Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

Queer as Folk fandom is alive and strong (when there's wank involved).

As with most television fandoms, once a show is over and finished, there are people from fandom who move on. It's much like having a gift that you love for several years but you have to return it after that set period of years. You return all the Good Fic, all the fun show discussions and conversations, and wonderful graphics. After the show, several years after the show, fandom becomes extremely watered down into Bad Fic, discussions that are repetitive, and more bad graphics than good graphics.

People take offense to this analysis. Here's where the wank comes in.

( Wank 1 - March 6, 2011 )

You'd think that it'd end there but it didn't. People were fighting and arguing and would continue to do so until this, the last comment in the shot. That's a mod and up until now, everything's been about badfic. Then, shit got personal:

( Personal wank that got comments deleted. )

That was really the calm before the storm.

( Wank 2 - March 15, 2011 )

She wants the mods to take down her post so that she can alter history and pretend that none of it happened. Um, sorry. Wank doesn't work that way. It gets saved and posted on fandom_wank.

Summary: badfic is badfic and not art, petulant2u is the crusader for all badfic everywhere (including her own), mods at getithere will ban you if you troll the place, people who are butt hurt will publicly cry in their journals to their friends list who will always defend their idiocy, and Queer as Folk continues to be a fandom that has to hunt for any kind of quality fic. Tragic but true. Kudos to the mods for leaving the wank up!

Edit: Screenshots to her Twitter and locked posts to come!

[Picture removed. Irrelevant to wank.]

(379 comments | Leave a comment)

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

If you're a TV character who's lover died in canon, you're never allowed to fall in love again

mockingbird

There once was a soap opera called “As the world turns”
They had a gay couple called “Nuke” (Luke/Noah), then the soap got cancelled but not before Luke ran away with another guy called Reid.

First a lot of people didn't like that Reid destroyed Nuke, but then a lot of Nuke-shippers jumped ship as the new canon pairing became "LuRe" (Luke/Reid).

To be a good little "LuRe" shipper you have to bash Noah and "Nuke" at all times (best in the Douchefest)but you are not allowed to think that after Reid died in canon, Luke is allowed to ever fall in love again.

At least not in fic.

If you write or post fic that has Luke with someone else , you are insulted as stupid. Everybody who doesn't agree is also insulted and called stupid. If you call people too lazy to scroll over fic they don’t like you get banned.
If you like one fic like the next where canon gets ignored, Luke and Reid get married and have lots of kids, you are everyone's friend

yeah, I'm a "Nukie" who loves to see the "lurians" fight among themselves. So what?

(182 comments | Leave a comment)

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

Youthwank: LJ is protecting children!

elfwreck

Livejournal decided to tag

fanficrants as may contain explicit content, which means that nobody logged in as under 18 can see the posts. People logged out can see them, and click the "Yes I'm 18" button—but ffrants doesn't allow anon or non-member commenting. Officially, it doesn't allow sockpuppets, either.

The wank is playing out in a couple of posts at

ffrantsrants

jinxy_sama is surprised anyone's upset:

I thought it already was marked Explicit Adult Content. I have to say I find it surprising that so many of you who so vehemently disapprove of loli/shouta ... would not dissuade actual underage individuals from creating socks or moving to DreamWidth in order to view content inappropriate for children, ie. rape, bdsm, a myriad of different kinks, explicit smut, etc, etc. With the comm in such disarray over the inability of minors to partake, maybe it's a good thing LJ took the reigns."

Several people point out that "not wanting kids to read x-rated fanfic" is not the same as "not wanting kids to read ranting about fanfic, some of which is x-rated." It's also pointed out that some of the "minors" now being excluded are legal adults in their countries of residence.

But, she continues, sending a lemon to a person under the age of consent via email constitutes corruption of a minor, which, if prosecuted by a parent, could land someone in jail. That's not wank, it's fact. (Plz to ignore the total lack of any such prosecutions in the history of the internet. It's fact that it could happen!)

Yeah, says

izzanami, you think telling kids to go to DW to see things ADULTS get triggered and squicked by is alright? You may think that sex should be an open subject for children (and I think it should be), but unless YOU are their PARENT, it doesn't matter.

(All arguments are more persuasive with some words in caps. Really.)

Jinxy says "it should be up to the minor in question's parent/guardian to decide what they deem suitable for their children's eyes, not any random person on the internet."

(LJ's staff is, of course, not "any random person on the internet." You *know* they polled the parents of every minor on that comm.)

