From wank_report:

Someone has decided that enough is enough, and it is now time to cleanse the Pit of Voles FF.net of all that ails it. And that someone is the Literate Union! Motto: "well here are the people who are going to give it anyways!"

"It", apparently, being concrit or flaming. You know, whichever you prefer.

"The LU -- The Literate Union -- is a society that helps to improve the quality of stories on FanFiction that either break the rules or are poorly written. In the case of the latter, we try to help the author, bringing their piece up to standard. Difficult cases are reported to the admins."

( And we got to go in with our hydraulic system, and blast him out! )

midnight_charm just can't stop wanking. She apparently figured her convoluted theories were too much for poor LiveJournal to handle, and she moved to a brand new blog.

But first, she left this gem at her journal:

( You have been the victim of a mind control experiment. Alan Ball is actually that chick from V )


So, now with the blog. ( The characters have multiple personality disorders. True Blood really is fucked up, man :O )

BONUS: You also can't miss Bill fans are like rabid Bush or Ann Coulter supporters.

ETA: The crazy takes a whole new level with Sookie is USA and Eric is Jesus (thanks to mariem_1 for the find!)

ETA II: Hey guys, it's me again. This is from the About page of her blog:

While I adore reading and contemplating film theory and criticism I am far from a qualified expert in the field. My admittedly amateur forte is and has been for some time in the area of conspiracy research- sussing out propaganda and official lies with it’s attendant psyops and mind control techniques which are practiced on the unsuspecting population through the corporate controlled medium of television. I QUESTION EVERYTHING I am told and I diligently apply this motto to my analysis of True Blood. My rigorous intuition tells me Alan Ball is well versed in conspiracy lore and is using it to the hilt to tell the story of True Blood.

“The media’s the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that’s power. Because they control the minds of the masses.”
-Malcolm X

First True Blood wank!! *is excited*

Here I present you: midnight_charm's crazy shipping theories.


( Bill Compton, the Lord of the Rings )

( YOU ALL HAVE BEEN FOOLED. This is what REALLY happened at the beginning of episode 9 )

ETA: I added some more explanations for our non-True Blood fans :). My additions to the quotes are in [].

First attempt at posting, although I've been barracking from the sidelines for about a millennium now ...

astolat posts A Matter Of Inconvenience, which is American Idol slashfic (Kris/Adam) with a 'Regency' setting. At least, that's the general idea, and harmless enough you would have thought - assuming that AI AU RPS is your thing. (Alphabet soup!)

zvi, however, takes exception. Amongst other objections, A Matter of Inconvenience is not about race, thoughtlessly invokes colonial issues, and just doesn't put up any warning flags for those who are about to read it. Also, apparently, this is a thing Astolat fucked up. Everybody, please to endeavor not to fuck up like that with your next happy fun sexytimes historical.

What starts off as moderately polite discussion about historicity in slash fanfiction is, however, quickly derailed by willow who offers the following reasoned evaluation: In the middle of the cuppa tea, the empire waist dresses and the ass-sex of your AU Regency - please to be remembering the hydra heads of colonialism and imperialism and what that means for and about your whitey white penis salt lick fan thought of the moment.

liviapenn tries to calm things down a bit with some entertaining stuff about plumbers and blow jobs but this only serves to upset willow further. Why is it that everytime I see you lately, you're happily shoving your foot into your mouth via your hindquarters? ... You keep claiming to understand your privilege and say you're reflecting on it and then you start chomping that feces encrusted shoe leather again. willow's User Info states "'M brown and I have an attitude." No kidding.

astolat's attempt to explain herself gets stomped on, and the desirability of historical accuracy in a Kris/Adam Regency alternate universe is lathered, rinsed and repeated for those who missed it the first time.

Small, but strangely vitriolic given the subject matter. It's difficult to imagine why people are getting quite so over-excited about one piece of costumed fluff in a universe of lesbian cars and tentacle porn, but it may keep us entertained while we're waiting for next incarnation of VB.

ETA: Okay, I get the message, I got it wrong - or maybe I just don't have a sense of humour? Either way, it was obviously a bad call. Lesson learned.

Meet Lironess, a person of such stunning perfection that she feels confident, nay obliged, to point out the shortcomings of others. Constantly.

