(I haven't seen any of Teen Wolf yet and I know as much about it as Gingerhaze, so if I get anything wrong - please help me out by correcting me!)

The website AfterElton.com is holding a tournament-style poll to determine the most popular slash pairing, and the championship round comes down to Sterek (Teen Wolf) vs. Destiel (Supernatural). It's a very close contest, and supporters have been tweeting official working-on-the-show people to get them to promote the poll on Twitter. This is a good short summary. Jeff Davis, producer and writer for Teen Wolf, replied to some tweets about it in August, but things really started to heat up with Misha Collins, who plays one half of the Destiel pairing on Supernatural, found out about the poll:

This homonormative poll makes me sick! http://www.afterelton.com/2012/09/ultimate-slash-madness-tourney-championship-round … -- No one could seriously think that those Teen Wolf jerks are gayer than us.

Then Stephen Lunsford, who plays "Matt" on Teen Wolf, replied:

@mishacollins I love you bro...but you will lose. LOSE I TELL YOU. Mwaha. MWAHAHAH. mwahaha. ha.

And then posts a link to the poll. Other various actors from both shows start tweeting links to the poll, though as of now, Misha is the only person actually in the pairings to respond. Even the official Twitters for both shows pimp the poll and encourage people to vote for their respective slash pairings.

Thing is, there is much less fighting between the two sets of shippers than one might expect; many people ship both and have trouble choosing who they are going to vote for. But people really care about who wins; why? Because if Sterek wins, it will become canon! (Naturally!) But while they're passionate, most of the shippers aren't hateful; the solution to this conflict is, of course, porn:

“You didn’t think you were going to win that easily, did you?” Destiel growled, nipping the younger wolf’s ear, revelling in the shudder it caused.
Sterek raised a trembling hand towards the chiselled half angel’s jaw. He stared at him, unflinching, before taking the older man’s lips between his teeth. He smirked at Destiel’s sharp intake of breath. “I never said it was going to be easy.”
” You can’t win this, Sterek. You’re too young.” Destiel replied hoarsely, hands clenching on either side of Sterek’s hips, steadying the wolf on his lap.
“I’m only 5 seasons younger than you, Destiel. I can handle it.” Sterek retorted breathlessly, before rocking himself shamelessly on top of the sexy hunter.

So, no, it's not from slash-fans fighting amongst themselves, but from, who else, crazy Supernatural fans:

(link) No, it's not until Sunday, but since Misha tweeted about it,Destiel is in the lead by about 2 percent. Stupid Misha, just had to whore himself out over a poll that has nothing to do with SPN only because he feels this kind of poll is the only way he will stay relevant. He is an idiot and I feel sorry for himself because he is going to be an actor that is only remembered for slash and fanfiction and porn. That isn't good for his acting future career. I really think he should start thinking twice about what he tweets but I don't think he ever will because he probably knows that he won't ever have something legitimate after SPN. He is just creepy, I mean I forever will remember himm as a pedo because of his role in that one film, where he admitted that after filming that movie he started looking at kids differently then he should. Does he not think about what he says?

(link) Is this a shock! Misha Collins was always going to pimp himself out. Unfortunately he has no care if it ruins Dean Winchester in the process. Because yes, I believe Castiel has female and male in him so he is definately bi and Misha is also imo.

Misha likes any attention. We've had Jared and especially Jensen lately getting attention and its been all J2, now he wants some attention even though its negative.

The thing is for Sterek, they are the show and this poll only is a continuation of what the story is about and will make the show better. Destiel winning will make the show worse and the online part of fandom nasty and vindictive. This isn't the show and winning this they will only want it actually in the show.

What has happened to Sterek, I thought they had the bigger fandom. I am calling cheaters! Destiel always cheat and there is no way they got that far ahead. I mean I know most of them have no life but still, the lost to Glee.

And someone creates a tumblr called Spn Fans Against Destiel - sorry, SPN FANS AGAINST DESTIEL in all-caps - which, I'm gonna warn you, is really fond of homophobic slurs.

