First attempt at posting, although I've been barracking from the sidelines for about a millennium now ...

astolat posts A Matter Of Inconvenience, which is American Idol slashfic (Kris/Adam) with a 'Regency' setting. At least, that's the general idea, and harmless enough you would have thought - assuming that AI AU RPS is your thing. (Alphabet soup!)

zvi, however, takes exception. Amongst other objections, A Matter of Inconvenience is not about race, thoughtlessly invokes colonial issues, and just doesn't put up any warning flags for those who are about to read it. Also, apparently, this is a thing Astolat fucked up. Everybody, please to endeavor not to fuck up like that with your next happy fun sexytimes historical.

What starts off as moderately polite discussion about historicity in slash fanfiction is, however, quickly derailed by willow who offers the following reasoned evaluation: In the middle of the cuppa tea, the empire waist dresses and the ass-sex of your AU Regency - please to be remembering the hydra heads of colonialism and imperialism and what that means for and about your whitey white penis salt lick fan thought of the moment.

liviapenn tries to calm things down a bit with some entertaining stuff about plumbers and blow jobs but this only serves to upset willow further. Why is it that everytime I see you lately, you're happily shoving your foot into your mouth via your hindquarters? ... You keep claiming to understand your privilege and say you're reflecting on it and then you start chomping that feces encrusted shoe leather again. willow's User Info states "'M brown and I have an attitude." No kidding.

astolat's attempt to explain herself gets stomped on, and the desirability of historical accuracy in a Kris/Adam Regency alternate universe is lathered, rinsed and repeated for those who missed it the first time.

Small, but strangely vitriolic given the subject matter. It's difficult to imagine why people are getting quite so over-excited about one piece of costumed fluff in a universe of lesbian cars and tentacle porn, but it may keep us entertained while we're waiting for next incarnation of VB.

ETA: Okay, I get the message, I got it wrong - or maybe I just don't have a sense of humour? Either way, it was obviously a bad call. Lesson learned.

It all starts with what people are already calling LJ Genderfail: the newest beta version of LJ added a mandatory "gender" field to the sign-up process and eliminated the "unspecified" option (LJ quickly responded that the mandatoryness and binaryness of the new question were an accidental bug, and that the code was not going to go live. Of course, not everyone believes them about the "unintentional" part).

Well-known SGA BNF, former lj staffmember and co-founder of Dreamwidth Synecdochic made a call-to-action post that included the line,

It's been a while since I've been furious with anything LJ has done; having DW has done a lot to calm down my knee-jerk "AUUUGH NO" whenever Moscow does something stupid again.

A few people, some Russian and some not, are offended by this, and object. Synecdochic apologizes and edits the post after a request for clarification, but that is not enough to stop Ivorygates from making her side look bad.

Furiosity (who identifies as Russian) had objected to dismissing an entire culture because you're mad at some of its representatives, and Ivorygates takes the opportunity to school her. In her own cultural history. Because, you know, Russians don't understand freedom: it's not in their culture! America's special history of free speech can't be truly respected by them! (At this point Synecdochic freezes the thread.)

But Ivorygates isn't done! Bell had commented to Synecdochic that saying "Moscow" made a decision wasn't the same as saying "San Francisco" did because "Moscow, in US rhetoric, is that creepy place with commies and weird politics and gangsters". Ivorygates PMs her about this claim,

Are you actually -- are you actually seriously -- suggesting that identifying as a Russian national -- online, where you are safe from physical attack and can maintain anonymity -- presents you with duress identical to the harassment and persecution that transsexual and genderqueer individuals experience not only on-line, but in every facet of their lives?

Furiosity also posts to ask people to apologize instead of getting defensive when informed that they have offended "someone's race/culture/language/sexual orientation/gender identity/whatever". In her post meddie_flow comes to Synecdochic's defense with the ever popular Bingo square of "She didn't mean anything by it" with a side-order of "don't turn everything into a lynch-mob". Being offended by russophobia is also likened to being offended by the color red, and I'm honestly not sure if the irony there was intentional or not...

This wank brought to you by wank_report.

A bit of context: The Mammoth Book of Mindblowing SF is the next installment in the Mammoth Book anthology series edited by Mike Ashley. Recently, its table of contents, which lists the twenty-one stories and authors that will be included in the book, was posted on the SF Signal website.

Almost immediately, there is some grousing from the peanut gallery -- it seems that not one of the authors included in the lineup are (a)women, or (b)nonwhite. Commenters proceed to point this out, mostly keeping it down to a few sentences and seemingly content to speak up and move on. Luckily, Paul Di Filippo, one of the authors featured in the anthology, arrives on the scene, CAPS LOCK AT THE READY AND BRIMMING WITH RAGE.

