Spoilers for the upcoming season of Supernatural!

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For the last year and half or so, webcomic Sinfest has featured an intermittent storyline about feminism and "the sisterhood," with many of the characters being confronted with their anti-feministic views to varying reactions. As the comic started out with a lot of humor about drugs, sex, and stereotypes (and also a cute dog and cat, but that's not important right now), some readers have not been pleased with this change.

This comic pretty much sums up the background for you. For a quick overview of the complaints sans [much] wank, see the entries here for Base Breaker, Black Hole Sue, Double Standard, Jerk Sue, They Changed It Now It Sucks, and Some Anvils Need to Be Dropped. (Warning: link goes to TVTropes.)

The storyline's been going on long enough that wank has started to spill over a bit into many online "discussions" about comics and feminism (Shortpacked's comments section, for example), but is most conveniently observed right in Sinfest's own forums.

This is where the wank gets entertaining.( '...a smattering of the hopelessly ignorant we might be able to lure in and taunt mercilessly.' )

Snapefen are still wanking about Lily Evans Potter. terri_testing posted an essay More on Lily's behavior in SWM: Lily the Prefect? on Snapedom. An excerpt from this essay:
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Batshit flourishes in the comments:
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The essay about Lily by randomneses continues to attract crazy people. oryx_leucoryx finally stopped wanking here, but don't worry! Enter n1ght1ng4l3, who claims to be not a Snape fan and to dislike the Marauders and Snape equally, despite being a member of Snapedom and two Sirius comms (also such comms for butthurt fans as dh_oh_shit and deadlyhollow).

Wank ensues. Some comments by n1ght1ng4l3:
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Inglourious Basterds is the latest Quentin Tarantino movie. Oh No They Didn't, is a gossip site based on LJ that is big enough it's actually taken LJ severs out more than once all on its lonesome (I think the last time was when Michael Jackson died, but don't quote me). Eli Roth is the guy who plays Donny "The Bear Jew" Donowitz in Inglourious Basterds (he also wrote/directed Cabin Fever and Hostel and its apparently awful sequel. That guy).

It all started when Eli Roth discovered the Inglourious Basterds Kink Meme.

Surprisingly, not via a fangirl breaking the sacred rule of Though Shalt Not Force Porn On The People In It AFAIK, but all on his lonesome. He was pretty much amused and also decided to show it to and discuss it with Quentin Tarantino (who apparently agreed with him the Donny would be a top), and also Christoph Waltz (who played Landa in IB) and apparently his parents, because he's that kind of classy. This garnered many facepalms from fangirls in places like 100_scalps, but shockingly, very little wank.

This resulted in a lot of twittering porn at him and his discovery of ONTD. He made a I <3 ONTD sign. Something a fair few celebs have done in the past.

After that it kind of got out of control, progressing from ONTD changing his Wiki page to say he was their Official Boyfriend to him twittering he would think about all of ONTD when he jerked off the night, then posting a picture of a very used looking tissue, then to a very candid interview with questions from a lot of people at ONTD*, to-- and here's where the wank really started, pun utterly and completely intended-- having cyber sex with various ONTD'ers on his MySpace. The Eli Roth tag on ONTD contains basically every screen cap and citation, so I'm not linking to everything individually. Scroll on down.

Then it came out that some of said cyber sexin' ONTD'ers sent him pictures of their boobs.

ONTD proceeds to have a 5000 comment long flamewar consisting of the brilliant arguments (paraphrased, but I assure you all quite accurate as you will see if you click this link): YOU'RE SLUTS. NO WE'RE NOT. YES YOU ARE. NO WE'RE NOT. YES YOU ARE. NO WE'RE NOT. YES YOU ARE.

I think, in conclusion, I would like to say that despite what you may think of Mr. Roth, he certainly knows how to make a girl laugh.

*This is the only thing that is locked, however, you only have to join ONTD to see it. It's... worth it.

[ETA]: Omar Doom answered a similar fangirl written survey for ONTD, said he wouldn't be at all opposed to seeing some fangirl boobs, and the wank goes ever on and on in the comments.

( Spoilers for Torchwood and oh god great linky madness within. Enter at your own risk. )

This post brought to you by the ridiculously helpful mousies on wank_report, the letter W and the number 4. (The W is for wut and 4 is how many cups of coffee I've already had today).

Somedays, I swear I am only in this fandom because the wank is so damn fine.

Jensen Ackles' girlfriend nauseates, cockblocks, enrages, and harshes the squee of fangirls so much, one "jokingly" asks security to remove her from a con.

These people are not just deeply stupid, they're terminally stupid.

