as I love George.. T.R needs to fricken grow up. So what if he called him a faggot. I know gay people that prefer to be called faggots!
This show is gonna go downhill with Addy and now Burke gone.
Bah.
So. pissed. off.

eta again: queencallipygos spotted rfjason showing up and wanking.

Oh, I just know some of y'all are going to feel me on the meta-irony of this one. :)

Over on LJ, regisjr has decided to make a new community just for gay and lesbian fans of the NBC scifi show, Heroes.

Apparently, there has been a lot of drama over this!!! Because regisjr has posted the following missive in no less than five different places, alleging that "everyone thinks it's a weird idea":

( GET OVER IT AND LET US SHOW OUR SUPPORT FOR THE SHOW!  )
With a rant like that, you would think there was an avalanche of opposition to the idea in the fandom, right? Right. Problem is, there's not. In fact, all visible reactions - what meager few there have been - range from the harmlessly snarky to the supportive, with only a few people questioning why regisjr felt unsafe in such a slash-heavy fandom, including other gay and lesbian fans of the show. This person is emblematic of the general reaction, which is a polite "I just don't see the point, but go for it!"

Basically, if there is an avalanche of opposition, it's either all been through e-mail, or really, really difficult to find, or all in regisjr's head. However, he continues to post about how terribly brave he's being in the face of all this oppression.

I think it's safe to say that msscribe had the persecution routine down much better than this. He didn't even bother to make up any sock puppets. C- for effort.

[Edited to add: Several of the comm posts have since been deleted by the mods due to lack of damn given relevance.]

The Fire Emblem series, for those who haven't played it, has this neat little thing called a support system where you can set characters up with one another to gain stat bonuses in levels. Supports also often result in romantic pairings... whether they be gen, straight, yaoi, yuri, and yes, even incest.

A fan translates a conversation between two characters in the newest game, Goddess of Dawn.

Overall, things are pretty civil. Lots of 'that's nice / no thanks' but you have dicey little bits of racism, what constitutes being homophobic, 'OMG they're going to RAPE this in the English version!!', and one brave person trying to save the kittens in the world.