With apologies to Monty Python.

Jaina: Trouble at Fanficrants.
Kutsuwamushi: Oh no - what kind of trouble?
Jaina: Ona trlls 's rilin' up the 'mmunity.
Kutsuwamushi: Pardon?
Jaina: Ona trolls 's rilin' up the 'mmunity.
Kutsuwamushi: I don't understand what you're saying.
Jaina: [irritated] One of the trolls is riling up the community.
Kutsuwamushi: Well what on earth does that mean?
Jaina: *I* don't know - Theo Harrison just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at Fanficrants, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Wankish Inquisition.

[JARRING CHORD]

[The door flies open and Wanker Izzanami enters, flanked by two junior wankers, Jinxy-sama and Ravyn Skye]

( NOBODY EXPECTS THE WANKISH INQUISITION! )

ETA!

Izzanami: Wankers, we are being mocked!
Jinxy-sama: What?! No one mocks the Wankish Inquisition!
Izzanami: Ha! Ha! Ha! I have the perfect plan.... Wankers, fetch... the EMPTY THREATS OF DOOMY DOOMINESS!

[JARRING CHORD]

ETA 2:

We have contact. Always happy to entertain, thank you for the compliment.

So, BNF artist Drachea Rannak was accused of tracing. The SailorSenshi-Unite DeviantArt group has a discussion about it (Now deleted, but a comparison image is here).

Apparently people trolled Drachea's DA, even though Drachea did indeed cite his source on the image.

Drachea ragequit's DA. Fans BAWWW.

But it gets more fun, people! There's an impostor in their midsts! So what does SailorSenshi Unite do? Declare war, of course.

Get this one while it's hot, I expect that things will vanish.

EDIT: Drachea's GOODBYE FOREVAAA! message:

( Guys... I am just being real. )
Also as a public service, someone is displaying Drachea's art.
OBJECTION!!!

EDIT II: Oh so much more!
I have found the original accusations my wankas!
Post the first.
"Also a filthy liar"
"Good riddance" complete with livestream.

The whole situation made The News! DA News that is.
Possible sock account.

From a mouse on wank_report and using some of their language.

copper_cakes uses a picture as her Livejournal background of the Bleach pairing Ulquiorra/Orihime. Unfortunately, it was a commission, and the artist and the person who paid for the art let her know. She takes down the image, and apologizes for using it and causing them trouble here.

Sounds straightforward, right? But you forget: this is Bleach and Bleach is serious fucking business. Not only is stealing wrong, copper_cakes is a LYING LIAR who only really ships Ichigo/Orihime!

( No, really. )

Small, but tasty in its utter detachment from any sense of perspective.

EDIT: Yes, you've seen Yulieana before.

EDIT THE SECOND: Yulieana...um. Responds, I guess?

EDIT THE THIRD: Moar caps! Were people actually buying wedding dresses? Spill the details, folks! EDIT THE FOURTH: This may be an exaggeration. BUT IF YOU HAVE BLEACH WEDDING DRESS ART, PUT IT IN COMMENTS, I'm bored and LJ is slow today. Bonuses for boys in dresses.

EDIT THE FOURTH (NO, WAIT, THE FIFTH): Where are my wedding dresses, bitches? Yulieana compares fandom_wank to Fox News (can I be Shepherd Smith?), some girl I don't know to infamous lawyer "Jake" Thompson, and takes a sideswipe at Johnny Yong Bosch. Dude, dissing the Black Ranger? So not on. Get it before it's locked!

EDIT SIX: Thanks for the wedding dresses! Oh, and neutrality is simply impossible when it comes to Bleach ships.

