Kanye West goes insane on his blog after his performance at the Bonnaroo Festival is delayed and the fans are mean to him. (But not insane enough to forget to stick a Mac Air reference in his MOSTLY CAPS rant - keep those ad revenue checks coming in, Kanye.) Cue the usual WE LUV U KANYE vs KANYE SUX comments everywhere.


...His new song, Squid Brains, is sure to be a hit. (OK, I'm wishing here.)

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

*cough* Having gotten that out of my system, on to the wank.

Jahanx, judging by his/her quote, is not a fan of Sparta.

'You know what annoys me more than the misconception that the Spartans were good guys? Present day Greeks who go on about the Spartans being good guys and saying shizzle like "Greek Pride!"
Thats like German people saying "Go Nazis!Wooo!"'

The expected happens, especially here. Words are minced, babies are killed, Godwin gets a real workout, and we see again that boobies can be cruel creatures.

EDIT: Mod announcement! No more srs bizness, guys!

....It really should be porn (and depending on who you are...close enough).


300 opens...and THEY'RE OFF!

People pouring in reviews decrying the big lies of history and terrorists made at the hands of "holy wood".

There is tl;dr and hilarious typos all around, and I'm sure if you keep refreshing your browser, the wank will be continuous and free flowing, so be sure to bring your rain boots and umbrella.

ETA: If that spell-check starved review you're looking at seems familiar...you've probably already seen it. Some people are either reposting comments that other reviewers have written, or under other yahoo user names.

ETA II: Too good to pass on: When recruiting for Christ in a movie thread goes wrong. Still has nothing on the guy that tried to convert lions at a zoo, but it's worth a look.

ETA III: It was only matter of time before the entire country of Iran joined in this wank-fest.

So trinityofone saw an advance screening of 300 and she didn't like it very much. The language is rather overwrought (she begins the review by calling the film "the most disgusting piece of pro-Iraq war propaganda I have ever seen"), but there's no actual wank to be had until Page 3, when people start to disagree. Some are polite, some are sarcastic and mildly offended, some show a curious aversion to addressing her as "you", and some suggest that she "go commit 45-caliber fellatio, you dumb cunt". (Hey, at least they're using the second person.)

And a very special visit from our friend Rann.