( IF MAKING BAFFLING POTATO METAPHORS IS WRONG, I DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT! )

I thought I'd pop in and see what HP fandom is up to this day. And, whatdayaknow? My favourite Slytherfen are still around. angakkuq posted about this here for the_hms_stfu

The title Rehumanizing the Slytherins: How Fandom Gave Humanity Back to a Quarter of the Wizarding World" made me weepy, albeit because I was laughing so hard. The linked essay is only a precis of the 20 page "academic presentation" sagedarkwoods gave. It's pretty standard pretentious fan meta, with headings such as "Queering the Slytherin Identity". (To her credit, there's no argument being made that being a Slytherin is just like being gay, only that some fans see it that way.)

The comments, on the other hand.... I'll just excerpt my favourite:

( This causes self-esteem issues and mental health problems. )

ETA: Bonus Wank:How Would Harry Potter Judge Susan Boyle? in which it is revealed that Snape is just like Susan Boyle, and Harry is Simon Cowell, but meaner. On the other hand, JKR is Simon Cowell, because JKR has had makeovers, and Cowell arranges makeovers. (Hat tip to mariem_1 for links in her own post.)

Twisting the Hellmouth is a Buffy fan-fic site mostly for crossover stories. Awards are given by popular demand in different categories.

JoeHundredair, who is apparently a moderator on this site, decided a winning story written by mrmiklos contained too many grammatical errors and spelling mistakes… that the story was “sufficiently bad to prevent the majority of readers in enjoying the story”, and so quarantined it.
The reasoning:
After reading the start of 'Sunnydale Berserker' by MrMiklos, I sent him a review suggesting he acquire a beta because as an award winner, I felt his story should reflect a far higher quality of work than it did. In other words, we voted it the best, so it should be better than other stories on the site... right?

Upon further review, JoeHundredair and other moderators say ‘just kidding’ and decide the grammar/writing isn’t really that bad. However, the story was not properly classified as a ‘multiple crossover story’ when it was submitted to the site, and awards are not given to “multiple crossover” stories. So TtH removed the award from MrMiklos; a second author, Marcus Rowland, also has his award stripped for the same reason.

Marcus Rowland handles this with some grace.

mrmiklos does not, and flounces off.

Only he doesn't fully flounce off, but sticks around to fight some more.

JoeHundredair continues to comment back, with CAPSLOCK to EMPHASIZE some POINTS. Abuses of power and vedetta abound.
Ignotus, a commentator, tries to keep perspective:
You know, this reminds me of something that I saw happen at my local library the other day. That situation was resolved quite easily... the mother took the kid home.

Wank continues.

Edited to make links work, hopefully.

As Whomageddon rolls on, doctorwho  brings us another sterling gem. Or rather, two bright turds of wank, coupled together to form a synergistic pile of perfection.

First, cringer1982 shares that he's written a very pointed letter to the BBC about how they have portrayed Asians in their recent episode Turn Left. He neglects to mention that he's white as the fresh driven snow. Irish, in fact.

BBC officials respond with a letter that has nothing to do with anything.

Some people don't see his point.

( Meanwhile, back on the blog... )

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

And another dressing room wank.

Some people feel uncomfortable at the dressing room for the Tales of videogames series, talesofdressing and wonder about making their own sandbox.

And then some players of talesofdressing get offended about the implication of people getting limits.

Highlights?

The 'n' word isn't racist! It's just a word!

Would you get offended if someone said motherfucker?

Mini meta wank.

SGA fandom is race wanking - yes, again. This time it started with a review Cesperanza wrote about last week's SGA episode, "Midway," aka the Teal'c and Ronon duke it out ep.  Ces says:

"this ep is going in the waste bin, because, I'm sorry, I am TOTALLY UNAMUSED by the Ronon/Teal'c fight. I think its humiliating, and treats the characters like animals, and I'm horrified at the betting, like it's--what--a cockfight? And to me it's racialized and repulsive: I was typing to Linabean: REPULSED REPULSED REPULSED and that about covers it. I'm absolutely repulsed. I don't care if it's supposed to be a showdown like Batman vs. Superman or the Hulk vs. Thing or whatever--fact is, you had two black men beating the shit out of each other and drawing the largest crowd we've ever seen on Atlantis thus far. And like, this thing of "Ronon and Teal'c have so much in common"--they DO NOT. THEY REALLY DO NOT. They are two men with darker skin than the rest of the cast, but Teal'c is overwhelmingly gentlemanly, and they were portraying Ronon like a beast, though he totally is NOT a beast, and just--WHAT THE FUCK, SGA, SERIOUSLY."

