( Spoilers for Torchwood and oh god great linky madness within. Enter at your own risk. )

This post brought to you by the ridiculously helpful mousies on wank_report, the letter W and the number 4. (The W is for wut and 4 is how many cups of coffee I've already had today).

Watchmen screenwriter David Hayter writes a sincere but slightly tongue-in-cheek open letter on Hardcore Nerdity to Watchmen fans and non-fans, to urge them to see the movie more than once in order to understand it.

One of his other points is that he thinks those who hate the movie on principle without having seen it should let it marinate in their minds and give it a chance:

It may upset you. And it probably will upset you.

And all along, we really meant it to. ...All this time, you’ve been waiting for a director who was going to hit you in the face with this story. To just crack you in the jaw, and then bend you over the pool table with this story. With its utterly raw view of the darkest sides of human nature, expressed through its masks of action and beauty and twisted good intentions... Like the Comedian on the Grassy Knoll. ...You'll be thinking about this film, down the road. It'll nag at you. How it was rough and beautiful. How it went where it wanted to go, and you just hung on. How it was thoughtful and hateful and bleak and hilarious. And for Jackie Earle Haley.

Trust me. You'll come back, eventually. Just like Sally.

Comments begin in the 'we love Watchmen (although some of us have reservations about the swinging massive blue dong), go Dayter' mould, until people, from page three onwards, suddenly notice the metaphor he used to describe how the movie should make you feel:

DUDE. No one asks to be cracked in the jaw and bent over the goddamned pool table. Was there NO OTHER ANALOGY you could have used? Do you realize that you're comparing your movie to a rapist and the moviegoers to victims asking for it? And what is this "You'll come back. Just like Sally" crap? Do you have any f***ing idea how offensive that is? Could you not have come up with some other analogy, some other pithy tag, something that doesn't make it out like the Comedian was doing Silk Spectre a f***ing favor when he beat her bloody and tried to rape her?

Did you mean to do that?? If not, erm, consider your words more carefully next time you do the "open letter" thing, because wow, did that part get away from you.

Dayter comments on page 7 with an apology claiming he does not condone violence against women, which is edited into the original article. People briefly thank him for apologising, and then attack him again. Dayter responds graciously via huge spoonfuls of sarcasm and retracting his apology (page 8):

Clearly, you can't get less hateful or spewy than that. I humbly retract the statement.

Anyway, I'm sorry you disliked the film.

And you're right, I don't know why I ever set out to do this in the first place. It's really the world I'm hurting. Damn my family, and their almost-constant need for food!

On top of all of this there's huge amounts of movie rage, but the best thing about the whole altercation is the people at Hardcore Nerdity going so far as to make a video response urging people to LEAVE DAYTER ALONE, starring a very angry Dr. Manhattan.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a LiveJournal user called _allecto_ who hated Joss Whedon and his so called feminist reputation, and was determined to expose him for what he was.

To that end, she posted a rant on her LiveJournal which, to be quite frank, has to be read to be believed.

Here.

Highlights:
Zoe calls Mal 'sir' (thereby proving that Joss hates women).

Mal threatens to duct-tape Kaylee's mouth and lock her in the hold (thereby proving that _allecto_ would not recognise humour if it bit her on the butt while wearing a Groucho Marx disguise...oh, and Joss hates women).

The best bit?

On the strength of Joss' work on Firefly and interviews she has seen, _allecto_ alleges that:

I feel awful for Joss Whedon's wife. From what I've read about him and the interviews I've watched, I'm fairly certain that he rapes his wife and abuses her in various other ways.