Izza brings on the Special Logic: Even though *she's* an enlightened and sensible parent who doesn't believe in hiding the existence of sex from kids, it's totally reasonable for LJ to take a stand against it, because not every parent agrees with her, and *of course* policies should be based on the most hysterical parents' wishes.

Buried in the (mostly frozen now) subthreads are bits about how LJ is only protecting itself from lawsuits (which nobody is admitting has nothing to do with whether or not the content is dangerous for children), and speculations about the real purpose/intent of the "May Contain Explicit Content" tag: "Once a comm has even one entry marked as explicit it's supposed to be marked as 'may' contain explicit adult content, that "may" part is very important."—because once a comm. has a single locked-to-adults post, no minors should be allowed to join that comm.. Riiiiight.

Also includes tangential wank about whether FFR does, or does not, disapprove of loli. IDEK.

jadedissola explains the whole situation to an unhappy 15-year-old:

But we have to protect you from reading about such naughty things, otherwise you might get IDEAS and you might start thinking about trying this S-E-X thing for yourself! Clearly, without all this talk of sex, you'll never think of trying it on your own/fantasize about celebrities! What's worse, you might get the idea that sex is something to be enjoyed, maybe even celebrated! You need to understand that sex can KILL YOU (or at least give you babies).

Try again in three years when, magically, you become an adult overnight and suddenly your brain will be capable of handling all these grown-up ideas.

(1142 comments | Leave a comment)

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Reasoned and reasonable literary criticism, Kradam-style

urpletastic

First attempt at posting, although I've been barracking from the sidelines for about a millennium now ...

astolat posts A Matter Of Inconvenience, which is American Idol slashfic (Kris/Adam) with a 'Regency' setting. At least, that's the general idea, and harmless enough you would have thought - assuming that AI AU RPS is your thing. (Alphabet soup!)

zvi, however, takes exception. Amongst other objections, A Matter of Inconvenience is not about race, thoughtlessly invokes colonial issues, and just doesn't put up any warning flags for those who are about to read it. Also, apparently, this is a thing Astolat fucked up. Everybody, please to endeavor not to fuck up like that with your next happy fun sexytimes historical.

What starts off as moderately polite discussion about historicity in slash fanfiction is, however, quickly derailed by

willow who offers the following reasoned evaluation: In the middle of the cuppa tea, the empire waist dresses and the ass-sex of your AU Regency - please to be remembering the hydra heads of colonialism and imperialism and what that means for and about your whitey white penis salt lick fan thought of the moment.

liviapenn tries to calm things down a bit with some entertaining stuff about plumbers and blow jobs but this only serves to upset

willow further. Why is it that everytime I see you lately, you're happily shoving your foot into your mouth via your hindquarters? ... You keep claiming to understand your privilege and say you're reflecting on it and then you start chomping that feces encrusted shoe leather again.

willow's User Info states "'M brown and I have an attitude." No kidding.

astolat's attempt to explain herself gets stomped on, and the desirability of historical accuracy in a Kris/Adam Regency alternate universe is lathered, rinsed and repeated for those who missed it the first time.

Small, but strangely vitriolic given the subject matter. It's difficult to imagine why people are getting quite so over-excited about one piece of costumed fluff in a universe of lesbian cars and tentacle porn, but it may keep us entertained while we're waiting for next incarnation of VB.

ETA: Okay, I get the message, I got it wrong - or maybe I just don't have a sense of humour? Either way, it was obviously a bad call. Lesson learned.

(407 comments | Leave a comment)

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

lj genderfails, bnf responds with accidental russophobia, a couple of fanpoodles slip the leash

cimorene111

It all starts with what people are already calling LJ Genderfail: the newest beta version of LJ added a mandatory "gender" field to the sign-up process and eliminated the "unspecified" option (LJ quickly responded that the mandatoryness and binaryness of the new question were an accidental bug, and that the code was not going to go live. Of course, not everyone believes them about the "unintentional" part).

Well-known SGA BNF, former lj staffmember and co-founder of Dreamwidth Synecdochic made a call-to-action post that included the line,

It's been a while since I've been furious with anything LJ has done; having DW has done a lot to calm down my knee-jerk "AUUUGH NO" whenever Moscow does something stupid again.

A few people, some Russian and some not, are offended by this, and object. Synecdochic apologizes and edits the post after a request for clarification, but that is not enough to stop Ivorygates from making her side look bad.