People come by, agree and discuss.  Some DON'T (and LiviaPenn gets involved).

Then, ZZanthalinn stops by to say that Jason Momoa is Polynesian, not black, hence Ronon is too? HERE. More of Momoa is Hawaiian thread.

However, Anonymous is just "pissed off" about the fight after reading Cesperanza's review.





 

Over on LJ's idontdance community, devoted to (apparently) a High School Musical slash couple, the mods post to ask people to please avoid making potentially racist remarks regarding the hair of one of the two characters involved.

Predictably, the wank is started in the first comment by killerspork33, who takes every possible opportunity to point out that s/h/it knows a white person with hair like that!, and goes on to contribute half the comments and 80% of the point-missing and general wankery to the post as a whole.

Fortunately for the lulz-to-serious ratio of the wank, it's not all standard racism wank -- we have alethalia wanking about how edgy and un-PC s/h/it is and how the mods are being oppressive and are suppressing s/h/it's speech.

headachehead wanks over use of the word "retarded" as a generalized insult, is offended at being called immature, and complains about being disrespected for "having a sense of humor."

Small in terms of comment-count, but efficiently packaged. Now that it's hit metafandom in a comment, it might even expand.

In the Guardian: Manish Vij thinks that the Simpsons character Apu is a demeaning stereotype. Special exception is taken to "7-Eleven's bizarre promotion, which moves a crude ethnic stereotype into the real world. Desi franchise employees, among others, are being asked to don Kwik-E-Mart costumes with Apu nametags, come to work under banners mocking their ethnicity, and bid customers goodbye with the phrase, 'Thank you, come again!'" Comparisons to minstrel shows are made.

Comments go boom. Lots of "You're exactly right!" and "I'm Indian/Asian and I think it's funny!" Much self-righteousness and tl;dr on both sides; as grapefruitzzz said, "Ah, Guardian blog wank. A rich vein, nutritious and ever-flowing."

Because really, why hasn't any Doctor Who finale-wank been posted? Are all the wankas too busy wanking themselves?

( Great big honking spoilers for the Doctor Who series 3 finale )

These are by no means all the links related to the wank, so feel free to add links in the comments!

salem_wikkat posts to BRPS:

Racism is fucking funny to me when done as an in character thing, not irl. It's never funny then - unless you're a black, mexican or puerto-rican, comedian making fun of the "white folk" - however, I've always enjoyed it IC.

Yet, is it really that offensive?

Shockingly, wank unfolds in the comments. My favorite bit is this exchange, which devolves into misreading, namecalling, and general pomposity with delightful speed.

The problem, of course, is that everyone is interrogating this post from the wrong perspective:

To think when I started this I was thinking about Dwarves and Elves an the inter-politics between these groups, but I wanted to see who'd jump to conclusions first.

Posting something inflammatory and waiting for teh drama to unfold? Where I'm from, son, we call that trolling.

Small but with excellent growth potential.

Over on snarry_games, it's Team Wartime vs. Team Postwar for who can post the best-rated stories involving student/teacher debauchery, etc., nothing new.

Naturally, this means that some racewank is going to explode.

First off, montanadan posts a story in which Snape is a gypsy. Apparently massive wank ensues in a locked post (but allusions are left in some other posts noted below), and the fic's headers are edited.

Wank tends to travel in pairs, and themostepotente posts a story featuring Snape and Harry going to hang out with some Native American tribe.. Wacky hijinks ensue thanks to the fact that Indians mate for life. Who knew that they were werewolves?

The fic is labeled "Humor/Angst", but, well...decide for yourself if it's funny.

( Click here if you really want to keep reading )

Do you remember the Barista, please!(™) wank, wherein we learned the terrible trials and travails of brown people in SGA fandom AUs, and the original commenter was sorry, but the main banner waver that she tagged-in so she wouldn't have to soil her hands.... Well, that guy has issues in general. (Sambo? Really?)

More importantly, do you remember the extensive post on this topic by liviapenn, which probably had several good points that got totally buried when it devolved into a discussion about racist portrayals of Characters of Color as kitties?

Good. We're relatively caught up now. On with part two, because the whole damn fandom has fallen into this fountaining explosion of splooge, and they've started seriously flinging it into each other's eyes now.

You've got your countless discussions and debates. Was it rude? Are Ronon and Teyla aliens? (Wait, what?) Why should the writer's discomfort matter? Wait, isn't this actually about class? (Apparently not.) And so on and so forth. Metafandom has become almost entirely lost to debates about the justification for pulling white people over on the information superhighway.