Because _allecto_ appears to be screening comments (can't imagine why) or deleting any she doesn't like (ditto), disagreeing comments can be found in another LJ:

here.

~~~

ETA: Whedonesque reacts.

Screencaps of Whedonesque before it's gone can be found here.

Neither did I. Well, we learn something new every day. This is so small I considered putting it in Clairvoyant Wank, but it's like one of those little battery-operated buttons -- just because it's small doesn't mean it's not strong.

So over in FFR (yes again!) LittleDuchess posts a rant about writers who treat dub-con or non-con as fluffy because it's an OTP and therefore twu wub. It's not a rant against non-con, but rather fics that don't label it as such when the girl's written as protesting and saying no and the guy keeps ripping her clothes off, and the OP finding it a little skeevy.

All's well and good, along with discussions about The Shiek (...shiek. Not streak. We'll pretend I didn't at first misread that as the Ray Stevens song.) and nobody's wanking.

Not until cactuswren posts a checklist, "Are you a rapist?"

devilindupriest Takes exception. hard. So hard, in fact, that I'm really tempted to call him a troll or maybe RFJason in disguise. Because wow.

[the checklist] basically labels all men as evil raping scum and if you don't agree you're part of the problem. It's the same logic the radical right uses turn 'pedophilia' into a code-word for the 'gay agenda'.

Cepheid Nebulae tries to explain: Except for the fact that a man who has sex with a woman under those circumstances actually *is* a rapist. Refusing to label a man who forces a woman to have sex with him a rapist on the grounds that it promotes misandry has to be the most warped application of political correctness I've ever seen.

But devilindupriest is having none of that! *Claps* Beautiful. Touching. I can hear the ringing sincerity. But I gotta tell you, when you make broadbrush statements that are as equally sweeping as the radical right refering to any act that results in an abortion as murder, don't be suprised when a large portion of the population stops listening to any part of your message.

The rabid fascism of people with pet political hobby-horses will be a never-ending source of wonder to me.

Small, but powerful. I want to say he's a troll. It's usually trolls who have the practice to hit wank in under 30 seconds like that.

Mod Tags: a mod likes this rant, don't forget the lube!, fap fap fap, fell off the wank wagon, help me i'm lost, i don't think that means what you think, i have a martyr complex, inflated sense of self-importance, keeping jergens in business, logic go boom, please please pay attention to me!, rape rants, someone's asking for trouble, unf unf unf, wank comment invasion

So there's this community called the_great_hall_ which is the e-equivilant of the HP Great Hall in that people who have been sorted into different houses (communities, in this case) come to mingle. For their April fools prank, the Slytherin members "hacked" into the Hufflepuff house community and changed their layout.

Anjala is not amused..

For you see folks, all this is just like she has been raped all over again.

( Anjala LJ And The Amazing Emotional Breakdown. )

Things only gets weirder when you find out this woman is apparently 34 years old.

The Hufflepuff mod appears and is even less amused at Anjala's lack of amusement. (Correction: This is not the hufflepuff mod but the slytherin mod of the comm. Sorry about the mixup there.)

Finally, the shit gets stirred up enough that we get Snakes on a response (poster on a lack of sense of humor)

And, in a way that makes me seriously wonder if this is not some kind of retaliation prank, Anjala makes the Obligatory I Am Leaving Post.

I need some Blackcest now. I.. Don't quite know what to say, really. Like enteledont in Stupid_free said, this July is going to be SPECTACULAR.

BPRS wank, amusing, but small.

water_rose rants about a pair of jerkoffs on her RPG making light of raping her character.

Sorry guys, but I don't find rape funny. Most people with even a trace of common sense don't find the subject amusing. You don't know me at all, so therefore I will admit you have no way of knowing I was assulted when I was younger, but WTF gave either of you the idea such a thing was even remotely worth saying?! I've had years to deal with my experience and you guys didn't upset me more then the moment of brain-breaking shock you gave me but on a game as large as Achaea did it not cross your tiny minds that there just MIGHT be assult and/or rape survivors on the game?