...And all sorts of wank breaks loose!

Of course, ONTD is on the scene with a cover of Clay and his (imho) adorable son Parker. There's also a video (which I'm afraid to load on my pee oh ess computer).

And then we find in the comments that obsessive Claymates really go over the top.

The Clayboard has placed a temporary ban on discussing the People article until all of the mods can be reached. They have to discuss how to handle the issue, or something.

And in this article by The New York Daily News, it's mentioned that the mother of baby Parker was inseminated using artificial insemination. (Awkward sentence, it is awkward.)

( ETAs under cut. )

Spinning Spinsters decides to write an essay about how fan culture is highly conservative, and bolsters and propagates male supremacist ideas.

People in the comments seem to agree with her and thank her for having opened their eyes to how they're really just serving The Man by writing about guys getting on it.

But wait! Is such blanket approval natural? Not in the least.

As soon as she starts getting disagreements that are pro-slash, she deletes them on the grounds that such defenses can be found anywhere. She also refuses to link to any examples because it'd be unhelpful/too much work, and characterizes most femmeslash stories as being like lesbian pornography.

For bonus points, she apparently also has the power to edit comments if they talk about women in unacceptable ways. Though it's okay to say that on House, 'the women on that show are so lousy, either shrews or sex objects or both', so I'm curious as to what she doesn't find acceptable.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to serve The Man.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Or, Why Fannish Meta Can't Have Nice Things.

Over on LJ, hth_the_first makes a post about how slash and queer aren't the same thing. There's some interesting discussion, lots of personal insights and it's chugging along smoothly...until page 2.

miriam_heddy's comment includes this idea:

And while most slashers may well self-identify or live in the RW as heterosexual, in terms of behaviour, I'd argue that those same het slashers are often participating in homosexual activity.

mrs260 objects to that, inspiring this post's title, and asks for clarification. harriet_spy breaks in:

Surely you did not mean to come into the LJ of a queer person and suggest that homosexual activity is disgusting, did you?

One can disagree with the analysis without suggesting that it leads somewhere loathsome.

Turns out mrs260 is a gay man, so along with not being all over the ladies, "Besides the whole fact that I'm attracted to men, not women, I don't think it's out of line to think it's icky to see someone postulate that one has been unwittingly participating in "sexual activity" with any number of friends, acquaintances, and strangers."

And it's on. The thread grows, people continue to having Learning Experiences with harriet_spy, mrs260 clarifies, and later on, friends of his show up to support him in brand-new LJs (never a good move) and get into it with liviapenn.

Old-time BNFs. Accusations of homophobia. (Putative) sockpuppets. All that's missing is plagiarism allegations.

Remember teh_no? He's been involved in some amusing wanks in the past, including "Fandom wimmins are sexist!", "I can totally pwn Warren Ellis!" and "You didn't comment on my fanfic, you pedo bitch!"

Back in November, brown_betty posted a few theories about teh_no, sockpuppets and scans_daily. This prompted surprisingly little fall-out.

Well, teh_no did comment on monkeycrackmary's journal asking, "What did I ever do to you?", apparently working on the principle that Betty is Mary's sockpuppet. And also on the principle that Mary would have forgotten teh_no calling her a pedophile. And there was a complicated little exchange on teh_no's journal. (Note that Betty's brutal expose was posted on November 15.)

But, all in all, rather quiet. Certainly nothing that ended up on f_w, anyway.

However, on December 13, teh_no posted: "So fast, my posts at fanficrants have inspired a metaquote and icons. I can only imagine that a movie offer is next. Oh, BB, I totally forgive you for all those things you said about me. Dissecting the badfic skeletons in your closet is more than worth your harsh words."

So, what badfic skeletons are in this mysterious "BB"'s closet?

Well, there's this one, this one and this one. Allegedly.

You see, the mod of weepingcock has spotted something:

"Is it possible that you would prefer not to link to the original author because the excerpts are from an online Hustler novel (this post, in particular, comes from page 10, BTW) and not, in fact, from Batman fanfic as you've previously claimed in fanficrants?"

Oops.

koshiroryuu then decides it's only fair to expose the badfic skeletons in teh_no's closet. And, oh boy, are there a lot.

Not that it's his fault, of course. A girl made him do it.

ETA Disclaimer: I have tangled with teh_no in the past and can be seen in the comments of Betty's post. I'm not involved in the current wank.

ETA: Year One: I forgot to include some tantalising hints teh_no dropped as to the identity of 'BB'. She's somebody from "Batman fandom, sorry to say" and also somebody who fancies herself quite the feminist." Why, it's almost as if he's describing brown_betty!

