Just a little wank over how MEAN it is to give unsolicited (for, um, a certain definition of "unsolicited"), anonymous concrit.

Welcome, friends, to

THE ANONYMOUS WRITING FEEDBACK MEME

It's one of those memes where people post their names and other people comment anonymously, in this case, telling what they think of their writing.

Let's look at the rules, shall we?

1. If you’re a writer, comment to this post with your username.
2. Commenters, no drama please. Play like adults. And writers, be prepared for any comment.
3. Pimp the meme out by posting the above code into your journal.
4. Be honest.

(emphasis mine!)

So, we're clear on how this works, right? Writers put their names in themselves, voluntarily. They should expect any kind of feedback, and it will be honest. And as long as there is no drama, any kind of comment is allowed.

( Unfortunately, not everyone is prepared for anonymous comments or honesty... )

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Many thanks to the mousie on wank_report for the heads up!

fpb chances upon a HP fic which contains "not only offensive but a genuine instance of hate speech, including evident racist overtones (apparently being "middle eastern" is bad) and a loathsome misrepresentation of historical fact."

He shields his flist from the source of this horror, claiming to not want to generate any more hits to the repulsiveness, only posting an excerpt.
The utterly offensive mote in his eye?

( Cut to shield delicate constitutions... )
ETA Now commemorated with an icon! Cheers sarahkjrsten

ETA DEUX Mon Dieu, We 'ave a parte deux </pepe_le_pew>

EVA Pod 3 - Launching! Congrats to tehrin for the call of Bingo!

From the Self-Aggrandizing Department of Wankery, long-winded wanker fpb responds to Dumbledore's outing. He includes part of a poem he wrote to the woman he's married to in his head, Debbie:

Love is more likely to make Bayard or Achilles into a terrified sheep; or, as I put it rather more poetically in some lines to Debbie,

O Love, the mountains bend their proud heads down,
And lions hide in your lap their royal frown.

There's some ...interesting.... comments. ataniell93 tosses her in two cents, and adds the only bit of common sense in the post:

If a man kept hanging around my house and never rang my doorbell 40 times, I'd call the police. I wouldn't want a man with a chest monster to court me but I'm not into creepy stalkers either. Guy hangs around and stares and never speaks, convinced he's unworthy of your love--next thing you know he's shooting the President and telling everybody he did it because you're so wonderful.

fpb responds:

Honey - I described my own behaviour. I thought I had made that clear enough. You are either extremely foolish or so caught up in modern crap notions about "stalkers" that you cannot tell the difference. Either way, you have completely failed to understand what I was saying.

Well, if you wanted to unleash a roaring animal, you just managed it. I am angry and disgusted at your reaction.

No response from ataniell93, but she's probably looking for a rolled-up newspaper to swat the roaring animal.

And he goes on again about how JKR Was Wrong. There's even a mention about how someone lied about his views on F_W to make him look like a racist. And here I thought he did that all by himself!

ETA: johncwright: squeeing FPB fanboy or squeeing FPB fanboy in WUV?

What would f_w be without the occasional HP meta argument that becomes so batshit as to cross the line into wank?

sistermagpie writes a post about the issues regarding Marietta and Hermione. A little tl;dr as always, but all is fine and dandy and the OP isn't wanky, until newbie marionros (who was dragged into the fandom and is going to be very disappointed if the books don't live up to her specific expectations) enters the scene and proceeds to make some very enlightening comparisons:

Now, I'm Dutch. My English is usually good enough to get my thoughts across (though barely) but my cultural 'style' of debate often clashes with the American one.

There should be a square on Wanker Bingo for invoking your own nationality as an excuse. Is there a law about this one?

Amnesty International fights - amongst other things - against the facial disfigurement of women (throwing acid in a womans face is a popular 'punishment' of 'bad' women in countries like Pakistan and Bangladesh)

If MsScribe had written it, I think it would go something like Dear Msscribe,

My vry domnant husband, he reads Harry Potter and the Orders of the Phonix and he is get an idea to throws acid on my face. But your porn is empowering the acid a way.

Attack of the fpbesque capitalization!

I'm committed to Reason, you see. Emotion, sympathy, passion, these are all wonderful things, but Reason is the structure of life that keeps us sane between all these conflicting emotions.

No, never an appeal to emotions, as shown by:

What's next? Pansy Parkinson shoots her mouth off and Harry, Ron and Nevill decide to 'shut her up' by group raping her? Hey, it shut her up, didn't it? And she was a slag anyway, so she *deserved* it, right?
No. Not even counting the fact that there are other ways to deal with the problem, rape is simply not a way to 'punish' (quite apart from the fact that the right to punish lies in the hands of those in authority - in Pansy's case this would be her parents, her teachers or the law, NOT Potter and co.) No good person would ever rape. No good person would ever disfigure another person. It's as simple as that, to me.