When she's not diagnosing diseases over the internet, she's apparently advocating approaching strangers at cons with skin diseases to ask them:

"OMG What the hell is wrong with your skin?"

Yeah, not even kidding*.

Unfortunately no one told betnoir that icky diseased people exist solely as teaching moments for the beautiful people, and that she better learn to live with it or else spend the rest of her life in misery. Luckily for her then, that lironess is here to explain it to her.

The spat lands in sf_drama, where lironess baleeted her most offensive comments (though considering what's left - just WOW) and apparently whole threads if bizarro goodness like handing out condoms to furries, and horse sex, and her inability to spell freak. she then demonstrates her utter lack of getting teh internets, as well as proving that there really isn't a maximum fail quota per post.

After calling like, everyone, a coward or accusing them of hiding (for commenting in an unlocked post in a very public community? huh?) lironess prepares her flounce by calling betnoir (and everyone else) out. As in, *cue scareh music* she can FIND people:

"It has been fun to watch you all hide on a community and make your statements thinking I would not see and reply. However, I can find all of you, any where."

betnoir names a place and time.

but yanno, it's waaaay to far, plus it'd be a hassle and betnoir's fucking parents would sue and it would be a big mess and lironess doesn't care enough to bother. Or something.



*I debated if this should be in UNF because disability!fail = so fucking unfunny, plus there's bonus!fail on both sides, but for sheer overwhelming WTF wankiness I think it belongs here.

C&P'd from wank_report:

"The original post was deleted, but there's caps a'plenty at sf_drama. These are probably the most complete: http://pics.livejournal.com/halrenna/pic/000e0zr0

So. chiibiusa, co-mod of sm_secrets, announces in sailormoonfans that she's thinking of shutting down the comm (at least temporarily, but possibly for good), because there aren't enough secrets being submitted, and she's tired of it. The first commenter, tenchichan, suggests that chiibiusa needs to calm down.

DON'T. TELL. CHIIBIUSA. TO. CALM. DOWN.

Cue raeg, increasingly incoherent responses, a small amount of "OMG don't leave us we love you!" fangirling, and some sighs from people who thought their comm had outgrown this shit.

Then the whole thing hits sf_drama: http://community.livejournal.com/sf_drama/2556609.html?page=1#comments

Bringing chiibiusa with it: http://community.livejournal.com/sf_drama/2556609.html?thread=404234945#t404234945

She is STILL replying to comments left on the sf_d post, as well as randomly friending comm members. There are rumors of a post waiting in the sf_d mod queue, presumably telling us all how gullible we are for falling for her trolling, and how we've all been lol!pwnd! There's been a few comments from people who claim to know her and say that this is really unlike her, so it's possible that this is all leading up to the classic "I GOT HACKED!" defense."

ETA! Chiibiusa flounces: "i amno longer updating this journal from now until ever. and 'ever' is subjective is until i am ready to open it back up again."

Aptly, she's back for more. I guess in the recession, the exchange rate for 'ever' is approximately 45 minutes.

ETA 2: Oh, lordy, more posts. Courtesy of sistrelwood.

ETA 3: *facepalm* First rule of fight club, y'all.

A Slytherfan terri_testing writes an essay The Wizarding World and the Otherworld, where she argues that Harry Potter books are horror, not fantasy and that Hogwarts is like the school where the Native American children were brainwashed:

( Read more )

The essay provokes a chorus of "I agree"s and complaints about JKR's treatment of Snape:

mary_j_59 (see "Good night, sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!")

This is brilliant, Terri! And absolutely consistent. You know, my sister and I went to hear Rowling, Irving and King in NYC, and we both liked John Irving (reading from Owen Meany) best. Now the reason is clear. Rowling is actually a horror writer, like King, and I do not like horror. Still less do I like horror disguised as a children's fantasy quest. Irving, on the other hand, was writing in the great tradition of picaresque novels - a tragicomedy with a moral core.

