Backstory: the ten-year-old Due South Canadian Shack meme is being revived. (You may know it better as the "trapped in a mountain cabin fanfic trope. But sexier. It's a sugar shack.) Why is it a Canadian shack? You'll recall that Constable Benton Fraser's actual home is a shack in the Territories. It's a nice place. So nice that it gets blown up, like, twice.

Anyway.

Staranise is not happy with this. "Shacks" is a bad, bad word for her. "Shacks" are what First Nations people live in. (Please note that reservation houses are often horrible because the Canadian Government is terrible to its people but that is another story.) They belong to poor people. They certainly aren't cabins. That's something entirely different.

She also has no idea what shacks even have to do with the thing she's complaining about. She reveals later on that she avoids Due South, and may be under the impression that the two cops in it are rich, because cops. But that's not going to stop her from having theories.

But the real problem is this: This meme will cause people to think that Canada is an unpopulated wilderness speckled with poor people and their shacks.

I have bad news for her about why she shouldn't worry what people think of Canada/Canadians: No one thinks about us period.

(Also: SHACKS. Better than igloos? y/n?)

Disclaimer: I posted a comment to this, to tell her where Benton lived. Then Ann talked me into posting this here.

Small, but quite delicious and bound to grow. It involves Bleachness and Yulieana, after all. Thank you, wank report mousies *feeds cheese*

Troll sends Kubo a comment saying that they wish Orihime was dead. Kubo gets angry. Bleachness records it, and stresses that he wasn't talking about them, only about trolls who say those horrible things about her. (As if they didn't say horrible things about her)

The Ichihime FC on BA picks up on it, and discusses Kubo standing up for Orihime... It also has a translation of Kubo's (pretty awesome) smackdown of the Orihime-bashing troll.

Yulieana picks up on this and makes a post, which draws its complaints not from BA but from locked comm FLOL.

And Bleachness keeps rolling! ETA: And rolling! And rolliiiiiing!

Let's stay tunned to see how this goes on...

ETA 1: Grudgewank or not? You decide!

ETA 2: I'm glad I don't like hate comms!" Yeah, sure.

The first volume of William H. Patterson's biography of Robert Heinlein is released today, but the scuffle over it is already a week old.

This is approximately the millionth Heinlein biography to hit the shelves, so perhaps it is a bit difficult to see why it matters, but this underestimates the devotion of Heinlein nerds. Jo Walton, (papersky) published a review on Tor.com, in which although she says some nice things, she concludes:

Patterson’s biography is also riddled with tiny insignificant errors of the kind that make me lose trust. [...] If I can’t trust Patterson on details that I know backwards and forwards and inside out, how can I trust him on matters that are new to me?

A reasonable doubt!

( OR IS IT? )

There once was an archive for Yuletide
and when it died every other fool cried
stop thief
in erroneous belief
that their fics were about to go worldwide

( background )

( the set up )

( coda )

OH ETA: melodyclark is here to show us all that even older women like to wank like horny thirteen year olds, but if she doesn't give it a rest I'm worried she's going to go blind, develop hairy palms, AND come down with a raging case of carpal tunnel syndrome.

thanks to inquisition for the heads up.

eta 3.1415 The abyss is looking into us... and it's fucking stupid. :D

bonus lulz: tzikeh point out to me that melodyclark tried to edit her fanlore page.

( text for anyone who can't or doesn't want to load fanlore )

Meet Lironess, a person of such stunning perfection that she feels confident, nay obliged, to point out the shortcomings of others. Constantly.

When she's not diagnosing diseases over the internet, she's apparently advocating approaching strangers at cons with skin diseases to ask them:

"OMG What the hell is wrong with your skin?"

Yeah, not even kidding*.

Unfortunately no one told betnoir that icky diseased people exist solely as teaching moments for the beautiful people, and that she better learn to live with it or else spend the rest of her life in misery. Luckily for her then, that lironess is here to explain it to her.

The spat lands in sf_drama, where lironess baleeted her most offensive comments (though considering what's left - just WOW) and apparently whole threads if bizarro goodness like handing out condoms to furries, and horse sex, and her inability to spell freak. she then demonstrates her utter lack of getting teh internets, as well as proving that there really isn't a maximum fail quota per post.

