First attempt at posting, although I've been barracking from the sidelines for about a millennium now ...

astolat posts A Matter Of Inconvenience, which is American Idol slashfic (Kris/Adam) with a 'Regency' setting. At least, that's the general idea, and harmless enough you would have thought - assuming that AI AU RPS is your thing. (Alphabet soup!)

zvi, however, takes exception. Amongst other objections, A Matter of Inconvenience is not about race, thoughtlessly invokes colonial issues, and just doesn't put up any warning flags for those who are about to read it. Also, apparently, this is a thing Astolat fucked up. Everybody, please to endeavor not to fuck up like that with your next happy fun sexytimes historical.

What starts off as moderately polite discussion about historicity in slash fanfiction is, however, quickly derailed by willow who offers the following reasoned evaluation: In the middle of the cuppa tea, the empire waist dresses and the ass-sex of your AU Regency - please to be remembering the hydra heads of colonialism and imperialism and what that means for and about your whitey white penis salt lick fan thought of the moment.

liviapenn tries to calm things down a bit with some entertaining stuff about plumbers and blow jobs but this only serves to upset willow further. Why is it that everytime I see you lately, you're happily shoving your foot into your mouth via your hindquarters? ... You keep claiming to understand your privilege and say you're reflecting on it and then you start chomping that feces encrusted shoe leather again. willow's User Info states "'M brown and I have an attitude." No kidding.

astolat's attempt to explain herself gets stomped on, and the desirability of historical accuracy in a Kris/Adam Regency alternate universe is lathered, rinsed and repeated for those who missed it the first time.

Small, but strangely vitriolic given the subject matter. It's difficult to imagine why people are getting quite so over-excited about one piece of costumed fluff in a universe of lesbian cars and tentacle porn, but it may keep us entertained while we're waiting for next incarnation of VB.

ETA: Okay, I get the message, I got it wrong - or maybe I just don't have a sense of humour? Either way, it was obviously a bad call. Lesson learned.

Dearest little wankahs, what makes a perfect wank?

I'm not asking this because I'm trying to perfect a Get Wank Quick scheme*, though. Honest.



*Voodoo, not trolling.

Lambda Literary Foundation: We're changing our submission criteria. From now on our GLBT literary award will only be given to self-identified GLBT authors.

( This does not go over well. )

Zac, aka Anime News Network's Answerman, has announced his retirement in the form of an epic flounce.

As a crusty old douchenozzle myself, I gotta say - I LOL'd.

As a lot of you must know by now, the first 12 Chapters of Midnight Sun, Smeyer's addition to her Uh-may-zing boooookes was leaked on the internet several days ago, and this has chagrined her dazzle verily.

From her official website:

August 28, 2008 (part II)

As some of you may have heard, my partial draft of Midnight Sun was illegally posted on the Internet and has since been virally distributed without my knowledge or permission or the knowledge or permission of my publisher.

I have a good idea of how the leak happened as there were very few copies of Midnight Sun that left my possession and each was unique. Due to little changes I made to the manuscript at different times, I can tell when each left my possession and to whom it was given. The manuscript that was illegally distributed on the Internet was given to trusted individuals for a good purpose. I have no comment beyond that as I believe that there was no malicious intent with the initial distribution.

I did not want my readers to experience Midnight Sun before it was completed, edited and published. I think it is important for everybody to understand that what happened was a huge violation of my rights as an author, not to mention me as a human being. As the author of the Twilight Saga, I control the copyright and it is up to the owner of the copyright to decide when the books should be made public; this is the same for musicians and filmmakers. Just because someone buys a book or movie or song, or gets a download off the Internet, doesn't mean that they own the right to reproduce and distribute it. Unfortunately, with the Internet, it is easy for people to obtain and share items that do not legally belong to them. No matter how this is done, it is still dishonest. This has been a very upsetting experience for me, but I hope it will at least leave my fans with a better understanding of copyright and the importance of artistic control.

So where does this leave Midnight Sun? My first feeling was that there was no way to continue. Writing isn't like math; in math, two plus two always equals four no matter what your mood is like. With writing, the way you feel changes everything. If I tried to write Midnight Sun now, in my current frame of mind, James would probably win and all the Cullens would die, which wouldn't dovetail too well with the original story. In any case, I feel too sad about what has happened to continue working on Midnight Sun, and so it is on hold indefinitely.