There is a lot of agreeing that those guys are asshats and rape in RPGs should either never be done or that if it is done they need permission first. But not everyone is understanding.

iamseph: I know I'm going to get flamed for saying this, and it's nothing personal, but so the fuck what?
People get bullied, pushed around, beaten up, thrown into pits of caustic slime and all sorts of other things in RPGs, none of these things are very nice and there is the high possibility that these things have happened to other players too in such a large game. I've a few of violent and aggressive characters and if everyone my character threatened with a beating went on a whining bent over how they're traumatised for life because they were beaten up once at school because of it and somehow seemed to think I was doing it as a joke, I would then carry through with the characters threats just to make them realise how goddamned seriously dangerous my violent characters are.

But it gets best when angelicdominic points out the irony of being OMG so hurt by the threat of rape, then going around and telling anyone with an internet connection that she was assaulted.

kepulver: So, because a person can say "I've been raped/assaulted" they are therefore not allowed to be angry when people treat their experiences as a joke/stupid threat on an RPG?

skyshark: Yeah. More people should live in fear, silence, and shame, and certainly never try to discourage an atmosphere that supports people who think like their attackers. They really ought to be quiet when they're in a textual world of anonymity. And if something upsets them, there's no need for them to do anything but suck it up! It's not like the topic should be more important to them as a survivor, or anything. It's only a major traumatic incident.

I should find someone who experienced a rare flesh-eating disease and ask them to come play the part of a patient with a terminal illness in my new production. If they object in front of people, I'll be sure to send you a tape. Comedy at its best, baby.

I'm a little disappointed it left the main page before it kicked off.

This is really only wank-worthy because it's a follow-up to a very memorable wank and involves a very memorable wanker.

Recently, our beloved InuGrrrl was plagiarized on FanFiction.net.

Naturally, the fic in question was 'He Saw Red' (subsequently renamed, "He Saw Red: Respect the Alpha" after the wank broke out regarding how Inuyasha clearly wasn't a rapist, just an 'alpha male') or as the plagiarist re-titled it, 'The Alpha'.

Upon learning of the plagiarism, InuGrrrl promptly cried out to her fans who in turn have swarmed the plagiarist's review board. And while I do not suggest that anyone actually take the time to read all the flames, they are worth skimming if you need a good chuckle.

Although my personal favorite review thus far has got to be the one from ravenmoon456:
"great story, but one question, did inuyasha rape her?"

It starts out innocently enough... An author posts their sparkly first fic (which she swears is a crack!fic but I think it leans more towards bad!fic) on mckay_sheppard. A comment is left by iibnf suggesting they might want to add "non con" to their warnings... and we're off!!!

remainunashamed swears This. Fic. Is. Not. Non-con.!!!! You guys decide who's on the shit side of the fence. amireal tries valiantly to explain why a character threatened with genital mutilation or sex is "Non-Con"... but it's like talking to a brick wall. A very belligerent brick wall.

ETA: If you're a bad!fic connoisseur you'll enjoy the missing almost sex scene she wrote as a follow up to her fic...

In alchemylab, the LJ general BPAL community, orodemniades posts about what to wear to a funeral. Her other half's nephew of sorts has died, and oro seems genuinely confused and flustered and tries to find a perfume that is not inappropriate - especially important as she seems to be someone with a very strong scent memory. A few members offer condolences and ideas.

filleconcrete, however, seems to think that one couldn't possibly think about anything other than grief when someone close to them dies - after all, her mother died, and she didn't think about perfume at all, so most people probably wouldn't either. However, she doesn't really care about any of this, just thought it necessary to comment on it repeatedly. Also, flowers can't be comforting, since she was apparently raped in a flowerfield. Or something.