After calling like, everyone, a coward or accusing them of hiding (for commenting in an unlocked post in a very public community? huh?) lironess prepares her flounce by calling betnoir (and everyone else) out. As in, *cue scareh music* she can FIND people:

"It has been fun to watch you all hide on a community and make your statements thinking I would not see and reply. However, I can find all of you, any where."

betnoir names a place and time.

but yanno, it's waaaay to far, plus it'd be a hassle and betnoir's fucking parents would sue and it would be a big mess and lironess doesn't care enough to bother. Or something.



*I debated if this should be in UNF because disability!fail = so fucking unfunny, plus there's bonus!fail on both sides, but for sheer overwhelming WTF wankiness I think it belongs here.

Snapefen are still wanking about Lily Evans Potter. terri_testing posted an essay More on Lily's behavior in SWM: Lily the Prefect? on Snapedom. An excerpt from this essay:
( Read more )

Batshit flourishes in the comments:
( Read more )

Once upon a time there was Kia, aka Angelica Caprice aka absintheminded aka kiastar67 aka AyahuascaDreams, a Wincest-shipping self-professed vegetarian vampire who feels she has been persecuted on the internets.

No, seriously.

Kia's problems with the internets started on buzznet.com, where some of her statements were brought into question. For example, there's the bit where she said the show Supernatural promotes factual interpretations of paganism and paranormal whatnot. (Her posts were deleted, but the bulk of them remain as quotes in other people's posts. Watch for kiastar67 or absintheminded.)

Also, she found herself the subject of mockery for discussing her vampiric and/or sanguinarian leanings. In a Question of the Day post about vampires, Kia took a question about the vampire bill of rights seriously:

Yes, it is called the Black Veil! It was written a while back by a Sanguinarian from House Kheperu and COVICA . It is a code of Ethics for the Vampire/ Vampyre/ Sanguinarian community!

And, when prodded further, proceeded to claim that author Charlaine Harris is secretly promoting the sanguinarian agenda.

Well, I'm SURE no one here knows exactly where she got it or her EXACT meaning or purpose.

And then, as if realizing she was burying herself, decided to bury buzznet readers. In text.

WHAT? Hell NO! I learn from YOU GUYS daily! I know a little about nothing. Its just called being sick and stuck so reading too much(until I ruined my eyes) and being, like that Astor Roth(?) song about college says,"can't i just stay in college? That's what I did...professional student. Also a weird assed childhood. LOLAnyway...I know THIS because I have been a Sang before they came "out of the coffins and into the light" of the media and books. There are some Sanguinarians and Swans on Buzznet but I would never out them (don't worry guys) That is just "being discreet" which is part of the Black Veil. They will speak if they feel comfortable. People do NOT want to speak out because of certain books or stereotypes (remember what you guys said about OTHER stereotypes before laughing about this) Hell yes you can have sex without that. Blood play is a dangerous thing nowadays and donors (swans) are screened and taken care. In blood-letting or "feeding' they do say it is best to separate sex and that aspect. You can take life force through many ways (energy vampyres) and even those that think they can take only through blood can get it through sex Prana and Chakras (separate from the blood) It is VERY dangerous if people do not know what they are doing,the person and what they might have , how to take it without infection or hurting the donor. It is NOT something I would suggest! Sex (if you are an adult I will say because i am being official) is great for energy work as the energy from this is IMMENSE when done properly to TAKE Prana! If a Sanguinarian tells you they can turn into a bat, live forever, not go out in the sun(some don't do well in DIRECT sunlight) and things like that...run.They are nutters! Did that help?

And then gets into an argument over whether or not she said vampires were sanguinarians, or whether or not she knows psychic vampire sanguinarians, or . . . Yeah. It goes on for just about ever.


Things stayed quiet for a little bit. Then, on November 19th, tumblr user focahontas posted a screencap of some of Kia's crazy. This post got reblogged by a few users, then by newageamazon, who added "Fun fact, folks: nobody cares if you wank to Wincest. But if you habitually make yourself look like an idiot in a public forum? That’s when people start to care."

Doing so, of course, was like throwing rocks at the proverbial beehive.

Kia responded by getting a little passive-aggressive on her twitter. She performed brilliant tactical ass-covering by cutting out letters of the names of people she felt had wronged her, thus rendering her invisible to the eye of the internets. No one ever saw her snarking against those internet meanies, or expressing at length her thoughts on her oppression.

Wait, that's not how it worked at all. Seriously, someone get this woman a livejournal. (Extra points for Godwin's, "I'm not anti-gay, I have gay friends," use of "feminist" as an insult, and a random PERSECUTION macro.)