Furiosity (who identifies as Russian) had objected to dismissing an entire culture because you're mad at some of its representatives, and Ivorygates takes the opportunity to school her. In her own cultural history. Because, you know, Russians don't understand freedom: it's not in their culture! America's special history of free speech can't be truly respected by them! (At this point Synecdochic freezes the thread.)

But Ivorygates isn't done! Bell had commented to Synecdochic that saying "Moscow" made a decision wasn't the same as saying "San Francisco" did because "Moscow, in US rhetoric, is that creepy place with commies and weird politics and gangsters". Ivorygates PMs her about this claim,

Are you actually -- are you actually seriously -- suggesting that identifying as a Russian national -- online, where you are safe from physical attack and can maintain anonymity -- presents you with duress identical to the harassment and persecution that transsexual and genderqueer individuals experience not only on-line, but in every facet of their lives?

Furiosity also posts to ask people to apologize instead of getting defensive when informed that they have offended "someone's race/culture/language/sexual orientation/gender identity/whatever". In her post meddie_flow comes to Synecdochic's defense with the ever popular Bingo square of "She didn't mean anything by it" with a side-order of "don't turn everything into a lynch-mob". Being offended by russophobia is also likened to being offended by the color red, and I'm honestly not sure if the irony there was intentional or not...

(483 comments | Leave a comment)

Saturday, July 25th, 2009

Russell T. Davies: Tinhat SPN Wincest Shipper! In other news, Torchwood wank.

twinno

( Spoilers for Torchwood and oh god great linky madness within. Enter at your own risk. )

This post brought to you by the ridiculously helpful mousies on

wank_report, the letter W and the number 4. (The W is for wut and 4 is how many cups of coffee I've already had today).

(574 comments | Leave a comment)

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

Digi-wank like it was 1999

xelloss

Well, if you're looking for some real crazy, look no further than digimon!.

Overlord_Mordax wants to know why people like Ken. Or as one user puts it, why people like her. Mom jokes are taken seriously. Anonymous gets involved.

Mordax BAWS on her own journal.

***brought to my attention by a lovely mouse on wank_report

(258 comments | Leave a comment)

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

The Curious Incident of DLC on the Net-time

caito

Information culled from an anonymouse source on

wank_report.

Daddy's Little Cannibal was a Twilight fic writer, and apparently quasi-BNF enough to merit at least one interview, with 43 stories to her name that garnered multiple awards. Her most popular story was Cigarette Burns, which her twin sister is now posting for her posthumously.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention. Daddy's Little Cannibal died on May 8, 2009, after being involved in an accident with a drunk driver.
( Tragery! Or something else? )

The end! ... or is it?

Is it a social experiment? Attention seeking? Was she just tired of flitting from xanga to xanga and craved a more dramatic way to disassociate herself from her previous activities? And who is the anonymous source on wank_report - grudge? overzealous detective wanting to show off their leet snooping skills? or one of the wankers, trying to garner more attention? Only time - and possible ETAs - will tell!

ETA: I found a single now-deleted flame c&p'ed by other authors on FF.net.

music: Journey - "Send Her My Love"

(485 comments | Leave a comment)

Saturday, April 25th, 2009

This wank is like an absurdist comedy

bigi

Thanks to the mousie who posted this on

wank_report.

r_becca starts the Harry/Ginny fic exchange

takingitinturns. Things go well for the most part, despite a small kerfluffle during the exchange over reviews.*

As it turns out, that would not be the last review wank this exchange would see.

almond_joyz posts When You Figure Out You, Come Back to Me as a gift to another participant. The fic receives positive reviews until

deadwoodpecker adds her two cents in a rather patronizing manner.

Highlights include her telling the author that their fic - a dramatic story - was an absolutely hilarious "absurdist comedy" and then finishing with this:

And that "ending"! To be honest, I've gotten lazy about endings as well. After writing 30 chapters of Yellow Submarine, I pretty much threw in the towel and said "no more." I think that in another month or two - when you aren't so burnt out - you'll probably find that your little story needs a resolution.

almond_joyz responds in a calm fashion, explaining it was not a comedy and that she is happy with the fic as is.

Then three of

deadwoodpecker's friends decided to add their critical reviews, one after another, each pointing out the same flaws in the story.

birlan even goes so far as to delete a prior positive review to the fic and repost his review pointing out the same flaws his friends did.

