From wank_report:

Someone has decided that enough is enough, and it is now time to cleanse the Pit of Voles FF.net of all that ails it. And that someone is the Literate Union! Motto: "well here are the people who are going to give it anyways!"

"It", apparently, being concrit or flaming. You know, whichever you prefer.

"The LU -- The Literate Union -- is a society that helps to improve the quality of stories on FanFiction that either break the rules or are poorly written. In the case of the latter, we try to help the author, bringing their piece up to standard. Difficult cases are reported to the admins."

( And we got to go in with our hydraulic system, and blast him out! )

Brought to you by wank_report!

Clan Mitchell is a Dreamwidth community revolving around the fictional Mitchell family, which appears to be a huge group of people who live in the Carolinas under the administration of a matriarch named Momma, generally serve in some branch of the U.S. military, and/or operate under a general curtain of good ol' American values, get-well-pies, and care packages.

Motto: "The Mitchells will inherit the earth: the meek don't move fast enough."

From the profile:

"So ivorygates and synecdochic made up a bunch of crazy Southern relatives, and the "Fuck Canon, Fanon Makes More Sense, Dammit" club (meetings on alternate Tuesdays, free t-shirts at the recruiting tables, bring your own beer but the cookies are free) firmly believes that "Kansas, my ass" is the best way to approach Cameron Mitchell's home life, and, well, there should be more fic about these people!

Not necessarily a shared-continuity set of stories -- use as much or as little as you'd like -- but a shared-character-list and a place for people to build a shared-world. Grab a Mitchell and start writing. Resistance is futile! You will be assimilated. And probably baked for."

( It all starts with a ficprompt... )
ETA: Revenge of the Sith: cap including the offending fic.

Holy ETA, Batman: (thanks, mousie)
"When someone has put in a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to create an absolutely beautiful sandbox to play in (a sandbox that they love very very much), and then not only allows you to come in and play in their sandbox, but graciously opens the door and INVITES you in, you don't shit in the sandbox. You don't. M'kay? Good."

We can't stop here, this is ETA country: It's time for the public address roll, looks like. From eilan:
* slybrarian calls for fair and balanced.
* quinfirefrorefiddle & co. are appalled at F_W's lack of journalistic integrity.
* Synecdochic's state of the union, and also ivorygates is banned. Or left. Either way, she's not a mod any more.

A Slytherfan terri_testing writes an essay The Wizarding World and the Otherworld, where she argues that Harry Potter books are horror, not fantasy and that Hogwarts is like the school where the Native American children were brainwashed:

( Read more )

The essay provokes a chorus of "I agree"s and complaints about JKR's treatment of Snape:

mary_j_59 (see "Good night, sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!")

This is brilliant, Terri! And absolutely consistent. You know, my sister and I went to hear Rowling, Irving and King in NYC, and we both liked John Irving (reading from Owen Meany) best. Now the reason is clear. Rowling is actually a horror writer, like King, and I do not like horror. Still less do I like horror disguised as a children's fantasy quest. Irving, on the other hand, was writing in the great tradition of picaresque novels - a tragicomedy with a moral core.

But what I still wonder is: did (and does) Rowling know that she has actually written a dystopion/horror story? Somehow I don't think she realizes this.

condwiramurs/00sevvie

I second the 'brilliant' comment. And I highly doubt Rowling is aware of what she has actually written. She is too utterly blind to the reasons we like Severus, for example, to have any clue that she may have written something different from what her perfect picture of her work in her head is. I'm sure she thinks we're just getting it 'wrong.'

oryx_leucoryx (see Cry the Beloved Slytherins)

So if Severus Snape actually survived Nagini's bite, returned to the Muggle world and became some kind of counselor to delinquent youth or someone who runs an anti-bullying program (by working both with victims and perpetrators) he would be a hero with a rather protracted but complete journey? Starting out as the victim of neighborhood bullies (I doubt Petunia was the only one who knew that the strangely dressed kid was the Snape boy from Spinner's End) who must have dreamed that magic would solve his problems, learned that magic simply gave bullies more dangerous/'interesting' ways to hurt people, played a key role in getting rid of the biggest bully in the magical playground and came home to use non-magical ways against bullies?
***
bohemian_spirit has some fics in that general direction - in her 'Light Between the Cracks' series Severus Snape of canon years was secretly married to a Muggle school teacher and while at his Muggle home watched over the neighborhood children. And in her 'Professor Grunge' Severus immigrates to the US instead of joining the Death Eaters. He studies at a wizarding university and becomes a teacher who fights bullying and uses music to assist in magical healing.

