Kim Stolz, former America's Next Top Model token lesbian contestant and current MTV News Correspondent (second only to Kurt Loder in the "Are you sure s/he's not a robot?" category) is upset with Tyra Banks apparently dissing her in one of this season's photoshoots. (Complete with parody judging.) Someone in the LJ Top Model Community who appears to be off their meds wanks about it here.

Will Tyra respond? Stay tuned.

This is a tiny one sided wank, but it made me giggle. Of course that might be the bottle of knob creek I just finished.

Popwatch asks readers to share their desktop wallpaper. There are a lot of David Cook fans posting, which is fine unless you are Nihilistic:

David Cook is NOT HOT! He's a fat, pale, soulpatch-wearing, prematurely balding oaf and in six months you people are all going to be ashamed of yourselves. Mark my words. I never knew this board was made up of so many lemmings.

( C&P'ed since I can't link to individual comments in the thread )

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Ah I have been away from f_w for some time due to my life being teh busy suck, so I'm not sure if there has been Ghost Hunters wank posted lately, but since most of this pertains to the Halloween live show I doubt it repeats anything from before.

I ventured over to the Sci-Fi forums to see what happened in the wee hours of the Halloween live broadcast because due to my having to work at unseemly hours I only got to watch until 11pm and wished to catch up on anything important that happened before Wed. Instead I seemed to have walked into Ghost Hunters wank central.

Apparently two of the female investigators were rude while training one of the contest contestants during the live broadcast which is brought up here, here, here, here and in apparently deleted comments, here and in a radio broadcast to come, here and in a petition!, and so on.

Added onto that there seem to be a lot of people upset that the forum is getting too critical of TAPS, and a lot of people upset that ZOMG TAPS has changed! And let us all down with their changedness! (Which personally makes me LOL) and that Jason has become some kind of message board dictator? Here, here, and other places I'm too tired to read.

The text of all this includes possible sock puppetlyness, evil cows and other weighted remarks, for serious English majors, for serious investigators, for serious Wiccans, for serious teachers (and other for serious things!), tl;dr thoughts on yaoi Ghost Hunters, ageism, and the American military. Phew.

( Highlights perhaps... )

And so on and so on till the end of Ghost Hunting time. And all I wanted was to know if they caught anything on camera after I went to bed.

Apparently, Jeffery Sebalia, winner of the third season of the hit home-ec-on-speed reality show Project Runway, is just as much a jackass in real life as he is on TV.

Color an entire community shocked! But not necessarily for the same reasons the OP is...

This wank is small but very angry, and the combination of Big Brother spoilerage and the shootings in Montreal (not to mention Totally Random French!) is just too fucking weird to pass up.

nineashe made a spoilery post in Big Brother 7. Trouble is, the show hadn't aired on the West Coast and she forgot to put it behind a cut. Oops! There is minor outrage, but she fixes it, apologizes, and it seems to end there.

Two days later, enter bubbles11389, catalyst for FRENCHY RAGE! Well, I'm assuming it's rage, I don't speak a word of French. Anyone want to translate?
( Read more... )

But it doesn't end there! She makes another post to big_brother_7, explaining how bubbles11389's comment of yeah i'd just like to thank you for ruining the season finale for me has hurt her deeply in her soul in the wake of the shootings in Montreal. No disrespect to the victims, but using tragedy as an excuse to wank? Wanky, dude.

Here is the second post in its entirety, as I suspect it will be bahleeted.
( Read more... )

***EDIT:*** Both of nineashe's posts have been bahleeted. A new post from magentathompson has appeared in big_brother_7, calling out nineashe on her creative use of facts. It also includes a link to the reply nineashe gave magentathompson the first time magenta tried calling her out (which was bahleeted.) Nineashe likely won't respond to this latest post, as she appears to have left the fandom! community.

Here's the new post (in case of bahleetion):
( Read more... )

Wow. This wank 'sploded quite nicely.

If you watch "Trading Spouses" (or have seen the video of the womans meltdown slathered all over the internet...what? Haven't seen it? Here, enjoy), then you are familiar with Marguerite Perrin, God Warrior. In usual reality star form, Mrs. Perrin now has her own website, a brand new cd, and is making media appearances and getting movie roles. But the true wank comes in on her message board. It seems the original board was hacked and spammed with porn. And now, on the brand new board, people aren't afraid to poke some fun at her (honestly, after her appearance on TS, putting up a board and site is like putting out a sign that says "Come ridicule me!"). There was a pic spam of TubGirl that quickly disappeared, but the real wank is in Mrs. Perrin's reactions to the various posts.

If you've been watching ABC's "Dancing With The Stars", you will be familiar with the drams of better couples getting voted off while Master P plods his way through every week. From the controversy of him not putting in as many hours as the other stars (20 for him a week, compared to 100+ a week for most of the others), to his flat out refusal to wear proper dance shoes instead of sneakers named after him, to his shamelessly plugging his album this last show as the judges tore him a new one.....

Most of the fans on the ABC BB for the show are disgusted that he keeps getting voted through by the fans every week....and Master P's fans hit right back with accusations of people being "playa hatas" and the judges are racist.

People pray for his removal....
People come back defending him (Some go as far in a few threads to call him a "good sport")
Calls are made for a change in the voting system....and maybe the judges....
Then there are others who I am pretty sure are just trying to rile people up calling for the fans to vote FOR Master P.....

In honor of the new season of American Idol. This is a wank that I’ve been observing for quite some time, but at this point, it’s just gotten too funny to not share.