Another of

deadwoodpecker's friends,

mhersheybar, coincidentally decides to post a rant about the right to leave concrit before anyone reacts. In this post,

deadwoodpecker decides it would be a good idea to mock the story and

almond_joyz shows up to tell her off. Sadly, mhersheybar decided to disable comments but if anyone has a screencap, it would be much appreciated. IIRC it involved deadwoodpecker showing up just to post *gives erotic massage to paralyzed girl* and LOLing about it.

Elsewhere on the internets, Deadwoodpecker and friends are called assholes,

almond_joyz flips her shit and

deadwoodpecker decides to mock the author and

r_becca some more while gearing up for a flounce.

Finally, Deadwoodpecker tries to explain herself. She was just being honest, you guys. And the old guard in H/G is oppressing the newbs.

* I mention the early kerfluffle because

deadwoodpecker was suspected of being behind the review, according to her. Edit: Or because it was a rumor going around!

ETA: The plot thickens...?

ETA II: More history! A while back, after

deadwoodpecker and her friends swept the H/G awards,

almond_joyz decided to hold her own awards.

And thanks to

mariem_1 for the files of

deadwoodpecker mocking the fic.

ETA III: More history still!

deadwoodpecker had a discussion with

loony4lupin during the

hp_porninthesun fest. This was over the fest rules which

deadwoodpecker assumed singled her out personally.

loony4lupin is also the person whose fic was mentioned above as having been trashed by an anonymous reviewer with

deadwoodpecker being the suspect.

Thanks, mice!

(689 comments | Leave a comment)

Monday, January 19th, 2009

"Ewwww, boobies are TEH EVOL!!"

sarajayechan

More feminism wank on Fandom Secrets. Surprise surprise!

This time, the secret is about female fanservice.

monpetitpetaq claims that no matter how well-rounded and awesome the female characters in Bleach are, their awesomeness is negated by their large breasts because female fanservice harms real life women somehow. (Well, I can see the huge boobs being a problem for one's back...)

Anon tries to argue that both forms of sexism are equally bad, but

monpetitpetaq and

paperclipchains aint buying it.

Also apparently female fanservice is "icky" but male fanservice is ZOMG YUMMY!!!! And

panzer_knight adds to the "big boobs = sucky character" pile. Huh, maybe it's just me but I can't remember the episode or manga chapter where Rukia, Tatsuki and Soifon had huge knockers spilling out of their swimsuits. XD

mood: *thud*

(226 comments | Leave a comment)

Friday, August 29th, 2008

And the Twilight Wank Saga continues with an author flounce...

ilya

As a lot of you must know by now, the first 12 Chapters of Midnight Sun, Smeyer's addition to her Uh-may-zing boooookes was leaked on the internet several days ago, and this has chagrined her dazzle verily.

From her official website:

August 28, 2008 (part II)

As some of you may have heard, my partial draft of Midnight Sun was illegally posted on the Internet and has since been virally distributed without my knowledge or permission or the knowledge or permission of my publisher.

I have a good idea of how the leak happened as there were very few copies of Midnight Sun that left my possession and each was unique. Due to little changes I made to the manuscript at different times, I can tell when each left my possession and to whom it was given. The manuscript that was illegally distributed on the Internet was given to trusted individuals for a good purpose. I have no comment beyond that as I believe that there was no malicious intent with the initial distribution.

I did not want my readers to experience Midnight Sun before it was completed, edited and published. I think it is important for everybody to understand that what happened was a huge violation of my rights as an author, not to mention me as a human being. As the author of the Twilight Saga, I control the copyright and it is up to the owner of the copyright to decide when the books should be made public; this is the same for musicians and filmmakers. Just because someone buys a book or movie or song, or gets a download off the Internet, doesn't mean that they own the right to reproduce and distribute it. Unfortunately, with the Internet, it is easy for people to obtain and share items that do not legally belong to them. No matter how this is done, it is still dishonest. This has been a very upsetting experience for me, but I hope it will at least leave my fans with a better understanding of copyright and the importance of artistic control.

So where does this leave Midnight Sun? My first feeling was that there was no way to continue. Writing isn't like math; in math, two plus two always equals four no matter what your mood is like. With writing, the way you feel changes everything. If I tried to write Midnight Sun now, in my current frame of mind, James would probably win and all the Cullens would die, which wouldn't dovetail too well with the original story. In any case, I feel too sad about what has happened to continue working on Midnight Sun, and so it is on hold indefinitely.

