Vampire: Undeath is the newest Kickstarter project from Dark Phoenix Publishing. Despite all appearances to the contrary, this game is exactly nothing like the famous RPG Vampire: The Masquerade.

( Vampire will take you deeper than you've ever been before! )

EDIT: For later viewing pleasure, a massive collection of links of the author's exploits.

The Master's been a naughty boy recently.

ofdrumsthesound is an RP journal for the Master from Doctor Who that appears to have gained some measure of notoriety around my local RP meme comms. I can't personally comment on their IC conduct since I've never interacted with them but I've gathered from a few of my colleagues that they tend to be both out-of-character and not an easy character to deal with.

( But that's not their only problem. )

EDIT: Apparently this has been going on for several years, in different incarnations. A BRPS post explains the player's time at dear_multiverse, which includes conduct like this and driving off multiple players through their behavior. This eventually resulted in a ban for being a general godmoding squeeharshing buzzkill.

I don't think autism and social awkwardness are going to explain a multiyear fetish for creeping people out.

This tasty treat comes to you on the back of a... blue... horse/monkey thing with blond hair? OH! And by way of the lovely mice on wank_report. I happened upon some of the wank and didn't realize it until I saw the tip on the report. Thanks, mice! *tosses cheese*

Who doesn't want to be a pretty, pretty pony? Well, not me but I'm a loser. NAY! The loveliest creature is H. Renne Arc'err! Don't know him?

( cut because this is getting ridiculously long )

It all begins when theamaranthe posts to Bad Roleplayers Suck about application problems at a certain community...a roleplaying comm for “a city that needs sex to survive.” They suggest that, instead of asking for multiple revisions and edits and generally stringing a player along, maybe they should just try telling a player they’re not wanted. A few comments sympathize with OP; but a few people think the OP has posted to the wrong comm and is TOTALLY JUST BUTTHURT and start high-fiving each other over their glorious smackdown of OP. That will show theamaranthe not to post to the wrong community again, and keep it to Bad_Mods_Suck! Remember the name itsafuckingsock—they show up later.

But this story is not about theamaranthe. No. This story is about blackwinged_dov and the rest of BRPS, against the horde of Whiteknight Socks of Amat.



If you play World of Warcraft, you'll know that there is a darker, more sinister side to the game. A side known as... a Roleplaying Server. *dun dun da!*

Like most places of free range RP, there are delicious tidbits of wank. This one involves everyone's favorite- Internet Suicide!

The story starts over at The Roleplayer's Lament, a blog that brings the Mary Sues, Godmodders, and other such failures of WoW RPing to your computer screen with the added picture or two for laughs.

When you use certain addons like FlagRSP, you can give yourself a title, last name, and all sorts of horrible life details that another player would totally know instantly by looking at someone. A particularly nasty Gary Stu is posted and there is joyous mock for the RPing community.

Until the blog poster learns later that the player behind the Aizen wannabe died.

Kinda puts a damper on the fun making, right? Nah! Turns out the player *gasp* faked his WoW death to get back at the Lamenters for poking fun at him. Apparently, it's all fun and games until the tables are turned, which has various WoW RPers demanding blood for their tears and prayers, and one person suggesting he get prison raped for his Internet Death scheme.

But fear not, fellow Moon Guard-ians! For as long as this blog will stand against the test of internet time, Marrowdarkness shall forever be remembered and immortalized as a Godmodder and Death Faker! And we shall all forget this wank in time, probably when the next Sue who claims to be Illidan's newest chew toy trots into Goldshire.

Bonus: Official Forums nerd rage. T minus until Bliz nukes the thread.

Brought to you by wank_report!

Clan Mitchell is a Dreamwidth community revolving around the fictional Mitchell family, which appears to be a huge group of people who live in the Carolinas under the administration of a matriarch named Momma, generally serve in some branch of the U.S. military, and/or operate under a general curtain of good ol' American values, get-well-pies, and care packages.

Motto: "The Mitchells will inherit the earth: the meek don't move fast enough."

