(Thanks to the mousey on wank_report for the original notice and qem_chibati for boosting the signal on clairvoyantwank. I think it's grown all big enough for a Fandom Wank entry of its very own.)

Meet Keith Mander. He posts about things like the hierarchical ranking of how deep a company actively utilises social media and he buys websites. His recent purchases include Just Pooh (a Winnie-the-Pooh site) and he "snapped up" Twilight Archives, a Twilight fic site a couple of months ago. You can read about his purchase of Just Pooh here, where he shares such wisdom as:

I tend to avoid marketplaces such as SitePoint and eBay. Sellers using one of these platforms tend to have a better understanding of their site’s value, and therefore have higher expectations. My approach would be to directly contact site owners who are unaware of their site’s value and who’ve never experimented with online advertising. They’re usually surprised when you contact them with an offer and this eases the negotiation process. The potential with this approach is far greater.

His latest purchase? ( One does not simply walk into Fandom... )

There once was an archive for Yuletide
and when it died every other fool cried
stop thief
in erroneous belief
that their fics were about to go worldwide

( background )

( the set up )

( coda )

OH ETA: melodyclark is here to show us all that even older women like to wank like horny thirteen year olds, but if she doesn't give it a rest I'm worried she's going to go blind, develop hairy palms, AND come down with a raging case of carpal tunnel syndrome.

thanks to inquisition for the heads up.

eta 3.1415 The abyss is looking into us... and it's fucking stupid. :D

bonus lulz: tzikeh point out to me that melodyclark tried to edit her fanlore page.

( text for anyone who can't or doesn't want to load fanlore )

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Moved from clairvoyantwank, with a couple of additions.


It starts off when lady_peyton's response to The Organisation for Transformative Works, or OTW, is linked to metafandom.

Then elfwreck appears here, to make a comparison between the rights of gay people to get married and fanfic writers to publish fics on the internet. Many of the commentors are...rather bemused.

(Note: I did comment on this entry, but I didn't say anything to Elfwreck and I don't think I was being wanky.)

Later on, elfwreck pops up on Insanejournal's meta_roundup community, with her...you guessed it,'Fanfic is like gay marriage' meta. Some agree; others (such as aucta_sinistra) politely disagree.

ETA: Bahleeted and replaced by this message at both her Insanejournal and Livejournal. However, most of the wank is on other people's journals.

limyaael mentions in the comments to the clairvoyantwank report that elfwreck had appeared from nowhere in her Journalfen to comment all over an anti-OTW post, which prompts pyratejenni to call elfwreck the new Heidipatrol for OTW.

Then partly_bouncy appears in the metafandom comments with links to both elfwreck lj's post (ah, the joys of x-posting) and liz_marcs, who is not happy with elfwreck. elfwreck appears in the comments, and the teal deer spooge erupts.

Edit: elfwreck appears in the comments here.

Lee Goldberg has discovered OTW. Hijinks ensue.

If his post about the staggering hypocrisy of fanfic writers isn't lol-worthy enough, check out the comments for more comedy gold:

"For months I've tried to puzzle my way toward an understanding of fanficcers. How can it be that the same people who would be outraged if a mugger ran off with everything in their wallets are not outraged when they themselves mug the intellectual property of others?"

Fanfiction, it's like stealing little old ladies' purses in a way.

"...[F]an fiction is usually devoid of character description, including each character's idiosyncrasies and each character's unique way of talking and dealing with others, because its writers assume that fanfic readers already know the characters. In typical fan fiction there is not even a physical description of the characters. That means that the work is incomplete and cannot stand on its own, and therefore it has limited artistic merit. Material that damages the author's characters, as fanfic does, is harmful. The harm I am talking of here has nothing to do with copyright, but with the aesthetics of the story and the characters. Or are you saying that the fan fiction version is on an aesthetic plane with the author's work even though the fan fiction version cannot even stand on its own? I hope you won't embarrass yourself with an argument like that. Go ahead, Mr. Rommel, kill the host and see if your parasites survive for long."

Fanfiction, it's like facehuggers in a way.

Oh Lee, why can't you be more like your brother?