Wank found via wank_report.

lavendergaia, a.k.a. Kelly, doesn’t like the snowflake cookie V-gifts she’s been sent over on lj and expresses her displeasure on her journal:

Please do not read if you are easily offended


People, these are getting ridiculous. In the past two days, I have gotten almost 30 snowflake cookie gifts. You know how many of those were personalized or written in a way that I could tell that they were for me? About 5, probably less. I know that everyone is saying that they're free and it's the thought that counts, but I don't see any thoughtfulness in sending a free gift with a generic message that you've copied and pasted to every other person on your flist. My bank does that, but they at least take the time to put my name on it.

If I don't mean anything to you other than a name on a list who you occasionally talk to, that's fine. I am okay with that. But getting a copy/paste message on a free gift that takes a minute to send just shows that I am not important. There's really no need for you to take the small amount of time and send it. And for those of you who commented yesterday that you did do it because you cared, I appreciate that, but the fact that you have to say it means that your gift didn't and isn't that the point of gifts? To show how much you care?

Frankly, the majority of these snowflakes just say that you like having someone on your flist, but not enough to take the time to personally wish me a happy holidays or to do anything special. Maybe I'm alone in this, but I'd much rather get a nice comment or PM speaking to me as a person then the same gift you give to everyone else. That's not caring; that's obligation.

So thank you to everyone who acknowledged that I exist. And a large, genuine thank you who took the time to use the gifts to show that they care.


Her friends then start apologizing about sending her snowflake cookies. Eventually, people show up who don’t hold the same opinion.

bookshop was linked by a “few people who were pretty much speechless with disbelief” and thinks this to be “completely classless.”

ladyvyola translates Kelly’s post as “A big "fuck you" to anyone who took a moment to do something thoughtful for me.” Down-thread, Kelly says its been two weeks since the post was made and everyone is already over it, forgetting that the internet never really gets over anything.

jane_doe_ tells Kelly "you are a bad person and whoever raised you did a really bad job. Sorry."

So why are these snowflakes so damn special? bridget_x_alena explains to an anon:

Not really, because when people are buying gifts, they're picking something that they know a) the person will like, b) the person wants, or c) will mean something to the giftee. Key word here being 'buying'. As in, 'spending money on' because that person clearly means enough to have something bought for them. If I were to get the same free present for all of my friends, the ones that I only talk to once in a while are going to be like, "huh?" and the ones I talk to all the time are going to wonder why more thought wasn't put into it.

If anything, the fact that they were free made them less special because it was like most people were just saying, "HERE, I don't care about you enough to spend .99 on other vgifts during the rest of the year so here's this thing!"

Oh, and way to not have the balls to own up to your opinion.

ETA: lavendergaia has discovered she has been wanked. She's also shown up on sf_drama and sf_anon

Despite seeming so happy about being wanked in the above link to her journal, Kelly added this ETA to her original post:

2 Weeks Later ETA: Hello to everyone who is going to troll this and people here from Fandom Wanks. Hi! If you're going to comment, please at least make it fun. Thanks in advance! (Look, see, I can be thankful!)

ETA2: Okay, I'm bored with this now. And I plan to take another muscle relaxer and sleep for at least 12 hours and don't want to come up with an inbox full of trolls. Leaving the post open so people can mock or do whatever they want, but posting is disabled for now. I might reopen it again later if I get bored.

Nothing is better than a "I am so happy, but not really" flounce. Comments are locked. I hope everyone here has known better than troll the wank. Instead of snowflakes, she has recieved 12 cakes for Grinchmas from mice who respected her wishes and left personalized messages.

ladyvyola has popped over here in the report to say hello.

ETA 2: And now there's a community.

Thanks to a mousie on wank_report for this tip!

Even though they might be the same asshat!mousie who has linked the wankers to the wank_report already. This has happened before, so I suspect we have a repeat-offender moron!mouse on the loose.

(Update: reporter!mousie says no; the fink ain't hir. Many apologies to our intrepid reporter!mouse for the libel.)

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Also, before we start, I humbly dedicate the following post to the presumably-different and very amusing outraged!mousie who continues to snipe in any and all posts on wank_report that feature spn_gossip. Everyone loves a bonus wank!

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This wank involves a nice long thread on spn_gossip, but before we can get to that, you're going to need some definitions and facts:

( Danneel Harris has short fingernails and is therefore lesbian. )

I love Supernatural. One of these days, I'm going to have to actually sit down and watch the show.

I'm going to rip this straight from wank_report   because the Mouse summarized it perfectly:

"Small wank so far, but I'm sure Chancery won't disappoint us.

