Nangbaby is boycotting Sailor Moon for crimes against humanity wait, wait, no, sorry, that was me listening to the language, not the message. Sorry, Viz is doing a redub with the cast's original names.

To quote Nangbaby so I don't misrepresent her:

I promised that I would leave the fandom if this happened and I will. As much as I would like to make it an immediate exit, please note that I have spent a significant chunk of my life loving Serena as Sailor Moon, Alan, Ann, Lita, Game Machine Man, Bertie, and Malachite (just like the sword in Ogre Battle). Forgive the dramatic death throes.

For those of you who think I’m overreacting, let me make this clear. Viz has essentially announced that the Sailor Moon loved by millions, the girl named Serena whose opening theme proclaims she fights evil by moonlight and wins love by daylight. is no more. She has been erased from continuity Sonja Belmont-style.

Now, I grew up with Sailor Moon like any red-blooded nineties Canadian, but I'm not sure quite sure what she's getting at. But she goes on to say:

Now imagine if George Lucas has in addition to making those changes, stated Chewbacca was actually canonically a lesbian and changed the scenes to make that very obvious, as well as claimed the Jedi’s goal was to oversee the development of humanity according to the Force and lead them into the light through taking over the Empire.

Now, this may have unfortunate implications with the fact the redub re-adds two original canon gay couples, but I'm also pretty sure Lucas did that anyway and we just moved on.

I mean, we all remember the makeout scene after Leia says she'd rather kiss a Wookie, right? And the interview with Chewbacca's new dub voice, Tilda Swinton, where she says she's proud to play Chewbacca as he was always meant to be - a proud queer woman covered head to toe in fur. She even did the interview in the Chewbacca costume, despite her height and the fact she actually did the whole role from a recording booth.

Sorry, I've deviated.

She knows who to blame, and she's darn well gonna do it.

As a normal person*, I have no powers against this blatant disenfranchisement and marginalization except that of my limited wallet, and I will say this. From this day forward I will not pay for an official piece of Sailor Moon material released from this date forward. I am boycotting Sailor Moon for the actions of Naoko Takeuchi — make no mistake Viz and Toei Animation are culpable as well, but in their defense, they are transparent in that they make the real culprit clear — the woman who authored the manga that inspired the anime and now has taken over the inspired creation.

She understands it's going to be a hard path, but she will face that path. And she's doing it because god help you if you call Sailor Moon Usagi.

I know my action alone is meaningless, but I encourage others to not pay and not give anything official any more time. It’s not enough to complain. We have to take the power away from them that we gave them to redress this wrong.

Sailor Moon CX will no longer update. As much as I would love to finish the story in a “Take That” no one reads it and no one cares, so I am abandoning it. I won’t burden people with my presence much longer.

To conclude, Viz is a monster, Naoko Takeuchi is a monster, and she's not posting her fanfic anymore.

Also there's a site!

The post concludes:

Edit: I’m back.

*blatant lie

... or so fandom seems to think. The lovers might disagree.

So, it’s been announced that Genevieve Padalecki is pregnant.

And the Supernatural fandom, naturally, loses it.

Like any rational fan, they question it:

“But why would she have to disappear the second she found out she was pregnant if everything is hunky dory normal?”

Speculate wildly:

“Or, maybe that's when Gen said she wanted out, and Dan came up with this great excuse for her to be out of the public eye for the next year while still contributing to the het parade.”

“If it's true my opinion of Jared is in the toilet. I still believe he's gay and in a relationship with Jensen. It's not possible for two guys to work as close as they do for almost 7 years and be as close friends as they are unless it's beyond friendship. Not possible. Not with HW egos.

But they don't need to bring kids into the mess to establish het cred. For God's sake he's not 30 yet. Most men in HW don't have kids till way into their 30s. I always thought Gen was a lesbian. Far out theory but maybe she's pregnant with a GF and will pass it off as Jared's.
“
( J2 are gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay... )

From wank_report:

Someone has decided that enough is enough, and it is now time to cleanse the Pit of Voles FF.net of all that ails it. And that someone is the Literate Union! Motto: "well here are the people who are going to give it anyways!"

"It", apparently, being concrit or flaming. You know, whichever you prefer.

"The LU -- The Literate Union -- is a society that helps to improve the quality of stories on FanFiction that either break the rules or are poorly written. In the case of the latter, we try to help the author, bringing their piece up to standard. Difficult cases are reported to the admins."

( And we got to go in with our hydraulic system, and blast him out! )

Brought to you by wank_report!

Clan Mitchell is a Dreamwidth community revolving around the fictional Mitchell family, which appears to be a huge group of people who live in the Carolinas under the administration of a matriarch named Momma, generally serve in some branch of the U.S. military, and/or operate under a general curtain of good ol' American values, get-well-pies, and care packages.

Motto: "The Mitchells will inherit the earth: the meek don't move fast enough."

From the profile:

"So ivorygates and synecdochic made up a bunch of crazy Southern relatives, and the "Fuck Canon, Fanon Makes More Sense, Dammit" club (meetings on alternate Tuesdays, free t-shirts at the recruiting tables, bring your own beer but the cookies are free) firmly believes that "Kansas, my ass" is the best way to approach Cameron Mitchell's home life, and, well, there should be more fic about these people!

Not necessarily a shared-continuity set of stories -- use as much or as little as you'd like -- but a shared-character-list and a place for people to build a shared-world. Grab a Mitchell and start writing. Resistance is futile! You will be assimilated. And probably baked for."

( It all starts with a ficprompt... )
ETA: Revenge of the Sith: cap including the offending fic.