Buzznet user bznetgossipgrl tried to inject sanity into the cause; Kia responded by ejecting a rainbow-tone dissertation all over her myspace. Dissenters shall be obliterated! Though . . . if you scroll down far enough on her myspace, you'll learn how to curse people in the name of the Father, Son, & Holy Spirit--you know, like they did in the Old Testament. Or how to summon your very own sex demon.

Her long-winded attacks on high-profile buzznet members--a mod included--eventually resulted in her being banned from buzznet. So, feeling extra-persecuted, Kia fired off a cease & desist to Buzznet staff. This cease & desist. Word for word. ETA: Original twitter links are gone, but other people are talking about it: 1 2 3 4 5


Kia's talking about internet lawyers and lawsuits. Some buzznet users are talking about Kia's talking about internet lawyers and lawsuits. I get the feeling this one's gonna be like C.S., only with more sex demons and possibly a tasty, tasty Sam/Dean center.

ETA 2--Holy Geometry, now we're speaking Sanguinarian!: Kia takes on Landover Baptist--yes, those guys.

Wow, people are very intolerant. Hey, that Ok, I will post the site on Buzznet and let people come and debate! I honestly doubt that any of you seriously know what a Sanguinarian is. Therefore, how can you speak on those people. Have you ever heard of the Yazidi people? I have a feeling 99.9% will say NO(even if they do worship angles) (...)

Also, her collegiate kid who's helping her start her hippietrancedojojuicebarclub was fourteen last year--but that's okay, she's a business-owning super-genius.

You make fun of people that are in need of med's? My daughter has Iritis and is 14 with a 170 IQ.She speaks Fluent Japanese and already has opened a business. She is slightly asthmatic and is on Coricoid steriods for a time. For the Iritis she takes eye drops. Even ON these meds she is 10 fold ahead of where you will ever be.She has apathy and compassion and offered her blood when her friend was in an accident,even though she is in deep fear of needles due to painful test. She is half Native American(her father and i are half) and also speaks 2 basically dead languages ,along with Latin and Sanguinese. \

ETA 3--She Comes From a Land Down Under (the ocean): Kia's people are from Atlantis.

Also, she knows more about "angles"--and everything else--than you do. Even if those biased close-minded Judeocentric meanies on the Supernatural boards don't believe her.

Well wait, first,these are olf Jewish "angles" and the kaball;ah is some serious S***. I have studied it for let's see, over 20 years ,and STILL have to keep many books to understand the higher issues ,KOS and HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT.
(...)
I have been dealing with magic, from vodoun, Palomayombe, Sanguinese (one you will NEVER see your entire life no matter what you do) Druidism, Paganism, most South American Animism and spirit believes,Enochian magic, Luciferianism,and so many many more since i was about 6. I own a magic gallery that sells items from antiquity some so rare we have found only one, many from dig sites, etc. Getting the picture? I grew up living with many different Indigenous peoples and learning culture and magic and it is sad when rubes like you have to put that down, can't understand.

And for the tasty Sam/Dean filling! You don't know Sam and Dean like she does, because of her cultural learnings. Wincest is okay because the Pharaohs did it, and because it's in the bible; and so, it's wrong for us to judge. I . . . I think I've been schooled, guys.

ETA 4--I'm on the internets, corruptin ur babeez: Either she's googling herself or has a myspace tracker; the f_wank post has been found. No matter her previous thoughts on being involved with internet drama, her response is as you might imagine: yet another endless twitter rant. Journalfen's users are losers and drama queens, and she knows her internet law. It looks like she's read my Strikethrough writeup and decided it means I'm a pedophile--and though she believes Wincest is all well and good, she feels her child is in danger from me. She also is pretty sure I'm Newageamazon. That's absurd. I'm caito. And tomorrow she plans to take this post and "show us the truth." I wonder if she can do it in tie-dye. Alas, no dice. But like the creepy mouthbreather hell-bent on handing their hardcore RPS fic to their fannish idol, we shall watch and wait.

Hang on to your hats, kids, this one's a doozy in several parts. To start off, you might want to catch up on agilebrit's clairvoyantwank writeup. Clairvoyant indeed! To sum up, romance publisher Harlequin Enterprises teamed up with a publisher called ASI solutions to form Harlequin Horizons, a vanity press. Romance Writers of America promptly revoked Harlequin's "recognized publisher" status.

