It all starts with what people are already calling LJ Genderfail: the newest beta version of LJ added a mandatory "gender" field to the sign-up process and eliminated the "unspecified" option (LJ quickly responded that the mandatoryness and binaryness of the new question were an accidental bug, and that the code was not going to go live. Of course, not everyone believes them about the "unintentional" part).

Well-known SGA BNF, former lj staffmember and co-founder of Dreamwidth Synecdochic made a call-to-action post that included the line,

It's been a while since I've been furious with anything LJ has done; having DW has done a lot to calm down my knee-jerk "AUUUGH NO" whenever Moscow does something stupid again.

A few people, some Russian and some not, are offended by this, and object. Synecdochic apologizes and edits the post after a request for clarification, but that is not enough to stop Ivorygates from making her side look bad.

Furiosity (who identifies as Russian) had objected to dismissing an entire culture because you're mad at some of its representatives, and Ivorygates takes the opportunity to school her. In her own cultural history. Because, you know, Russians don't understand freedom: it's not in their culture! America's special history of free speech can't be truly respected by them! (At this point Synecdochic freezes the thread.)

But Ivorygates isn't done! Bell had commented to Synecdochic that saying "Moscow" made a decision wasn't the same as saying "San Francisco" did because "Moscow, in US rhetoric, is that creepy place with commies and weird politics and gangsters". Ivorygates PMs her about this claim,

Are you actually -- are you actually seriously -- suggesting that identifying as a Russian national -- online, where you are safe from physical attack and can maintain anonymity -- presents you with duress identical to the harassment and persecution that transsexual and genderqueer individuals experience not only on-line, but in every facet of their lives?

Furiosity also posts to ask people to apologize instead of getting defensive when informed that they have offended "someone's race/culture/language/sexual orientation/gender identity/whatever". In her post meddie_flow comes to Synecdochic's defense with the ever popular Bingo square of "She didn't mean anything by it" with a side-order of "don't turn everything into a lynch-mob". Being offended by russophobia is also likened to being offended by the color red, and I'm honestly not sure if the irony there was intentional or not...

But a lot to do with wank.

Approximately seven trillion Batman communities have sprung up on LJ since The Dark Knight came out, including several devoted (ostensibly) to the funny, like fuckyou_batman, agents_of_chaos, and batman_lulz; these join a pre-existing Batman-funny comm, capslock_batman. They all look for lullz in different ways - fuckyou_batman by mocking fangirls, batman_lulz by posting endless macros, and so on. Soooo...what happens when two or more of these communities intersect?

That's right. Splat.

So, omguxie, industrious little joker fangirl, purveyor of lullz, and wanker that she is, has created a couple of these communities: batman_lulz and joker_lesbians (peep the macro of the Joker eating the pink taco). And her wank gets everywhere. (Tasty amuse-bouche wank to whet your appetite: You can only join if you're a big enough lesbian for omguxie! EDIT BAHLEETED!)

It starts with now-deleted spamming by anonymous agents of chaos (but not necessarily agents_of_chaos). Apparently, the spammers used all-caps; clearly - CLEARLY - this means they are from capslock_batman. Omguxie makes accusations to this effect. Capslock_batman, in turn, do not appreciate this. Omguxie comes to the post to CAPS THEM BACK. Much advising to CALM DOWN IT'S JUST THE INTERNET occurs. I just wonder how they can tell who's yelling and who's just, you know, posting in capslock.

But wait! That's only part of the wank!

Meanwhile, back at the batman_lulz, "The Joker" posts an advisory warning to his fangirls. This is not funny enough for the lulzians, no! Cue 593 comments, at this posting (edit: 670 now), split between playing along, telling him he's a lamer, and posting macros.

Lots and lots of macros. A good portion of these by omguxie: the rare sight of a mod spamming her own community.

SEE! Omguxie charm a steadfast FY_Ber with her IRL cuteness!

WITNESS! The Scarecrow's arrival!

GASP! As they fail at eating their own!

Over at batmanholyland omguxie has her own tag ("omguxie is annoying and we hate her"), but sadly, they're smart enough to friendslock everything. Don't you hate it when the wankers keep their wank to themselves?

ETA: They macro some more on the fourth page. And by "some more" I mean "a whole hell of a lot". WARNING: SOME IMAGES IN THE EDITED-IN LINKS VERY NSFW.