I'd rather my fans not read this version of Midnight Sun. It was only an incomplete draft; the writing is messy and flawed and full of mistakes. But how do I comment on this violation without driving more people to look for the illegal posting? It has taken me a while to decide how and if I could respond. But to end the confusion, I've decided to make the draft available here (at the end of this message on the Midnight Sun page). This way, my readers don't have to feel they have to make a sacrifice to stay honest. I hope this fragment gives you further insight into Edward's head and adds a new dimension to the Twilight story. That's what inspired me to write it in the first place.

I do want to take a moment and thank the wonderful fans who have been so supportive of me over the past three years. I cannot begin to tell you how much each of you means to me. I only hope this note will stop all the confusion and online speculation so that the Twilight universe can once again become the happy escape it used to be. After this incredibly busy year, I am now focusing on spending more time with my family and working on some other writing projects.

--Stephenie

I don't think I need to add much more than that. Lol. This is so bloody beautiful...Oh Smeyer...please to be going over there to cry upon your pile of ill-begotten millions. We all know that that book is going to be finished and published eventually so that you can add to your dragon hoard of booty.

Who else thinks that she's just waaaaahing for the sympathy and threatening to not provide any more crack so that everyone can forget about the epic fail that was Breaking Dawn and start kissing her ass again? *raises hand*

Edit:

And we get reactions from the Amazon Boards and the ♥ TwiMoms ♥. The ONTD comm weighs in on the situation.

And the NuttyMadam reacts. Though sorry, there's no vid this time since she took it down. But here, have a transcription of the lost vid, courtesy of

aegflota

We are all a bunch of meanies hiding away in this little club house of ours.

Smeyer Ego stroking.

Bonus Snack: The Twimoms just cannot leave the poor boy alone!. There's wankiness in the second link, as the TwiMom in the picture appears and asks for her photo to be taken down. Also, Here is a step by step instruction manual on how to go about your Pretty Vampire Actors stalking, for you n00bs who have no idea how to go about it. It is illustrated and everything. The TwiMoms are nothing, if not thorough.

OH NOES YOU GUISE! They be calling the FBI on us!!! WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO?

Twilight is going to save our country from the evil lesbians so you'd better all stop dissing it!

Cleolinda Midnight Sun Commentary! Yay. Lol.

ETA:How do you gain respect for your much derided favorite author? Why, by starting an online petition for it, of course!

(2761 comments | Leave a comment)

Tuesday, August 26th, 2008

Tired of Steph Meyer's wank yet?

aeka

Once upon a time in the magical land of YouTube, there was a Scottish Youtuber who got bored one night . Turning on her camera and pressing the record button, she sat on her arse to praise the latest work of the almighty Stephenie Meyer, the next best thing since JK Rowling.

She was rather stout with a squared jaw and rectangular shaped eyes. Her hair was a silky brown in colour, straight and thin, shining under her lantern's light. After a few seconds of nasty glares and emo stares, our Scottish Youtuber goes on to make her announcement of just how disappointed she is with fans; going on to patronise the whole fanbase on just how pathetic they really are, not realising the irony of her statements.

Quoth she in a patronising tone while staring closely into the camera:

"How can you act like this? After reading that amaaaaaaazing book, not shit! not boring! not glorified fanfiction, A-MAAZING BOOK! I'ma say it real clear: A-MA-ZING BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK! You've been waiting for what? A year? And you've been thinking of how wonderful it's going to be, and DYING to get your hands on it, cause it's going to be soooo good! And then you complain about it? Because it's not what you wanted?

She briefly blew a small gust of wind into her hair, so as to keep her bangs from falling further into her eyes.

"Since when do you get what you want by complaining, you ungrateful little turd?" she enquires with a tone of anger in her voice "Yeah, I'm talking to you! You who is watching this! If you have ever complained about Breaking Dawn because it wasn't what you wanted it to be: I'ma just go this real slow for you, because your brain obviously isn't working right now, because you're being STUPID thinking that its not very good anyway, okay?

"Number One: Stephenie Meyer is a GENIUS! Ya-HA, Ya-HA, okay? She rocks! She wrote Twilight, she wrote New Moon, she wrote Eclipse and you loved them!"

Not even going halfway through her video, her fellow viewers stopped and said:

"Fat FAT FAT FAT You are fat."