ETA: I found more semi-wank featuring filleconcrete. This one isn't about death, really, just about how OMG musk can kill you! BPAL shouldn't use musk! But it's okay because they don't use real musk, but they also don't use a synthetic! What? Exactly! Here!

Kyou Kara Maou (KKM) is an anime/manga/novel series where the subtext is pretty much text, in which there are several bishounen, almost no girls, and HoYay! everywhere. I mean it. The gay is strong within this fandom.

So far the anime series has ended recently, but there's still manga, novels... and now, shipwars.

shirono makes a post over the Kyou Kara Maou community with a poll.

01. The first character I first fell in love with
02. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now
03. The character everyone else loves that I don't
04. The character I love that everyone else hates
05. The character I used to love but don't any longer
06. The character I would shag anytime
07. The character I'd want to be like
08. The character I'd slap
09. A pairing that I love
10. A pairing that I despise

Three guesses and two are already out about HOW did that go.

*meanwhile wonders where all the Huber fans are*

*EDITED because my HTML skills are nonexistant this night*


Oh, and EDITED again to point to this... piece of smart: Conrad is SUCH a rapist!

The Hills Have WANK
So, last night I went to go see The (terrible) Hills Have Eyes, and ended up walking out about halfway through. Curious about if I was the only one to have this reaction (and, yes, wanting a bit of entertainment), I wandered over to IMDB.

Holy shit.

Jaredk starts the thread saying that the film is "just nasty." However, this post dates back to the end of February, while the movie was just released this weekend, so lemasteraustin says that if jaredk really *has* seen an advanced screening of the movie, then he can tell her/him how brutal the rape scene is. Jaredk says there is no "real rape scene."

And the can of wank is opened.

People argue about whether the scene was merely molestation or rape. Trolls jump in to say the rape scene was awesome. Lemasteraustin argues/wanks with multiple partners about which is worse: rape or murder, and whether rape has any place in horror movies.

Some choice lines:

You know what? If it were a choice between "just rape" (as in JUST forced non-consensual sexual intercourse with NO torture or extra brutality beyond that) and PHYSICAL TORTURE or DEATH, I would 100% of the time choose rape. It's not a decision I come to lightly, nor is it one that I wish to ever, EVER have to make, but in the end, it is a simple choice.

I'm a guy and I've never been raped. If I could chose between getting raped and dying (painlessly) I would have to choose rape, even if it was by one of the demons from 'Legend of the Overfiend'. I find the thought of nothingness after death sh!t scary. I understand that the mental anguish would be long lasting and most probably forever with rape but at the same time so can other bad experiences, either physical or mental.

hokay anyone ever noticed that Hillbillies are annoyingly creepy and extremely dangerous? (Texas) i think the government should have them marked as extremely dangerous and kept in their own high security places, becuase they freaking scare me more than anything else.

ok why is NOBODY noticing the fact that they're HILLBILLIES!?

i've noticed that a lot of the movies in which the people get killed in the middle of nowhere is because they're HILLBILLIES

hillbillies = end of world. they're massing for an attack. they're like sheep, they're going to take over.

yeah i know it was sick man just sick there is no rape scean that weired guys tries but the other monster get's him off her and then the other chick come's in and get's her tit suck lol

Your run of the mill IMDB wank. Enjoy.

Edit: (Because IMDB likes to mess with people) The title of the thread is "BRUTAL" started by jaredk.

This is just a GAFF baby wank. It looks to be pretty much over, but I thought the absurdity was too funny not to share.

It starts when Ouchthathurt posts a fic snark in New Releases. All is well for several days, with interested GAFFers providing the usual snark and "pass the bleach" comments.

Rabid Badger mentions another Trigun smutfic, a somewhat famous one in which Wolfwood rapes Meryl with guns. Again, the usual "I know that fic! Aauugh! Run away!" comments from GAFFers. Again, all is the usual snarking-in-peace that goes on on GAFF.