People are upset, of course, but the unpleasantness that the Supernatural fandom can produce remains unsurpassed. In that respect, Supernatural has definitely got the Teen Wolf fandom beat.

Edit: Jensen Ackles is not okay with Destiel and therefore Misha's a dick for talking about it maybe? Jensen Ackles doesn't have a twitter so he won't be commenting on the poll. They're referring to an incident at this year's Comic-Con where a fan outright asked Misha and Jensen what they thought of Destiel, and Jensen replied that he didn't know what it was. Observe what is either passive-aggressive hostility or cheerful acceptance, depending on who you ask! Is Jensen stroking Misha's cheek a sign of, like, something? I can't tell anymore. It's turtles all the way down. Gay turtles.

Politics and shipping are two very wanky subjects. What happens when we combine them on fandomsecrets?

For one, we get childings complaining that people aren't taking their shipping seriously enough.

I doubt many people seriously fap to that when they say that they slash something. They're doing it for the lulz. Which is even more disturbing to me, because when did sexual fantasy become a joke for people, or just a way to express that you really really like someone or something? I think it's stupid and immature. If you slash something, it should be because the pairing really gets you off.

Then you have paperclipchains, who is all over this post and I'm honestly not sure if they're trolling.

163. I know what you mean. I don't know, I feel like people - especially people who have accomplished great things in their life - should be respected enough to be elevated above your base desire for an orgasm.

And that's not all, folks! paperclipchains continues their reign of terror by asking what's so great about Kingdom Hearts II, and then insulting everyone who doesn't agree!

Anon: So... is the only reason you asked in the first place so that you could tell people "no your opinion sucks, mine is more correct"?

paperclipchains: No, I was genuinely curious. I was also pretty sure that the reasons would be ridiculous, so there's that."

Fortunately, Obama unites the parties. And by unite I mean gets paired with. And by parties I mean everybody.

Wow, its been ages since I've done this (Lol, College) but let me give this a go.

A sock provides a rather interesting story about bad role playing Batman/Joker slash on BRPS with a mentally unstable class mate who is also apparently compulsive liar. The post while perhaps dubious is not necessarily wanky.

Of course, the comments are.

irelands is just infuriated with the concept that someone dare to slash role play the pairing Joker/Batman (or maybe its just Batman/Joker they have a problem with).

crazymaxwell (and a few others) and not ones to take such "fandom elitism" lightly.

nymosy has a rather interesting opinion on the matter.

And andstardust has probably the most appropriate reaction to blooming wank.

It'll probably continue to grow over night folks like foot fungus in an unwashed gym sock.

Spinning Spinsters decides to write an essay about how fan culture is highly conservative, and bolsters and propagates male supremacist ideas.

People in the comments seem to agree with her and thank her for having opened their eyes to how they're really just serving The Man by writing about guys getting on it.

But wait! Is such blanket approval natural? Not in the least.

As soon as she starts getting disagreements that are pro-slash, she deletes them on the grounds that such defenses can be found anywhere. She also refuses to link to any examples because it'd be unhelpful/too much work, and characterizes most femmeslash stories as being like lesbian pornography.

For bonus points, she apparently also has the power to edit comments if they talk about women in unacceptable ways. Though it's okay to say that on House, 'the women on that show are so lousy, either shrews or sex objects or both', so I'm curious as to what she doesn't find acceptable.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to serve The Man.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Right, so there's a British cop/time-travel show called Life on Mars, in which Sam Tyler, a cop from 2006, is hit by a car and sent back to 1973, where he becomes a cop with Gene Hunt as his boss. Gene Hunt believes that there's nothing that can't be solved by slamming Sam into a wall and getting into his personal space, so you can guess that the slashers are fairly happy.

Even though it's been over for a while now, the lifein1973 comm is still pretty active. And, apparently, in general fairly friendly.

That is, until madmonkeyshow posts her opinion on Gene Hunt in the community, in which she says that romantic Sam/Gene is impossible, and implies that her way of writing Gene and Sam into a BDSM relationship is far more realistic.

The community does not respond well to being told how to write its slashfic, and madmonkeyshow does not respond well to disagreement.