Elsewhere, the batshit really flourishes with her angry reaction to someone's comments about their own fic:

Who knows what you'd do, if permanent facial disfigurement of a sixteen year old girl by another sixteen year old girl is your idea of justice. You'd throw vitriol in my face (popular with vindictive women in the 19th century. "Hey, bitch! I loved the man you're gonna marry! I'll make sure you'll be a blushing bride!" *splash* *augh!* *whimper* *mad howling laughter*)

Something about the actions in asterisks just brings the whole overreaction to life. Remember, Harry Potter is Serious Ethical Business!

ETA: If someone posts this to wankitywank, I know I'm seriously to blame.

ETA2: Does anyone know a way, besides counting, to tell how many comments one user has made on a single post? I think fpb is pushing 33% here by now.

ETA3: Thank you rotten_fish for making the best possible summary on wankitywank, but you'll have to keep updating, it's still going.

Also, the wiki has been updated for your browsing convenience.

ETA4: Since fpb has been banned, he can't respond to your witty comments, either. All hail Snacky.

Or is he just a paranoid psycho?

Background: For more than a year now, fpb has been alleging that the Fiction Alley mods, daughters of bitches as he once deigned to call them on his journal, are out to get him. A saner person might have let it go by now, but not him.

Friends, are you tired of digging through comment threads to find links to the gnashing and wailing of despairing shippers?

Dig no more!

holy god, HP fandom is fucking insane!

Innermurk's HBP reaction

Homophobia made her do it!

The obligatory Dido reference (Yes, yes, dear, go down with your ship -- make sure to use a weighted lifejacket.)

Apparently I Was Wrong

OMG BLAISE IS BLACK!

Dear Mrs. Rowling: YOU SUCK!

WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU'RE NOT HYSTERICAL!

Atanielle's triple threat . (Now with religious sneering!)

ZOMG I had to wait an extra minute for my book!

The Funeral of OBHWF

Someone on remusxsirius needs a serious reality-check.

Half-Blood Prince -- A Run Down

WE ARE FINALLY CANON! (A nice change of pace.)

HBP_WTF. 'Nuff said. Now with icons!</i>

Tonks is just (bleeping bleep) of a beard

Someone's complaining about spoilers STILL?

The letter-writing campaign begins! YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

A Picture Message for JKR For some reason, I'm reminded of Brenda Starr.

Homophobia Made Her Do It! Volume II

Even the political communities are getting in on it

Spoilers make you a bad RPGer!

Fictionalley Park's shipping thread joins the party

Mock, and wtf_inc mocks with you! (Not wanky, but funny!)

Whiny fangirls prove they are twelve years old at heart

More protest art The last is soooo classy.

Are you sure you want a fandom, CC?

I don't think they put faces on milk cartons in the UK, liebchen...

Kenboy provides a sense of perspective Too bad he can't bottle it; it's desperately needed.

I have the right to be offended because I can't comprehend the original post! Metaquotes + huffy H/Hr shipper = wank!

Gordon Lightfoot Kills Harry Potter A filking tribute to the 'shipping wars. It came from MP3!

The Weasley Twins: Threat or Menace?

But it's different (really!) when you're making fun of MY ship!

She did it on PURPOSE! JKR supposedly targets H/Hr shippers and the SugarQuill archive.

More whiny protest art. (Locked. So much for never surrendering!)

OMG! JKR'S SO MEEAN!

The wank turns meta!

Another call for perspective Again, if madlorivoldemort could bottle this, she'd be debt-free in hours.

Wow. Someone's got entitlement issues.

And someone else didn't listen to JKR's thoughts on Snape, either.

Witherwings. Because we love proving Emerson right.

Suggestion: visit the library more often.

Reality check, Aisle Nine! (And bring a mop) </ href>

Projection, much?

Some people have a problem with reading comprehension...still.

Sigh. Kids, if you're trying to prove you're sane, "canonrape" isn't the way to do it, 'kay?"

Grow the hell up, gang! Because people are still being stupid.

Everytime you post with a H/G icon, the terrorists win! See what I mean?


Would anyone blame her? Not wanky, but funny.

Ginny bad, Draco good!

Looking for R/S wank? We got yer R/S wank right here! (Friendslocked. I guess they want to go down with their ship the way the Puppies would have wanted, with a little dignity. Or something.

ETA: Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the fandom....

The Mugglenet Wall of Shame, 'shippers edition

Deleterius, the HP and LOTR Mary Sue report comm at LJ, is a breeding ground for wank. This one might be small compared to tohers, but still...

What started with an innocent MS report, derivated to a catfight that might be going for quite a while...

*sigh* At times like this I'm glad HP's not my fandom.