I'd rather my fans not read this version of Midnight Sun. It was only an incomplete draft; the writing is messy and flawed and full of mistakes. But how do I comment on this violation without driving more people to look for the illegal posting? It has taken me a while to decide how and if I could respond. But to end the confusion, I've decided to make the draft available here (at the end of this message on the Midnight Sun page). This way, my readers don't have to feel they have to make a sacrifice to stay honest. I hope this fragment gives you further insight into Edward's head and adds a new dimension to the Twilight story. That's what inspired me to write it in the first place.

I do want to take a moment and thank the wonderful fans who have been so supportive of me over the past three years. I cannot begin to tell you how much each of you means to me. I only hope this note will stop all the confusion and online speculation so that the Twilight universe can once again become the happy escape it used to be. After this incredibly busy year, I am now focusing on spending more time with my family and working on some other writing projects.

--Stephenie

I don't think I need to add much more than that.  Lol.  This is so bloody beautiful...Oh Smeyer...please to be going over there to cry upon your pile of ill-begotten millions.  We all know that that book is going to be finished and published eventually so that you can add to your dragon hoard of booty. 

Who else thinks that she's just waaaaahing for the sympathy and threatening to not provide any more crack so that everyone can forget about the epic fail that was Breaking Dawn and start kissing her ass again? *raises hand*

Edit:

And we get reactions from the Amazon Boards and the ♥ TwiMoms ♥. The ONTD comm weighs in on the situation.

And the NuttyMadam reacts. Though sorry, there's no vid this time since she took it down. But here, have a transcription of the lost vid, courtesy of aegflota

We are all a bunch of meanies hiding away in this little club house of ours.

Smeyer Ego stroking.

Bonus Snack: The Twimoms just cannot leave the poor boy alone!. There's wankiness in the second link, as the TwiMom in the picture appears and asks for her photo to be taken down. Also, Here is a step by step instruction manual on how to go about your Pretty Vampire Actors stalking, for you n00bs who have no idea how to go about it. It is illustrated and everything. The TwiMoms are nothing, if not thorough.

OH NOES YOU GUISE! They be calling the FBI on us!!! WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO?

Twilight is going to save our country from the evil lesbians so you'd better all stop dissing it!

Cleolinda Midnight Sun Commentary! Yay. Lol.

ETA:How do you gain respect for your much derided favorite author? Why, by starting an online petition for it, of course!

As you all know, we've had a lot of n00bs join fandom_wank recently, and we've been suffering some growing pains. Once again, we urge you to read our user info and learn about the rules and how to contact the mods and all the non-fun business.

Since we have so many new baby wankas, we need some help gently reminding the young ones (and some not so young ones) of the rules. We want you to be the FW Nannies, and help us guide our sweet n00bs through this harsh, wanky world. So, if you see any of the following things:

thoughts on yaoi
out of control boobie trains
excessive posting of recipes
unfunny macros
wank reenactment in the comments
trolling, trollbaiting, trollbiting, trip-trapping across my bridge
any random breaking of actual rules

please, feel free to use the comments of this post to tattle report to us. We've set up a new community for our baby wankas, fw_timeout to spend some time, if they are caught. Make sure you join!

Remember, this will make us a stronger community!

Apparently, braumsgirl26 of Customers Suck! fame has returned as selenafan27 and come to Bad RPers Suck. It starts out innocently enough, with our dear friend asking what a Mary Sue is, seen here: http://community.livejournal.com/bad_rpers_suck/4999066.html#comments

She trolls a bit

http://community.livejournal.com/bad_rpers_suck/5006139.html

http://community.livejournal.com/bad_rpers_suck/4999612.html

http://community.livejournal.com/bad_rpers_suck/4999843.html

http://community.livejournal.com/bad_rpers_suck/5002933.html

and seems to be losing interest. OR IS SHE!?

This evening, a beautiful example of caps-locked stupid is left us by selenafan27 Claus. It's already hit the triple digits and shows no signs of petering out.

http://community.livejournal.com/bad_rpers_suck/5039592.html

Witness the rain of macros! See the stunning vistas of LOLZORS! Hear the cries of EPIC TROLL!