From the profile:

"So ivorygates and synecdochic made up a bunch of crazy Southern relatives, and the "Fuck Canon, Fanon Makes More Sense, Dammit" club (meetings on alternate Tuesdays, free t-shirts at the recruiting tables, bring your own beer but the cookies are free) firmly believes that "Kansas, my ass" is the best way to approach Cameron Mitchell's home life, and, well, there should be more fic about these people!

Not necessarily a shared-continuity set of stories -- use as much or as little as you'd like -- but a shared-character-list and a place for people to build a shared-world. Grab a Mitchell and start writing. Resistance is futile! You will be assimilated. And probably baked for."

( It all starts with a ficprompt... )
ETA: Revenge of the Sith: cap including the offending fic.

Holy ETA, Batman: (thanks, mousie)
"When someone has put in a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to create an absolutely beautiful sandbox to play in (a sandbox that they love very very much), and then not only allows you to come in and play in their sandbox, but graciously opens the door and INVITES you in, you don't shit in the sandbox. You don't. M'kay? Good."

We can't stop here, this is ETA country: It's time for the public address roll, looks like. From eilan:
* slybrarian calls for fair and balanced.
* quinfirefrorefiddle & co. are appalled at F_W's lack of journalistic integrity.
* Synecdochic's state of the union, and also ivorygates is banned. Or left. Either way, she's not a mod any more.

Okay, this was over on SF_Drama already, but the writeup on Wank Report was glorious and had better context. So here it is, courtesy of a mousey and with most of mousey's language intact (I cut some editorial and found some more links):

The SCP Foundation is creepypasta that evolved into its own wiki: it's a series of articles presented as the internal documentation of an organization that stores and studies supernatural or otherworldly entities and phenomena. It's got a convincing real-world horror bent and is fairly popular.

A while back, a few people decided to start a panfandom livejournal roleplay based on the SCP Foundation. Since there's a fair bit of overlap in audiences, Project SCP immediately garnered good word-of-mouth and a lot of interest on LJ's own RP-oriented anonymous discussion board, rpanoncomm. In fact, one of the first people who applied to the game was darksunlight, an admin of the SCP Foundation wiki (after he noted some misgivings about the idea). As one of the original contributors there, he applied for a character who's both part of the original SCP canon and his creation, one Dr. Bright.

( I'm sure this will end well.... )

Okay. This one isn't old, but it is about an old game; Tunnels and Trolls, the second role playing game ever published. It was a sort of simplified and sillier D&D, and while it had its enthusiasts, it more or less faded out of sight for a couple of decades.

Then came "the old school renaissance"; for one reason or another, people got back into the RPGs of the late 70s and early 80s. Sadly, I do not believe that they dress in period appropriate clothing while playing. So it's a renaissance, but not a faire type renaissance. Anyhow, T&T was one of those games which got a renewed surge of interest; the fifth edition of the game was published in 1979, and then there was a version 5.5 published in 2005.

Now, the company that originally published T&T was "Flying Buffalo", and they're still in business. But they weren't publishing much in the way of new stuff, so other people filled the gap. One such gap filler was "Outlaw Press", owned and operated by a fellow named James Shipman. T&T doesn't have an official 6th edition—it goes from 5.5 to 7, in part because Outlaw Press published an unofficial sixth edition, with the permission of the copyright holder.

So far, so incredibly boring, right?

But then ( things get interesting )

Sockity_sock makes a horribly vague post to Bad RPers Suck about a sex-based game. From what I can gather, something happened and the players aren't too happy, so they're dropping. Fortunately, some players from that game come along to explain what this is all about, and they happen to disagree with what Sockity_sock has to say.

First off, here's a handy summary of the events that happened. It also has an explanation of playercesting (basically playing two characters and roleplaying with yourself), which will be a word you will hear a lot in this post. The important point to get from here, though, is that a person was caught playercesting (presumably under two names, as people later mention the RPer in question using a fake name later on), which is against the rules, and was asked to drop one of the two characters. Said player then flounced, and was followed by several other people from her characers' canon.

