c/p'd from Mousie's hard work:

Emma Watson is guest editing a British magazine that comes out on Thursday.

In it, supposedly JK Rowling shares her regret for making a certain pairing canon over another one.

Nowadays she admits she got it wrong - she should have shipped Harry / Hermione.

( You can see where this is going )
The actual article is slated to come out on Thursday. Prepare yourselves for the Second Coming...

As most of you (in fandom, and some who aren't) probably know already, JKR gave £1 Million to the Labour party.

As this included celebrity, politics and Harry Potter, I knew there must be wank somewhere! Oh, internets, you so rarely disappoint. Posted to fandom_wank, because no-one would really care if she wasn't famous and hadn't created Harry Potter.


Bitch! I knew I always hated Harry Potter for a reason

Dogberry: Bloody celebrity socialists, if they are that 'socially aware' they should give all their money to the poor.

Snouter: I never understood the retards who were intrigued by the garbage books she put together. But then again, the Jonas Brothers have also captivated the imagination of today's retards so it is simply folks exploiting the retarded mentality of today's youth.

Datamass: Yeah what is it with the guilty rich who want to force other people to give up all of their money while they only give up a small portion.

I'm beginning to think they are just using socialism as a means to acquire more wealth under the guise of the common good.Essentially they're just playing their bullshit games to get people to give up as much money as they can so they can snatch it up. After all, with money comes power. Those who have the money rule.

Forcing people to "give" at gunpoint is not helping anything.
The greatest of crimes have always been in the name of "the common good", or in the name of helping the poor unfortunate.
So why don't you give up your money to help the poor if you're so concerned for them?
Lead by example, none of this "do as I say not as I do" shit.

( Read more... )

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

SVA lashes out at TLC's Melissa in the New Yorker; Melissa alleges that the author, Tim Wu, actually put words in her mouth.

(Side note: "Alohomora" has changed on the Lexicon site again.)

ETA: Screencaps of changes to "Alohomora" this month, for the record.

( Read more... )

ETA 6: The briefs have been filed and are online.

Also: Melissa's statement about editing and/or censorship on Leaky Lounge..

Sorry to post again, but this is fairly significant: via Leaky Lounge, full transcripts of all three days of the Lexicon trial. They are from Stanford (whose Fair Use Project is providing RDR's defense), but it's more than we've had before. The discussion of these transcripts at LL is worth reading, by the way.

(Previously on the Thirty Years’ Wank: A metric ton of articles and an interview with SVA. Watch This Page for update alerts.)

ETA: Anne Rice weighs in.

ETA 2 (May 1): Okay, I'm a bit behind on ETA links, but:

insanitys_place: The Lexicon has corrected the "Alohomora" entry with information from JKR's testimony... not that it's credited as such.

Neil Gaiman weighs in again (and again).

waltraute: Orson Scott Card weighs in.

foresthouse: "This article from CNN by "a legal analyst on "American Morning" is new and discusses the law and views from different lawyers (like Tim Wu who was mentioned before). It's well written."

jedi_dwh: "The Hollywood Reporter is still on the case, and doing a pretty good job of keeping things balanced. It appears their law writers actually- GASP- do their homework!"

Ouch: Potter fan a crybaby in court.

So. The trial ended yesterday (on time, somehow). Since full writeups seem to appear on a delay, here's one more entry as a cleanup post and then we'll have some peace and quiet. From what I hear, we've got three to four weeks minimum before we get a ruling.

(Watch This Page for update alerts. Because I will probably cram in as many ETAs as I can rather than break for a new entry.)

( MOAR )

Latest:

ETA 6: A few more articles:

CNN: Potter case raises thorny issues.

Galley Cat: Harry Potter and the Wait for the Verdict.

Booksquare: JK Rowling Is Wrong.

Today: copyright experts testify, from what I've heard, so things should be a bit quieter. Originally the trial was scheduled for three days; I don't know how much longer it's actually going to take. ( MOAR )

Latest:

ETA 8: The Pie Chart of Doom didn't make it in! NOOOOOOOOO.

ETA 9: Via Leaky Lounge: WSJ LB may not have represented Johnson's testimony accurately. Also, WSJers seem to have gotten Cheryl Klein (who did not testify) confused with Suzanne Murphy.

From what I've heard SVA will testify today. Keep in mind, also--I can't remember which blogger said it, but apparently Judge Patterson looks and sounds a lot like John Huston, which adds an extra layer of awesome to the whole thing.

To start the morning off: TLC comment wank; the Hollywood Reporter weighs in; Y ALOHA THAR!

More as it comes. Watch This Page for update alerts.