Then, evilmouse, the author of the Wolfwood rapes Meryl with guns fic shows up to say "OMG, you meanies! How dare you judge my fetishes or my right to fanfic them?!" Complete with a copy of an e-mail she made to Rabid Badger.

Then, the real fun begins.

Flying Skull proceeds to tell evilmouse that she wishes for her to get gangraped by several large, smelly men. "May you be raped and not once; may you be gang-raped by lots of 'HAWT UNTAMED EROTICA' seeking males for at least a month."

This is followed by Ouchthathurt tearing apart evilmouse's post, followed by evilmouse tearing apart her comments with psuedo-intellectual babble about how anyone should be able to do anything they want with fanfiction without being criticised for it (evilmouse apparently completely misses the point of GAFF, not to mention the point that some of the other posters there were trying to make about real rape being a distinctly different thing than "romance rape.")

FlyingSkull makes allegations that evilmouse, despite presenting herself as a female, is actually a man playing pretend, and again with the "I hope you're gang raped!"

BarnabasFrid comes along with the classic "Don't liek, don't reeeeed!" defense that is the staple of many fangirls. She praises evilmouse as as having "stellar" writing skills, and proceeds to take the thread off topic by explaining how she wrote a Dark Shadows fanfic in which a character who normally would never say "fuck" says "fuck" and talks about how she based her entire fanfic on that premise. She accuses GAFF of being childish, complete with an invoking of Snacky's Law.

And BF plugs her upcomming Hitler lemon! Oh joy!

PixeBob says in response "If you were truly a fan of the these characters, you wouldn't be twisting them around making them do things they wouldn't actually do."

BF takes offense and responds with "Of course I'm a true fan! I'm fanner than you! I got tattoos of the character on my body!" complete with photographs of her tattoos, to OMG PROVE SHE'S FANNER THAN ALL OF US!!!

People snark, BF accuses GAFF of being bullies who are insecure with themselves. She/He/It proposes the game "Let's see who can shut up longer!"

Evilmouse calls FlyingSkull out on her desire to see her gang raped.

Everything sort of dies down with laughing at the trolls after that, though BF manages to get one last Adolf Hitler quote in.


(Sidenote to the few people who *might* remember me here: MillyFan/Ouchthat hurt and I are no longer buds. I feel no need to defend her anymore if anyone calls her out as wanky. However this is not grudewank. I don't think she's being wanky here, she just happened to be the originator of the thread).

I posted on the thread, though, at least so far, I'm not really involved in the wank - why I thought to post here instead of I_Wank. Please tell me right away if this thread should be moved there. Thank you.

Short but sticky Inuyasha wank.

InuGrrrl writes your average, everyday, typical violent rape fic (with "i luv u"s exchanged after the fact to signal to the reader that It's All Good) and initially makes no note of this in her summary.

It's the typical kissing ass until 'distressed' points out that a disclaimer might be nice, among other things.

( Brief Excerpt )

Heavy-handed, but not incorrect. That, however, inspires InuGrrrl to remove the fic from AFF (no great loss), much to the dismay of a few rabid squirrely fangirls.

( Highlights from the Reviews )

'distressed' replies again and tries to correct a few misconceptions about her review, which don't seem to stick in anyone's brain. Finally InuGrrrl reposts the story with a tl;dr comment of her own in the reviews where she whines about how she did not glorify rape, and throws this gem into her new author's notes:

I have decided to repost my story. Enough people have requested it and I think it's fair. I have also added N/C and OOC to my summary but I will NOT add rape. It wasn't a rape and I won't say it was to please others.

Because just because it's non-consensual, that doesn't make it rape! There's also a note from her beta reader about this topic, revealing that this story, which focuses on how Kagome is 'beta' to Inuyasha's 'alpha' and must be put in her place, was a gift for the beta reader.

I don't know about anyone else, but if the person I betaed for wrote a fic about raping a 'beta' as a present to me, I would run for the Internet Hills.

ETA: Looks like the author got wind of things and the story/reviews came down with it. I, being a good little veteran of FW, have saved the story, the beta's note, and the original reviews.