There once was an archive for Yuletide
and when it died every other fool cried
stop thief
in erroneous belief
that their fics were about to go worldwide

( background )

( the set up )

( coda )

OH ETA: melodyclark is here to show us all that even older women like to wank like horny thirteen year olds, but if she doesn't give it a rest I'm worried she's going to go blind, develop hairy palms, AND come down with a raging case of carpal tunnel syndrome.

thanks to inquisition for the heads up.

eta 3.1415 The abyss is looking into us... and it's fucking stupid. :D

bonus lulz: tzikeh point out to me that melodyclark tried to edit her fanlore page.

( text for anyone who can't or doesn't want to load fanlore )

We've had a couple of instances recently of wankas noticing potential rule violations (underage subjects, personal information leakage, etc.) in comms. Which is great. Go you. Keep it up.

BUT please remember that your loving and benevolent mods can't check into dicey activity if we don't know about it. Like most of you, we don't read every comment in every post, because, like you, real life gets in the way, not all of us cook, and sometimes we get bored and wander off.

So, a request: if you see anything that looks icky, or have any questions or comments for the moderators, don't just make a "have the mods seen this?" comment. Please drop us an e-mail (including direct links is really, really helpful) to us at mods@thefannish.org.

Kisses.

It all starts with what people are already calling LJ Genderfail: the newest beta version of LJ added a mandatory "gender" field to the sign-up process and eliminated the "unspecified" option (LJ quickly responded that the mandatoryness and binaryness of the new question were an accidental bug, and that the code was not going to go live. Of course, not everyone believes them about the "unintentional" part).

Well-known SGA BNF, former lj staffmember and co-founder of Dreamwidth Synecdochic made a call-to-action post that included the line,

It's been a while since I've been furious with anything LJ has done; having DW has done a lot to calm down my knee-jerk "AUUUGH NO" whenever Moscow does something stupid again.

A few people, some Russian and some not, are offended by this, and object. Synecdochic apologizes and edits the post after a request for clarification, but that is not enough to stop Ivorygates from making her side look bad.

Furiosity (who identifies as Russian) had objected to dismissing an entire culture because you're mad at some of its representatives, and Ivorygates takes the opportunity to school her. In her own cultural history. Because, you know, Russians don't understand freedom: it's not in their culture! America's special history of free speech can't be truly respected by them! (At this point Synecdochic freezes the thread.)

But Ivorygates isn't done! Bell had commented to Synecdochic that saying "Moscow" made a decision wasn't the same as saying "San Francisco" did because "Moscow, in US rhetoric, is that creepy place with commies and weird politics and gangsters". Ivorygates PMs her about this claim,

Are you actually -- are you actually seriously -- suggesting that identifying as a Russian national -- online, where you are safe from physical attack and can maintain anonymity -- presents you with duress identical to the harassment and persecution that transsexual and genderqueer individuals experience not only on-line, but in every facet of their lives?

Furiosity also posts to ask people to apologize instead of getting defensive when informed that they have offended "someone's race/culture/language/sexual orientation/gender identity/whatever". In her post meddie_flow comes to Synecdochic's defense with the ever popular Bingo square of "She didn't mean anything by it" with a side-order of "don't turn everything into a lynch-mob". Being offended by russophobia is also likened to being offended by the color red, and I'm honestly not sure if the irony there was intentional or not...

Snapefen are still wanking about Lily Evans Potter. terri_testing posted an essay More on Lily's behavior in SWM: Lily the Prefect? on Snapedom. An excerpt from this essay:
( Read more )

Batshit flourishes in the comments:
( Read more )

Dearest little wankahs, what makes a perfect wank?

I'm not asking this because I'm trying to perfect a Get Wank Quick scheme*, though. Honest.



*Voodoo, not trolling.

Lambda Literary Foundation: We're changing our submission criteria. From now on our GLBT literary award will only be given to self-identified GLBT authors.

( This does not go over well. )

A Slytherfan terri_testing writes an essay The Wizarding World and the Otherworld, where she argues that Harry Potter books are horror, not fantasy and that Hogwarts is like the school where the Native American children were brainwashed:

( Read more )

The essay provokes a chorus of "I agree"s and complaints about JKR's treatment of Snape:

mary_j_59 (see "Good night, sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!")

