Nangbaby is boycotting Sailor Moon for crimes against humanity wait, wait, no, sorry, that was me listening to the language, not the message. Sorry, Viz is doing a redub with the cast's original names.

To quote Nangbaby so I don't misrepresent her:

I promised that I would leave the fandom if this happened and I will. As much as I would like to make it an immediate exit, please note that I have spent a significant chunk of my life loving Serena as Sailor Moon, Alan, Ann, Lita, Game Machine Man, Bertie, and Malachite (just like the sword in Ogre Battle). Forgive the dramatic death throes.

For those of you who think I’m overreacting, let me make this clear. Viz has essentially announced that the Sailor Moon loved by millions, the girl named Serena whose opening theme proclaims she fights evil by moonlight and wins love by daylight. is no more. She has been erased from continuity Sonja Belmont-style.

Now, I grew up with Sailor Moon like any red-blooded nineties Canadian, but I'm not sure quite sure what she's getting at. But she goes on to say:

Now imagine if George Lucas has in addition to making those changes, stated Chewbacca was actually canonically a lesbian and changed the scenes to make that very obvious, as well as claimed the Jedi’s goal was to oversee the development of humanity according to the Force and lead them into the light through taking over the Empire.

Now, this may have unfortunate implications with the fact the redub re-adds two original canon gay couples, but I'm also pretty sure Lucas did that anyway and we just moved on.

I mean, we all remember the makeout scene after Leia says she'd rather kiss a Wookie, right? And the interview with Chewbacca's new dub voice, Tilda Swinton, where she says she's proud to play Chewbacca as he was always meant to be - a proud queer woman covered head to toe in fur. She even did the interview in the Chewbacca costume, despite her height and the fact she actually did the whole role from a recording booth.

Sorry, I've deviated.

She knows who to blame, and she's darn well gonna do it.

As a normal person*, I have no powers against this blatant disenfranchisement and marginalization except that of my limited wallet, and I will say this. From this day forward I will not pay for an official piece of Sailor Moon material released from this date forward. I am boycotting Sailor Moon for the actions of Naoko Takeuchi — make no mistake Viz and Toei Animation are culpable as well, but in their defense, they are transparent in that they make the real culprit clear — the woman who authored the manga that inspired the anime and now has taken over the inspired creation.

She understands it's going to be a hard path, but she will face that path. And she's doing it because god help you if you call Sailor Moon Usagi.

I know my action alone is meaningless, but I encourage others to not pay and not give anything official any more time. It’s not enough to complain. We have to take the power away from them that we gave them to redress this wrong.

Sailor Moon CX will no longer update. As much as I would love to finish the story in a “Take That” no one reads it and no one cares, so I am abandoning it. I won’t burden people with my presence much longer.

To conclude, Viz is a monster, Naoko Takeuchi is a monster, and she's not posting her fanfic anymore.

Also there's a site!

The post concludes:

Edit: I’m back.

*blatant lie

Caution: There are some NSFW links in the forums.

So!
A while ago on the ToughPigs forum, there was discussion about American Apparel making Sesame Street shirts.

Most of the comments were "...huh..."

One such shirt was, as I call it, Big Metro Bird. Then most of the comments became "...ew." followed by a rousing chorus of "hipster douches!"

One poster asks how this is any worse than this Miss Piggy center-fold. (Yes, you read that right.)

So, ToughPigs bloggers look around while the forum talks about the merits of Sex Sells and how America just have to get over Naked Boobies. Finally ToughPigs comes across an ad featuring a girl with her snootchie hanging out, while wearing a Sesame Street T-shirt. They blog, with some scathing words to American Apparel.

And then, it turns out Sesame Street, in fact, did NOT agree to do this team up with AA, even though the spokespeople for AA insisted that they did...

Comments are generally amusing and shocked (Shocked!) and of the "My childhood!" variety.

Well, if you're looking for some real crazy, look no further than digimon!.

Overlord_Mordax wants to know why people like Ken. Or as one user puts it, why people like her. Mom jokes are taken seriously. Anonymous gets involved.

Mordax BAWS on her own journal.


***brought to my attention by a lovely mouse on wank_report

Note: This wank is from 2004. I figured that since F_W is moderated, the mods can decide if the wank is too dated or whatever. If you are reading this now please enjoy the wank.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Dark Crystal fandom!

The Dark Crystal, being an old, small fandom has it's share of BNFs. One such BNF is John, author of the fanfic un-official Dark Crystal sequel The Crystal of Truth, which, incidentally, he tried to pitch to Henson and was rejected. You can only imagine what he thinks of the new up-coming Dark Crystal sequel. But this wank isn't about that.

Needless to say, since John is a BNF, many fans shower praise unto his manuscript. Me? I couldn't even make it to page 20.