And now for a wank in several parts, involving a goodly number of awesome people in addition to a wanking Cast of Thousands (tm):

( Part 1: PubRants )

( Part deux: various forums )

( Part Three: SBTB, and Nora Fucking Roberts )

( Part the last: The NEW YORKER?! )

And finally, THIS JUST IN from PubRants. Watch that post for further fappery developments! Notably, Harlequin has decided to dissociate the "Harlequin" name from their vanity publishing rig in response to the RWA slamming them, and the MWA has weighed in. ETA: And the wank has matured nicely! Here's a couple comments of note: Anon #1, Anon #2, "Harlequin, were not stupid" [sic].

And here come the ETAS!
#1: SFWA tweets a heads-up, and the glorious katamari of wank rolls on!

#2: Coutesy of magnolia_mama, Lee Goldberg drops his two cents from the MWA soapbox. In a shocking turn of events, he seems to be making a cogent, reasonable argument. My world is rocked.

#3: annathepiper links us to SFWA's statement, which is possibly the strongest yet! For a snippet:

...Further, SFWA believes that work published with Harlequin Horizons may injure writing careers by associating authors’ names with small sales levels reflected by the imprint’s lack of distribution, as well as its emphasis upon income received from writers and not readers....Until such time as Harlequin changes course, and returns to a model of legitimately working with authors instead of charging authors for publishing services, SFWA has no choice but to be absolutely clear that NO titles from ANY Harlequin imprint will be counted as qualifying for membership in SFWA. Further, Harlequin should be on notice that while the rules of our annual Nebula Award do not expressly prohibit self-published titles from winning, it is highly unlikely that our membership would ever nominate or vote for a work that was published in this manner....SFWA does not believe that changing the name of the imprint, or in some other way attempting to disguise the relationship to Harlequin, changes the intention, and calls on Harlequin to do the right thing by immediately discontinuing this imprint and returning to doing business as an advance and royalty paying publisher.

Count on the pew-pew lasers genre to bring the burn!

#4: Found by pariforma, someone named Jackie Kessler has an excellent (and amusing) summary of the whole mess on their blog. The pricing breakdown (with reference links to the Harlequin price-sheets themselves) is particularly well-done.

#5, which should be like #3 but I missed it the first time: via lady_ganesh, Mr. Scalzi has spoken. Does anyone else smell something...burning?

( Too Hot (and big) For Your Flist )

Mmm, PR barbecue. As a bonus, there's a lovely herd of teal deer in the comments, including some truly lovely wanking by one Diana Peterfreund and a few others. Scroll on through, it's a good time.

Blooper reel: We, uh, may have played a part in crashing SBTB for a while there. please don't kill meeeee

#6: Zoe Winters continues her wanking in the comments of an article at the Examiner. Thanks dreamworld!

Remember the last HP wank - Hermione Granger - Voldemort in the making? Here we have Episode II.

The OP in the previous wank terri_testing wrote a fanfic about Dumbledore's childhood. People in the comments started to argue with each other and wankery ensued.

marionros, who during the previous wank diagnosed Harry, Hermione, Dumbledore, the Twins, James and Sirius as psychopaths, insisted that Harry, Hermione and Dumbledore have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Lily also has NPD.

And what the heck, so does JKR herself.

My issues, let me show you them.

Snape is a victim of narcissist.

Hermione isn't intelligent and she has bad studying skills.

Pureblood prejudice is probably justified.

James was ever so evil.

JKR doesn't know Neville like I do.

Why did students hate Snape for insulting them? My teachers insulted me and I loved them!

Harry is like a suicide bomber and Dumbledore is like Osama bin Laden.

The whole Wizarding World is a cult, Dumbledore is a cult leader and Harry and Hermione are completely brainwashed.

Because of the Marauders' bullying Snape suffered from PTSD like Vietnam veteran, which justifies his treatment of Harry.

Snape was pressured into joining the Death Eaters.

You call my argument sick, but you find me hot!

A Slytherfan terri_testing writes an essay The Wizarding World and the Otherworld, where she argues that Harry Potter books are horror, not fantasy and that Hogwarts is like the school where the Native American children were brainwashed:

( Read more )

The essay provokes a chorus of "I agree"s and complaints about JKR's treatment of Snape:

mary_j_59 (see "Good night, sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!")

