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Edit: The consensus was that this wasn't funny. Sorry about that. I obviously made an error in judgment yesterday. Also, some people said this was triggering/upsetting with regards to bi/homophobia, so be warned.

Edit 2: holy shit. That's a nice painting.

(For the record, I do rather kind of love Stephen Fry. But really Stephen.)

The illustrious Mr. Stephen Fry, writer, actor, comedian, famous twitter-er, friend to Hugh Lauries everywhere, object of fans on multiple continents, is interviewed by some obscure magazine, and his (admittedly bizarre) interview is re-printed on the internet. Said 'net dogpiles him on being misogynist and stereotyping and generally backward in his views on gender and sex and possibly some kind of baby-eating, puppy-kicking Nazi (I won't bother trying to gather together all of that clusterfuck because it would take years. Plenty on Twitter and a nice selection in the comments on that reprint). I leave it up to you, dear readers, to judge the contents of said interview. *ahem*

Well then.

So, Mr. Fry quits twitter. That's the end of it, right? I mean, certainly he's smart enough to just keep out of the spotlight for a while until this shitstorm blows over and everyone forgets about it and goes back to laughing at their old DVDs of Jeeves & Wooster, right?

Well, not really, since he must come back to explain himself in what may be the most beautiful 4-page flounce I have ever read in my life. Well, you can't accuse him of having a narrow vocabulary, at any rate.

I'm sympathetic (to a point), but really? "None of you understand me! The media misquotes me! I'LL NEVER DO PRINT INTERVIEWS AGAIN!"

Oh dear. At least he does it in an entertaining manner...

ETA: Okay, wasn't aware that Fry has bipolar disorder. Which explains the flouncy a bit. Sorry, kids.

(for the record, I still think it's just a tiny teeny bit funny in a schadenfreude sort of way, but I am admittedly a rather evil person, so YMMV with this one. LOL at your own risk.)

First attempt at posting, although I've been barracking from the sidelines for about a millennium now ...

astolat posts A Matter Of Inconvenience, which is American Idol slashfic (Kris/Adam) with a 'Regency' setting. At least, that's the general idea, and harmless enough you would have thought - assuming that AI AU RPS is your thing. (Alphabet soup!)

zvi, however, takes exception. Amongst other objections, A Matter of Inconvenience is not about race, thoughtlessly invokes colonial issues, and just doesn't put up any warning flags for those who are about to read it. Also, apparently, this is a thing Astolat fucked up. Everybody, please to endeavor not to fuck up like that with your next happy fun sexytimes historical.

What starts off as moderately polite discussion about historicity in slash fanfiction is, however, quickly derailed by willow who offers the following reasoned evaluation: In the middle of the cuppa tea, the empire waist dresses and the ass-sex of your AU Regency - please to be remembering the hydra heads of colonialism and imperialism and what that means for and about your whitey white penis salt lick fan thought of the moment.

liviapenn tries to calm things down a bit with some entertaining stuff about plumbers and blow jobs but this only serves to upset willow further. Why is it that everytime I see you lately, you're happily shoving your foot into your mouth via your hindquarters? ... You keep claiming to understand your privilege and say you're reflecting on it and then you start chomping that feces encrusted shoe leather again. willow's User Info states "'M brown and I have an attitude." No kidding.

astolat's attempt to explain herself gets stomped on, and the desirability of historical accuracy in a Kris/Adam Regency alternate universe is lathered, rinsed and repeated for those who missed it the first time.

Small, but strangely vitriolic given the subject matter. It's difficult to imagine why people are getting quite so over-excited about one piece of costumed fluff in a universe of lesbian cars and tentacle porn, but it may keep us entertained while we're waiting for next incarnation of VB.

ETA: Okay, I get the message, I got it wrong - or maybe I just don't have a sense of humour? Either way, it was obviously a bad call. Lesson learned.

Meet Lironess, a person of such stunning perfection that she feels confident, nay obliged, to point out the shortcomings of others. Constantly.

When she's not diagnosing diseases over the internet, she's apparently advocating approaching strangers at cons with skin diseases to ask them:

"OMG What the hell is wrong with your skin?"