Another said:

"Please tell me, why all the Twilight fans are stupid, fat girls?"

And another:

"I think YOU'RE overreacting. You couldn't pay me to read that shit again. Maybe one day you'll develop literary taste and you'll realize how godawful Breaking Dawn was -- no, how godawful EVERY book after Twilight was, and that srs bsns people like you have been acting as Stephenie Meyer's cash cows for the past 3 years. Smeyer's sun tanning on her yacht right now that YOU helped pay for, laughing her ass off at the teenies who believe whatever bullshit she spoonfeeds them."

But best of all. one said:

"THIS. ISN'T. SPARRRRTAAAAA!
You're allowed to have your opinion. The 'haters' are allowed to have theirs.
Deal with it. Stop being so insane over a book.
Y SO SRS BSNS? "

But fortunately to her support one kind soul said:

"I personally loved the book! Although I do think that weather people loved it or hated it they should be able to share their opinions, I do have a problem with people who take it to ridiculous extreems. I hope that after a while things will cool down and everyone can just get over all this drama. I loved all the books and will just try to ignore all the negative feedback. Also, coming from an American I would just like to say that Fuckwit is the most awesome swear word I have ever heard.lol!"

Like the broken clock that used to tick next to me, the vast majority of commentors just went "wankity-wank, wankity-wank, wankity-wank-wank" and occasionally one with a high enough level of oestrogen would go "squee-squee-squee, squeekity sqee! with joy! at the girl who defended Stephie and her literary classics!"

This goes on for a while as tradition has it, and then along came an anonymouse to report the wankage at

wank_report

I'm ready for my award now for best break-through narrative of 2008.

[EDIT]:Oh yes, I forgot to point out that like the big bad wolf, this one also huffs and puffs, but didn't succeed in blowing down the house. But she did however manage to have a sadgasm somewhere in between her huffing and her acid trip when Renessme(sp?) supposedly gave her "visions". She also stated that "real vampires poop and wee on you", assuming of course she has come across real ones in her lifetime, and they didn't actually pop out of Stephenie Meyer's books during her state of emotional high. Thank you anonymous!

(1060 comments | Leave a comment)

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008

Reviews are MEEEAN and Sekrit Concrit! And totally NOT for the readers! Part LXXXIV

pyratejenni

Meet

kyuuketsukirui. She writes reviews for SGA on her LJ , and recently reviewed a bunch of stories on

mcshep_match.

kyuuketsukirui commits the unpardonable fandom sin of saying she's disappointed in the latest

mcshep_match stories and will be posting her reviews soon.

Meet

lamardeuse. She doesn't approve of

kyuuketsukirui's disappointment in the stories or her reviews and says so. Many people agree with her, in the process confusing concrit and reviews.

kyuuketsuikirui shows up to politely disagree.

lamardeuse and her friends don't respond well.

darkrose brings in a bit of Earth logic, but it's not enough to leaven out the massive amount of Unclear On the Concept, alas.

So

kyuuketsukirui writes a post clarifying her position on reviews and reviews of fanfic and fandom.

zillah975 makes a post about this whole civility/reviews/concrit situation, including a thread in which

anatsuno laments that life on the Nice Side ain't all it's cracked up to be.

telesilla does a post too.

No responses from

lamardeuse and friends. At least, not publically. That wouldn't be civil, after all.

ETA: Supposedly

lamardeuse was responding to

lavvyan, though

kyuuketsukirui's post seems to have been the back-breaking straw.

(236 comments | Leave a comment)

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

Twilight fandom dramatic departures

moonlit_diva

The ever wanky Twilight fandom has finally exploded.

It stared off with the usual batch of hate secrets which no one really looks twice at anymore, but then things heated up when

inksplotched made an disgustingly attention whoring announcement of her departure from the fandom and her crony

__dittany followed her shortly.

The anons did not approve.

As if that wasn't obnoxious enough, they two of them proceeded to STICK AROUND and wank even harder at various anons.

But that is not all. She was then echoed by

fallenmelody in her spazzy announcement.

Some of

inksplotched's cronies jumped into the wank and made total asses of themselves, as can be seen in the comments I linked to.

ETA: Many of the secrets occurred because of now deleted wank which took place in

sortofbeautiful when

aromarcuscaius created the community

realtw_secret. This community annoucement set off a bucket-load of wank when anons starting going off on the

ontd_twilight mods for what may or may not be accurate accusations of assholery and god-modding.