This is brilliant, Terri! And absolutely consistent. You know, my sister and I went to hear Rowling, Irving and King in NYC, and we both liked John Irving (reading from Owen Meany) best. Now the reason is clear. Rowling is actually a horror writer, like King, and I do not like horror. Still less do I like horror disguised as a children's fantasy quest. Irving, on the other hand, was writing in the great tradition of picaresque novels - a tragicomedy with a moral core.

But what I still wonder is: did (and does) Rowling know that she has actually written a dystopion/horror story? Somehow I don't think she realizes this.

condwiramurs/00sevvie

I second the 'brilliant' comment. And I highly doubt Rowling is aware of what she has actually written. She is too utterly blind to the reasons we like Severus, for example, to have any clue that she may have written something different from what her perfect picture of her work in her head is. I'm sure she thinks we're just getting it 'wrong.'

oryx_leucoryx (see Cry the Beloved Slytherins)

So if Severus Snape actually survived Nagini's bite, returned to the Muggle world and became some kind of counselor to delinquent youth or someone who runs an anti-bullying program (by working both with victims and perpetrators) he would be a hero with a rather protracted but complete journey? Starting out as the victim of neighborhood bullies (I doubt Petunia was the only one who knew that the strangely dressed kid was the Snape boy from Spinner's End) who must have dreamed that magic would solve his problems, learned that magic simply gave bullies more dangerous/'interesting' ways to hurt people, played a key role in getting rid of the biggest bully in the magical playground and came home to use non-magical ways against bullies?
***
bohemian_spirit has some fics in that general direction - in her 'Light Between the Cracks' series Severus Snape of canon years was secretly married to a Muggle school teacher and while at his Muggle home watched over the neighborhood children. And in her 'Professor Grunge' Severus immigrates to the US instead of joining the Death Eaters. He studies at a wizarding university and becomes a teacher who fights bullying and uses music to assist in magical healing.

But the real fun starts when night_train_fm decides to argue with terri_testing and says, among other things:

'Hermione exiling her parents to Australia'
She did that because she was terrified (with good reason) of the DEs coming after them: Voldemort was taking over the government, had already ordered several public mass-Muggle-killings, and anyone remotely connected to Harry was a potential target. According to Jo, Hermione reversed the spell ASAP once the threat was over. For that matter, is it ever outright stated that she didn't sit down and discuss it with them first?

That doesn't go well.

( Hermione is teh ebil! )

Lady Sybilla put out another press release. She also showed up at the Twilight Lexicon again, since that went so well the last time. (When the formatting gets hard to read, check it here.)

(Fanhistory links are all nofollow.)

After her Wikipedia article was deleted (you can go to the Russet-Noon webpage for more information), Lady Sybilla edited the shit out of the Russet Noon Fanhistory page all by her lonesome (despire Laura Hale asking around on Bebo whether anyone else had anything to contribute).

And in case your blog entry about the whole affair shows up there, I'm sorry. Lady Sybilla farmed the Russet Doom Supplementary Links Collection and changed my format a little to make the attention seem less wholly negative.

Oh also I put together an entry in my journal with links to screencaps and transcriptions and things, for quick and easy reference. 

For those just tuning in:

Lady Sybilla wanted to put out Russet Noon, her tribute sequel to the Twilight Saga via sockpuppet publisher. Smeyer never drew her characters, so this totally wasn't copyright infringement. She put out press releases, a Youtube reading, and listed her book on eBay months and months before she intended to make it available.

Then, of course, the "massive hate campaign" began. Darn Earth logic!

I myself wrote no less than four separate versions of a wank report, as I tried to keep on top of everything (and eventually lost my grip on sanity).

Lady Sybilla did not take this well. She pretend-banned the russet-noon site, taking down its former glory, then changed it to goad voyeurs.

And what did I get for my efforts? Emails from Lady Sybs herself.

Now she's put up a message directing us to the interview she did at a Brazilian fan site.

In the words of Stephenie Meyer, "When a story demands to be written, there's no way to resist."

Yes, Sybsy baby, and your story demands to be put down. Um, I mean the reports on you, not Russet Noon. Your tomfoolery must be chronicled for posterity the lulz.

But wait, there's more! Aaaaaaand she's back to writing press releases. It's the Foforks interview with this blurb at the end:

AV Paranormal Publishing is an independent publisher in the Los Angeles area. We publish online books, digital art and paperback novels. No unsolicited manuscript submissions are considered. We accept query emails with a short synopsis. Email your queries to submissions@avparanormal.com

O rly? Also the Twilight Lexicon is back to smacking her down. Kisses, kids!