This past May on American Idol, the eventual winner Carrie Underwood got very emotional when fellow contestant Anthony Fedorov was voted off, crying and mouthing the words, “I love you.” Apparently, this angered Anthony’s girlfriend, Irina, and she quickly posted a tearful breakup letter on his fan club website, which she had helped run. The board broke out in a ginormous flamewar, with some fans yelling at Anthony for being a cheater and some yelling at Irina for putting her and Anthony’s bidness all over the internet.

It all culminated in one of the mods of his fansite posting a ranty goodbye post in which she called Anthony a “cheating, lying asshole” and altered her sig so that it would say the following in every post.

If a boy like Anthony Fedorov can have his trach hole penetrated by a lunging penis, why can't he win American Idol?

---Anthony Fedorov--- The real miracle isn't his voice...it's how such a large object can fit in such a tiny place.
When the dust settled, a lot of people decided that they really liked the idea of Carrie and Anthony as a couple and they started a thread on Idolforums to ship "Canthony" and make sparkly blends and badly photoshopped pics. That’s when the real crazy people showed up. Bringing conspiracy theories, PR expertise, magically talking jewelry, fake magazines, and flamewars.
( Read more... )

I hope this counts -- it's small, but I found it amusing in any case.

One poster gets fed up with the lack of LJ-cuts, and lets the community know.

( A few choice quotes )

I now understand why the HP fandom is plagiarism happy. They are the trend setters. What with their deathmatches and blacklists. Idolblacklist has come to save the Claynation from the ebil ones.

I am deeply concerned with the amount of Sexual References that are made by these people, the top 5 especially. The present themselves as Sluts of some sort, and this is NOT acceptable.

She sites rude reviews as one of the reasons her arch-nemesis should be avoided at all possible cost...I'm thinking about friending the lot of them. Also this crusader is teh suck at spamming communities. She's only a member of 6 of them when I'm in at least 7 different Clay communities. Bitch Please.

Edit: Spam Spam Spam Spam

Awww she learned to disable comments. How cute!
"it is important that the members of this Community visit my journal to view the Idol Black List.
Moderators - You should remove anyone in this community that appears on this list."

Oh goodie next come the fan gathering boycotts

Soooo ... Kelly Clarkson lost World Idol to a plumber from Norway with, according to one of the judges, "the voice of an angel and the face of a hobbit".

Which, as you know, is all about politics.

"How much are you willing to bet they invade Norway next week?"

"Come one people wat did Aretha teach us?"

And icons, naturally. This thread alone manages to include:

australian was a penal colony, sure. only way it can go is up. america was founded as a religious utopia, only way it could go was down. and by the looks of it...

Have a nice life in your beautiful country, I'm going to have a wonderful night in my nice little American house, having sex with my wonderful American fiance

oh, college? is that the american term for 'make our mummies and daddies pay for pen and paper and teacher while we have unprotected promiscuous sex and get stoned'?

( An introduction to American Idol/ Clay Aiken tinhattery. Oh, yes, there is. )

( Another main group of Clayfen aren't necessarily prone to agreeing with the first group of folks. )

Sooo... over on The Clay Aiken LJ Community, teenaged user sexystace is apparently now sexy AND pregnant, a fact which she mentions in every post. She's a "Cleegirl" and a BNF Ryan/Clay tinhat shipper, and she's really mad that tingilya and notthatlucky (who are more "vanilla" Clay fans, for lack of a better description) don't like her, and posted now-friends-locked posts (damn it!) about what a whiny irrational twat they thought she was. OK, I'm savagely paraphrasing there, but suffice it to say, she's not wrong that they don't like her. So, to disprove the rumor that she's a whiny irrational twat, it became obvious to sexystace that the logical thing to do was to throw a massive tantrum on the C_A LJ community about how mean the two girls were for not liking her and calling her a beeyotch. Because all 677 members of that community care. She also adds that this is in no way associated with the vanilla/tinhat drama going on... and then mentions her support of the cleegirls in her post AND all the comments. "It's not because you're not into Clay/Ryan shipping - it's because you're a mean assclown... and also, not into Clay/Ryan shipping."

Even her friends thought her tantrum was way out of line, though, and they tell her so in the post, and - people, it took me like an hour to stop laughing at this - sexystace became so upset about the wank that it is apparently CAUSING HER TO GO INTO PREMATURE LABOR!!!! AAAAAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Then in steps the lone voice of reason, asking why people can't post about disliking people in their own LJs, who is promptly smacked the fuck down, of course.

But that's not the end of the wank. Apparently there's elitist snobbery happening among the ranks of the tinhats, complete with accusations of cliquishness and pleas to think about THE CHILDREN instead. And that lovely bit of "Can't we all just get along you pain in the ass bitches" wank came courtesy of someone who was typing the whole rant with a broken hand.

I'm almost tempted to direct the Clyan shippers over to DataLounge and seeing if this time next year they're getting color-coded messages from Clay's socks...

ETA: BAHLETED! It appears that someone complained to the mods and the whole thing got taken down. If anyone saved it, please do post it. Otherwise, y'all missed a wank of beautiful, epic proportions. *wipes tear*

Er, or something. In the shiny American Idol fandom, some of its fans are none too happy about the treatment of a potential superstar. The contestant being discussed is Ruben Studdard, a big man with a big voice. Someone expressed dismay at the jokes made about his physical appearance and claimed that being labeled "fat" is just the same as calling African Americans "n*ggers". It only goes downhill from there. There's even a post about "turning gay." Where? At the next stoplight?