Yeah, not even kidding*.

Unfortunately no one told betnoir that icky diseased people exist solely as teaching moments for the beautiful people, and that she better learn to live with it or else spend the rest of her life in misery. Luckily for her then, that lironess is here to explain it to her.

The spat lands in sf_drama, where lironess baleeted her most offensive comments (though considering what's left - just WOW) and apparently whole threads if bizarro goodness like handing out condoms to furries, and horse sex, and her inability to spell freak. she then demonstrates her utter lack of getting teh internets, as well as proving that there really isn't a maximum fail quota per post.

After calling like, everyone, a coward or accusing them of hiding (for commenting in an unlocked post in a very public community? huh?) lironess prepares her flounce by calling betnoir (and everyone else) out. As in, *cue scareh music* she can FIND people:

"It has been fun to watch you all hide on a community and make your statements thinking I would not see and reply. However, I can find all of you, any where."

betnoir names a place and time.

but yanno, it's waaaay to far, plus it'd be a hassle and betnoir's fucking parents would sue and it would be a big mess and lironess doesn't care enough to bother. Or something.



*I debated if this should be in UNF because disability!fail = so fucking unfunny, plus there's bonus!fail on both sides, but for sheer overwhelming WTF wankiness I think it belongs here.

C&P'd from wank_report:

"The original post was deleted, but there's caps a'plenty at sf_drama. These are probably the most complete: http://pics.livejournal.com/halrenna/pic/000e0zr0

So. chiibiusa, co-mod of sm_secrets, announces in sailormoonfans that she's thinking of shutting down the comm (at least temporarily, but possibly for good), because there aren't enough secrets being submitted, and she's tired of it. The first commenter, tenchichan, suggests that chiibiusa needs to calm down.

DON'T. TELL. CHIIBIUSA. TO. CALM. DOWN.

Cue raeg, increasingly incoherent responses, a small amount of "OMG don't leave us we love you!" fangirling, and some sighs from people who thought their comm had outgrown this shit.

Then the whole thing hits sf_drama: http://community.livejournal.com/sf_drama/2556609.html?page=1#comments

Bringing chiibiusa with it: http://community.livejournal.com/sf_drama/2556609.html?thread=404234945#t404234945

She is STILL replying to comments left on the sf_d post, as well as randomly friending comm members. There are rumors of a post waiting in the sf_d mod queue, presumably telling us all how gullible we are for falling for her trolling, and how we've all been lol!pwnd! There's been a few comments from people who claim to know her and say that this is really unlike her, so it's possible that this is all leading up to the classic "I GOT HACKED!" defense."

ETA! Chiibiusa flounces: "i amno longer updating this journal from now until ever. and 'ever' is subjective is until i am ready to open it back up again."

Aptly, she's back for more. I guess in the recession, the exchange rate for 'ever' is approximately 45 minutes.

ETA 2: Oh, lordy, more posts. Courtesy of sistrelwood.

ETA 3: *facepalm* First rule of fight club, y'all.

snatched from wank_report

"Someone" posts a secret (#114 now bahleeted--caps?) on fandomsecrets and the image is stored on her easily identifiable photobucket account. She claims to be lonely and not have any friends and she wishes the Avatar characters were her RL friends. But she means local friends, not imaginary intarweb bitches her LJ friends.

Responses are mostly of the "Oh, snap!" variety except for the "What am I? Chopped liver?" one. It's really a very mild response though yukinoomoni is outed by name.

( She doesn't overreact at all: )

eta: F_W is not your therapist. If you can't lol at a wank maybe you need to go for a walk. I thought this was funny. lol sociopath.

Say you're a member of ontd_ai and you're getting a bit tired of the fanfic posts, the idol appreciation posts, the way a particular mod runs things, and anything else you feel doesn't fit the ~true spirit~ of the community. There's only one thing to do!

Start a super-secret elite comm where you and 26 of your friends (including some ontd_ai mods) can plan the upheaval of the 5000-member community, including abrupt fanfic banning and gif trolling of appreciation posts and anyone who objects, or course!