But the real fun starts when night_train_fm decides to argue with terri_testing and says, among other things:

'Hermione exiling her parents to Australia'
She did that because she was terrified (with good reason) of the DEs coming after them: Voldemort was taking over the government, had already ordered several public mass-Muggle-killings, and anyone remotely connected to Harry was a potential target. According to Jo, Hermione reversed the spell ASAP once the threat was over. For that matter, is it ever outright stated that she didn't sit down and discuss it with them first?

That doesn't go well.

( Hermione is teh ebil! )

The latest episode of Cheap Ass Gamer's CAGcast podcast featured a segment where host Cheapy D railed about all the rumors originating on video game forums that make their way to gaming blogs as legitimate news (this starts around the 50:48 mark if you want to listen for yourself - thanks to cloudandtidus on LJ for the info). He complains that since online game journalists are paid by the post and typically have a quota, they have an incentive to post rumors, no matter how dubious the source. Then co-host Wombat makes the following proposal (transcribed as best I could):

Wombat: This is what I think, I think our listeners need to do. I think they need to post things in our forums (...) that, that are complete bullshit, and see if it gets picked up by the blogs (...) And if someone gets picked up, I think you should send them a free game.
(some chuckling)
Wombat: A free game of their choice.
Cheapy: Yeah, I will do that. Well, okay (...) I'm not gonna encourage that, but Wombat will.
Wombat: (...) That's fine, I'll arrange the contest, you'll pay for the prize. So what you need to do is you need to go into the game forums on Cheap Ass Gamer, and post something that is completely made up. Now if one of the three major blogs - we'll say Joystiq, Kotaku, and Destructoid - if they post it as legitimate news, then - Cheapy (...) if you make two, we wanna say two of the three?
Cheapy: Any.
Wombat: Any one of the three, you will get a free game of your choosing from Cheapy D, of a $60 value or lower.
Cheapy: Or if you get it to hit on Digg. Actually, no, I'm against this contest, so you have to say that, Wombat.
Wombat: Or get it to hit a lot on Digg.

So, with the contest in place, CAGcast's listeners start posting all manner of fake rumors. One such rumor is desz's "XBOX's New Name?". It's notable that even the earliest few comments on the post strongly hint at its fakeness, but, as if proving Wombat's point, several well-known gaming/tech blogs do pick it up. Among them are Xbox 360 Fanboy (correction since appended) and Gizmodo (correction since appended), but some of the biggest butthurt came from Kotaku.

( CAG has lost all credibility as a reliable news source! )

ETA: Cheapy D speaks about the whole kerfluffle.

EDIT: In light of the more recent wank involving FH and Laura, the links to her site have been removed.

Secret post that started it all. Specifically Secret 130.

It's an attack! But, don't worry about taking it down - I'll just try to divert attention to Michela instead. Looks like someone's never forgiven FanHistory either, and lays all the blame on Michela even though it seems other moderators there were involved.

ataniell93: There's no reason for you to know about me - that's why I repeatedly posted in this topic while signed in

SO RIGHT.

Leave Britney ataniell93 alone!

Here we finally see the truth: F_W hates me because I'm better than them!

Fail. The main reason F_W dislikes me is that I used to be part of F_W because some of my friends liked it, and then I saw that what F_W does is wrong, and instead of slinking quietly off into the dark and trying to forget it, I denounced the community. Period. I will never be forgiven for that, but I don't care, because it's not like I'm forgiving F_W next week. I still think who some of my friends are is part of the issue, but the main issue is that you all resent me for eating the red pill and waking up to what we were doing.

I guess we're all still in the Matrix.


And a personal note: Can one really be a part of F_W? It's not like we're Anonymous or anything.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

JKR hates gay people

Because if you don't put gay characters in your books, you're reinforcing the heteronormative oppression. Or something like that.

And more whining about the lack of gay characters.

ETA: And fabularasa's post has been flocked. Woefuls.

But! lierdumoa hates the book because JKR says bestiality is the same as homosexuality!

And screens of fabularasa's post, with page two. Thank you, gethsemane and finferwen!