But what I still wonder is: did (and does) Rowling know that she has actually written a dystopion/horror story? Somehow I don't think she realizes this.

condwiramurs/00sevvie

I second the 'brilliant' comment. And I highly doubt Rowling is aware of what she has actually written. She is too utterly blind to the reasons we like Severus, for example, to have any clue that she may have written something different from what her perfect picture of her work in her head is. I'm sure she thinks we're just getting it 'wrong.'

oryx_leucoryx (see Cry the Beloved Slytherins)

So if Severus Snape actually survived Nagini's bite, returned to the Muggle world and became some kind of counselor to delinquent youth or someone who runs an anti-bullying program (by working both with victims and perpetrators) he would be a hero with a rather protracted but complete journey? Starting out as the victim of neighborhood bullies (I doubt Petunia was the only one who knew that the strangely dressed kid was the Snape boy from Spinner's End) who must have dreamed that magic would solve his problems, learned that magic simply gave bullies more dangerous/'interesting' ways to hurt people, played a key role in getting rid of the biggest bully in the magical playground and came home to use non-magical ways against bullies?
***
bohemian_spirit has some fics in that general direction - in her 'Light Between the Cracks' series Severus Snape of canon years was secretly married to a Muggle school teacher and while at his Muggle home watched over the neighborhood children. And in her 'Professor Grunge' Severus immigrates to the US instead of joining the Death Eaters. He studies at a wizarding university and becomes a teacher who fights bullying and uses music to assist in magical healing.

But the real fun starts when night_train_fm decides to argue with terri_testing and says, among other things:

'Hermione exiling her parents to Australia'
She did that because she was terrified (with good reason) of the DEs coming after them: Voldemort was taking over the government, had already ordered several public mass-Muggle-killings, and anyone remotely connected to Harry was a potential target. According to Jo, Hermione reversed the spell ASAP once the threat was over. For that matter, is it ever outright stated that she didn't sit down and discuss it with them first?

That doesn't go well.

( Hermione is teh ebil! )

In Part III, we saw what happened when Lady Sybilla tried to tangle with the Twilight Lexicon mods for the last time (they banned her), and watched in awe as Wikipedia users worked "around the clock" to get her Russet Noon article deleted. You can still find "The Wikipedia Wars" linked on the Russet Noon website, but you'll have to scroll down past...

The FanHistory Wars.A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away....

Artistic revolution (who, for reasons which will become blatantly obvious, is a suspected sockpuppet of Lady Sybilla) edited the shit out of the Russet Noon fanhistory page. Artistic revolution has a pretty one-track mind, it would appear. Or two-track, if you count Lady Sybilla as a separate topic.

In the midst of all those edits, there was no shortage of information about me, Sybilla's own favorite "stalkarazzo." (I know I'm her favorite, she says so herself on the Russet Noon website.) The following information is culled from the Revision as of 00:27, 21 April 2009 version of the page.

Although Caito posted the email text on one of her many Journalfen pages, her only acknowledgment of Sybilla's concerns was: "I'm totally over this email business. I have a spam filter and I intend to use it. If someone wants to continue discussing this shiz, she can do so in the comments like everybody else." Strange reaction given that Caito's Whois record for her site openly discloses her gmail address:

At this point, Artistic revolution somehow thought it was appropriate to include my mailing address and contact information. Yes, in the middle of the article for Russet Noon. But that's not all! She did go on. I bolded my favorite parts!

More recently, Caito provided us with a video example of how the attention-whoring for which she mocks Sybilla is more contagious than a disease. Ironically, while she spends her valuable time making fun of the ''Russet Noon'' author for trying to exploit Stephenie Meyer's popularity, Caito, too, seems to be riding the wave of the ''Russet Noon'' obsession. And she does so quite gracefully. If it weren't for Caito, ''Russet Noon'' would have never achieved taboo status.

... On April 3, 2009, LadySybilla emailed Caito and asked her to stop her "online stalking activities." On this email, Sybilla warned, "If you don't, I will notify as many administrators as I have to until they take action." Sybilla then contacted the Journalfen technical support team to ask how she could contact an administrator in order to report libelous accusations posted by some of their users. But, instead of responding to Sybilla's concerns, the JournalFen support team (if, in fact, there is one) forwarded a copy of the email to Caito. This incident may or may not prompt internet users to wonder about the legitimacy of Journalfen. Is Journalfen an actual company? If it is, who are the tech support staff and/or administrators behind it?