This is brilliant, Terri! And absolutely consistent. You know, my sister and I went to hear Rowling, Irving and King in NYC, and we both liked John Irving (reading from Owen Meany) best. Now the reason is clear. Rowling is actually a horror writer, like King, and I do not like horror. Still less do I like horror disguised as a children's fantasy quest. Irving, on the other hand, was writing in the great tradition of picaresque novels - a tragicomedy with a moral core.

But what I still wonder is: did (and does) Rowling know that she has actually written a dystopion/horror story? Somehow I don't think she realizes this.

condwiramurs/00sevvie

I second the 'brilliant' comment. And I highly doubt Rowling is aware of what she has actually written. She is too utterly blind to the reasons we like Severus, for example, to have any clue that she may have written something different from what her perfect picture of her work in her head is. I'm sure she thinks we're just getting it 'wrong.'

oryx_leucoryx (see Cry the Beloved Slytherins)

So if Severus Snape actually survived Nagini's bite, returned to the Muggle world and became some kind of counselor to delinquent youth or someone who runs an anti-bullying program (by working both with victims and perpetrators) he would be a hero with a rather protracted but complete journey? Starting out as the victim of neighborhood bullies (I doubt Petunia was the only one who knew that the strangely dressed kid was the Snape boy from Spinner's End) who must have dreamed that magic would solve his problems, learned that magic simply gave bullies more dangerous/'interesting' ways to hurt people, played a key role in getting rid of the biggest bully in the magical playground and came home to use non-magical ways against bullies?
***
bohemian_spirit has some fics in that general direction - in her 'Light Between the Cracks' series Severus Snape of canon years was secretly married to a Muggle school teacher and while at his Muggle home watched over the neighborhood children. And in her 'Professor Grunge' Severus immigrates to the US instead of joining the Death Eaters. He studies at a wizarding university and becomes a teacher who fights bullying and uses music to assist in magical healing.

But the real fun starts when night_train_fm decides to argue with terri_testing and says, among other things:

'Hermione exiling her parents to Australia'
She did that because she was terrified (with good reason) of the DEs coming after them: Voldemort was taking over the government, had already ordered several public mass-Muggle-killings, and anyone remotely connected to Harry was a potential target. According to Jo, Hermione reversed the spell ASAP once the threat was over. For that matter, is it ever outright stated that she didn't sit down and discuss it with them first?

That doesn't go well.

( Hermione is teh ebil! )

We ask, and wank_report provides.

Team Fortress 2 is an online FPS game in which two teams made up of nine different classes attempt to blast each other into comical bloody oblivion. TV Tropes says it best:

"Two corporations erect fortresses 10 yards from each other and then send waves of men to kill each other to steal a briefcase out of the opposing fort's basement."

Now add hats, equipable items that were introduced earlier in the year that change the appearance of a character and serve no other purpose whatsoever. But they're rare drops, man -- you could be on for hours and not see hide nor hair of a precious, precious hat.

( Do you smell what The Rock is cooking? )
In conclusion: hats!

Thanks to the mousie at wank_report!

Remember this wank? Which involved this guy? Well, if you're wondering what that rattling noise you hear is, it's the sound of head-desking over at TV Tropes, and it's all thanks to him.

---

Notes on the Source Material: There were 14 pages of comments, and just after I finished documenting the hijinks on page 12, everything got bahleeted. I snagged screencaps of pages 2-11 (which is more than Google cache got) but the most comprehensive record of this wank comes from my raw notes. Below the cut, you'll find a summary of the wank with links so you can bamf around and read the just interesting bits of the raw notes. The screencaps can be found here.

---

( Cosmetor Saves the Internet )

These two comments, made shortly before the bahleetion, are rather telling:

(15021) Dire Sloth: So... that Fan Dumb thread... it's kind of dumb.