This involved heavily trolling an appreciation post for Megan, one of the AI competitors from the latest season, with gifs and insults. EDIT2: Found it! There are pockets of drama all over the place, but the big stuff is on page six here.

( this is getting long, so i'm cutting it )

This is an offshoot of a post I made on clairvoyantwank

Twicon is being billed as the biggest and best Twilight convention in the country. Well, I had my doubts, and now it looks like some of the sparkle is rubbing off for the Twihards.

You see, Yesterday the con finally announced it's autograph policy (it's on their main page):

Autographs for each attending cast member will be available for reservation on Friday, June 19, at 11:59pm EST. Each attendee can sign up for one free autograph at that time. To reserve your free autograph, login to your registration account and go to the Agenda section. You will only be given the option of selecting one cast member. Don’t worry; once everyone has had time to select their free autograph, we’ll be offering autographs for sale for those cast members who have more time and autographs available.

Okay, these people are paying $255 for this weekend (at least). Which is only $14 cheaper than Creation's Gold Package which includes free autographs from everybody.

To say the least, the fans are not happy...

This is going to be a fun con :)

ETA: I was wrong about the podcast thing, so I removed it.

ETA II: I also notice quite a few attempts at registration sell-offs have popped up in the last 24 hours...

ETA III: On that registration sell off page I noticed one post seems to have gone missing. User lennire had flung her hands up in disgust and wanted to sell off her ticket. Now her posts are gone and her account non-existent, though some of the threads she has started still exist without her. Nobody else seems to have caught wind of this, but I bet the shit will hit the fan when everyone realizes this.

ETA IV: Here's a handy dandy link to all the coverage...

The Twicon Saga:

Part 1 (Clarivoyant Wank Post)

Part 2-(You are Here)

Part 3 FW Followup

Part 4 CW Twicon 2010 coming fail

Part 5 FW Final Post

So, what's got the mod of owlblot so mightily butthurt? (Preemptive caps, since I'm sure this post won't last.) Who are these mysterious people she's demanding answers from? What is threatening the future of the community so badly that she has to suspend posting in every Watchmen community she moderates?

Does it have something to do with this person? Or perhaps a private grudge taken public? Apparently we're just supposed to know these things: And if you STILL do not "get it", then, dears, you just don't get it. Many other people have been able to understand why I am doing this; the number of people who (for what ever reason) are not able to grasp the meaning behind this post are less in number. Thus, I am left no other option than to assume that the fault does not lie with me and my post but that the problem lies within you and how you are trying to perceive it (or failing to perceive it, whichever one works).

Me, I'm just sitting back with a bowl full of popcorn and looking forward to the next installment in this drama.

ETA: The mod speaks: "I was told some people were not liking where the comm. where going. I didn't know who they were specifically so I had to make a big public post about it" And AFAIK all three comms still have posting suspended. Yeah, I don't even know.

Watchmen screenwriter David Hayter writes a sincere but slightly tongue-in-cheek open letter on Hardcore Nerdity to Watchmen fans and non-fans, to urge them to see the movie more than once in order to understand it.

One of his other points is that he thinks those who hate the movie on principle without having seen it should let it marinate in their minds and give it a chance:

It may upset you. And it probably will upset you.

And all along, we really meant it to. ...All this time, you’ve been waiting for a director who was going to hit you in the face with this story. To just crack you in the jaw, and then bend you over the pool table with this story. With its utterly raw view of the darkest sides of human nature, expressed through its masks of action and beauty and twisted good intentions... Like the Comedian on the Grassy Knoll. ...You'll be thinking about this film, down the road. It'll nag at you. How it was rough and beautiful. How it went where it wanted to go, and you just hung on. How it was thoughtful and hateful and bleak and hilarious. And for Jackie Earle Haley.

Trust me. You'll come back, eventually. Just like Sally.