... Judging by the look of things, it won't be Sybilla who will be profiting off of ''Russet Noon'' sales after all. Let's see what happens when Caito and her BFFs at Twilight Lexicon get their hands on a copy of the novel in September.

All that has since been nuked from the actual FanHistory page, and replaced with more evenhanded material. People here at FW went a little flaily for a bit, as a software snafu made it appear as though FH mod Sidewinder had been the one to add my personal info when she'd really just meant to take it down.*

Then the mods brought the hurt down on Artistic revolution, who has been banned from editing the wiki for two whole weeks! She's really sorry, though, guys. Please stop throwing stones at her, and let her catapult boulders at others in peace.

But it's not like Artistic revolution has been the only one tooling with it, either. Some anons got in and tweaked it ever so slightly, like changing the story summary simply to "OH JOHN RINGO NO!" Editing the Russet Noon article is temporarily locked to admins, due to anon vandalizing and a neutrality dispute.

Personal notes:

1. I do not know what end anyone would hope to achieve by posting my address.
2. I'm not BFFs or even BFs or even just Fs with the TwiLex mods, but I sure do like them more than I like Lady Sybilla.
3. I have no clue how I would stand to profit from anything having to do with Russet Noon.
4. I have no idea who Lee Thomas even is.

*Aside to FanHistory folks: Thanks. I really appreciate what you did. Do me one more solid? I did respond to Lady Sybilla's concerns about my "accusations", but I guess it got lost in the epic wave of comments. Like I said before, Lady Sybilla is welcome to come engage me in comments, but as far as I know she has yet to do so. Muchos gracias.

ETA: Artistic revolution rides forth on teal deer to appeal to Laura's professionalism.

ETA 2: Laura responds!

ETA 3: The Russet Noon website is now basically a hate shrine dedicated to me and FH mod Sidewinder, complete with Photoshopped screencaps of me interacting with people I've never actually interacted with. Oh, and also my contact information.

You know, I'm starting to get the feeling that she doesn't take criticism very well.

ETA 4: From Artistic revolution's usertalk page:

I'm not interested in antagonizing you. You have been objective, but I still have to insist that Sidewinder, whoever she is, hasn't been. She might not have the same IP address as Caito, but her editing patterns are dubious. I have listed the evidence on my website because I'm blocked from doing so here. If I'm not allowed to edit the article, then at least Sidewinder should also be prevented from tampering with it any further.

All in all, as I said before, I'm not interested in antagonizing you. Based on your reasons for why Wikipedia blacklisted FH, I know you can understand how I feel in regards to Russet Noon. I have seen that your procedures reflect professionalism. This is why I appealed to that.

I sincerely apologized to both you and Tikatu, but never received a reply. At least at Wikipedia they lifted the ban. Sure, they deleted the article, but they were reasonable enough to lift the ban. I'm sorry if the procedure I followed to try to negotiate with you guys was not what you expected.

I would much rather have you delete the Russet Noon article altogether than to continue with this conflict. Once again, it is not my intention to antagonize you.

So, yeah, Artistic revolution is almost certainly Lady Sybilla.

ETA 5: The hate shrine is now down from the Russet Noon site. It's been replaced with a paragraph about how "the wars have ceased" and the rest is now ostensibly about the fanfic again.

ETA 4-24 7:22am Tokyo time: In case anyone was wondering how Lady Sybilla was taking the news about Peter David's community parody-in-progress, here's the reaction from her twitter:

# it's an honor even though it's a satire, because Peter David is a very seasoned writer
4 minutes ago from web

# many fanfic writers of the net will be uniting to write Potato Moon. The creator is comic book author Peter David
4 minutes ago from web

# let's hope this communal novel will inspire many more to come. I'd love to see a serious thriller or drama like this
7 minutes ago from web

# communal novels are a new genre, there are not many of them that I know of. I'm very curious to read Potato Moon.
8 minutes ago from web

# I'm very proud to announce that Russet Noon has inspired a very unique parody, Potato Moon. It's a communal novel
8 minutes ago from web

The Russet Noon website has also changed. It no longer makes mention of any "wars" whatsoever.