Also, check out the entertaining wanking going on in this very post right here!

Kyou Kara Maou! is a shonen ai anime about a boy who gets sucked into another world when his head gets flushed in a toilet by bullies. Turns out in the fantasy world he the Moau(king of mazouko) accidently betrothes himself to another boy and basically wackiness ensues. It's cute it's silly and the fans are pretty laid back(when word came the show had been licensed there was some concern but the overall opinion was this was a Good thing) So I was surprised when today on the Kyou_Kara_Maou lj community Cre__amy posted a little snippit of a fic implying(but no actual) rape, and asking if it is worth continuing. Personally I think there's not enough written to judge if it worth developing or not.

People begin bitching about the implied rape.

Elsewherecw finds Michechu dislike of non-con odd considering an icon Michechu made earlier and posted.

Baby wank and looks like it's over, but I found it rather interesting considering the previous history of the comm.

edit: fixed some spelling mistakes

ETA: katsue Reported that the wank has disappeared apparently because of the original poster trying to fix her lj-cut, not due to anyone trying to hide the wank. A mod has stepped in to try to sort out the issue and figure out what happened, but that post is locked so I won't be sharing it here.

As a response to the Milk Wank, Feminist_Rage would like to tell us something.

We're all ugly, nasty trolls (and probably patriarchal too!).

Since I'm a troll, does this mean I get to wield a huge club and live under a bridge? Cool!

Thanks to an anon poster for this one...

Over in Feminist_Rage, someone posted about how she doesn't get why women order skim milk/claim they're fat

And then...Milk=Rape! OMG!

...good lord. This boggles the mind.

(and yes, I had to throw in my own mind about how yes, a matricial society *would* and *did* domesticate animals, but it will probably be ignored)

EDITS--linked the anon poster, and wow, the wanker *is* going after me.

EDIT2--It seems I've now been banned from there, for my comments in this part, which is also insanely wanky. MARVEL! As me and Deohride are accused of being trolls for not conforming to the "OMGMales ruin everything!" point of view.

I got bored a little while ago, and started plugging random things into the livejournal interests search. Being a masochist, one of the first things I tried was "Anti-RPS"

Via this search, I found Anti_Fandomrape, a community basically dedicated to being against everything-we-don't-like. All the major flamewars are sitting here, just WAITING...slash, RPS, chan/lolita...

And, of course, Rapefic.

The level of insanity to which Calimante (who I really, REALLY wish I could believe was JUST a crazy troll, rather than a crazy troll with "extras") takes it to is just...unique.

( Really, really...unique... )

Needless to say, even people who are anti-rapefic find all this a little bit creepy. And we get probably the wordiest fuckin' wank I've seen in a LONG time. Massive blocks of text, each creepier than the last. Also, Calimante is one of those people who's FAR too fond of using big pictures in posts.

Go have a look. It just keeps getting "better", and I don't even want to guess the number of jurisimprudence laws that are broken in here, or how many can be inspired by it.

And be sure to keep an eye on anti_fandomrape. Methinks that, if it's not fully dead, it'll keep providing us with joy.

ETA: No way, I think we have a tie-in...

If you look over at this post on i_wank, you can read about rann's run-in with a whacko, who was very anti-rapefic, had a familiar looking use of grammar and insanity, and posted as Heinrich Walker.

Now, check what Calimante has under "name" on his Livejournal profile...and, now that I check, what Heinrich Walker has as his URL on the link rann provided...

ETA2: Ladies, gentlemen and assorted sockpuppets, we have LJDrama. (Thanks to flutterg for the heads up.)

The wank is in the comments, specifically one commentor:

What, you mean some women actually have rape fantasies? OMG! That's, like, sick and wrong and INDECENT. Because, sexual fantasies, are, of course, a place where decency and decorum should be exercised at all times.

Wow. So, my fantasy about Sean Bean in highwayman gear kidnapping me at swordspoint and having his wicked wicked way with me means that I really want Sean Bean to kidnap me at swordspoint and have his wicked wicked way with me?

...

Er. Bad example. You get the drift.