(15022) Tzetze: I don't want to hear about that thread again.

---

ETA the 001: (Thanks to galateus for linkage, and ari_o for linkage that led to more linkage)

( Cosmetor Has Saved the Internet Before )

---

ETA the 010: (Thanks to boomstickjones for linkage to the latest, hottest, breaking news!)

Internet Does Not Want to be Saved, Banninates Cosmetor

2; Fast Eddie: After review ... People tried to reason with him. This is the second time he's been around, spreading chaos. He didn't really break any rules, but being around him is a pain in the ass.
Block installed.
7; Fighteer: Whew, thanks. That Fan Dumb argument felt like it was sucking the brain from my skull.
9; Some Sort of Troper: It feels wrong to me that the thread was deleted, it should have a more fitting end. Something like the house at the end of Poltergeist, it should have imploded and been sucked into hell.

I thought I'd pop in and see what HP fandom is up to this day. And, whatdayaknow? My favourite Slytherfen are still around. angakkuq posted about this here for the_hms_stfu

The title Rehumanizing the Slytherins: How Fandom Gave Humanity Back to a Quarter of the Wizarding World" made me weepy, albeit because I was laughing so hard. The linked essay is only a precis of the 20 page "academic presentation" sagedarkwoods gave. It's pretty standard pretentious fan meta, with headings such as "Queering the Slytherin Identity". (To her credit, there's no argument being made that being a Slytherin is just like being gay, only that some fans see it that way.)

The comments, on the other hand.... I'll just excerpt my favourite:

( This causes self-esteem issues and mental health problems. )

ETA: Bonus Wank:How Would Harry Potter Judge Susan Boyle? in which it is revealed that Snape is just like Susan Boyle, and Harry is Simon Cowell, but meaner. On the other hand, JKR is Simon Cowell, because JKR has had makeovers, and Cowell arranges makeovers. (Hat tip to mariem_1 for links in her own post.)

In Part III, we saw what happened when Lady Sybilla tried to tangle with the Twilight Lexicon mods for the last time (they banned her), and watched in awe as Wikipedia users worked "around the clock" to get her Russet Noon article deleted. You can still find "The Wikipedia Wars" linked on the Russet Noon website, but you'll have to scroll down past...

The FanHistory Wars.A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away....

Artistic revolution (who, for reasons which will become blatantly obvious, is a suspected sockpuppet of Lady Sybilla) edited the shit out of the Russet Noon fanhistory page. Artistic revolution has a pretty one-track mind, it would appear. Or two-track, if you count Lady Sybilla as a separate topic.

In the midst of all those edits, there was no shortage of information about me, Sybilla's own favorite "stalkarazzo." (I know I'm her favorite, she says so herself on the Russet Noon website.) The following information is culled from the Revision as of 00:27, 21 April 2009 version of the page.

Although Caito posted the email text on one of her many Journalfen pages, her only acknowledgment of Sybilla's concerns was: "I'm totally over this email business. I have a spam filter and I intend to use it. If someone wants to continue discussing this shiz, she can do so in the comments like everybody else." Strange reaction given that Caito's Whois record for her site openly discloses her gmail address:

At this point, Artistic revolution somehow thought it was appropriate to include my mailing address and contact information. Yes, in the middle of the article for Russet Noon. But that's not all! She did go on. I bolded my favorite parts!

More recently, Caito provided us with a video example of how the attention-whoring for which she mocks Sybilla is more contagious than a disease. Ironically, while she spends her valuable time making fun of the ''Russet Noon'' author for trying to exploit Stephenie Meyer's popularity, Caito, too, seems to be riding the wave of the ''Russet Noon'' obsession. And she does so quite gracefully. If it weren't for Caito, ''Russet Noon'' would have never achieved taboo status.