Also, calling the entire community young people isn't patronising or insulting, it's simply THE TRUTH.

Madmonkeyshow gets banned from community, and you'd think that'd be the end of it, as she originally posted about a month ago.

However, madmonkeyshow continues to ramble about the unfairness of it all in her own journal. Clearly there is censorship at work here, so she will sue everyone and go to the media.

Thank you very much to the mice on wank_report for the links.

Ficwriter1966 doesn’t like Wincest or slash or RPS. Her first post on the subject doesn’t attract a lot of attention from fandom at large. So she made a second one. That segues into a plea for more feedback on her fics. After she insults her audience.

( Quotes under the cut )

A selection of responses.

This post sums it up best:

YOU ARE DESTROYING ALL OF FANDOM BY WRITING PAIRINGS I DON'T LIKE AND I MUST SAVE FANDOM FOR US ALL BY DRIVING YOU OUT posts are a dime a dozen, but I've never seen anyone so neatly turn that claim into blatant feedback whoring. I'm impressed!

I think there was a previous wank where people jokingly said "Wincest is what happens when good people do nothing"? Well, it's not a laughing matter anymore, Supernatural fandom! From this post:

this was a quote from ficwriter1966 before the replies were all axed:

'Oh, I don't have any delusions about rebuilding the fandom, or even a tiny part of it. What I wanted to do was be brave enough to stand up and SAY "I think what you're doing is wrong, and this is why." In keeping with that old saying - all evil needs is for good people to do nothing. I suspect there are a lot of people who are uncomfortable with the status quo but are afraid to say so for fear of being ridiculed or demeaned.'

ETA: For your reading pleasure: The Day Fanfic Turned Jared and Jensen Gay and Totally Ruined Their Lives Forever

Incestuous Love Child of ETA: Have a macro, courtesty of arionhunter!

When an ETA and an ETA love each other very much: Posts from the 14th and 15th provide some context. And lulz.

In vergil_fangirls, rosiesintherain posts:

I know I'm going to be stomped with flames and insults for asking, but why exactly do people like Dante/Vergil?

It's something I never understood. I understand people appreciating the brotherly (FAMILY) love between them. The fact that they're so different and would definately be willing to kill each other, but they can't bring themselves to completely hate each other. Lady and Arkham had that too. Despite all the horribly things that Arkham had done to both her and others, she was still saddened when she killed him. Same with Dante. Despite what Vergil had done to him and was planning on doing to the world, when he left the human world forever, he was saddened by that too.

I don't find it romantic in the least and I don't understand why people try to make it out to be. I don't think someone can completely hate their family member, and DMC3 decided to play on that. And it's fairly obvious that Dante likes women. He hits on almost all the DMC girls, has naked pictures of women in his office, and totally got a boner the moment he saw Nevan. I don't think he's ever done that around Vergil.

Plus.... they're brothers. That's just sick.

So since there seems to be quite a lot of twincest fans here, I'd like to hear what they have to say. It confuses me when people dislike Dante/Trish because Trish is a clone of his mother, but turn around and say that two brothers fucking is hot.

Just curious.

( YAY WANK! )

ETA: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE GODWIN.

In possibly the stupidest move since the invention of the DVD rewinder, newyork_noodles posts a slash rant at fanficrants.

Embedded in this mass of fail are such gems as "I just don't understand the point of writing something that you know goes directly against canon and the character you're writing about." and "I just think that if it's a main character, who has been around for several books or movies or seasons or whatever and who we known all these things about it would, you know, be mentioned if they were bisexual."

Right. Because no author has ever come back after the end of a seven-book series and announced that a major character was gay. And also? Isn't the whole point of fanfiction for authors to, I dunno, explore things about their favorite characters that aren't explored in canon material?

The community, predictably, is in the process of delivering a felony sexual assault on the poster's anal region.

Or, Why Fannish Meta Can't Have Nice Things.