ETAfall: And banninated from fanficrants.

The ETA Knight: Also banninated from weepingcock.

With thanks to the wank_report mouse:

So Katie Cassidy, an actress who plays one of Supernatural's two new female characters, got busted for underage drinking, and lied to the arresting officer about her name and date of birth (instead claiming to be 23-year-old Taylor Cole, a guest star from the first season of s1). Her mother's quoted response to this is to ask "what can be done" because her daughter is a "high-profile" actress who "[doesn't] have time to come back to court". It's posted with some glee to perezhilton and thesmokinggun, but, alas, the worst is yet to come.

potthead (of the Jensen's ex-girlfriend is a dirty dirty whore wank) posts it to her community supernatural_tv here, where immediately there's an orgy of stupid not seen... er... since RDR books. Some choice threads include this one, but here are some standalone quotes from the three pages of comments:

( Cut for length )

Then it hits the private journals, of which there are literally dozens, but I picked my favourite:

anteka, who, you may remember, we are "blessed" to have, posts:

You dumb shit.
What pisses me off the most is that she thought saying she was some hot-shot Hollywood actress would get her off. Honey, a little bit of advice. You're a nobody. If I didn't watch Supernatural I wouldn't have known who the fuck you were.

The comments are also things of beauty and stupidity, including:

( Again! )

It's still spreading, from defriendings and accusations of misogyny to plain old requests for the wank to stop, but ileliberte sums it up best:

"Oh my god! She got drunk while under 21!! The HORROR!!1!1! This will drag Supernatural's name THROUGH THE MUD because being drunk while not driving is so very DANGEROUS!!!!! While drunk she panicked and used the name of someone older, how dare she!!!! And OMG doesn't it just go to show there should never have been any girls on this show!!! St. Jared and St. Jensen obviously never did anything even remotely stupid when they were 20!!!eleventy!"

So Joanna Krupa, playmate and ex-girlfriend of Jensen Ackles (the fish-fucking, hobo-wrestling, coke-addicted pregnant hermaphrodite) has posed nude for the latest PETA ad compaign, slogan: "I'd rather go naked than wear fur."

mddevi posts a link to the campign in the community entirelyjensen, finishing off by asking (in bolded, enlargened font) 'How could have Jensen and her been a couple at one time?'

At first, community members play relatively nice, some defending Joanna by pointing out how happy she appears to have made Jensen, or how 'She's doing something she believes in.' Some mumble about how "it's not much of a stretch for someone who gets photographed nude for a living to say she's "rather be naked"".

At least, right up until potthead comments with 'What a skank. >___>;;'

( Cut for length )

Simply put: blueshimmer returns to fanficrants to tell us that women need to STFU and stay out of the stable... and fanficrants flames the pants off of them.

YOU ARE NOT AUTOFUCKINGMATICALLY ENTITLED TO JACK SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A GODDAMN COCK.

Did the big bad horse throw you, and now you save your ego by saying that this is a problem of women in general?

And:

Are you going to make a post in a few hours ranting about how this is a rant community and we have no right to be arguing against your rant?

</i>Edit +1: It's at two three pages so far. And oh, the OP is a girl.

Edit +2: The OP doesn't think she's being a wanker at all and would like people to stop questioning her categorical truths, and shipwar has some very serious things to say about it all.

The Ivorytower posts her thoughts on yaoi on FFR. The problem? She says she likes yaoi because she doesn't like any of the female characters. At first she starts getting words, internets, and cookies and stuff, but then people start going "Homie
say what?!"

BONUS: It seems to have spawned! These threads aren't wanky, but who doesn't love wankspawn (if there's any I missed, let me know)?

The inspiration behind it all? Knowing FFR, I'm REALLY surprised this thread wasn't wanky.

Somebody else's thoughts.

No bashing!

ETA: The genfic one wasn't related after all, so I removed it. But we get this snarking of the whole wank on Shipwar as a consolation prize!

Even the Avatar: The Last Airbender fandom isn't free of wank, as demonstrated when fairsmithchild shows the community of avatar_fans when she rants on how the only female main character, Katara, is a useless blob of cliche.

I'll copy the entry in question here, because the community owner believes that the internet is made out of sunshine and rainbows and people shouldn't fight in her community.

( Blah blah blah, bashing bashing bashing. )

I'm surprised this didn't turn into a shippingwank, considering the first part of the post.

It seems that everyone politely disagrees with fairsmithchild, until amurderofcrows lays the smackdown on Fairsmith, who apparently does this bashing thing a lot.

chirachira suggests that Fairsmith put this bashing/rant in her journal, to which Fairsmith says "So do you mean I'm not allowed to discuss anything controversial on this forum? What is the forum for but for discussion?". A few commenters decide to set Fairsmith straight on what is a "discussion" and what is "bashing".