... On April 3, 2009, LadySybilla emailed Caito and asked her to stop her "online stalking activities." On this email, Sybilla warned, "If you don't, I will notify as many administrators as I have to until they take action." Sybilla then contacted the Journalfen technical support team to ask how she could contact an administrator in order to report libelous accusations posted by some of their users. But, instead of responding to Sybilla's concerns, the JournalFen support team (if, in fact, there is one) forwarded a copy of the email to Caito. This incident may or may not prompt internet users to wonder about the legitimacy of Journalfen. Is Journalfen an actual company? If it is, who are the tech support staff and/or administrators behind it?

... Judging by the look of things, it won't be Sybilla who will be profiting off of ''Russet Noon'' sales after all. Let's see what happens when Caito and her BFFs at Twilight Lexicon get their hands on a copy of the novel in September.

All that has since been nuked from the actual FanHistory page, and replaced with more evenhanded material. People here at FW went a little flaily for a bit, as a software snafu made it appear as though FH mod Sidewinder had been the one to add my personal info when she'd really just meant to take it down.*

Then the mods brought the hurt down on Artistic revolution, who has been banned from editing the wiki for two whole weeks! She's really sorry, though, guys. Please stop throwing stones at her, and let her catapult boulders at others in peace.

But it's not like Artistic revolution has been the only one tooling with it, either. Some anons got in and tweaked it ever so slightly, like changing the story summary simply to "OH JOHN RINGO NO!" Editing the Russet Noon article is temporarily locked to admins, due to anon vandalizing and a neutrality dispute.

Personal notes:

1. I do not know what end anyone would hope to achieve by posting my address.
2. I'm not BFFs or even BFs or even just Fs with the TwiLex mods, but I sure do like them more than I like Lady Sybilla.
3. I have no clue how I would stand to profit from anything having to do with Russet Noon.
4. I have no idea who Lee Thomas even is.

*Aside to FanHistory folks: Thanks. I really appreciate what you did. Do me one more solid? I did respond to Lady Sybilla's concerns about my "accusations", but I guess it got lost in the epic wave of comments. Like I said before, Lady Sybilla is welcome to come engage me in comments, but as far as I know she has yet to do so. Muchos gracias.

ETA: Artistic revolution rides forth on teal deer to appeal to Laura's professionalism.

ETA 2: Laura responds!

ETA 3: The Russet Noon website is now basically a hate shrine dedicated to me and FH mod Sidewinder, complete with Photoshopped screencaps of me interacting with people I've never actually interacted with. Oh, and also my contact information.

You know, I'm starting to get the feeling that she doesn't take criticism very well.

ETA 4: From Artistic revolution's usertalk page:

I'm not interested in antagonizing you. You have been objective, but I still have to insist that Sidewinder, whoever she is, hasn't been. She might not have the same IP address as Caito, but her editing patterns are dubious. I have listed the evidence on my website because I'm blocked from doing so here. If I'm not allowed to edit the article, then at least Sidewinder should also be prevented from tampering with it any further.

All in all, as I said before, I'm not interested in antagonizing you. Based on your reasons for why Wikipedia blacklisted FH, I know you can understand how I feel in regards to Russet Noon. I have seen that your procedures reflect professionalism. This is why I appealed to that.

I sincerely apologized to both you and Tikatu, but never received a reply. At least at Wikipedia they lifted the ban. Sure, they deleted the article, but they were reasonable enough to lift the ban. I'm sorry if the procedure I followed to try to negotiate with you guys was not what you expected.

I would much rather have you delete the Russet Noon article altogether than to continue with this conflict. Once again, it is not my intention to antagonize you.

So, yeah, Artistic revolution is almost certainly Lady Sybilla.

ETA 5: The hate shrine is now down from the Russet Noon site. It's been replaced with a paragraph about how "the wars have ceased" and the rest is now ostensibly about the fanfic again.