If that's your thing. Me, Imma gonna drink my brandy and listen to the History of Sex on History Channel.

EDITED to bring you more of her glowing wit.

First wank, please be gentle! I got this from a mouse on wank report:

la_folle_allure (you all remember her from the "TALK TO MY GPA FUCKERS!" wank, right?) has decided that Jensen Ackles is a coke addict, and thinks if she repeats it enough, it will become fact, and strangely, other people seem convinced. She also is disgusted by Jensen's smoking habit, but since smoking=gay sex, she can live with it.

Inspired by la_folle_allure's successfully fabricated rumor, others in the fandom try their hand at it:

http://tvm.livejournal.com/61881.html

http://sevenfists.livejournal.com/62784.html

http://esorlehcar.livejournal.com/430684.html

http://annalazarus.livejournal.com/51301.html

http://ignipes.livejournal.com/135080.html

Man, that Jensen Ackles sure inspires batshit insanitydevotion in his fans.

Watch as a goofy Penny Arcade strip about D&D quickly inspires a discussion regarding the personal hygiene of gamers.

It's cute and benign (and there's stuff about text-based gaming in there, too).

EDIT: Fixed link.

It's on the main page! I'm asking!

What the heck is a BNF? And why do I see it everywhere?

fw_deathmatch has returned. And it seems there's been a change.

Edit: Uhm. JF ate any code I put in. Not sure what I did, there.

Edit 2: Juuuuust kidding. I am sure what I did, I typoed massively. Dur.

Pardon my plebeyness, but what is the story behind the "what the shit is this?" icons? I didn't see anything that explained it in the memories, and I'm curious, because it's really funny...

Following in the proud trandtion of Hpbnfdeathmatch and Lotrbnfdeath match...I give you....: Hlbnfdeathmatch

No wank really. But hell, its a slow day.

misconstrue posts in hp_graphics a few icons based on the infamous Phelps Twins get Introduced to Twincest wank.

6 comments in, nothing wanky, but the 6th comment starts towards wank country.

Keep any eye on it, folks.

Edit: There is no post here. It is all in your mind. Please move along -waves- byebye

I've been asked to post about this after the topic came up in multiple threads. If this needs to be moved or deleted just give me the word.

We keep seeing the questions about what an abrreviaton stands for or what a sockpuppet is, plain ole journal FAQ stuff, and newbies wondering about the history of in jokes. I have the time and have offered to make a site and/or journal for the answers to these questions and the space has been offered by Zee but there are differing opinions. So I'm bringing it to you.

If I do this site I'll have a my journal used for posting questions, answers to those questions, definitions, histories ect. (if not a new community on the side to keep things cleared up) I would like to have a list of all the wank related communities and I'd eventually try to index parts of Jurisimprudence. Also if certain things should be left out, the protest will be there too. Don't want people understanding dead from coke? Then we won't post it. Point is the content would be set by the wank communities for the wank communites. And even before that I'm asking you if we want/need this site.

Now I throughly enjoy The Big O so when Cartoon Network actually got a second season I was thrilled.

Till the utterly fucked it up.

Basically episode 26 was supposed to be shown tonight. It wasn't. For some reason ep 20 was.

Naturally the fans are pissed and [IMO] rightly so. The Adult Swim boards are flooded with wank though I'm having trouble deciding who's wankier, the fans or the network for screwing up so royally.

I provide a link to the boards but I think you can only be accesse it you're a member.

*UPDATE*

I just got info from my reliable sources [IE I was watching reruns of Futurama and Family Guy] that it wasn't intentional. Someone screwed up the lables of the tapes and was throughly beaten with a sack of hammers but they'll show the ep next Sunday.

Huzzah!

For anyone interested in more v.v heterosexual Cat-Boy wank, I present to you:

The Moods Of Eriku: A Photo-Essay

Some of the photo captions:

Note, I never wear my shirt late at night, hehe.

I groom, yes. Just my hands though, and usually right after I've eaten ^.^;

After losing a horrible game in Half-Life, I feel miserable and decide to go to bed.

I think that's all that needs to be said, really...