First attempt at posting, although I've been barracking from the sidelines for about a millennium now ...

astolat posts A Matter Of Inconvenience, which is American Idol slashfic (Kris/Adam) with a 'Regency' setting. At least, that's the general idea, and harmless enough you would have thought - assuming that AI AU RPS is your thing. (Alphabet soup!)

zvi, however, takes exception. Amongst other objections, A Matter of Inconvenience is not about race, thoughtlessly invokes colonial issues, and just doesn't put up any warning flags for those who are about to read it. Also, apparently, this is a thing Astolat fucked up. Everybody, please to endeavor not to fuck up like that with your next happy fun sexytimes historical.

What starts off as moderately polite discussion about historicity in slash fanfiction is, however, quickly derailed by willow who offers the following reasoned evaluation: In the middle of the cuppa tea, the empire waist dresses and the ass-sex of your AU Regency - please to be remembering the hydra heads of colonialism and imperialism and what that means for and about your whitey white penis salt lick fan thought of the moment.

liviapenn tries to calm things down a bit with some entertaining stuff about plumbers and blow jobs but this only serves to upset willow further. Why is it that everytime I see you lately, you're happily shoving your foot into your mouth via your hindquarters? ... You keep claiming to understand your privilege and say you're reflecting on it and then you start chomping that feces encrusted shoe leather again. willow's User Info states "'M brown and I have an attitude." No kidding.

astolat's attempt to explain herself gets stomped on, and the desirability of historical accuracy in a Kris/Adam Regency alternate universe is lathered, rinsed and repeated for those who missed it the first time.

Small, but strangely vitriolic given the subject matter. It's difficult to imagine why people are getting quite so over-excited about one piece of costumed fluff in a universe of lesbian cars and tentacle porn, but it may keep us entertained while we're waiting for next incarnation of VB.

ETA: Okay, I get the message, I got it wrong - or maybe I just don't have a sense of humour? Either way, it was obviously a bad call. Lesson learned.

Remember the last HP wank - Hermione Granger - Voldemort in the making? Here we have Episode II.

The OP in the previous wank terri_testing wrote a fanfic about Dumbledore's childhood. People in the comments started to argue with each other and wankery ensued.

marionros, who during the previous wank diagnosed Harry, Hermione, Dumbledore, the Twins, James and Sirius as psychopaths, insisted that Harry, Hermione and Dumbledore have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Lily also has NPD.

And what the heck, so does JKR herself.

My issues, let me show you them.

Snape is a victim of narcissist.

Hermione isn't intelligent and she has bad studying skills.

Pureblood prejudice is probably justified.

James was ever so evil.

JKR doesn't know Neville like I do.

Why did students hate Snape for insulting them? My teachers insulted me and I loved them!

Harry is like a suicide bomber and Dumbledore is like Osama bin Laden.

The whole Wizarding World is a cult, Dumbledore is a cult leader and Harry and Hermione are completely brainwashed.

Because of the Marauders' bullying Snape suffered from PTSD like Vietnam veteran, which justifies his treatment of Harry.

Snape was pressured into joining the Death Eaters.

You call my argument sick, but you find me hot!

Thanks to the mousie who posted this on wank_report.

r_becca starts the Harry/Ginny fic exchange takingitinturns. Things go well for the most part, despite a small kerfluffle during the exchange over reviews.*

As it turns out, that would not be the last review wank this exchange would see.

almond_joyz posts When You Figure Out You, Come Back to Me as a gift to another participant. The fic receives positive reviews until deadwoodpecker adds her two cents in a rather patronizing manner.

Highlights include her telling the author that their fic - a dramatic story - was an absolutely hilarious "absurdist comedy" and then finishing with this:

And that "ending"! To be honest, I've gotten lazy about endings as well. After writing 30 chapters of Yellow Submarine, I pretty much threw in the towel and said "no more." I think that in another month or two - when you aren't so burnt out - you'll probably find that your little story needs a resolution.

almond_joyz responds in a calm fashion, explaining it was not a comedy and that she is happy with the fic as is.

Then three of deadwoodpecker's friends decided to add their critical reviews, one after another, each pointing out the same flaws in the story. birlan even goes so far as to delete a prior positive review to the fic and repost his review pointing out the same flaws his friends did.

Another of deadwoodpecker's friends, mhersheybar, coincidentally decides to post a rant about the right to leave concrit before anyone reacts. In this post, deadwoodpecker decides it would be a good idea to mock the story and almond_joyz shows up to tell her off. Sadly, mhersheybar decided to disable comments but if anyone has a screencap, it would be much appreciated. IIRC it involved deadwoodpecker showing up just to post *gives erotic massage to paralyzed girl* and LOLing about it.

Elsewhere on the internets, Deadwoodpecker and friends are called assholes, almond_joyz flips her shit and deadwoodpecker decides to mock the author and r_becca some more while gearing up for a flounce.

Finally, Deadwoodpecker tries to explain herself. She was just being honest, you guys. And the old guard in H/G is oppressing the newbs.

* I mention the early kerfluffle because deadwoodpecker was suspected of being behind the review, according to her. Edit: Or because it was a rumor going around!

ETA: The plot thickens...?

ETA II: More history! A while back, after deadwoodpecker and her friends swept the H/G awards, almond_joyz decided to hold her own awards.

And thanks to mariem_1 for the files of deadwoodpecker mocking the fic.

ETA III: More history still! deadwoodpecker had a discussion with loony4lupin during the hp_porninthesun fest. This was over the fest rules which deadwoodpecker assumed singled her out personally. loony4lupin is also the person whose fic was mentioned above as having been trashed by an anonymous reviewer with deadwoodpecker being the suspect.

Thanks, mice!

When shezoo reposts hir Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children fanfic, "Flower Face", to ffvii_yaoi (locked, comm is open membership), the response is seemingly underwhelming - that is until eternalwings posts to fanficrants about the story.

The first few comments are pretty tame and agreeable, until some of the author's friends and the author hirself show up.

It's called AU, twit.

Apparently, the story title comes from Welsh mythology, something renos_rude AND screamersgirl explain in the comments using the exact same text (with a tiny error likely because the entire lump wouldn't fit in AIM).

And then the author appears, complete with capslock, insults and exclamation point abuse.

AND YOUR RUINING THE PRETEND!

Not to mention the entire thread devolving into something to do with coconut.

All's well that wanks well, right? Except that a quick check back to see when "Flower Face" was originally posted reveals that shezoo is sepherotica is ssgallery is annataria (that Annataria), because ze changes usernames as often as ze changes URLS. And while some of those journals have been deleted, Annataria's is still there, listing many of the 'random' defenders (including the one so taken by the story) on FFR as friends. ...whoops?

Kanye West goes insane on his blog after his performance at the Bonnaroo Festival is delayed and the fans are mean to him. (But not insane enough to forget to stick a Mac Air reference in his MOSTLY CAPS rant - keep those ad revenue checks coming in, Kanye.) Cue the usual WE LUV U KANYE vs KANYE SUX comments everywhere.


...His new song, Squid Brains, is sure to be a hit. (OK, I'm wishing here.)