ETA 4-24 7:22am Tokyo time: In case anyone was wondering how Lady Sybilla was taking the news about Peter David's community parody-in-progress, here's the reaction from her twitter:

# it's an honor even though it's a satire, because Peter David is a very seasoned writer
4 minutes ago from web

# many fanfic writers of the net will be uniting to write Potato Moon. The creator is comic book author Peter David
4 minutes ago from web

# let's hope this communal novel will inspire many more to come. I'd love to see a serious thriller or drama like this
7 minutes ago from web

# communal novels are a new genre, there are not many of them that I know of. I'm very curious to read Potato Moon.
8 minutes ago from web

# I'm very proud to announce that Russet Noon has inspired a very unique parody, Potato Moon. It's a communal novel
8 minutes ago from web

The Russet Noon website has also changed. It no longer makes mention of any "wars" whatsoever.

ETA 7: "You are invited to read our latest press release, "Lady Sybilla: The Darth Vader of Fandom."* It appears that Russet Noon has already achieved taboo status without having even been released yet. That's what happens when a Darth Vader figure like Lady Sybilla is created. And now she's found a worthy opponent: Peter David."

*That link goes to a c&p in my journal. To view the original (and give LS more hits) click here.

ETA 8: Her tweeting continues, c&ped here.

ETA 9: The first part of Potato Moon is up... I have a FanHistory page now, and actually I kind of like it, especially the graphic and its caption... and yes, my little lolcats, you can has more ONTD.

ETA 10: She just updated the Russet Noon site again (screencapped here), linking to the articles that appeared on Comicmix and IMDB. (Except her IMDB link actually goes here, where you have to scroll down halfway down the page the relevant blurb.)

ETA 11: Peter David's Potato Moon has its own Wikipedia page! It is a thing of true beauty and you will never, ever guess who started it. But to avoid the situation that occurred the last time she wrote articles on Wikipedia, she's asked another user to edit the Potato Moon article for her. And he is (adding links to the Potato Moon blog entries, at least)! He just wants to know more about who AV Paranormal is. This should go well, I think.

ETA 12: She's linked to something on the Wall Street Journal site now. What the lemonfresh hell?

Lady Sybilla put out another press release. She also showed up at the Twilight Lexicon again, since that went so well the last time. (When the formatting gets hard to read, check it here.)

(Fanhistory links are all nofollow.)

After her Wikipedia article was deleted (you can go to the Russet-Noon webpage for more information), Lady Sybilla edited the shit out of the Russet Noon Fanhistory page all by her lonesome (despire Laura Hale asking around on Bebo whether anyone else had anything to contribute).

And in case your blog entry about the whole affair shows up there, I'm sorry. Lady Sybilla farmed the Russet Doom Supplementary Links Collection and changed my format a little to make the attention seem less wholly negative.

Oh also I put together an entry in my journal with links to screencaps and transcriptions and things, for quick and easy reference. 

Here's a very small but absolutely delightful fic wank courtesy of the mousies of wank_report. I will say now that, to the best of my knowledge, all involved are 18+, though not all of them had ages posted so I can't be sure.

ravenette2506 is am member of the small Alex Rider fandom (Alex Rider is apparently some teen spy book series I'd never heard of, but the wank is good anyways) and the yassen_alex community. She posts a fic of this pairing in her personal journal. frayer shows up to give some constructive criticism (or "concrit," apparently? You kids and your crazy portmanteaus). To paraphrase: "your fandom tends to do a lot worse but this isn't bad, oh and this line bugged me." A little harsh, perhaps, but not overly nasty. But it's on a personal journal, right? If the author objects they can just deal, delete, screen, whatever.

Or not.

( 'The Mod Signal! Quick Boy Fapper, to the wankmobile!' )

ETA: Bahleetion! Luckily, harumph has provided a cap for your entertainment. Also whoever linked them here is FAIL.

