I didn't realize that the moderation queue was no longer sending out emails.

I've freed the two posts that were mouldering inside and if you make a post, can you be sure to notify mods at fannish dot org? That way we can go and approve it. Thank you.

The last post was deleted due to one of the wank participants being a minor (in case you were wondering where it went. Maybe. Maybe not).

Just try not to wank minors, okay? Especially if they say right upfront, "I AM SIXTEEN."

Hello, fandom_wank! I have two things to announce, are you ready?

First: The wiki is down. Yes, it has been down for a while. We are aware of this and working to return it. I have no estimated time on its return, unfortunately, but please know that we are aware and hoping to have it restored soon.

Second: This March marks our ten year anniversary here on Journalfen. Perhaps you would like to give me a list of your favorite wanks in the comments?

NO, NO, NOT FOR ANY SPECIFIC REASON. >.>

Thank you for your time!

ETA: Your favorite wanks can be from ANY of these(not just FW):

otf_wank
clairvoyantwank
i_wank
dl_anon
wankitywank
hp_cornfield
fw_debate
wank_report
fandom_lounge
fandom_rant
fwgreatesthits

Yes, some of these are not technically wank comms, but wank has happened there, so feel free to include it!

The mods did not think this was something that needed to be said, but evidently we were wrong:

Reports of fatal shootings do not belong in the wank comms, no matter who was involved.

Please do not attempt to submit this post. We will just continue to reject it on the grounds of "what the actual fuck is wrong with you?"

THIS DAY IN FANDOM_WANK HISTORY:

December 6th, 2006:

Fandom_wank suffered a great tragedy in the name of fandom research.

Yes, that is the day that snacky and sepiamagpie investigated pseucide, but delved too deeply, too greedily. That is the day they died.

Everyone, please join hands in mourning them and don't read the next line in the linked post.

Just a reminder, don't delete your posts without permission or we'll ban you.

redwarrior has been banned from FW and its associated communities for deleting this post from i_wank. Missing from the screencaps: Someone telling him he was stupid, and his edit saying he'd been banned from FFR but that was okay, he was going to leave anyway, SO THERE.

Carry on, citizens!

EDIT: Cap of the comments.

MOD NOTICE
-
new community

sandglass has decided to be helpful and has created a new official fandom wank comm for you all.

unfunny_fandom is now the fandom_wank off-shoot community for unfunny fandom business.

Thank you for your time, citizens.

We've had a couple of instances recently of wankas noticing potential rule violations (underage subjects, personal information leakage, etc.) in comms. Which is great. Go you. Keep it up.

BUT please remember that your loving and benevolent mods can't check into dicey activity if we don't know about it. Like most of you, we don't read every comment in every post, because, like you, real life gets in the way, not all of us cook, and sometimes we get bored and wander off.

So, a request: if you see anything that looks icky, or have any questions or comments for the moderators, don't just make a "have the mods seen this?" comment. Please drop us an e-mail (including direct links is really, really helpful) to us at mods@thefannish.org.

Kisses.

Last post deleted due to one of the wankers being underage. Sorry, folks.

Dearest little wankahs, what makes a perfect wank?

I'm not asking this because I'm trying to perfect a Get Wank Quick scheme*, though. Honest.



*Voodoo, not trolling.

Friends, Romans, Wankas.

The Republican (lol!) Twilight self-publishing wank has been deleted owing to the balance of evidence suggesting that the subject was almost certainly underage. So if you saw that video with the hickey on her breast, I hope you feel suitably dirty.

In this case, her age was not exactly prominently displayed, but bear in mind that if you have any doubts about the age of the subject, don't post it. Or check with your loving mods.

Also: if you want to bring something to our attention, send us an email (ideally with a link or links). Don't just comment that "mods should look at this," since we may miss something buried deep in a comment thread.

We remain your humble servants,

the modsquad

WELL. If you go back to the post, you'll see the oracle replied to my comments as I am apparently her translator.

Turns out quite a few of you were worthy! This was quite a conundrum, since it had been recently voted for in Fandom Wank congress (did I mention? We recently became a democracy. You guys can't vote) that I couldn't make you guys fight to the death for the crown.

So instead enjoy these 'fine' icons:




And have a fine first of april, wankahs.

Oh fair and forgiving denizens of fandom wank, it has come time for us to choose a new champion. Or a new mod, at least. You may have noticed us fading away, like beautiful unicorns. But no more!

Before you are the tasks three that must be completed for consideration:

1. You must locate a truly funny wank. It may be in our archives.
2. A golden apple. You may be creative.
3. Ten disney icons (edit: This can also be Pixar). Sep wants disney icons.

Those that complete this task will be brought before the oracle of Phosfate to hear their fate!




There will be prizes for participation, although they are best described as 'crappy'. Oh, and the mod prize.

AND WE'RE DONE. PRIZES IN NEXT POST

As you all know, we've had a lot of n00bs join fandom_wank recently, and we've been suffering some growing pains. Once again, we urge you to read our user info and learn about the rules and how to contact the mods and all the non-fun business.

Since we have so many new baby wankas, we need some help gently reminding the young ones (and some not so young ones) of the rules. We want you to be the FW Nannies, and help us guide our sweet n00bs through this harsh, wanky world. So, if you see any of the following things:

thoughts on yaoi
out of control boobie trains
excessive posting of recipes
unfunny macros
wank reenactment in the comments
trolling, trollbaiting, trollbiting, trip-trapping across my bridge
any random breaking of actual rules

please, feel free to use the comments of this post to tattle report to us. We've set up a new community for our baby wankas, fw_timeout to spend some time, if they are caught. Make sure you join!

Remember, this will make us a stronger community!

In case you were wondering about anon commenting, it's off again. Every time we turn it on, we get hit by a bunch of anonymous spam (one example here). So it's off again for the forseeable future, or at least until we feel like turning it back on. Creatures of whim, remember?

Um. Talk amongst yourselves? If you have some kind of solution that will allow anon commenting *and* keep the spam away, post it here. Thanks!

From fandom_wank's user info:

Do not troll people who show up on FW.

That includes Chancery Stone, no matter how batshit/offensive/screamingly funny you find her to be. We don't poke the crazy people with sticks. Don't go to their LJs or blogs and comment, anonymously or not.

For new members, or people who have just never bothered to look at it before, the community info is here:

http://www.journalfen.net/userinfo.bml?user=fandom_wank

You will find other rule-ish things, and handy links there. Don't break the rules, plzkthnx. Because then we have to ban you, and we hate love hate banning people. Well, except for sepiamagpie and apoplexia. They're gearing up for a big banning spree, on the anniversary of Deletegate, and trust me, they're making their list and checking it twice (and thrice and fource? You know what I mean!)

Seriously, that list is HUGE. I think they need to get outside more. But please, don't give them any more ammunition.

For those of you having posting problems, see this fw_debate entry for an explanation.