ETA 7: "You are invited to read our latest press release, "Lady Sybilla: The Darth Vader of Fandom."* It appears that Russet Noon has already achieved taboo status without having even been released yet. That's what happens when a Darth Vader figure like Lady Sybilla is created. And now she's found a worthy opponent: Peter David."

*That link goes to a c&p in my journal. To view the original (and give LS more hits) click here.

ETA 8: Her tweeting continues, c&ped here.

ETA 9: The first part of Potato Moon is up... I have a FanHistory page now, and actually I kind of like it, especially the graphic and its caption... and yes, my little lolcats, you can has more ONTD.

ETA 10: She just updated the Russet Noon site again (screencapped here), linking to the articles that appeared on Comicmix and IMDB. (Except her IMDB link actually goes here, where you have to scroll down halfway down the page the relevant blurb.)

ETA 11: Peter David's Potato Moon has its own Wikipedia page! It is a thing of true beauty and you will never, ever guess who started it. But to avoid the situation that occurred the last time she wrote articles on Wikipedia, she's asked another user to edit the Potato Moon article for her. And he is (adding links to the Potato Moon blog entries, at least)! He just wants to know more about who AV Paranormal is. This should go well, I think.

ETA 12: She's linked to something on the Wall Street Journal site now. What the lemonfresh hell?

Lady Sybilla put out another press release. She also showed up at the Twilight Lexicon again, since that went so well the last time. (When the formatting gets hard to read, check it here.)

(Fanhistory links are all nofollow.)

After her Wikipedia article was deleted (you can go to the Russet-Noon webpage for more information), Lady Sybilla edited the shit out of the Russet Noon Fanhistory page all by her lonesome (despire Laura Hale asking around on Bebo whether anyone else had anything to contribute).

And in case your blog entry about the whole affair shows up there, I'm sorry. Lady Sybilla farmed the Russet Doom Supplementary Links Collection and changed my format a little to make the attention seem less wholly negative.

Oh also I put together an entry in my journal with links to screencaps and transcriptions and things, for quick and easy reference. 

Once upon a time in the magical land of YouTube, there was a Scottish Youtuber who got bored one night . Turning on her camera and pressing the record button, she sat on her arse to praise the latest work of the almighty Stephenie Meyer, the next best thing since JK Rowling.

She was rather stout with a squared jaw and rectangular shaped eyes. Her hair was a silky brown in colour, straight and thin, shining under her lantern's light. After a few seconds of nasty glares and emo stares, our Scottish Youtuber goes on to make her announcement of just how disappointed she is with fans; going on to patronise the whole fanbase on just how pathetic they really are, not realising the irony of her statements.

Quoth she in a patronising tone while staring closely into the camera:

"How can you act like this? After reading that amaaaaaaazing book, not shit! not boring! not glorified fanfiction, A-MAAZING BOOK! I'ma say it real clear: A-MA-ZING BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK! You've been waiting for what? A year? And you've been thinking of how wonderful it's going to be, and DYING to get your hands on it, cause it's going to be soooo good! And then you complain about it? Because it's not what you wanted?

She briefly blew a small gust of wind into her hair, so as to keep her bangs from falling further into her eyes.

"Since when do you get what you want by complaining, you ungrateful little turd?" she enquires with a tone of anger in her voice "Yeah, I'm talking to you! You who is watching this! If you have ever complained about Breaking Dawn because it wasn't what you wanted it to be: I'ma just go this real slow for you, because your brain obviously isn't working right now, because you're being STUPID thinking that its not very good anyway, okay?

"Number One: Stephenie Meyer is a GENIUS! Ya-HA, Ya-HA, okay? She rocks! She wrote Twilight, she wrote New Moon, she wrote Eclipse and you loved them!"

Not even going halfway through her video, her fellow viewers stopped and said:

"Fat FAT FAT FAT You are fat."

Another said:

"Please tell me, why all the Twilight fans are stupid, fat girls?"

And another:

"I think YOU'RE overreacting. You couldn't pay me to read that shit again. Maybe one day you'll develop literary taste and you'll realize how godawful Breaking Dawn was -- no, how godawful EVERY book after Twilight was, and that srs bsns people like you have been acting as Stephenie Meyer's cash cows for the past 3 years. Smeyer's sun tanning on her yacht right now that YOU helped pay for, laughing her ass off at the teenies who believe whatever bullshit she spoonfeeds them."