( MOAR )

ETA 2: Holy hell, you guys. The morning update was the last time I was at a computer, so I am DROWNING now. Here's what I was able to pull together in about an hour: ( SVA testifies )

Latest:

ETA 4: More color commentary from jkrtrialblog on SVA's testimony:

Though I do not support Vander Ark, nor do I care for the lawyers defending RDR, the entire courtroom couldn’t help but laugh when Vander Ark said, “this is exciting,” regarding Alohamora’s origin. The lawyer, obviously beyond unenthused, said, “I’m thrilled myself.”

[...]

When asked if he would not be working RDR following the Lexicon book because he felt he was being misled, he adamantly denied such an allegation. Rowling’s lawyer then brought in a new piece of evidence. She distributed to the judge, Vander Ark, and RDR’s lawyers, a copy of an email sent by Mr. Vander Ark to Melissa Anelli. He stated in the email that he felt RDR had lied to and misled him and that they ruined his standing with fans and JKR and that was why he wouldn’t work with them anymore. The still silence following this piece of evidence leaves me with the conclusion that it’s very possible that RDR did not know that Vander Ark was saying such things behind their back.

As part of evidence, a video clip from a Harry Potter conference that took place in Toronto in August of 2007 was shown. It was about 15 seconds long and showed a bit of Vander Ark’s presentation. From his speech, we heard him say, “Jo quit. We’re taking over now.” [...] Aside from that, the judge was not happy to learn that this brief clip and short excerpt of his speech was the only part of the video brought into evidence. Vander Ark, who should have kept his mouth shut, joked that most of the rest of his presentation could be found on YouTube.

Quick ETA 5: From ari_o: The NYT has a crush on SVA.

I haven't caught it yet, but I'm hearing that the Lexicon case is already on Fox News every half hour. A couple of things I held on to over the weekend:

The latest documents on Justia.

'Potter' author seeks to block fan book. "In court Friday, Hammer said Rowling's lawyers did not want Vander Ark in the courtroom while Rowling testifies."

More later. Watch This Page for update alerts.

ETA: ( MOAR )

Latest:

ETA 9: New at Leaky Cauldron: First Day of JKR/WB vs RDR Books Trial, at which Leaky staffer(s?) were in attendance and able to take notes. There are some really interesting points in Rowling's testimony, but I'll only quote from the Rapoport notes since we haven't seen much from his:( Read more... )

Previously on The Hundred Years' Wank: RDR demands to see JKR's notes, judge lols; RDR files its response; the NYT weighs in; grudgepuppet accuses TLC's Melissa of tax fraud, recipes ensue.

Leaky grudgewank hits the Times Union. Key sentence: "Fansites such as The Leaky Cauldron and Mugglenet have been selling ad space on their sites for years and some have cried fowl."* Includes wank in the comments.

* Which fowl? "TURKEY! PHEASANT! CHICKENNNN!"

And then: JKR/WB Respond in Lexicon Suit. From TLC: "This is the last filing before a hearing on March 13 to determine if a preliminary injunction will be granted. After that there still may or may not be a trial to determine if infringement has taken place." ( Key points )

Whew. *goes to have a lie-down*

ETA: From karintheswede, "Methuen, the British firm set to publish the Lexicon if RDR/SVA win, is ' "fairly confident" the court will rule in RDR's favour,' according to The Bookseller."

ETA 2 from TLC: "Harvard Law Wayne State University faculty and copyright/IP professor Derek Bambauer says that a recent NYT article on the case "Foul[ed] Up Fair Use" and contains an "embarassingly simple mistake of copyright law."

ETA 3: The filings are finally up at Justia.

ETA 4: Most viewed new story on Yahoo News: Rowling bashes 'Harry Potter Lexicon.'

ETA 5: RDR Books speaks. ( Read more... )

ETA 5b: The Lexicon story hits Smart Bitches, Trashy Books.

ETA 5c: From ravenbell: an article from Cinematical: "Discuss: When Fans Go Too Far." Includes wank in the comments; I'm not really sure what's going on with the "bright shiny snowflake" comment.

ETA 6: Nora Roberts speaks:

Fan fiction doesn’t copy the author’s story and call it their own, but uses it or the characters, as a springboard for another story. And not for profit. Much different, to my mind, than what Edwards did over many years and with many sources.

But this suit seems to involve someone who IS taking the author’s words, without her permission, and trying to sell it for profit. I’d sue, too.

I don’t mind fan fiction (understand those authors who do), but when I find my work on the internet--for profit or not--copied and claimed by someone else, I shut it down.

NORA ROBERTS HAS SPOKEN.

