Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

It's that time of year again. The time of year when we all draw up our chairs and watch another outbreak of Usagi Kou wank.

Usagi Kou's friend Sonnya is no longer her friend and wants everyone to know Lori is a leech and a parasite.

The Klou Kou Clan is circling around giving their opinions for and against Usagi Kou, who is either the leech who leeched their life spirits away, or the only reason they go on living. And D.J. Ranmas has shown up with nude pictures of Usagi Kou. Yes, you read that right. Hold on to your seats.

ETA: Usagi Kou responds in her usual mature manner.

Apparently at ohnotheydidnt there is a rather lengthy wank discussion over Lindsay Lohan apparently starring as Sailor Moon in a live action movie.

This may or may not qualify for a wank because no one is REALLY arguing. . buuuuut the "discussion" turns into:

LOOK FUNNY PICTURES

Then, the eventual Usagi Kou is brought up and a link is given to her Sailor Moon fan movie.

All in all this is fourteen pages and counting of pretty hilarious photos and some really amusing comments.

My favorite happens to be: This little piece of eyeball melting fun!

My very first demi wank, so ENJOY!

The first part brought over from clairvoyantwank in honor of the recent Kou wank.

Kirby (mseverchanging aka kakyuu_kou) received a mean comment on her cosplay website guestbook. See her rant about it and accuse people that she hates for it.

When the entry was first posted, a little tiff between luna_tsukou and Kirby ensued.

Days later, killmeneko argues with Kirby.

As a bonus, back on the first of March, this entry is made by soullesscyn about Usagi Kou's rumored sex habits. The post is later edited with a link to a picture of Kirby. Kirby replies here.

The fun part about this is Usagi Kou recently comments revealing to all that Kirby, the avid anti-Usagi Kou of 2005, has been asking repeatedly to be friended and Usagi Kou publicly snubs her. The other fun part about Usagi Kou commenting means that she's let her friends know about the post so they can join in on the wank too.

ETA: Kirby has removed all the wanky comments in her LJ entry. Screencaps, anyone?

Courtesy of wank_report. People often ask what Usagi Kou will do when she gets old and wrinkly and doesn't look like Sailor Moon anymore. Well, says Usagi Kou

sometimes people make my face do this= O___o;;

Her LJ post explains that she has a life beyond cosplaying Sailor Moon, and everyone else is jealous.

I'm always told its because people are jealous because they think im good looking, talented, loved, or because I'm strong and things don't get to me as easily, but I dont know, those are some pretty petty reason's in my opinion. It's the high-school cheerleader deal. It's somewhat irritating at time's, I'm just glad I have the layed back personality I have, or I think i could have blown up by now.

Amusing comments from her friends including,

Kayla_kagome: WHEN YOU GIVE UP COSPLAY? cosplay is in peoples blood

angela__orosco: I'm honestly suprised you haven't snapped and gone insane yet!

brend: I am sorry everyone gives you so much shit princess. Like you said, it's just cause you're way sexier than them. Also it's because you're cooler. Crazy obsessed freakishly socially retarded otaku cosplayers tend to become jealous of the sane, level-headed chill ones such as yourself.

And, of course, an argument over whether Usagi Kou could get a job. Proving once more than the only people stupider than her fans are her enemies.

Because I think Usagi Kou is her own fandom. Thanks to an anonymouse. If this is out of place, let me know and I'll move it.

Kou's boyfriend sold their engagement ring.

( What he says )

Now, it starts out good enough. People tell him, "Good for you, man!" pretty much.

And then Usagi shows up.

And the boyfriend retaliates, earning hate from Kou

Then we have her complaining that he wanted to take it back because he knew what it meant to her.

ETA: because I missed a TON of comments!

Someone thinks that it's not cool to tell everyone he's selling a 'present'.

A little fun wank with Usagi saying 'did you ever think i type this way to piss people like you off?' and 'this is INTERNET DRAMA dude. i dont really care who i reply to and how. i dont know you, you dont know me.'>

From a mousey over on wank_report. A few days stale, yet too hilarious to pass up:

mseverchanging, whom you may recall as kakyuu_kou, has decided to apologize for all her previous misdeeds! (I know she's been here before, but am unable to find the link(s) – anyone able to help a wanka out? Previous wanks featuring Ms. Everchanging may be found here, here, and (in the comments) here. Many thanks to mochibuni!)

Things get off to an awesome start within a few paragraphs, with the OP taking Godwin to new heights by comparing herself to . . . well, just read the sentence:

What in gods name can I even begin to say to you to make the things I've said and done in the past even look shy in comparison to Hitler and what he did to the Jewish community?

