Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Introducing the world-famous Monroe Mann (and the Monroe-haters). Also, featuring incidental appearances by the Countess.

(IMDb wank, but I think it's something special enough to make it up. Most links don't point to the forums. ** by them if they do.)

I've been watching this one for awhile... as a result, it's long.

( How I discovered Monroe Mann. )

Monroe Mann's big claim to fame is, apparently, a non-speaking background role in the cinematic classic, Swimfan. His (self-written) bio isn't quite as impressive as the Countess', though it does contain the classic fact:

"Having moved up and down the east coast so much, his accent is such that people often think he's from England."

A little reading dug up more.
( Monroe Mann's media empire. )

Basically, Monroe Mann seems to attempting the Tony Robbins route to success-- become rich and famous by telling people how to become rich and famous.

Hey, it worked for Tony...

But we're only getting started here. So, there's Monroe Mann himself. And, talking about self-aggrandizing posturing, he's got it.

And then...
there are the Monroe-haters.
( There are Monroe-haters? )

There's been recent drama.

( The Amazon.com wishlist drama )

But Monroe has defenders.

( Defenders, sockpuppets, and threats. )

I'm sure there's more, but I got many good hours of amusement out of Monroe Mann, the Monroe-haters, and his supporters. I think you all should have the same opportunity.

ETA: The "Vienna Casey" incident is in a Press Release on i-Newswire. Submitted by a Monroe-hater? Very likely.

ETA2: And now Monroe Mann plans to sue the haters. From the "I'm a-gonna sue" press release:

He recognizes that such disrespectful people (who call themselves "Monroe haters") come with the territory, and as the more famous he becomes, the more people will take a dislike to him, which is a common occurrence for most A-list stars like George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez.

and

"We believe actors can get further by concentrating on the business and attitude side of show-business rather than actual training. I am proof this theory works as I have little training in acting, but with my business brains I have starred in a number one box office smash film 'Swimfan' with Erika Christensen, and have my second film in production at the moment" said Monroe.

The Mann; the ego.

kalicephirot posted this link in a comment to this wank, but I think it deserves to be on the front page.

(  I'm putting an end to the Fan Wank posts. ) </blockquote>
Dear Countess,

My journal is here. Please enjoy!

ETA: Oh, my. If your journal/website/LIFE is deleted, you know who to blame! =)

ETA 2: Here's a backup of the deleted posts. If someone with more permanent space wants to mirror it, go ahead.

Ahem. Fandom_Wank?

YOU ARE JUST LIKE THE PAPARAZZI!

AND THE "COUNTESS" JUSTINE BAKER HAS YOUR PHONE NUMBER!

EDIT: No, she really does! She's started posting them, too.

EDIT THE SECOND: We have a mirror. Not just Alexander, folks! Marilyn and Hemingway and Cleopatra, oh my! Thanks to lurker 32!

Fandom_Wank, meet The "Countess" Justine Baker: Actress, Poet, Film-maker, Theoretical Mathematician and Philosopher, Descendant of Kings and Queens and Other Royal Types!

This woman is her own fandom.

She first shows her face in a thread at the IMDb board for Alexander, where she lets three people the world know that Oliver Stone sure is one director she'd never work with. Especially given her incredible IMDb acting resume consisting of such stellar roles as 'Flower the Prostitute' and 'Uncredited Wedding Guest'. He just isn't affording her "ancestor" the respect he deserves, dammit!

Then there is her biography, in which we learn that: Her IQ cannot be charted! She was a published poet in the 6th grade! She was invited to a dinner with George Bush! She is Related To Everybody in Hollywood!

EXHIBIT A: Her personal website , where we are informed, repeatedly, of her Genius in All Things.

EXHIBIT B: Her genealogy. Am I eligible to gain an official title? Yes. What? To Be Determined and by which country I choose and recognizes such..

Dude, we'd better all hop on her train right now. This woman is going places.

Erm.

EDIT: Geocities (Webhost of Kings!) has exceeded its bandwidth. But there's some more of her Crazeh here, here, and here. The last includes her looong list of plebian Day-Jobs. *nod*