But best of all. one said:

"THIS. ISN'T. SPARRRRTAAAAA!
You're allowed to have your opinion. The 'haters' are allowed to have theirs.
Deal with it. Stop being so insane over a book.
Y SO SRS BSNS? "

But fortunately to her support one kind soul said:

"I personally loved the book! Although I do think that weather people loved it or hated it they should be able to share their opinions, I do have a problem with people who take it to ridiculous extreems. I hope that after a while things will cool down and everyone can just get over all this drama. I loved all the books and will just try to ignore all the negative feedback. Also, coming from an American I would just like to say that Fuckwit is the most awesome swear word I have ever heard.lol!"

Like the broken clock that used to tick next to me, the vast majority of commentors just went "wankity-wank, wankity-wank, wankity-wank-wank" and occasionally one with a high enough level of oestrogen would go "squee-squee-squee, squeekity sqee! with joy! at the girl who defended Stephie and her literary classics!"

This goes on for a while as tradition has it, and then along came an anonymouse to report the wankage at wank_report

I'm ready for my award now for best break-through narrative of 2008.

[EDIT]:Oh yes, I forgot to point out that like the big bad wolf, this one also huffs and puffs, but didn't succeed in blowing down the house. But she did however manage to have a sadgasm somewhere in between her huffing and her acid trip when Renessme(sp?) supposedly gave her "visions". She also stated that "real vampires poop and wee on you", assuming of course she has come across real ones in her lifetime, and they didn't actually pop out of Stephenie Meyer's books during her state of emotional high. Thank you anonymous!

Mucho gracias to the folks over on wank_report. AND A SPOILER WARNING WITH EXTRA SPARKLES FOR TWILIGHT FANS. I suggest Twilight fans who actually care that much about being spoiled avoid this post like the plague.

( Why do I feel we've been through this before? )
ETA: Fixed the tag on the last link. Sorry, folks.
ETA3: A support request was entered by someone claiming to be from a law firm, claiming to represent the publishing group with a pretty much standard letter that has been going around like a strain of herpes to people leaking the book or even discussing spoilers (julian_black explains exactly why here). I don't think intellectual property laws work that way.

( text can be found here )


Other posts concerning the leaks can be found here and a twilight_news (thanks to hooloovoo_too). Possible confirmation of some of the spoilers has also sparked more wank over here.

There's some more fun over at ontd (the macros start on page 2). The OP itself only concerns the movie, but that doesn't stop people from wanking over the spoilers.

ETA4: system is love.

( Go System! )

And there's now been blurry confirmation on spoilers (thanks to miraba).

ETA5: Ok, guys, lay off the Mormons or I'm going to have to ask you to get out of the pool. I really, really, REALLY hate to quote mcity but plz no Mormon bashing. Let's have some class.

ETA6: SMeyer allegedly wrote a parody version of Breaking Dawn according to this EW article (thanks to greenconverses).

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Super Junior is a super sized South Korean boyband with an incredibly fanatic fanbase.

Their fanclub, known as E.L.F, has in the past driven a teenaged girl to suicide through internet harassment after she was photographed with one of the Super Junior members.

Things were quiet...for a while. And then the group's second album was released, and the video of their first single 'Don't Don' debuted. Don't Don featured a break dancing, violin playing Canadian Chinese kid named Henry Lau, a new trainee of SuJu's record label.

At first everyone loved little Henry. The boards were flooded with comments of how cool he was,and how people couldn't wait for him to debut in his own group. And then the boss man of SM entertainment dropped the news: Henry Lau would become a part of a new Super Junior sub-group that would focus on the Chinese market.   Sub -groups within the thirteen member  Super Junior wasn't new: there were already two others, but the E.L.Fs were not pleased with the news.

The addition of a new member to SuJu made them fear that the band would turn into nothing more than a project group. Like Morning Musume, with rotating members, and older ones graduating to make way for newer, cuter idols.