But in amidst all the "No, you're racist," "No, you're overreacting," "No, you're missing the point," and "No, you are" arguments and counter-arguments, something really special is going down, because permetaform has decided that all these other discussions just aren't hard-core enough for her feelings on this topic. It's time for her to show just how much she despises "the other side" in this whole affair: by defriending and shutting out of her life anyone who might have been involved with the side she disagrees with about this.

No, really. Anyone. The deleted comment in its entirety? "LOL Agreed! :D" Nor is this the only case of probable overkill; the comments are chock-full of bewildered people wondering what the hell they did that was so bad.

In fact, not only is she defriending for people making humorous replies to anything involved in the matter, she's also defriending people for doing... absolutely nothing, as far as I can tell. ltlj--that LTLJ--certainly doesn't have the slightest clue what she did, and permetaform's reply appears to indicate she just didn't hear LTLJ agonizing about her supposed faults loudly enough in public. This might be because even coniraya--remember him?--thinks she handles race well in her writing. Naturally, this produces results, if possibly not the intended ones: LTLJ makes a post bitching permetaform out from head to toe, and then deletes her LJ, disgusted with the world in general.

How does permetaform feel about this? Well, in an ETA, she tells us:

I've just come back from doing errands and ltlj's recent post was pointed out to me.

And what I'm actually feeling right now is a great huge ball of relief. Because when I first saw ltlj's name come up as associated with this mess I felt a great sense of betrayal because I'd greated respected and admired her. Finding this out was on the tail of looking at comments from people I'd respected before and just...feeling all kinds of upset and astonishment.

So yes, I jumped to conclusions. So yes, I was considerably more angry than I should have been. And yes, I should have followed up on the names as I have done with the other names instead of immediately reacted the way I had.

I sincerely apologize to ltlj for finding ill in her when there was none. I apologize for not following up and double-checking her own words before defriending. I apologize for the tone in my own comment.

I don't apologize for calling her a racist because in my post I called both everyone and no one a racist, because I believe that everybody has elements of racism in themselves to a degree. I do not level "that obscene hateful accusation" because I don't think it's useful in discussions of prejudice.

And frankly, thank you for your ranty post. It makes me very relieved to have misjudged you because it makes me very relieved that I can keep my respect for you.

This, of course, is the original edit: she's edited the post about three times since, and will probably edit more. And thus the entire, wanky saga boils down to this: one woman apparently deciding it was all an after-school special style lesson to teach her about how it's okay to have faith in things, but you still shouldn't feel shy about declaring people to be racist.

Don't we all feel like we've learned something important, now?


Note: I have ltlj's post and several different edits of permetaform's post saved, and can upload and link upon request. And at the rate permetaform is changing what she's saying, by tomorrow she may be trying to insist all she was talking about was the goodness of fluffy bunnies, so keep your own save button handy.


ETA: Various edits of permetaform's post and a saved copy of LTLJ's post are here.

On the 4th, permetaform made a new post about this. A sample:

"I realized I was being Triggered during the events of the past post, Triggering being reacting to a present situation as if the person in the present is instead the person who've given one trauma in the past."

And from the mouths of experienced wank-watchers, a groan goes up....

omglawdork writes an SGA AU story in which Ronon is a barista.

It seems that "barista" is some kind of underground racial slur nowadays. I knew there was a reason I hated Starbucks.

ETA: Parts Two through A Billion

....It really should be porn (and depending on who you are...close enough).


300 opens...and THEY'RE OFF!

People pouring in reviews decrying the big lies of history and terrorists made at the hands of "holy wood".

There is tl;dr and hilarious typos all around, and I'm sure if you keep refreshing your browser, the wank will be continuous and free flowing, so be sure to bring your rain boots and umbrella.

ETA: If that spell-check starved review you're looking at seems familiar...you've probably already seen it. Some people are either reposting comments that other reviewers have written, or under other yahoo user names.

ETA II: Too good to pass on: When recruiting for Christ in a movie thread goes wrong. Still has nothing on the guy that tried to convert lions at a zoo, but it's worth a look.

ETA III: It was only matter of time before the entire country of Iran joined in this wank-fest.

Once upon a time, in a wonderful land full of profit, the good company Disney, not content with its other triumphs, decided to go out and establish itself on Broadway. And thus it was that Beauty and the Beast, Tarzan, Mary Poppins, The Lion King and Aida came to the fair city of New York and delighted the hearts of children and adults everywhere. But not all were pleased with the works of Disney, and seeing the happy faces of children spilling out of Disney musicals darkened the hearts of posters on Broadway internet boards. A great evil began to arise, and the dark-hearted ones attempted to bring doubt to those who loved the good Disney. "The Disneyfication of Broadway is bad!" they cried. "Where are the days of original musicals? Why must Disney take so many theaters?" But Disney carried on with their work, undaunted.