The first bits of disagreement come in this thread, though, as someone politely disagrees with how sockity_sock has worded the post. But that one isn't nearly as fun as this exchange here:

crystaldawn: Oh GOD, some mods somewhere enforced a rule. HOW DARE THEY

sockity_sock: Yeah, because it's TOTALLY fair to enforce a rule that's not actually in the RULES.

FAIL.

crystaldawn: If the person had nothing to hide and wasn't aware of the rule, she wouldn't have created a fake persona to app under.

Also, this has been in place since forever. People routinely ask the mods about it when apping.

And finally, being asked to drop one of the two characters (without any kind of strike, warning, or reprimand) is hardly unfair. No one else is allowed to play characters that close, the girl in question isn't a special snowflake.

Oh, but wait! You can app under a sock account, so it's okay! But actually part of the app asks what characters you already play, so you can't app under multiple socks. But they mischaracterized the relationship between the two characters! Only not really.

Also, here's more explanation of what's going on. And apparently there was massive flouncing to be had. Sadly I can't go and track that down, since the game is locked to players only.

Sockity_sock also flounces from her own post, so the wank was cut short. Oh well, it was entertaining while it lasted.

Also, I did respond in the post (I'm maplepancakes there), but I wasn't involved in the wank itself (talking about lulzy mod tags for the post doesn't count, right?), so it should be okay to post here.

EDIT: My passive-aggressiveness, let me show it to you.

EDIT #2: The player in question responds.

EDIT #3: Friends show up to defend the subject of the wank.

Roleplay!Secrets is an LJ community in the PostSecret vein, wherein when you have a grudge against another RPer, you can Photoshop (or MSPaint) your complaints onto a related picture, post it anonymously to the community, and watch the wank explode. You can also make secrets about how awesome you are -- but if you're using a screenshot of one of your own threads, be sure to edit the delete buttons out of the comments so that you can pretend that you really didn't posted it.

Normally, I would never post wank found there, because let's face it -- the thing's a complete cesspool of wank. But this one's a little more interesting than your typical "You suck at RPing!" and "lol self-post" wanks, so I thought I would share it.

So one day, a secret appears on the community about someone who plays Demyx, a character from Kingdom Hearts II. The secret complains about said player making said character have sex with another character in a portapotty. Yes, a portapotty. You just can't make these things up, folks! Or can you? Though anons act as though it's real and vehemently insist that it really happened (in a game whose name they can't divulge, or the crazy mod will show up and BAN EVERYONE FOREVER), various people begin to suspect that the community is being trolled -- especially when a sock journal for the portapotty in question shows up and attempts to explain the circumstances of the game's smutty outhouse goings-on. The "Demyx player" shows up to defend herself, leading to a discussion of the insanitary nature of having sex in a place where many people have, er, excreted; later, the "Sora player" shows up too.

Several days later, another secret shows up, ostensibly about the same Kingdom Hearts character. This one uses a graphic implying that the Demyx is the one in a game known as tltw_university; however, this is apparently lies and slander -- that Demyx has never had any lewd encounters in privies. At this point, the fake wank turns into real wank. The posters of the original secret come out of the woodwork and condemn whoever posted this latest one, appalled that their troll secret has been used for, uh... trolling. There are accusations of a mod at tltw wanting to kill her own game and using the secret as a means of doing that. And someone sings Les Mis songs for some reason. (I'm not sure what that has to do with anything, but the comment says it's a response to secret #6, so...)

It is at this point that your humble wank-writer-upper completely loses track of what's going on. But whatever it is, it is pretty special.

ETA, thanks to chlorhexidine: The troll responsible for the mod-wank accusations comes clean here. Also, this PSA in this post is the first appearance of the trolls behind the first secret. Also, it's a social experiment!

In the beginning, there was a multifandom RPG: Aternatopia, set in the fictional town of Aternaville. Time passed, and ( there was conflict. )

BJR has a bone to pick with the mod of a Pokemon RP community.

Way to go there. You banned me for "being rude" to you when I have a log proving that it was YOU who was being rude to ME. You banned me for insulting other players ICly and OOCly when I did no such thing (with convienant lack of evidence, no less! And the only player I ever insulted ICly was ME, when I posted in dear_mun!).