So the fans let their displeasure be known through little things at first. During live performances, while Henry's playing his violin solo, they would shout 'Only 13'. They started an only 13 website, with catchy little phrases like '13+1=0, 13-1=0" etc.

Then, when it became clear that meanie SM had no intention of listening to a bunch of whiny little teenagers, hundreds of them staged protests in front of the company's building. They staged several of them, in fact. The first one was a silent protest, in the second, they sang SuJu songs over and over and over again.

When that didn't work, they decided to launch the 'One Fan, One Stock Campaign'. They are now buying stocks in the company in the hopes of taking over and keeping SuJu 13 forever! To date, out of 160 million shares, the fans now own .3%

Then April 8, Super Junior- Mandarin debuted with 5 old Super Junior members, and not one but TWO new members. I still think that Father SM added in the second newbie just to piss the fans off even further. 

So far, Super Junior Mandarin's group blog has been so badly deluged with ONLY 13 messages that the commenting system has been turned off. Within HOURS of the release of their first single's music video fans had edited it to cut out the two new members.

And now finally, E.L.F is organizing a mass, world-wide boycott of the Super Junior - Mandarin album. Instead of buying the SuJu-M album, true fans are asked to buy copies of the original Super Junior's first two albums. I'm not sure how this can be considered something that SM entertainment will consider 'bad', since they'll be making money out of the masses spending their money on their artist's merchandise...but whatever...Hey, it's a better plan than buying company stocks, right?

Gaia Online's Comic Discussion Forum is actually a fairly sane place to talk about comics. Most of the posters are pretty intellegent fans who have actually lucid and clear ideas on the books they read.

But naturally, there are some exceptions....

One subject has come up that has brought out the trolls like a goat carcass on a bridge. It's spawned a lot of talk and rancor, especially on the part of one poster, who role plays Spiderman.

What has brought out such vile?

Marvel's Civil War or World War hulk? No

DC's Countdown? No

It is in fact, Squirrel Girl that has generated all this hatred....

Assuming DOOM (TM) has not descended on the forums in the wake of a god awful prank by the mods, hopefully this gets posted. *crosses fingers*

Anyway,  ladies and gentlemen, I'd like for you to meet SKaze. SKaze asks  members at animenation a rather heartfelt question:

"How do your feelings towards anime characters of the other sex compare with your feelings towards real people?"


  ( LJ-cut to protect the sane )

I'm kinda iffy on posting since this is 5 months old (Wank doesn't come with a printed expiration date, alas) but I think I kinda got the greenlight for this from fw_debate, so Wank-A-Go!

After a fun little marathon of all three X Men movies, I decided to wander teh intrawebs to see if there would be an X Men 4 in the foreseeable future.

What I found was the intranets take on the Magic Of Movie Making. Basically what the fans would do with the movies. But these fans.. They're special. (if you click on the link, you also get a part of the screen with a delicious little Blood And Chocolate trailer, so if you're at work turn the volume down.)

And it only gets better if you've never read the comics. Like me. We have aliens, clones, time travelers, and Angelina Jolie playing Magneto's daughter.

Everything FROM ANGRY CAPS LOCK OF RAGE AGAINST TEH GAMBIT H8TRS to suggestions of Orlando Bloom to play Gambit and PEOPLE DECIDING WHO TO BE HIRED BY HOLLYWOOD TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE MOVIES AND CLEARLY THEY ONLY NOMINATE THEMSELVES FOR THEIR CREDENTIALS AND FAME. (Caps not mine, swear.)


We also have people blaming teh stoopid on men.

( This is worse than an IMDB forum.. )


What I really like is when people start writing their own X4:


( But what if Jean grey were braught back by the clones of the aliens who are actually Gambit who is actually Heath Ledger? )


What I really, really liked was the fan casting; Gambit especially seemed to be a favorite. Actually, You know what? Let me make as list. People who should play Gambit as told by these fans:

1) Heath Ledger
2) Orlando Bloom
3) Brad Pitt
4) Ben Affleck

Ofcourse, not everyone agrees, and they have no quelms ABOUT STATING LOUDLY SO SEVERAL TIMES!!1111!

Now, I don't read the comics so I have no idea who Gambit is, but with suggestions like these I'm getting a pretty interesting idea.