Over on LJ, hth_the_first makes a post about how slash and queer aren't the same thing. There's some interesting discussion, lots of personal insights and it's chugging along smoothly...until page 2.

miriam_heddy's comment includes this idea:

And while most slashers may well self-identify or live in the RW as heterosexual, in terms of behaviour, I'd argue that those same het slashers are often participating in homosexual activity.

mrs260 objects to that, inspiring this post's title, and asks for clarification. harriet_spy breaks in:

Surely you did not mean to come into the LJ of a queer person and suggest that homosexual activity is disgusting, did you?

One can disagree with the analysis without suggesting that it leads somewhere loathsome.

Turns out mrs260 is a gay man, so along with not being all over the ladies, "Besides the whole fact that I'm attracted to men, not women, I don't think it's out of line to think it's icky to see someone postulate that one has been unwittingly participating in "sexual activity" with any number of friends, acquaintances, and strangers."

And it's on. The thread grows, people continue to having Learning Experiences with harriet_spy, mrs260 clarifies, and later on, friends of his show up to support him in brand-new LJs (never a good move) and get into it with liviapenn.

Old-time BNFs. Accusations of homophobia. (Putative) sockpuppets. All that's missing is plagiarism allegations.

Ah, Transformers slash. You get the regular slash-crazies with the added benefit of them all liking giant robots.

The incident starts when RG posts a silly fanart of Galvatron bending Cyclonus over a table (Mature Content flag) on March 27th. All is well, and the slashers are amused.

Until Tibby comes along. Tibby is not a slasher. Not only is she not a slasher, she thinks these Galvatron is gay jokes are getting old. The artist points out that she doesn't have to look at these if she doesn't like them. (Though, Devil's advocate here, it's not like he warns in the title that it's even slash.)

Tibby, however, is grossly offended by this suggestion, both on her own behalf and on the behalf of gay people everywhere:

It is demeaning and insulting to people of that lifestyle and it tarnishes the character's repuations and profiles. Its not funny or cute anymore and it is just disgutsing to see your pictures of Galvy ass raping (or other homosexual "jokes") Cyclonus on a regular basis. Try using your good talents to create your own characters and senarios for a change.

RG responds in a reasonable, if long, manner. Tibby happily ignores him to respond to seiberwing's comments on TF slash.

Tibby's thoughts on yaoi: It's disgusting and so out of character for the characters themselves that it is just insane. Why do you fan chicks have to ruin a great story universe with your personal perverted fantasies? It tarnishes Galvatron's already trashy reputation and makes poor Cyclonus look like a simpering pussy. How you all get off on that I will never know.

Seiberwing remains in the fray and is joined by Shinju-chan as they both point out to Tibby that she has drawn her OFC in a hot tub with Galvatron. (Sadly, said picture has been taken down by Tibby so I can't link you to it.) As well as her OFC and her best friend's OFC hanging off Megatron's arms. How's that less ruinous of a great story universe than slash, the S-dames ask.

Tibby vindicates herself! She didn't really like that picture, anyway! Also, she does not draw sex all the time, unlike some of you people.

The comment-thread goes on for a little longer, but no more replies from Tibby. Woeface.

That doesn't mean she's out of the fun, though! You see, she's leaving the fandom over this! (March 30th)

Except, less then twenty-four hours later, she's changed her mind. Also, her character Darkhawk isn't a Mary Sue. (She totally is.)

However, while Tibby is back, her TF art isn't. Well, not on that account anymore. It's been moved to another account and sadly pruned of some of the sillier pics of Darkhawk. Woe.

There is an interesting LJ entry from her on March 28. Standard frothing "I hate slash!" rant, except for the bit about spirit-Galvatron at the end.

And in a sense spirit Galvatron is fuming seeing stupid homo jokes of him and Cyclonus. He's raging, screaming and all out furious about it. He's sick and tired of seeing it and wants to destroy all that fanart that depicts it.

Edit: Someone's gone over to troll Tibby's LJ, so I'm taking down the link to that.