My characters are arrogant bastards, but they never insulted any other player, just other characters and only when it was appropiate for them to do so (and come on, the other characters insulted THEM right back).

Naturally, people are Not Impressed and proceed to explain to her, in detail, why she brought this on herself. BJR, as usual, tries to wriggle her way out of taking any blame by insisting "the mods don't get it" and accuses people of making claims without having any evidence to back them up and shit like that. ketsuban tries to plead for sanity and saiyamanms attempts to defend her, but to no avail.

And what would BJR wank be without the classic New Orleans bit?

Arisama is looking for writers to help him with his new roleplaying forum "Hot Wet Planet", and takes his description over to rpg.net.

( Cut for length and...well, the sort of text you'd expect from a game called Hot Wet Planet )

The whole thing seems to be degenerating into lulz for everyone but the flailing Arisama, but at this point that's about all that can be done.

UPDATE: In a far from unexpected move, Arisama compliments rpg.net for increasing his site's google ranking. However, a quick Google search determines that it is actually the rpg.net thread that is in the topmost rankings under "Hot Wet Planet"--with this post coming in fifth. Huzzah.

Over at the OOC community for Dramadramaduck, an RPing community, an anonymous, severely butthurt poster would like everyone in the community to know that some of the people playing there are MEAN and suck at RPing:

This is kinda like a RP secrets post. And no, I'm not a troll or stalker or whatever. I RP in DramaDramaDuck. There are many reasons why I am not using my personal journal or any of my character journals. And before you say anything, no, it's not a case of being a coward. If I were to reveal my identity it would cause a lot of problems in this comm and between my many friends here.

Anyway, I'm not happy with the way things have been lately. When I came here I was treated like the replacement. I kept hearing about how great the person before me did with the character I'm RPing now and how I'm not doing the character any justice. It's also been implied that maybe I should just give it up and pick someone else to RP.

DDD's D.N.Angel team and Kingdom Hearts team....sucks. You people are such snobs when it somes to RPinng. The person who plays Dark annoys me. Axel is played way too OOC it doesn't even fit anymore. Roxas and Marluxia are nowhere in sight but the taken characters list shows that someone is playing them both. Larxene is played horribly and don't even get me started on Daisuke and Hiwatari.

I'm not a happy here, though I don't want to leave since I've been RPing here for a very long time.

Other highlights include:

"The reasons for my annonimity are complicated though. You could never understand becuase you and the others have already casted me out."

"Hey how about you gripe about players that actually legitimately suck."

"I just hope that upsetting people who put a lot of effort into this game is enough to make you feel better about the crushing pain that is somebody playing a character not quite the way you'd like it." "It is."

This was posted to clairvoyantwank just recently, but I honestly figure it's big/funny enough to make it here (300+ comments on the post which spawned the wank).

( Deleted comms, accusations of shenanigans, butthurt mods... )

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

This one's a big one that spans over three communities, so be sure to grab something to eat before you sit down to read this. Also, I couldn't find a specific DAY, but one of the wankers involved listed their birth year as 1990, meaning she would be 18 if she were born on-or-before today's date. I'll delete this if I find out that her birthday is later in the year, but for now I'll post this.

It all starts out on the community rp secrets. This community is just like fandom secrets, except it's for secrets about RPing. For the last couple weeks, rp secrets has been getting secrets about an rp called Discedo. There's so many of them that I can't even link them all without taking up pages and pages, but here's a few examples: cliques, defending the place, more complaining, and complaining about a specific character. Pay attention to that last one, because it'll come up again later.

Mods of Discedo see these secrets, and they make a 'put your complaints here' post. The comments were screened, so that only the mods could see. Two days later they made this post, in which they name the problems that have been brought up to them. Overall there's a couple small kerfluffles, but overall nothing too big here. However, make note of the character journal too_green_eyes. The profile I linked to should look familiar, too. Now, I will be direct in all of this. There is a LOT of discussion going on in all of this, but the important parts to watch are the ones involving leadership. See, before now a couple characters have been 'leading' all of Discedo, and many people are unhappy with that. They want to break up the responsibilities among many. So there's a lot of talk about how to do that, and who should do what.