Tip taken from wank_report. JK Rowling has finished Book VII. But more importantly she defaced a statue of Hermes in an Edinburgh hotel. She wrote on the base of the statue in her room:

JK Rowling
finished writing
Harry Potter + the Deathly Hallows
in this room (652)
on 11th January 2007

The hotel found it, released the news with a picture of it and seems very happy to have a rather valuable piece of memorabilia in their possession.

The newspaper reports the statue is being kept hidden away, and there are no plans to make the room where Jo completed the final Harry Potter novel into any sort of shrine or tourist attraction.

Thank heaven.

TLC Report One

TLC Report Two

TLC readers are at first skeptical, then move to outrage and feelings of betrayal on the vandalism's confirmation. Highlights below. (Mostly leaving out the many perfectly bland reactions, of course.)

( way to go Jo....you are a perfect role model.....hey kids leave your name on private property....its ok )

And for a perfect summary, Lauryn wrote: "LOL @ Jo being "out of character"! That statement is fandom in a nutshell!"

So, Terry Pratchett was (rather unflatteringly) interviewed in the Times. [ETA April 20, 2007: The previous link is now dead. For all those interested in your wank history, here's a working one, supplied here by a helpful anonymouse: Sod the Booker, this is popular: Giles Hattersley meets Terry Pratchett.]

Here is a loose and free paraphrase of a portion of the interview:

Interviewer: "So, when did J. K. Rowling stop beating your wife start ripping off your work?"

Terry Pratchett: "You're crazy if you think I'm actually going to answer that."

Interviewer: "I'll take that as a yes." (<--Actual real quote)

Potter fans: "OMG Pratchett dissed JKR! He's so jealous!"

Me: *Headdesk*

The Leaky Cauldron report on the article, with links to other Pratchett interviews/letters, is here. [ETA May 14, 2009: Although the original post remains, the old comments page, with all its glorious wank, appears to be gone. If anyone knows a workaround URL to get to old Leaky comments, let me know.]

Oh, yeah. The wank report from the last time this happened is here.

( ETA: A response from Pratchett about the interview )

ETA2: Because it's impossible to discuss Pratchett without someone wanting to try his books, we now have a thread of Pratchett recs. In fact, have two.

Finished HBP. I Need Some Serious Love. . ., Just can't believe JK., a thread on Portkey, started by one Veronica.

" Hi guys. I'm a newbie and I'm pissed, depressed, embarrassed, disgusted, betrayed, angry, dumbfounded, and every other negative emotion that exists. I JUST finished reading HBP last night (I'd been punished for the last year and got my priveledges back a week ago--don't ask for the reason) and I can't even BELIEVE this is real. I actually had to CHECK the cover and publishers and author to make sure I had the right thing in my hands. I've never been so let down. I was more depressed than when my dog I'd had since I was born died."

This mid-February post is Veronica's first and last post ever on Portkey. She couldn't be more obviously a troll if she was carrying a club and hanging out under a bridge. I can't say she has too much time on her hands, as this seems to be the least-amount-of-input-for-maximum-reaction style of trolling.

( How NOT to deal with a Troll )

( Harmony is the Word: JKR's Shoutout to Harmonians )

( JKR shot my dog! )

( Enter Disharmony )

( Harry Potter is sort of like the USA, but you can leave )

You remember J.K. Rowling is a Pop-Culter Hitler? The author's back with J.K. Rowling is a Pop-Culture Hitler, Part II and moustachioed JKR pictures (plus Hitlers with lighting bolt scars.)

Thanks to J.Molo (aka spawn_of_kong on LJ)on wank_report

FUCKING HELL PEOPLE JUST FUCKING HELL I CAN'T TAKES IT ANYMORE!!!!!


harryandmione63 has posted a ridiculously batshit (even for her standard) post on the shipdebate community about if JKR is "raceist".

JKR raceist?
I think it is possible that jk rowling may be a raceist. what?!!!! you say, that is inpossible, but she says raceism is bad in her books. yes i say, but then why doesn't Rowling seem to care what black potter fans want? because black fans overwhelmingly ship h/hr, and yet r/hr still got written which has mostly white fans. I think this is raceist and i think JKR knows that black people like h/hr. (not saying h/hr has no white fans, because it does, but i think what jkr meant to say in the delusional interview was that black people can't read. Which isn't true but JKR is raceist).

Small as of yet, but my wankdar tells me it'll grow like Marlon Brando's waistline. And to the credit of every single other H/Hr shipper who has posted here thus far, even they think this chick is totally off the radar.


eta: I get the feeling this person may not be a troll. They seemed to be very serious when they got wanked for this post.

eta 2: Thanks to a sweetie on my flist, we now have part le deux in this little parade of batshit.

You heard right. Here you are. I'm c&ping this under a cut in case the author g-men.us decides to take it down.