Courtesy of my friendslist, a bit of Snack (aka Snape/Black) hilarity. Warning: NSFW porny images abound throughout this wank, so you mightn't want to read it at work or in front of yo kids, or whatever.

blacks_bitch doesn't seem to understand that the appeal of the Snape/Black pairing is the fact that they hate each other, so she informs an artist at the Snack art comm12am_nosh that THERE IS NO PAIRING OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU SILLY SAUSAGES. themostepotente points this little fact out, at which point she is informed that blacks_bitch is doing her civic duty:

I in no way have been rude to anyone.
If I feel like defending Sirius, I do that. If he'd see this, he'd me more than rude I'm affraid.

Many boggle at that comment. furiosity pwns by offering her a spare clue-pon. Laughs are had by all, even those who don't like the pairing.

Meanwhile, unicorns, like the Snape/Black pairing, don't exist either. I just wanted to be the one to break it to you all.

"Danny Phantom" is a weird fandom in that a significant portion of the fandom (the slashers and the not-slashers-but-slash-friendly, known as the "anti-fans") is actively discriminated against by the shows creator, Butch Hartman. Or, at least, its actively discriminated against by Hartman's mod squad and other rabid fangirls who claim that slashers are why the show is getting canceled- Nickelodean has to yank the plug on the p0rn!

I would fall into the category of anti-fan (I don't just slash, baby- I write, draw, and apparently inspire "Danny Phantom" MPreg) if I bothered to give a shit. I've managed to avoid the wank entirely with little effort because I've never bothered with Hartman's forums and am mostly unknown on deviantArt. However, I seem to be the only person on the LiveJournal "Danny Phantom" community that also has a JournalFen account, so consider me an acting liaison for the anti-fans. The rest of this entry was written by happy_coffetea. I merely pass it along to you and gleefully accept any splooge that may splash onto me for doing so.

As most of this wank takes place on DeviantART, the links provided will either be to individual wanky comments or photobucket pictures of longer threads.

Brevity may be the soul of wit, but the sheer amount of wank here makes a short recap impossible.

( A little background, for those who need it )

( Summary )

( Main entry )

( Also for your entertainment: )


( And a whiney plea )

The Ivorytower posts her thoughts on yaoi on FFR. The problem? She says she likes yaoi because she doesn't like any of the female characters. At first she starts getting words, internets, and cookies and stuff, but then people start going "Homie
say what?!"

BONUS: It seems to have spawned! These threads aren't wanky, but who doesn't love wankspawn (if there's any I missed, let me know)?

The inspiration behind it all? Knowing FFR, I'm REALLY surprised this thread wasn't wanky.

Somebody else's thoughts.

No bashing!

ETA: The genfic one wasn't related after all, so I removed it. But we get this snarking of the whole wank on Shipwar as a consolation prize!

Kingdom Hearts II wank: come one, come all!

I posted once in clairvoyantwank, and my mystical powers were spot on :D

In the Kingdom Hearts II LJ community, this dumb bint makes a stupid post:

Stop making the characters gay for eachother.
they are not into eachother.

...Yeah. So.

People respond funnily, the gem being the essay snark a bit down, and she finally starts replying, culminating in a second follow-up post.

And a third.

She even pulls the age card.

You know what? I'm just gonna go ahead and side with the slashers because it's SQUARE-ENIX, FOR GOD'S SAKE. You do not GET much gayer than Final Fantasy, dudes.

Edit! Apparently she's deleting comments, too.

Edit the Second! First two posts deleted, but screenshot here.

SHE POSTED AGAIN WHAT THE HELL.

Ah, fanficrants what would I do without thee? :D

writinchica2k asks if G-rated slash is an oxymoron and says she'd bump a story's rating up a notch or two just on the homosexuality quotient alone.

At first the responses are innocent enough... but then suddenly the splooge hits the FAN!! Included are fancy reductio ad absurdum arguments and various yellings of "Bigot!" and "Hypocrite!"

The, uh, debate does calm down on page two and returns to something a little more logical. But the wankage and splooge are on page one ^_^



ETA: Dude, I'm staying the hell out of this debate... since my comment in the original thread is one of the things being wanked upon (no, I'm not arromdee but one of my statements apparently triggered some pretty good wank anyway) ¬¬ *feels quite foolish now for having failed her first wank so miserably*

TBS is running a fairly kneeslapping promo for their airing of the LOTR trilogy in which their homo is pastede on yey!