( But it doesn't stop there. )

Stay tuned, members of f_w. I have a feeling that more will happen in the days to come.

(Also, I do play at Discedo, but I've been sitting on my hands and not fueling the wank.)

EDIT: I can't believe I forgot to link the CFUD v Discedo thread. It has this macro, which sums up that thread nicely.

I know everyone's thought of this at one point in their lives - what would happen if an author brought their novel's character into Second Life to roleplay and explore?

Or wait, what would happen if an author brought their novel's character into Second Life...to play a sexy bunnyfur looking for happiness? Wouldn't that be a great "RP Experiment"?

Let's ask otakuoftomobiki! He's conveniently provided us with all of the wank in a single illustrated smorgasbord of batshittery (recreated on my JF journal for posterity).

( It begins! )

So he's playing himself...as a chick instead of the 46 year old guy. Harmless, right?

Then he buys a new avatar, a cute little bunnygirl, and faces a dilemma! Kacey is a squirrel, not a rabbit! And Kacey doesn't think she's attractive, and this bunny avatar is smokin' hot!

( The idea! )

But wait! The plot thickens...romance blooms in the form of a black bunnyguy!

( My Prince... )

Did I mention that this guy has a girlfriend? Like a flesh and blood one.

Anyway, the new fella brings home some creepy kids that the two adopted. I won't go into them other than to say that the pictures will creep you out.

It's about this time, just before the two bunnies are about to get married, that the girlfriend, tired of being ignored, decides to come onto Second Life to maybe get some RP/quality time with him. However, when he ignores her for his bunnygirl/bunnyboy RP and she finds out, it's not long before the anvil drops on our "Hero".

( Danger looms for Our Hero! )

I can't make this shit up, folks. But the true amazingness is that he's still insistent that this was all everyone else's fault for not understanding his "experiment"!

I must admit I was quite disappointed in Kacey’s black bunny prince. He had seemed to have great quality of character. Yet, as his video girl was taken away from him by the god, he didn’t dive into the computer screen after her. He didn’t cut himself to pieces climbing stairs of fragile glass to preserve her. He didn’t defy the gods themselves to keep her. And he certainly didn’t deny the griefers the opportunity to ruin his happy home.

Pity. It makes not for such a good story if the hero declines to be heroic.

Oh wait, it is his fault...for trusting a heartless bitch who stole his My Little Ponies and dumped him. And so he has his retribution in a separate post:

So, Enelar, if you’re reading this, as I know you will eventually. I just want you to know that my ponies are not happy anymore. That piece of my heart they carry resonates with my recriminations for all the pain you’ve caused me. There’s an accusing glow in their eyes, reminding you of how much I loathe you for what you and your friends have done. I swear by the innocent SL children you callously orphaned, neither I nor my ponies will ever forgive you.

In fact, my dear Enelar, my ponies hate you. The loathing I feel for you in my heart is transmitted to them, just as my love for you was in the past. Now they watch over you at night with glaring, accusing eyes - like something out of a Stephen King movie. You are surrounded on all sides by the ponies I invested my magic in. Open your eyes in the dark and feel them watching you, loathing you for the pain you’ve caused me. Haunting you with the ghost of the innocent love you’ve destroyed. Haunting you, watching you, wishing to be anywhere but in the possession of someone as undeserving of pony magic as you.

Seriously, read the whole lovely post, and some of the others...you won't be disappointed. I also have a screenshot in my hard drive in case this gets bahleeted.

ETA: The ex weighs in!

And Our Hero shows up to answer strap-on questions and, no lie, offer up his thoughts on yaoi!

And yuri.

And how terribly amused he is to be 'king for a day', and what is this mythical kingdom of fandom_wank?.

And is offered some very sage advice before he digs himself deeper.

Which he proceeds to ignore.

Dude, if being considered rude is your concern? You really, really need the special help.

ETA2: Electric Boogaloo - Journal bahleeted! Still googlecached here - can anyone get this on their site somehow?