ETA II: Capslock_batman already disliked batman_lulz (and it's mutual), though I'm unable to discern exactly where this originally started; and omguxie is something of a modwhore.

I found this recipe in the other wank and thought you guys might enjoy it:

You will need
1 greased ohnotheydidnt
1 ship-based MS Paint macro (Do not credit the macro! This is very important!)
3 cups inksplotched
1/2 teaspoon grudge (optional)
2 heaping tablespoons bazcat89
a pinch of CAPSLOCK
sparkles to taste

1. In a large bowl, add inksplotched to the macro in 1/2-cup increments, beating on high speed until stiff peaks form.

2. In another bowl, combine grudge, bazcat89, and CAPSLOCK and stir until mixed thoroughly.

3. Fold grudge-bazcat89-CAPSLOCK mixture into macro-inksplotched meringue.

4. Spread over ohnotheydidnt and top with sparkles.

5. Bake at 400 degrees for 3 days until edges are crusty.

6. Serve with your favorite alcoholic beverage and a large sprig of mockery.

*You may store Twilight Sparkle Surprise in your freezer up to 3 months.
**CAUTION: if you share your thoughts on fandom near Twilight Sparkle Surprise, it will turn out bitter and inedible and all the hungry wankas will eat you instead!

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

This is not the Starbuck's of wank.* It's a bitter re-heated brew, percolated with the stagnant grounds of yesteryear.

Andrew Burt is the VP of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer's Association of America. ( Some pixel-stained technopeasant wretches are less than pleased by his leadership. )

Damage control was done. The e-piracy committee was disbanded. A committee was put together in order to figure out what to replace the old piracy committee with... And lo, the SFWA was graced with a new improved exactly the same damn thing.

There was much rejoicing, in the sense that "rejoicing" means "bitterness" and "more disillusionment".

How would Andy top that? Why, by entering the race for SFWA president.

Thus commences a largely one-sided dogpiling. Highlights include discussion of the Dunning-Kruger effect and a 300 macro.

[ETA via hopefulnebula] Campaign poster macros are great justice!

[Late ETAS for completion's sake on the off chance someone checks back again, which if nobody does is a pity because this stuff contains at least twice the funny.]
"Greetings, gentlebeings!"
Burty supporters defile Earth Logic.
George R.R. Martin weighs in.
Burt as Walter Mitty.
MST3King ahoy!

And now, the raisins d'être, what makes this stale wank fresh again, via the Whatever with a tip of the hat to our lovely nonnymice: The Flickr group.

But wait... The son of the bride of the ETA strikes again
Burt announces that television is a dangerous threat to writers everywhere, as it gives away content for free and often does not involve white scientists having vanilla 1950s-style sex with their 20-year-old coquettish assistants while infodumping about math. He subsequently declares war upon the Writers Guild of America.


* I'm weak. One can only wait so long for RDR updates...
& ETA 'coz I can't spell at 7 AM.

You're all a bunch of whores. (no! don't go! I love you! D:)


The random bannings will occur after I get home from drinking. You may appease my drunken wrath by filling the comments of this post with macros and cute animal pictures.

Do it.

DO IT NOW.

____________________________________________

Birthday over! Thanks everyone! No sacrifices required. This time.

WHERE:
cat_macros is a LiveJournal community where cat lovers post images that have humorous text captions in the images themselves. Fun! Awesome! Controversial?
http://community.livejournal.com/cat_macros/

WANKER: kazumii
http://kazumii.livejournal.com/

WHAT:
1) kazumii posts an off-topic YouTube video link of a cat in a "washing machine" and whines about animal cruelty
- SCREENCAPS:
http://jade-angel.net/cat_macros_wank/
- COMMENTARY BY MOD + MEMBERS:
http://community.livejournal.com/cat_macros/698029.html

2) the community points out that it's OT and not cruelty but professional cat-bathe-ing

3) kazumii whines and trolls individual journals

4) Omniscient Moderator kittydoom bahleetes kazumii

5) kazumii flounces, whinges, & threatens to report *everyone* to the LJ adminz. Drama et cetera et cetera.

Kitty cats, ppl. KITTIES.

Current Mood: Mildly Amused