ETA 2: Please see secrets number 9, 43, and 50 to see what started her off on her diatribe (#50 refers to a friendship community she apparently runs with her friends).

ETA 3: And also note the explosion of

ontd_twatlight. They seem to be twatting all over the secrets, in the anons, and have several long comment threads (

foutu aka the shining star/twat/anus of the Twilight fandom also made an appearance.)

(447 comments | Leave a comment)

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

Fail mods are failing

sepiamagpie

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.

PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

mood: repentant

(258 comments | Leave a comment)

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

Let me show you them!

ara

Wild

optimusprime appeared! Wild

optimusprime used grudgewank!

fandom_wank used Mock! Wild

optimusprime's defense dropped harshly!

Wild

optimusprime used selfdestruct!
Wild

optimusprime fainted!

fandom_wank gained 2342 EXP!

fandom_wank gained a level!

~~I have the original f_w thread in another window and can take screenshots if someone can host 'em.~~ Some caps over here, provided by

worstangel.

ETA: UH OH!
Wild

optimusprime appeared! Again!
COMMAND?

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Wednesday, February 13th, 2008

Laptopgate II: Now With Added Condos

allthat_jas

As an offshoot of the Lexicon wank, it appears Melissa wank has arrived.

As part of her "impartial" coverage of the lawsuit, Melissa Anelli of TLC apparently felt it necessary to qualify Steve Vander Ark's (signed under oath) statement that the advertising on the Lexicon "covers the cost of running the site" by reminding people that "The Leaky Cauldron houses and runs the Harry Potter Lexicon for zero charge, and has since it came under its current domain name. That is true as of this posting." However, on Feb 11 she admits to denying a request for the transfer of hosting.

This prompts SVA to release more detail than anyone wanted to know about the finances of the Lexicon. Quote: "If there was any income to me, it wasn't much, especially by comparison to the income other websites have earned." The "other website" he specifically mentions is MuggleNet, whose owner claims a "six-figure income" from the site. SVA doesn't mention TLC, but Melissa goes crazy.

A bit of digging reveals that TLC's finances have been discussed before over on I was a Leaky Lounge Mod. In May 2007, a mouse says: "I know for a fact that Melissa used Leaky money to buy herself a new laptop." In September 2007, Gina raised suspicions about who paid for Melissa's New York apartment ("the web provides a TON of information about purchase prices of condos which are pretty darn high to not have jobs *koff koff*") Over Sep/Oct 2007 the subject was raised again, and another mouse said:

"To take Melissa as the main example, as has been pointed out she lives in New York. That place is very expensive, not just real estate but the cost of living as well. She is in no way living off the advance on her book because let's face it, even if all her fangirls and boys buy it it's not going to be a huge best seller. The time has been and gone for that. She has left her full time job and therefore she must be taking at least a 5-6 figure salary from Leaky. If she is doing this and has deliberately registered it in a way that doesn't mean full disclosure, then that is appalling."

The matter was pretty much put to rest until Melissa forced SVA's hand. Ex-staff are pissed. Highlights:

There will continue to be no transparency about Leaky income. They've claimed for far too long that they make no money. I can only say that I actually know this to be total BS. I'd love to tell you my proof, alas I'm not able. Steve threw some stones but Melissa opened a door that, IMHO, that now begs the question of well, so, what DOES Leaky earn then?

and:

Since Melissa is bringing up money herself, she really should answer. If she is going to criticize Steve for trying to make this a full time job that she should be above that same criticism.

Arianhrod marches over to Leaky Lounge with this:

But since it doesn't appear that anyone else is going to ask the logical question, I will.

Just how much does Leaky make from all of this--in profit? Is this considered a hobby by the IRS, or is it a major source (or even sole source) of income?

And before anyone questions my audacity, Melissa has laid it out on the line and brought the subject of hosting and ad revenue costs into the open. It's no longer a private matter--the whole world now knows about it and as such this is a valid question, especially if TLC has been or gets dragged into this lawsuit.

I don't expect an answer--I do expect to get ripped to shreds, and that's fine. But at least I'm not afraid to ask.

Melissa ignores the question. Arianhrod calls her on it ("With all due respect, Melissa, that is avoiding the issue.") Melissa gets defensive.

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Saturday, February 2nd, 2008

In which a gunpla nut has a Randy Marsh moment.

allenwalker

Ah,

gundam00. A place where the gay mecha porn lovers of livejournal can unite and burble about stupid sexy Lockon in ~~*peace and harmony*~~! Right? RIGHT? Well, you're wrong!