Fairsmith then whines about opinions, where she gets served by amurderofcrows, who calls "Troll". Fairsmith does the classic "I thought we were friends!", which doesn't seem to work on Crows.

akavertigo steps in with the Troll calling in the form of a photoshopped image. This spurs the usual "Haha, you winz!" vs "SO immature!" miniwank.

There's a little bit of everything if you look at the rest of the wank, but Fairsmith stopped responding to them all (lack of witty comments?).

D'awww, the Avatar fandom is growing up!

Edit: It appears that Fairsmith has been deleting her own comments and her friends are coming to her aid (in the comfort of screened commenting, of course). There might be more to this wank than what we see!

...........I have no clue if this has been posted before or not.

Anyway, I'm sure most of you are familiar with a community on LJ called cosplayfucks. Their ultimate goal is to find crappy cosplay costumes, post them on the Internets, and laugh heartily at the overabuse of foil, brightly-colored wigs, and hosiery.

Or maybe it's just about making fun of fat people.

The post itself is a normal cosplayfucks post, but I can GUARANTEE that if you click on a thread with the member aufdeutschebag in it, then it's going to be wanky.

I know that codename_windy is one of the Malik cosplayers in the post, but I couldn't puzzle out whom the other one was..........there was a lot of wank and Photoshopped images clogging the threads. O.o

In short, there was a lot of offensive terms for lesbians thrown about, people discussed the substantiality of two GIRLS cosplaying what is clearly BOY ON BOY action, and both sides have yet to mention the Nazis, so no clear winner has been decided yet.

*shrug* Have at it; there's tons of wank there to keep you occupied for the day. All worksafe, unless you count the original cosplayers crotch-grabbing each other in their.......non-existent.......crotches to be porn.

[EDIT]: Since aufdeutschebag possesses the most DISGUSTING football icon in the history of man and chooses to use it at her will, this isn't safe for work anymore. And courtesy of one sick sick anonymouse, we now have a penis beauty contest going on in the threads here at F_W. So, er, yeah. Not safe for work anymore. Douchebags.

So Shinichiro Watanabe's (creator of the lovely Cowboy Bebop) latest series is Samurai Champloo, a 26-episode anime series blending hip-hop and samurai swordfighting to come up with a hip little anachronistic show that is now airing on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Countdown to wank in 5...4...3...

donquixote_ establishes two livejournal communities, champlooyaoi, and champloo_yaoi. Wow, what a dedicated fan, right?

Of course not! The two communities were both taken for their names, "before the stupid fangirls got their mitts on it". donquixote_ then posts a rant in each about how yaoi fangirls are delusional for seeing yaoi between the two main male characters. But it's okay for her to think that, as we find out that donquixote_ is bi! (And defends her point by saying that slashing straight characters is hurting the gay movement.)

More entertainment is found at champloo_yaoi over champlooyaoi. It's the underscore that makes all the difference, baby.

Wank is teensy, like our fandom. Awww.

=^..^=

*For the record, I find Champloo yaoi to be totally unbelievable, but not as unbelievable as creating a community to deter yaoi fans. For those of you looking for real snarky samurai yaoi, head to champloo_is_gay.

Deleted before it could really go anywhere, but I thought I'd still share a bit of it. I've got bits and pieces of the responses but I was unfortunately not around to witness it--if anyone was, feel free to fill in any gaps!

Uploaded page here, but the links are all dead (rah, firefox). Credit goes to worstangel for saving it in the first place, and to theomeny for hosting it.

glassdarkly makes a post to the death_note community and proceeds to make a series of inquiries: how yaoi is the series, does L know that Raito is Kira, is L the grim reaper...

The replies start pouring in. Some people are helpful and patient, some are rude, others are just plain baffled that somebody dare infiltrate their fandom on the pretense of yaoi. fusakugyoku even pulls the "Nostradamous" card and prophecizes the invasion of the fangirls come October (his solution? genocide).

( Little gems, for anybody too who doesn't feel like giving it a skim )

And, of course, nothing says "end of discussion" like a tasteful photoshop banner.

(and in case I'm wanked reporting a wank, major spoiler warnings for the whole series.)

EDIT: And it's been brought to my attention that the issue is still a hot one among the deathnote fen. Noteworthy is this post where they're beginning to feel the onset of panic re: the n00b invasion. Will this end up like fm_alchemist, with a ratings system for posts and a custom FAQ guide? Tune in next week whenever: same wank time, same wank channel.