( J.K. Rowling is a Pop-Culture Hitler and Thomas Jefferson Wouldn't Have Invited Her To His Christmas Parties )

ETA: OP identifying himself as Keith Ellington posts in comments: "Paragraphs added and Quintus Snape's troll deleted. Laws are made to be broken, including Godwin's. Sorry about Fueherbunker, don't know much about European history because it's all about famous sociopaths like J.K. Rowling."

You know, I really did vow not to bring up anymore HP shipping wank. I feel for those who are getting bored/nauseated. So just don't click on the cut tag.

( Ted Turner controls JKR, Emerson, and Melissa )

ETA - The poor mods at Portkey take down the insane conspiracy theories, for which I think they should get props, but it means that stuff's only available here.

Honestly? This is barely a wank. A wanklet. If not for the outraged cries of the devoted Harry Potter fans, this would have been just a series of amusing articles in the media.

The Time Magazine interviews JK Rowling and manages to make a number of inaccurate statements about the fantasy genre and fantasy writers.

BBC comments on Terry Pratchett's rather sarcastic letter to the Sunday Times that pokes fun at inaccurate reporting and, rather cheekily, at JKR Herself.

Little wank so far, until we get to the comments on Leaky Cauldron. Apparently Pratchett is just jealous of JKR's fame and fortune!

Thank you, Neil Gaiman, for putting things in perspective again.

Edit: And the same sad song over at MuggleNet. Also, thanks to also_not_a_pipe, a link to the wank from the other side.

Revenge of the edit: From the blog of diane_duane comes Pterry's response. [Insert some rather OT Rihannsu-flavoured squee, because, well, Diane Duane.]

Friends, are you tired of digging through comment threads to find links to the gnashing and wailing of despairing shippers?

Dig no more!

holy god, HP fandom is fucking insane!

Innermurk's HBP reaction

Homophobia made her do it!

The obligatory Dido reference (Yes, yes, dear, go down with your ship -- make sure to use a weighted lifejacket.)

Apparently I Was Wrong

OMG BLAISE IS BLACK!

Dear Mrs. Rowling: YOU SUCK!

WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU'RE NOT HYSTERICAL!

Atanielle's triple threat . (Now with religious sneering!)

ZOMG I had to wait an extra minute for my book!

The Funeral of OBHWF

Someone on remusxsirius needs a serious reality-check.

Half-Blood Prince -- A Run Down

WE ARE FINALLY CANON! (A nice change of pace.)

HBP_WTF. 'Nuff said. Now with icons!</i>

Tonks is just (bleeping bleep) of a beard

Someone's complaining about spoilers STILL?

The letter-writing campaign begins! YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

A Picture Message for JKR For some reason, I'm reminded of Brenda Starr.

Homophobia Made Her Do It! Volume II

Even the political communities are getting in on it

Spoilers make you a bad RPGer!

Fictionalley Park's shipping thread joins the party

Mock, and wtf_inc mocks with you! (Not wanky, but funny!)

Whiny fangirls prove they are twelve years old at heart

More protest art The last is soooo classy.

Are you sure you want a fandom, CC?

I don't think they put faces on milk cartons in the UK, liebchen...

Kenboy provides a sense of perspective Too bad he can't bottle it; it's desperately needed.

I have the right to be offended because I can't comprehend the original post! Metaquotes + huffy H/Hr shipper = wank!

Gordon Lightfoot Kills Harry Potter A filking tribute to the 'shipping wars. It came from MP3!

The Weasley Twins: Threat or Menace?

But it's different (really!) when you're making fun of MY ship!

She did it on PURPOSE! JKR supposedly targets H/Hr shippers and the SugarQuill archive.

More whiny protest art. (Locked. So much for never surrendering!)

OMG! JKR'S SO MEEAN!

The wank turns meta!

Another call for perspective Again, if madlorivoldemort could bottle this, she'd be debt-free in hours.

Wow. Someone's got entitlement issues.

And someone else didn't listen to JKR's thoughts on Snape, either.

Witherwings. Because we love proving Emerson right.

Suggestion: visit the library more often.

Reality check, Aisle Nine! (And bring a mop) </ href>

Projection, much?

Some people have a problem with reading comprehension...still.

Sigh. Kids, if you're trying to prove you're sane, "canonrape" isn't the way to do it, 'kay?"

Grow the hell up, gang! Because people are still being stupid.

Everytime you post with a H/G icon, the terrorists win! See what I mean?


Would anyone blame her? Not wanky, but funny.

Ginny bad, Draco good!

Looking for R/S wank? We got yer R/S wank right here! (Friendslocked. I guess they want to go down with their ship the way the Puppies would have wanted, with a little dignity. Or something.

ETA: Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the fandom....

The Mugglenet Wall of Shame, 'shippers edition