One fine May afternoon, durendalmac posts his take of The Crystal of Truth. And no sir, he didn't like it. In fact, he finds it "an utter desecration of The Dark Crystal. It's predictable, trite, cliched, the tone is completely different, and it craps on the grave of Jim Henson."

John replies civilly, my personal favorite comment of his being "Personally, I'd love to see M. Night Shyamalan tackle [A Dark Crystal sequel]. I LOVE his work, and I have the impression his writing style would be a perfect fit."

I laughed until I remembered this was 2004, and that M. Night had not yet subjected us to The Village or Lady in the Water. But he did subject us to Signs. Maybe John never saw Signs?

Anyway, John and durendalmac go back and forth a bit, and durendalmac apologizes for some of his wording. The fun REALLY begins when John suggests durendalmac read some of Neil Griffith's fanfics. durendalmac's reaction is "MY CHILDHOOD!"

And then the lurkers come to support John in email!

Soon, everyone got distracted by something shiny and shut up.

I love my little fandom so much!

Here's a fandom of mine that's absolutely huge but I've never seen on F_W: Magic, The Gathering. The CCG. That silly little card game that nerds from the ages of ten to ninety thrown their life savings at for no apparent reason.

So why am I bringing this silly thing to F_W now? Well, for the first time in about eight years (I think), they're doing a major rules change. By "major rules change" I actually mean they're altering a few mechanics that most players don't even KNOW about, but are important to certain pedantic asshats serious players. If you know magic at all, the changes have to do with how combat damage works, how blocking works, and the elimination of manaburn. If you don't play magic, just pretend the previous sentence was "Alan Rickman is hot."

But a rules change is a rules change, and you can't change the rules on a bunch of pedantic self-important card game players without causing some wank, right? So I dug up a little fanboy rage for your amusement:

Eighty-two pages worth to be precise. Then it started threatening their forum space limit, so they moved it to another thread which is currently pushing 40 pages.

Common refrains include "I'll never play MTG again!" and "You're making the game better for those idiot beginners while alienating your real fans!" Enjoy y'all.

Taking your children to see Watchmen is child abuse? -found at wank_report

Conservative blogger's "review" starts:

"If you take your kids to see "Watchmen," you're a moron.

If you see it yourself, you're also probably a moron and a vapid, indecent human being. The movie arrives in theaters at Midnight, Thursday Night. It's rated "R"--which should kinda sorta be a hint--but it really deserves an "NC-17," at the very least. And plenty of clueless parents brought their young kids and kept them there for the entire almost three hour "experience" at the screening I attended."

She can't stop bitching that it is somehow being marketed to children because there are people in superhero costumes. Or something. Are there like happy meals with these characters or something? I honestly don't have a clue about the marketing and am curious now. There's a video game--but like the movie it is rated for Mature Audiences Only.

There are comments over and over that Debbie doesn't get it. SHE DOES THOUGH! IN ALL CAPS! AND WE'RE ALL MORONS IF WE DISAGREE WITH HER!!

My favorite comment:

"Its not enough to feed children to Molech to satisfy depraved adult desires. No we must show children what adult desires are like when they are young enough before they are fed to Molech."

Yesssss, it makes them more tender to traumatize them first.

Also her photo scares the bejeezus out of me. Instead of ponies with hateful eyes watching me sleep, I am sure I will now see her in my nightmares.

ETA:
She posted about Watchmen again and the screed is even less comprehensible. One of her commenters calls himself "Uncle Joe McCarthy." D: The Godwins breakage is coming up like kudzu.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Cyndi, a popular author in the Transformers fandom, is raging mad. deviantArt just TOSsed her fanfic Ambrosia. What was the fanfic about? Primarily about Starscream and Unicron getting it on in full detail.

But it wasn't porn, according to Cyndi. Oh no. It's LITERATURE.

( I HAVE BEEN HORRIBLY WRONGED ONOES )

In conclusion? LOL BNFS

ETA: All of Cyndi's journal entries have been locked.

The calvinandhobbes community on LJ is normally a quiet place, where people can post their favorite old strips and wallow in nostalgia.

However, no place is free from wank, as echoboom shows when hir reposts a strip made by someone else, in which Calvin gets dosed for ADD and Hobbes turns back into a stuffed tiger.

Most of the comments are along the lines of "So depressing *criez*", but giley is offended:

this doesn't make sense. don't play around with things that aren't yours.

pickamuffin reminds us that overmedicating children is a Serious Social Issue, and the wank begins. Watterson's anti-licensing is invoked, opinions are declared incorrect, and giley's love for C&H has been ruined forever -- it may not be a large kerfluffle, but they're going at it just like the big dogs.