And guess what just came up in my Google reader? This post by Karen Knows Best! Which led me to go and check...yes! Lee Goldberg is back on the case!

( Now for the tl;dr... )

In other news, I'm totally over this email business. I have a spam filter and I intend to use it. If someone wants to continue discussing this shiz, she can do so in the comments like everybody else.
ETA: Yes, we can haz more press release.

Dear Author is a genre book review blog and this Romance Novel review is hilarious all on its own. (Completely NWS excerpts are posted as part of the review.)

But some commenters get a little tetchy and accuse the reviewer of OMG HATING THE AUTHOR! It's fairly polite as wanks go. Then there are some faily arguments about whether or not the author is using racial caricatures or not. (note: that wasn't the funny part.)

Enter Stevie who tells everyone they are interpreting it all from the wrong perspective and their arguments wouldn't hold up in court. No really. And don't miss hir witty zingers there are near misses on both Godwin's and Snacky's laws which are tongue in cheek.

And yet Stevie refuses to see anyone's point about "gentleman's bathrooms".

Twisting the Hellmouth is a Buffy fan-fic site mostly for crossover stories. Awards are given by popular demand in different categories.

JoeHundredair, who is apparently a moderator on this site, decided a winning story written by mrmiklos contained too many grammatical errors and spelling mistakes… that the story was “sufficiently bad to prevent the majority of readers in enjoying the story”, and so quarantined it.
The reasoning:
After reading the start of 'Sunnydale Berserker' by MrMiklos, I sent him a review suggesting he acquire a beta because as an award winner, I felt his story should reflect a far higher quality of work than it did. In other words, we voted it the best, so it should be better than other stories on the site... right?

Upon further review, JoeHundredair and other moderators say ‘just kidding’ and decide the grammar/writing isn’t really that bad. However, the story was not properly classified as a ‘multiple crossover story’ when it was submitted to the site, and awards are not given to “multiple crossover” stories. So TtH removed the award from MrMiklos; a second author, Marcus Rowland, also has his award stripped for the same reason.

Marcus Rowland handles this with some grace.

mrmiklos does not, and flounces off.

Only he doesn't fully flounce off, but sticks around to fight some more.

JoeHundredair continues to comment back, with CAPSLOCK to EMPHASIZE some POINTS. Abuses of power and vedetta abound.
Ignotus, a commentator, tries to keep perspective:
You know, this reminds me of something that I saw happen at my local library the other day. That situation was resolved quite easily... the mother took the kid home.

Wank continues.

Edited to make links work, hopefully.

Spinning Spinsters decides to write an essay about how fan culture is highly conservative, and bolsters and propagates male supremacist ideas.

People in the comments seem to agree with her and thank her for having opened their eyes to how they're really just serving The Man by writing about guys getting on it.

But wait! Is such blanket approval natural? Not in the least.

As soon as she starts getting disagreements that are pro-slash, she deletes them on the grounds that such defenses can be found anywhere. She also refuses to link to any examples because it'd be unhelpful/too much work, and characterizes most femmeslash stories as being like lesbian pornography.

For bonus points, she apparently also has the power to edit comments if they talk about women in unacceptable ways. Though it's okay to say that on House, 'the women on that show are so lousy, either shrews or sex objects or both', so I'm curious as to what she doesn't find acceptable.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to serve The Man.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Fanficrants again. And yet, not a single thought on yaoi in sight. Instead, we have emmabrock posting a review she got on a recent story of hers, as you do. However, the fanfic review -- the fandom for which is never even mentioned -- is really secondary to the real purpose of emmabrock's post, which is: Homeschooling!

The wank wastes no time, as emmabrock helpfully shares some of her, "ah, research," by which she means googling for homeschooling vs. publicschooling wankbait. Helpfully, she posts some of her results, which 'prove' that homeschoolers regard public-schoolers as barely one step above microbes.

So, are public-schoolers illiterate, drooling retards, or are home-schoolers surly, elitist, socially malformed trolls? Judging by some of the responses to emmabrock's post, I don't see why both can't be right:

( Some, but not all, of the wank below... )

"Intelligent, reasonable, and open-minded?"

lawl.