I just wanted to know if there's any possibility of Jean Grey coming back and she and Wolverine having teh hawt Hugh Jackman Sex0rz! Imagine my dissapointment when looking to the Xmen comics for a good Wolverine/Jean fix. FYI, the actual Wolverine? No Hugh Jackman.

What's great about all this is if you had told me 3 or 4 months ago that I would be posting x men wank to fandom_wank, I would not have believed you if you paid me. Oh, ironyXmen. What can I say? I was corrupted by the horseFunneyz

Anyone remember Transformers KISS? No? I envy you.

At any rate, there is wank once again. A thread on it was made about two months ago, and was reasonably peaceful because people had a sense of humor about it. Yay sane fans.

The wank doesn't start until page ten, with this phrase.

"Transforming combat robots that get their powers from molesting underage girls. I think that sums up Japanese culture better than anything else possibly could"

Since when is this kind of racist crap OK on RPG.net?

I think my Japanese friends and family members might have something to say about this.

Arguments break out over whether commenting on odd habits or pervertedness in parts of Japanese culture is racist or observation. Choice comments from both sides:

I understand the point you are making, but when you have a homogenous society like Japan, the issue of race does creep in especially considering the history between the West and East and The US and Japan.

Furthermore, your bias is clearly displayed, as Rape-man (which is not what I was really talking about anyway) MIGHT BE ERRONEOUS as compared to “Rambo Defines…” would be COMPELTELY WRONG. You’re directly implying that maybe it really does define their culture by the use of weasel words.

Saying “Transforming combat robots that get their powers from molesting underage girls. I think that sums up Japanese culture better than anything else possibly could” IS completely wrong as well. Not some weaselly “might be erroneous” garbage.

***

Actually I can qualify the one and not the other because I happen to live in the United States and not Japan (I live on an Indian Reservation, technically), thus I can say that the society I live in is certainly not represented by Rambo while I really can't say if Rape-Man represents Japan on not from personal experience, not having visited. The notion that this represents a clear bias is something you're inventing yourself by reading more into the text than is stated.

If Japanese Society is homogenous, as you claim, then what's loved by one should be loved by all. In that case we have to conclude that Rape Man, Jam Fingers up Asses: The Video Game, and Megatron: Pedophile Tongue Rapist are indeed representative of Japanese culture. You're basically contradicting yourself since your argument in this post seems to boil down to:
A: The Hideous Lolicon stuff is only liked by a few weirdos and doesn't represent that culture.
B: Japanese society is very homogenous with everybody being very much alike.

***

"And incase your interested, I have been to Japan and no, I didn’t see anyone get raped by robots."

Weird. When I went to Japan, I saw it happen every day. You must have been there during the two-month rest period, when the robots are recalibrated, and their robo-reservoirs are replenished.

But this was too good to pass up.

I don't know if anyone's heard of the Transformers KISS series. The premise is that the Autobots must fight the Decepticons and power up--by being kissed by girls. I'm dead serious.

These are four borderline NWS images from the manga of it.

http://www.mediaworks.co.jp/special/daioh/pickup/pickup03.html
http://www.fantofan.jp/news/mag/dengenkidaioh-oct06-1.jpg
http://www.fantofan.jp/news/mag/dengenkidaioh-oct06-2.jpg
http://www.fantofan.jp/news/mag/dengenkidaioh-oct06-3.jpg

Someone posts the links at the Allspark, one of the large Transformers message boards. People wank about whether it is sexual or not to have a penis-shaped tongue coming out of the dude's mouth and towards a preteen girl.

OH!
This has to be seen to be believed!

On OTHERKIN, of all places. I guess it could be worse, the OP could have posted
it on Something Awful or Portal of Evil.

No, Otakin will not be ignored, Dan! Just laughed at a lot.

It's my first time posting here, and have no clue how to announce it.

Short, but painful to my brain.

Started with an innocent, "so, who here uses fanfiction.net and name?". Morphed into an...I'm not sure what it is. There's only one person blowing up, and the rest going, "uh..the hell?"

http://www.animelyrics.com/forum/topic_show.pl?tid=7955

Edit Seems that happycake has apologised.
Unfortuanately in a matter that makes my brain hurt even more.