ETA deuce: OH NOES TEH HAXORS

ETA god my poor thesis: More cappage courtesy of _goblin_! And may I repeat: mousie who trolled the wank, you are a failure among failures. (Now with the original "concrit" courtesy of killer_gopher and sisterelwood)(AND MORE!)

ETA FOR FUCK'S SAKE IT'S ONLY BEEN LIKE TEN MINUTES SINCE THE LAST ONE: Not content to rank among the mousies, SuperMod has appeared to slaughter us all with his/her/its passive-aggressive smilies! :)

ETA of genuine interest: This shit's getting weird. OK, so, we had bahleetion, then some helpful mouse showed up with a link to a cap which turned out to be capped by Yaseanne and was promptly deleted. The twist?

The "helpful mouse's" IP

abrandnewboom's IP

Yaseanne's IP

So...either these two are in collusion to both keep the wank alive and try to act all superior about it being trolled or we've got some crazy-ass sockpuppetry and IP hiding going on. Yeah. I don't even fucking know.

ETA FTW: And this, ladies and gentlemen, is good modding. *salutes*

For those just tuning in:

Lady Sybilla wanted to put out Russet Noon, her tribute sequel to the Twilight Saga via sockpuppet publisher. Smeyer never drew her characters, so this totally wasn't copyright infringement. She put out press releases, a Youtube reading, and listed her book on eBay months and months before she intended to make it available.

Then, of course, the "massive hate campaign" began. Darn Earth logic!

I myself wrote no less than four separate versions of a wank report, as I tried to keep on top of everything (and eventually lost my grip on sanity).

Lady Sybilla did not take this well. She pretend-banned the russet-noon site, taking down its former glory, then changed it to goad voyeurs.

And what did I get for my efforts? Emails from Lady Sybs herself.

Now she's put up a message directing us to the interview she did at a Brazilian fan site.

In the words of Stephenie Meyer, "When a story demands to be written, there's no way to resist."

Yes, Sybsy baby, and your story demands to be put down. Um, I mean the reports on you, not Russet Noon. Your tomfoolery must be chronicled for posterity the lulz.

But wait, there's more! Aaaaaaand she's back to writing press releases. It's the Foforks interview with this blurb at the end:

AV Paranormal Publishing is an independent publisher in the Los Angeles area. We publish online books, digital art and paperback novels. No unsolicited manuscript submissions are considered. We accept query emails with a short synopsis. Email your queries to submissions@avparanormal.com

O rly? Also the Twilight Lexicon is back to smacking her down. Kisses, kids!

And guess what just came up in my Google reader? This post by Karen Knows Best! Which led me to go and check...yes! Lee Goldberg is back on the case!

( Now for the tl;dr... )

In other news, I'm totally over this email business. I have a spam filter and I intend to use it. If someone wants to continue discussing this shiz, she can do so in the comments like everybody else.
ETA: Yes, we can haz more press release.

Oh fair and forgiving denizens of fandom wank, it has come time for us to choose a new champion. Or a new mod, at least. You may have noticed us fading away, like beautiful unicorns. But no more!

Before you are the tasks three that must be completed for consideration:

1. You must locate a truly funny wank. It may be in our archives.
2. A golden apple. You may be creative.
3. Ten disney icons (edit: This can also be Pixar). Sep wants disney icons.

Those that complete this task will be brought before the oracle of Phosfate to hear their fate!




There will be prizes for participation, although they are best described as 'crappy'. Oh, and the mod prize.

AND WE'RE DONE. PRIZES IN NEXT POST

As Whomageddon rolls on, doctorwho  brings us another sterling gem. Or rather, two bright turds of wank, coupled together to form a synergistic pile of perfection.

First, cringer1982 shares that he's written a very pointed letter to the BBC about how they have portrayed Asians in their recent episode Turn Left. He neglects to mention that he's white as the fresh driven snow. Irish, in fact.

BBC officials respond with a letter that has nothing to do with anything.

Some people don't see his point.

( Meanwhile, back on the blog... )

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.