Mod

bucue posts a poll asking the members who their favorite Gundam meister is, and all seems to be going swimmingly.

arsons makes a comment to another user, and our oh-so-gracious mod gives her a warning -- not because she said anything inflammatory, but because her icon just happens to contain the N-word.

And things just go downhill from there.

The post is locked to members only, but I managed to save the post here. Will edit with relevant threads in a bit!

mood: Spiffy

music: south park

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Tuesday, August 14th, 2007

Face the facts: your movie sucks

photosinensis

There's nothing in the world more painful than a Uwe Boll movie. Nothing. You could be sitting in the emergency room with an exploded appendix, a 12 cm kidney stone, and going into labor--all at the same time--and at least comfort yourself with the fact that you're not watching one of his movies.

Of course, that doesn't stop him.( Teal Deer editorializing under the cut. )

Still, I'm waiting for the day when Mr. Boll realizes that nobody outside his family likes his movies and takes his toys and goes away in a huff.

ETA: Wow, I went over the top there. I must remember not to post wanks until after I've slept.

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Monday, October 17th, 2005

Trigun Smut, Tattoos, and Hilter Lemon, Oh My!

lonesomepudding

This is just a GAFF baby wank. It looks to be pretty much over, but I thought the absurdity was too funny not to share.

It starts when Ouchthathurt posts a fic snark in New Releases. All is well for several days, with interested GAFFers providing the usual snark and "pass the bleach" comments.

Rabid Badger mentions another Trigun smutfic, a somewhat famous one in which Wolfwood rapes Meryl with guns. Again, the usual "I know that fic! Aauugh! Run away!" comments from GAFFers. Again, all is the usual snarking-in-peace that goes on on GAFF.

Then, evilmouse, the author of the Wolfwood rapes Meryl with guns fic shows up to say "OMG, you meanies! How dare you judge my fetishes or my right to fanfic them?!" Complete with a copy of an e-mail she made to Rabid Badger.

Then, the real fun begins.

Flying Skull proceeds to tell evilmouse that she wishes for her to get gangraped by several large, smelly men. "May you be raped and not once; may you be gang-raped by lots of 'HAWT UNTAMED EROTICA' seeking males for at least a month."

This is followed by Ouchthathurt tearing apart evilmouse's post, followed by evilmouse tearing apart her comments with psuedo-intellectual babble about how anyone should be able to do anything they want with fanfiction without being criticised for it (evilmouse apparently completely misses the point of GAFF, not to mention the point that some of the other posters there were trying to make about real rape being a distinctly different thing than "romance rape.")

FlyingSkull makes allegations that evilmouse, despite presenting herself as a female, is actually a man playing pretend, and again with the "I hope you're gang raped!"

BarnabasFrid comes along with the classic "Don't liek, don't reeeeed!" defense that is the staple of many fangirls. She praises evilmouse as as having "stellar" writing skills, and proceeds to take the thread off topic by explaining how she wrote a Dark Shadows fanfic in which a character who normally would never say "fuck" says "fuck" and talks about how she based her entire fanfic on that premise. She accuses GAFF of being childish, complete with an invoking of Snacky's Law.

And BF plugs her upcomming Hitler lemon! Oh joy!

PixeBob says in response "If you were truly a fan of the these characters, you wouldn't be twisting them around making them do things they wouldn't actually do."

BF takes offense and responds with "Of course I'm a true fan! I'm fanner than you! I got tattoos of the character on my body!" complete with photographs of her tattoos, to OMG PROVE SHE'S FANNER THAN ALL OF US!!!

People snark, BF accuses GAFF of being bullies who are insecure with themselves. She/He/It proposes the game "Let's see who can shut up longer!"

Evilmouse calls FlyingSkull out on her desire to see her gang raped.

Everything sort of dies down with laughing at the trolls after that, though BF manages to get one last Adolf Hitler quote in.

(Sidenote to the few people who *might* remember me here: MillyFan/Ouchthat hurt and I are no longer buds. I feel no need to defend her anymore if anyone calls her out as wanky. However this is not grudewank. I don't think she's being wanky here, she just happened to be the originator of the thread).

I posted on the thread, though, at least so far, I'm not really involved in the wank - why I thought to post here instead of I_Wank. Please tell me right away if this thread should be moved there. Thank you.

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