Comments begin in the 'we love Watchmen (although some of us have reservations about the swinging massive blue dong), go Dayter' mould, until people, from page three onwards, suddenly notice the metaphor he used to describe how the movie should make you feel:

DUDE. No one asks to be cracked in the jaw and bent over the goddamned pool table. Was there NO OTHER ANALOGY you could have used? Do you realize that you're comparing your movie to a rapist and the moviegoers to victims asking for it? And what is this "You'll come back. Just like Sally" crap? Do you have any f***ing idea how offensive that is? Could you not have come up with some other analogy, some other pithy tag, something that doesn't make it out like the Comedian was doing Silk Spectre a f***ing favor when he beat her bloody and tried to rape her?

Did you mean to do that?? If not, erm, consider your words more carefully next time you do the "open letter" thing, because wow, did that part get away from you.

Dayter comments on page 7 with an apology claiming he does not condone violence against women, which is edited into the original article. People briefly thank him for apologising, and then attack him again. Dayter responds graciously via huge spoonfuls of sarcasm and retracting his apology (page 8):

Clearly, you can't get less hateful or spewy than that. I humbly retract the statement.

Anyway, I'm sorry you disliked the film.

And you're right, I don't know why I ever set out to do this in the first place. It's really the world I'm hurting. Damn my family, and their almost-constant need for food!

On top of all of this there's huge amounts of movie rage, but the best thing about the whole altercation is the people at Hardcore Nerdity going so far as to make a video response urging people to LEAVE DAYTER ALONE, starring a very angry Dr. Manhattan.

There are those in the Detective Conan/Magic Kaitou fandom that pride themselves on being a small, relatively wank-free fandom.

Then along comes Knightus Maximus, otherwise known as Knightus Detective Conan.

Once upon a time, Knightus and MagicBulletGirl used to date and work on translating Detective Conan manga scans together. This fairytale was not to last as MagicBulletGirl broke up with Knightus both personally and professionally early in 2007 and started doing scans on her own. He hasn't handled this well. Knightus accused MagicBulletGirl of stealing his scans and asked Icka! M. Chif, a BNF that fandom, to look into it. Icka determined that MagicBulletGirl was acting as a distro, so she didn't do anything. She did provide a handy summary of the wank to December 2007.

Yes, it's still going. So what happened?

Knightus responded to Icka!'s post by claiming, "She started it first!" and decides to steal MagicBulletGirl's scans of the latest Conan chapter. He apologised, said he fix it and never did. He proceeds to have a nostalgic dream about the past, then Knightus' close friends and fans rally behind him and proceed to her attack on his c-box (read from the bottom up.)

Being the benevolent soul that he is, Knightus and friends suggest that MagicBulletGirl stop doing manga scans because everyone knows competition is a bad thing. And what wank would be complete without some good old translator harassment?

Now, in addition to his normal duties, Knightus is also a moderator at the Detective Conan forums, where he proceeds to use his all-mighty moderator privileges to freeze the forum thread for English Manga Scans so no one but him can post to it. Despite complaints, the mods take two days to respond. 'Industrial Red State' is JD aka Kaizou, who runs Kaizou Subs. He started Kaizou with the purpose of running Kaze no Koe out of business, then 'retired' from Detective Conan anime subs when he succeeded. He and Knightus used to sub together. 'magicaldreams' is MagicBulletGirl's RL sister

Meanwhile, a friend of Knightus' begins to threaten MagicBulletGirl via IM and someone hacks into her site and starts deleting files away. Though Knightus claims to have an epiphany, his "father" suddenly jumps into the melee begins to threaten her on his son's behalf. Meanwhile, more files are deleted from MagicBulletGirl's site that are not related to Detective Conan, though MagicBulletGirl has specifically - and repeatedly - stated that she wants to simply be left alone.

Let me state for the record that Knightus is old enough to be taking the LSAT. In other words, he's in his mid-to-late 20s at the least. And yet, if this is his father, he goes and fights his fights for him - and urges people to vote for Obama while they're at it.

ETA 1: Knightus claims that "Daddy" doesn't belong to him. Is he really his father? You be the judge...

ETA 2: Knightus's anonymouses come out to play wank, resulting in the anonymous commenting being turned off. Meanwhile, 'Industrial Red State' comes out of retirement just for this wank!

Brand new ETA 3: Knightus: "I don't believe anything is posted on "F_W" for the purpose of being blown over or resolved."