After providing her mea culpas to twenty people – with promises of more to come! – she opens up the floor to comments.

And oh, how the comments keep on coming.

There is also a graphic of a cat-tank, I'm not sure what to think of that.

As bonus wank, iamthecosplayer makes a post about the whole thing here, and a lot of "Plz be defriending me kthx" wankery spawns in the comments.

ETA: Oh noes!!! iamthecosplayer has been suspended.

ETA Strikes Back, courtesy sailorjpg: When avian_firefly refers to the OP's otherkin activities here, she is apparently referencing this weird shit. Not part of the wank at hand, per se, but too awesome to pass up.

Revenge of the ETA, again courtesy sailorjpg: Unscreen My Comments, Bitch, the smash hit Broadway musical. With complimentary screencaps!

We all know what comes with Sailor Moon wank, don't we?

Usagi Kou related wank, of course!

The Sailor Moon Pocky Box has several articles covering the major dramas and wankers within the Sailor Moon community. Naturally, Usagi Kou is shining brightly amongst the drama articles, which brings us to our wank.

Gothicanime would like you to know that they are not a minion of Usagi Kou.

Neoqueenserena adds her two cents for publicity and remind you all that "luna is me friieeeend! Dun be meeen cuz shes muh friieeend!one"

We have a calling out of one of the Pocky Box members, Eudial (endymion_sama). We have the abundant usage of emoticons, piss poor grammar, and netspeak. We also have jabs at the most important achievement in life. Ever: getting laid.

It's small, I know. So to compensate, I give you Kakyuu Kou vs Kou Minions wank to go with it.

lolzdrama must be having much to talk about.

Note: Don't bother looking at neoqueenserena's user profile, or any of them for that matter, if you're on dial up.

Edit: Neoqueenserena's entry has been bahleeted. Unfortunately, I am screencapless.

Edit 2: Gothicanime has friend's locked her entries. Sadly, I do not have screencaps of these either.

It's such old wank, but in cosplay in livejournal, mamoismine have once again brought up the beaten-to-death topic of "I'm the real sailormoon". She includes in her post a badly edited (intentionally or not I havent decided yet) picture with her head on Lori's body and with her boyfriend and pokes fun at him in the post "but ui call him mamo-fatty" (typo in OP)

Post is currently at about 40 replies.

EDIT: Post has been deleted but I capture a couple screen shots of the original post before it went away.
Pic 1 and Pic 2 WARNING: they are full sized screen shots.

seraphimsdawn posts in cosplayfucks about an apparently well-known cosplayer named Yuffie Bunny.

Various people object, including Usagi Kou. (I guess this means she wins the internet for ignoring blackbeads.)

Features - OF COURSE - ZOMG UR JELUS CUZ SHES FAMUS1!!11!! and a Family Guy image.

Small, but cute.

Being a curious, cheeky little monkey, I followed this wank over to the FuKu to see what the forums were like at like, 7 in the morning.

Since I think some of you frequent there, you may already have seen it, but... in that case, why didn't you report this crap?! >:O

It apparently all starts when a Sailor Moon cosplayer at cosplay.com named Usagi Dumpling posts a picture of herself holding a straw with the words "I SEE YUU" and "I EET YUU" photoshopped onto it. Apparently, this is 'stealing' the phrase of another Sailor Moon cosplayer named Usagi Kou (sailor-moon at c.c), whose friends unleash the fires of hell upon the poor girl for daring to infringe upon her 'copyrighted' pose and phrase and get the girl's picture removed from the site.

But this goes from 'wanky' into 'just plain fuckin' meta' really quickly, as Usagi Kou tracks down the thread at about page six, and the other two threads that were running *simultaneously* about her. I don't think there's any way I can sum up this girl's total break from reality, but the links pretty well speak for themselves.

She does, however, do smokin' Sailor Moon cosplay. She just... thinks other Moon cosplayers are cosplaying as *her* occasionally. O_o Small bonuses are: each thread devolving into an image flood; an entire page devoted to smackin' on how 'ugly' the chick is (okay, now you're just being mean. She really *is* very pretty); her FAQ explaining very politely that, no silly, she's not the *real* Usagi-chan *giggle* (really, do people ask questions like this?); and the 'music video' full of still shots of her and her boyfriend ("Mamochan", if you're interested @_@ Yes, he actually responds in one thread, calling himself that) looking longingly at each other and at park scenery while "Dreaming of You" plays in the background (you can find it on her site by going under 'Extras').