PheonixDav over on the Game Informer forums is personally offended and gets out his McCarthyism Day Stick in a post titled TBS Doesn't Get it, and Neither do You.

Highlights from the rant include:


A commercial came on last night that made me want to punch my TV. It was an ad for the Lord of the Rings trilogy, which TBS will shortly be airing. The Lord of the Rings is a powerful story about strength and character, and you would think the ad would reflect that. However, the marketers at TBS apparently decided it would attract more viewers if they made Sam and Frodo look **BLEEP**, by showing nothing but Hobbits hugging and playing music about "secret lovers".

TBS, rather than representing the movie as it should be represented, decided to hop on the Brokeback Bandwagon. And I think it belittles the movie. What was once something grand becomes, in the eyes of the ignorant masses who watch TBS, hobbit porn.

Which brings me to my main point: the mainstream media and pop culture as a whole has an unhealthy obsession with deviant sexualities. THAT is the reason homosexual issues are so politically charged, and the reason homosexuality occupies such a confused, volatile position in our culture. We've all been conditioned to hunt for anything outside a narrowly defined hetero-normal behavioral spectrum and label it as something deviant.

Do not defend TBS. If you defend TBS, you're only proving my point and exacerbating the problem further.


Others chime in:


It's like how annoyed I was when people said Alexander The Great was **BLEEP**. He wasn't **BLEEP**, you ignorant piece of garabage.

I seem to think this cheapens Tolkien's masterpiece that is "The Lord of the Rings." In fact, this is cheapening Tolkien as well, since the majority of "The Lord of the RIngs" relates to his experience during WWI. (The dead marshes were an example of how water would fill up artillery craters and bodies would rise to the surface).

Remember when everybody kept saying Tom Cruise was **BLEEP**? He clearly isn't and yet the media interpreted deviancies in his behavior and a group of idiots latched onto it... But he's certainly not a homosexual. That was my point. Society is having hallucinations of homosexuality.


(I'd like to know the evidence on that last bit, myself.)

This goes on for 9 pages. The wankiest bit is probably the rant and the fact that the forum bleeps out "gay." It's like the forum got sent to ex-gay camp for the summer.

This wank report has been inspired by memii's post at fandom_lounge.

ETA: Here's a link to the ad on YouTube for those that may not be able to access TBS.com

From two mousies on wank_report.

indefatigable42 posts an "Etymology of Slash" essay on fanficrants, explaining that slash has nothing to do with canon or non-canon relationships, because it's all about teh ghey.

It's all cool for a while. A few people express annoyance about the idea of it meaning only non-canon relationships, and partly_bouncy argues a few of the more meaningless points, but it's all cool until. . .

partly_bouncy turns around and posts in her journal that slash is ZOMG NOT GAY!!!!1!:

Edit to put this at the top: My definition of gay is not male boinks male so male is gay. My definition of gay involves a person's own defined identity, sexual preference, embracing of a label and belonging to a certain community. Who you're boinking is not a part of that definition. Please realize that as you read the thing below. If you define gay as boinking, you're obviously going to find this whole thing flawed. And as a fan historian, I have not seen evidence that most of the community defined boinking as defining a person as gay.

Early slash was not homosexual. It was not gay. The etymology of the term in no way implies a gay or homosexual connection. I wish people would not imply that. Please stop. Fan fiction history and terminology has enough problems with the well-meaning fan disseminating misinformation.

Slash and GLBT culture did not meet really for the first time until the Xena fandom. They finally met because Xena had a lot of lesbian fans writing lesbian stories, complete with discussions regarding things like butch/femme dynamics.

If slash had been about gayness, it likely would have not taken off. It would have been seen as really damaging, really challenging and offensive because of the urge to push an agenda.

( Many people write TL;DR responses disagreeing. )

It also gets a mention in metafandom.

First post, please tell me if I did anything wrong so I can correct.