And, after some more googling..

His attempts to save the furry fandom from being all about sex. - I love that he says he never made it through high school.

ETA3: The Revenge FLOUNCE - The wound is slowly spreading out to engulf my entire being.

( Under the cut just in case )

Archives of his magnum opus.

Web Archive of his bio.

Thanks to hooloovoo_too for finding these last juicy bits for us!

ETA 4:...yeah, I got nothin' This guy just doesn't know when to quit!

( Also, his revised farewell on his dA )

God, this is delicious.

FINAL ETA: He now has a sanitized "POOR ME" version of the original post here: http://symphonic-rp.livejournal.com/56939.html

Thus I conceived this entry, not to justify anything, but just to give those on the internet who had seen the fabricated story a chance to get a glimpse of what the characters and players involved had really been like. And also to share what, to me at least, seemed like a beautifully, if somewhat tragic, story that deserved to be set down in words, rather than being allowed to just pass and be forgotten, as tends to happen with most stories that enfold on Second Life.

Oh yeah, and to completely portray himself as the poor victim of circumstance and paint Enelar as a psycho hose-beast. That's, of course, what REALLY happened.

coffinlidkid rants about roleplayers equating "pretty character" with "Mary Sue" and "fugly character" with "zomg deep".

The fun starts when gelosia "[doesn't] get why anyone would ever want to play someone generally unattractive".

Why not make these "deep characters" attractive then? Srsly.

Everyone may have different ideas of beauty, and personally I tend to like unusual looking people, but... ugly is ugly.

Copious comments ensue in which she tries to protest that she didn't REALLY mean "ugly". fax_celestis chimes in to support her. The rest of BRPS boggles.

Note: In the interests of full disclosure and neutrality, much of this report is directly taken from volitioned's wank report here as far as links and such with my thanks and apologies because she did a huge amount of the footwork. I have only edited it for impartiality and added some background of my own.

Let's get started.

For anyone who has not heard of fandomsecrets, people anonymously submit images with secrets related to fandom on them (e.g., I think this pairing sucks, I can't stand this series but everyone thinks I love it, etc.). Since roleplaying is included under fandom, there's a fairly steady influx of roleplaying secrets: people falling in love with their RP partner, thinking someone in an RP sucks, or just RP wank in general. It makes for some lulz in the opinions of many and creates a fair amount of wank (for even more lulz) from people who think RP secrets belong in a different comm, but in the end most people get over it.

Secret posting seems to tend toward cycles, and lately, the majority of RP secrets seemed to be about a fanon-adored pairing from the series Death Note; people saying how much they loved the pairing, even more RP secrets about people playing as them, shitty fic authors for the pairing. You name it, someone wrote about it.

In the latest secret post, another secret about this pairing was made with an RPer wanting to be the Matt to someone's Mello ("I want to be the _____ to your ______" is a phrase commonly seen in the comm.) After only a few hours of the secret post being up, various threads were made (more, more, more, more, more, and one more) in complaint to there being too many pairing secrets for these two characters.

( ZOMG STFU )

( The anonymice battle the mods! )

( BUT THAT'S NOT ALL, FOLKS! )

SO, TO SUM UP:
Anonymous secret with extremely common sentiment is posted at fandomsecrets.
Several commenters object to the secret as overdone and the pairing as unrealistic.
Secret poster responds to comments, telling them to shut up and sit down. Mostly they ignore her.
When one thread gets super wanky, one of the mods deletes it and the secret at the request of the OP.
Mods laugh at wank.
Anonymous commenters object to deletion, wank, and laughing.
Anonymous calls for removal of technophile as mod for being immature.
volitioned posts a wank report in her LJ with a focus on technophile's involvement in the wank.
serenesanity shows up and takes a personal objection to the links that may or may not link to her comments. I'm not quite sure.
Arguments ensue. Volitioned says it's not about Serenesanity. Technophile continues to laugh.

And the wankas win!

EDIT FOR GREAT JUSTICE: volitioned has deleted her journal! Color me shocked!

EDIT FOR SLIGHTLY LESSER JUSTICE: Undeleted!e