Well, apparently the mods at least aren't open-minded enough, because emmabrock promptly gets banned for editing her post. And then unbanned a little later because she might not actually have edited her post, maybe. Oh, well, as long as we're clear on what we're doing and why.

Comments devolve into "My Thoughts On Education" on the second page off the FFR post with no new comment thread kerfluffles to show for it, but in the meantime the wank moves to a reaction post on fanficrantsrants, where people are shocked I say, just shocked irritated by the mod's overreaction.

In vergil_fangirls, rosiesintherain posts:

I know I'm going to be stomped with flames and insults for asking, but why exactly do people like Dante/Vergil?

It's something I never understood. I understand people appreciating the brotherly (FAMILY) love between them. The fact that they're so different and would definately be willing to kill each other, but they can't bring themselves to completely hate each other. Lady and Arkham had that too. Despite all the horribly things that Arkham had done to both her and others, she was still saddened when she killed him. Same with Dante. Despite what Vergil had done to him and was planning on doing to the world, when he left the human world forever, he was saddened by that too.

I don't find it romantic in the least and I don't understand why people try to make it out to be. I don't think someone can completely hate their family member, and DMC3 decided to play on that. And it's fairly obvious that Dante likes women. He hits on almost all the DMC girls, has naked pictures of women in his office, and totally got a boner the moment he saw Nevan. I don't think he's ever done that around Vergil.

Plus.... they're brothers. That's just sick.

So since there seems to be quite a lot of twincest fans here, I'd like to hear what they have to say. It confuses me when people dislike Dante/Trish because Trish is a clone of his mother, but turn around and say that two brothers fucking is hot.

Just curious.

( YAY WANK! )

ETA: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE GODWIN.

This is not the Starbuck's of wank.* It's a bitter re-heated brew, percolated with the stagnant grounds of yesteryear.

Andrew Burt is the VP of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer's Association of America. ( Some pixel-stained technopeasant wretches are less than pleased by his leadership. )

Damage control was done. The e-piracy committee was disbanded. A committee was put together in order to figure out what to replace the old piracy committee with... And lo, the SFWA was graced with a new improved exactly the same damn thing.

There was much rejoicing, in the sense that "rejoicing" means "bitterness" and "more disillusionment".

How would Andy top that? Why, by entering the race for SFWA president.

Thus commences a largely one-sided dogpiling. Highlights include discussion of the Dunning-Kruger effect and a 300 macro.

[ETA via hopefulnebula] Campaign poster macros are great justice!

[Late ETAS for completion's sake on the off chance someone checks back again, which if nobody does is a pity because this stuff contains at least twice the funny.]
"Greetings, gentlebeings!"
Burty supporters defile Earth Logic.
George R.R. Martin weighs in.
Burt as Walter Mitty.
MST3King ahoy!

And now, the raisins d'être, what makes this stale wank fresh again, via the Whatever with a tip of the hat to our lovely nonnymice: The Flickr group.

But wait... The son of the bride of the ETA strikes again
Burt announces that television is a dangerous threat to writers everywhere, as it gives away content for free and often does not involve white scientists having vanilla 1950s-style sex with their 20-year-old coquettish assistants while infodumping about math. He subsequently declares war upon the Writers Guild of America.


* I'm weak. One can only wait so long for RDR updates...
& ETA 'coz I can't spell at 7 AM.

Musical wank? On my birthday? Oh internets, you're so good to me.

It all starts out on stupid_free, where someone posts a bit of stupid related to evyltemptryss spamming comms about her friend's Rent audition.

This prompts musikbox to make a (sadly now deleted) comment about how much she hates Rent, apparently because she just discovered that it's, like, a total ripoff of Puccini's La Boheme. And also that it's not classical enough or something.

When people point out the lots of popular entertainment is based on adaptations, that's okay because she hates those too. And Rent sucks because there aren't enough special effects in it.

Don't worry guys, she knows because of her learnings.

She also happens to be a big Phantom fangirl, and insists that Phantom is the better musical because "Phantom singers have to have alot more skill vocally because it's a really tough score to sing, so many sharps, flats, and high notes."

Never actually seen Rent or La Boheme, but HER MOM KNOWS SOMEONE AT THE MET U GUYZ.

yes, I know everything about Rent because jee, I've heard the music.

Then dindin posts the whole thing as a meta-stupid, which leads to more wank about how she implied everyone who likes animation is childish.

*blows out candles*