And then it was that Disney decided to expand its happy empire with The Little Mermaid. Rumors began to swirl, encouraged by the dark hearts of the doubting internets posters: how will this be staged? Will there be water involved? Will it be as wretched as Tarzan? But their most insidious tool of evil was.... casting rumors. "Who will play the roles?" the innocently curious people asked, not knowing the danger. And then it was that someone claimed that Norm Lewis would play Triton, the father of Ariel the mermaid. And then it followed that wank exploded in the dark internet realm of Broadwayworld, for the rumored Ariel is white, and lo, Norm Lewis is African American.

A great battle was waged with terrible cost. FOAnatic lead the charge with an inability to imagine just how this will work out:
Please someone explain this to me.

Ariel is white.

I'm all for color-blind casting, but when it's believeable.

This, I don't get.

Sweeping generalizations were made by Fenchurch (who rather enthusiastically throws him/herself into such threads):
The debate itself is racist. Having a problem with a person in a role solely based on their skin color is racist.

Period. End of Story. There's no getting around it, no verisimilitude arguments, they don't hold water. If you can't see past the skin color of a person, you're a racist.

Plain and simple.

Fenchurch and FOAnatic continued to duel (My argument is right, his argument debases humanity), and others joined in. As time went on, some fell to fighting over the concept of color-blind casting, and others spoke of mermaid genetics and discussed the sad discrimination against giant lobsters and bird actors in the musical industry. Some tried to walk a middle-ground and come up with explanations as to why a merman could be black and his merdaughter be white. But the darkest hour came when Fenchurch implied that those in disagreement with him were members of the KKK:
If it's a problem for you, then you're more than welcome to put on a white sheet and protest in front of the theater, or in frony of Disney's offices.

Wildly exaggerated rhetoric flew. Those who could threw up the defenses of mockery and graphics, but still the uncomprehending raged on:
You obviously don't know me at all....Or anything about biracial families...which exist all over the country...there are families who have a black parent and a white parent and blonde-haired/blue eyed kids....look at the Singerl twins...perfect example...That's all I'm gonna say about this...I can't educate the totally STUPID!!!!!!!

Will there be a happy ending, or will chaos rule the land? Good Disney didn't write this one, but since it involves the evil internet, I doubt the perfect ending is in sight.

So trinityofone saw an advance screening of 300 and she didn't like it very much. The language is rather overwrought (she begins the review by calling the film "the most disgusting piece of pro-Iraq war propaganda I have ever seen"), but there's no actual wank to be had until Page 3, when people start to disagree. Some are polite, some are sarcastic and mildly offended, some show a curious aversion to addressing her as "you", and some suggest that she "go commit 45-caliber fellatio, you dumb cunt". (Hey, at least they're using the second person.)

And a very special visit from our friend Rann.

Can I call La Folle Allure the red-headed stepchild of SPN fandom?

Well, talk to the gpa, hate meme, etc. etc. Nobody likes her but that doesn't stop them from posting about her (surprise!)

She made a post about a recent episode (yes? I don't watch the show)

http://la-folle-allure.livejournal.com/111559.html#cutid1

In it we find such gems as:

2) BLACK MAN PAT DOWN!!! Fucking Christ, I will NEVER get tired of black people touching Dean. Ever. Never ever ever EVER.

And

3) Dean telling Sam he wasn’t going to go in ‘naked’, thus brought a silver knife in his BOOT and NGGGHHH I’m thinking about Dean naked and there’s a black man behind him and Ben Edlund wins the internet.

....

Sam stays with Ron, Dean pokes around and gets to be the poor man’s James Bond as he slinks along walls and ducks past windows and makes it into a room where he figures out there is SOMETHING in the ceiling and gets to poke the ceiling with a large stick and BAM, body falls out, (BLACK MAN!) and Dean now knows who teh_shifter is.

Starkeymonster isn't happy. *breathes into paper bag to keep from hyperventilating with rage*

My initial response was "Well, it's nice that instead of being worried about black men defiling white women, you want them to defile white men."

http://starkeymonster.livejournal.com/182863.html?page=1#comments

Cue the comments of indignation.

Starkeymonster also decides to get a little closer.

http://la-folle-allure.livejournal.com/111559.html?thread=4244679#t4244679

There's losts more I'm sure. If you find it, I'll add it.

[edit] From Wanktastic, a link to La Folle Allure're chat log in which she delights in being Un-PC and she sure is. Way too long to paste.

http://la-folle-allure.livejournal.com/102938.html#cutid1