After Stone's debacle on the Amazon romance forums, Chancery discovered Nora Roberts. And immediately finds her so silly and her writing so horrible, she can't HELP but write a big long post on just how LITTLE Chancery thinks of la Nora.

http://danny.blogspirit.com/archive/2008/09/12/bleedin-nora.html#comments

Also, in the comments, to prove to everyone that she really DOESN'T CARE AT ALL about Nora, Chancery goes to her local library for some of Nora's books. Because she COULD REALLY CARE LESS. The butthurt is continued in her next blog post, wherein Chancery cares so little about Nora and her success that she psychoanalyzes Roberts' home life, motivations, and lack of strong female influences in her life.

http://danny.blogspirit.com/archive/2008/09/19/romancing-la-stone.html#comments

It would have just been left at that, perhaps, if Karen Knows Best, the former blog that complained about the Amazon wank, hadn't picked up on it and posted their own butthurt on behalf of Nora. Now that people are paying attention to her tantrum, Chancery will inevitably ascend to the peaks of Mount Wankalaya never before scaled.

http://karenknowsbest.com/2008/10/01/can-you-smell-the-desperation-from-here/#comments [ETA: Karen's account seems to have been suspended for some reason.]"


*applauds mousie*
The only things I'll add to this is that Chancery added another post in which she tries to spoof Nora's writing, with hi-fucking-larious results, and she found that last link the mousie gave.

I would've put this in clairvoyantwank  , but Chancery trying to spoof Nora's writing just put this one over the top.

Edited again to fix wacked-up HTML. GODDAMN RICH TEXT TAB.

Bride of ETA: There's now some bonus wank/rage in the comments of Chancery's post on being spotted by Karen. I don't know if it's related to Karen's blog going down or not, but some people clearly think so.

Son of ETA: Karen's blog is now back up. Leading theories are lasers, monkeys, space lasers, space monkeys, or space laser monkeys or us wankas overusing metered bandwidth.

Bride of the Son of ETA: What the shit? (from a new comment, made today, in CS's first post)

Revenge of the Bride of ETA: Speaking of batshit comments, there is now delightful catfighting in Chancery's post about Karen. Particularly beautiful (emphasis mine):
ItsASecret, why do you all have an obsession with me changing? Do you have problems with people changing on you? Is this a fear of werewolves, vampires? Did your mother have a sex change and become your dad? And there is no facility to screen comments on Blogspirit. All I can do is delete them. Would you like me to delete yours? Would that help you feel more special? Try not to look so paranoid. It's an ugly trait, and you're already trying too hard. You can't win, you know.

Don't worry, I have screencaps in excess should CS go on a deleteathon.

ETA with a twist of lemon (i couldn't resist): I think this deserves an ETA of its own for sheer fucking irony. Chancery's latest comment on this post:

Of course you "don't have an obsession with anything" about me, ItsASecret. And of course you "are not trying to win". And we do know why you keep posting "stupid comments". That, we do. However, maybe you want to try and learn not to "protest too much." Fails to convince.

And does anyone "disagree with me on the internet"? All I hear is the same sad assortment of 'insults' followed by "oh Chancery, never change", all the time, every time, over and over, endlessly. Not an 'argument' in sight.

Lastly, in the wild, giddy impossibility of one of you actually managing to think up something resembling a "disagreement" - why would that damage my "sparkling reputation"? (Thanks, by the way)

Do you ever think before you speak?

many bothansquotation marks died to bring us this ETA.

Spinning Spinsters decides to write an essay about how fan culture is highly conservative, and bolsters and propagates male supremacist ideas.

People in the comments seem to agree with her and thank her for having opened their eyes to how they're really just serving The Man by writing about guys getting on it.

But wait! Is such blanket approval natural? Not in the least.

As soon as she starts getting disagreements that are pro-slash, she deletes them on the grounds that such defenses can be found anywhere. She also refuses to link to any examples because it'd be unhelpful/too much work, and characterizes most femmeslash stories as being like lesbian pornography.

For bonus points, she apparently also has the power to edit comments if they talk about women in unacceptable ways. Though it's okay to say that on House, 'the women on that show are so lousy, either shrews or sex objects or both', so I'm curious as to what she doesn't find acceptable.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to serve The Man.

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

Or, Why Fannish Meta Can't Have Nice Things.

Over on LJ, hth_the_first makes a post about how slash and queer aren't the same thing. There's some interesting discussion, lots of personal insights and it's chugging along smoothly...until page 2.

miriam_heddy's comment includes this idea:

And while most slashers may well self-identify or live in the RW as heterosexual, in terms of behaviour, I'd argue that those same het slashers are often participating in homosexual activity.

mrs260 objects to that, inspiring this post's title, and asks for clarification. harriet_spy breaks in:

Surely you did not mean to come into the LJ of a queer person and suggest that homosexual activity is disgusting, did you?

One can disagree with the analysis without suggesting that it leads somewhere loathsome.

Turns out mrs260 is a gay man, so along with not being all over the ladies, "Besides the whole fact that I'm attracted to men, not women, I don't think it's out of line to think it's icky to see someone postulate that one has been unwittingly participating in "sexual activity" with any number of friends, acquaintances, and strangers."

And it's on. The thread grows, people continue to having Learning Experiences with harriet_spy, mrs260 clarifies, and later on, friends of his show up to support him in brand-new LJs (never a good move) and get into it with liviapenn.

Old-time BNFs. Accusations of homophobia. (Putative) sockpuppets. All that's missing is plagiarism allegations.