Holy ETA, Batman: (thanks, mousie)
"When someone has put in a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to create an absolutely beautiful sandbox to play in (a sandbox that they love very very much), and then not only allows you to come in and play in their sandbox, but graciously opens the door and INVITES you in, you don't shit in the sandbox. You don't. M'kay? Good."

We can't stop here, this is ETA country: It's time for the public address roll, looks like. From eilan:
* slybrarian calls for fair and balanced.
* quinfirefrorefiddle & co. are appalled at F_W's lack of journalistic integrity.
* Synecdochic's state of the union, and also ivorygates is banned. Or left. Either way, she's not a mod any more.

So there's this video about Bleach voice actors who were at Kawaii-Kon, an anime convention hosted in Hawaii, where they were questioned about possible romantic preferences for the young man they provide voices for. Johnny Yong Bosch (JYB) is the voice behind Kurosaki Ichigo for the English dub, while Morita Masakazu (MM) is the Japanese seiyū for the dashing hero. No, he's not really dashing. More like cranky.

the toobs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQfkhEK04jE

Then someone dared to ask the million-dollar question: do they prefer RUKIA or ORIHIME for Ichigo?

In summation, JYB & MM both said "Orihime." So there!
( OH. HELL. NO. Voice actors aren't allowed opinions! )
( But this series isn't about ROMANCE!!! )

Bonus references to Avatar: the Last Airbender wank here.

This has been a busy, busy week for Bleach fandom! I have some caps, but tinypic keeps re-sizing the images.

Finally, a friendly reminder to my fellow wankas: don't feed the trolls.

:throws cheese to mousey for collecting links:

( Aww, ETA's for breakfast? You're too kind! )
( We have contact! )

Edit 3: Fandom Wank's name was dropped like it's hott. jaseroque got a special mention for the translation.

Edit 4:( The wank levels up! Or uh... Bankai. )

First True Blood wank!! *is excited*

Here I present you: midnight_charm's crazy shipping theories.


( Bill Compton, the Lord of the Rings )

( YOU ALL HAVE BEEN FOOLED. This is what REALLY happened at the beginning of episode 9 )

ETA: I added some more explanations for our non-True Blood fans :). My additions to the quotes are in [].

From a mouse on wank_report and using some of their language.

copper_cakes uses a picture as her Livejournal background of the Bleach pairing Ulquiorra/Orihime. Unfortunately, it was a commission, and the artist and the person who paid for the art let her know. She takes down the image, and apologizes for using it and causing them trouble here.

Sounds straightforward, right? But you forget: this is Bleach and Bleach is serious fucking business. Not only is stealing wrong, copper_cakes is a LYING LIAR who only really ships Ichigo/Orihime!

( No, really. )

Small, but tasty in its utter detachment from any sense of perspective.

EDIT: Yes, you've seen Yulieana before.

EDIT THE SECOND: Yulieana...um. Responds, I guess?

EDIT THE THIRD: Moar caps! Were people actually buying wedding dresses? Spill the details, folks! EDIT THE FOURTH: This may be an exaggeration. BUT IF YOU HAVE BLEACH WEDDING DRESS ART, PUT IT IN COMMENTS, I'm bored and LJ is slow today. Bonuses for boys in dresses.

EDIT THE FOURTH (NO, WAIT, THE FIFTH): Where are my wedding dresses, bitches? Yulieana compares fandom_wank to Fox News (can I be Shepherd Smith?), some girl I don't know to infamous lawyer "Jake" Thompson, and takes a sideswipe at Johnny Yong Bosch. Dude, dissing the Black Ranger? So not on. Get it before it's locked!

EDIT SIX: Thanks for the wedding dresses! Oh, and neutrality is simply impossible when it comes to Bleach ships.

There once was an archive for Yuletide
and when it died every other fool cried
stop thief
in erroneous belief
that their fics were about to go worldwide

( background )

( the set up )

( coda )

OH ETA: melodyclark is here to show us all that even older women like to wank like horny thirteen year olds, but if she doesn't give it a rest I'm worried she's going to go blind, develop hairy palms, AND come down with a raging case of carpal tunnel syndrome.

thanks to inquisition for the heads up.

eta 3.1415 The abyss is looking into us... and it's fucking stupid. :D

bonus lulz: tzikeh point out to me that melodyclark tried to edit her fanlore page.

( text for anyone who can't or doesn't want to load fanlore )

Meet Lironess, a person of such stunning perfection that she feels confident, nay obliged, to point out the shortcomings of others. Constantly.

When she's not diagnosing diseases over the internet, she's apparently advocating approaching strangers at cons with skin diseases to ask them:

"OMG What the hell is wrong with your skin?"

Yeah, not even kidding*.

Unfortunately no one told betnoir that icky diseased people exist solely as teaching moments for the beautiful people, and that she better learn to live with it or else spend the rest of her life in misery. Luckily for her then, that lironess is here to explain it to her.

The spat lands in sf_drama, where lironess baleeted her most offensive comments (though considering what's left - just WOW) and apparently whole threads if bizarro goodness like handing out condoms to furries, and horse sex, and her inability to spell freak. she then demonstrates her utter lack of getting teh internets, as well as proving that there really isn't a maximum fail quota per post.

After calling like, everyone, a coward or accusing them of hiding (for commenting in an unlocked post in a very public community? huh?) lironess prepares her flounce by calling betnoir (and everyone else) out. As in, *cue scareh music* she can FIND people:

"It has been fun to watch you all hide on a community and make your statements thinking I would not see and reply. However, I can find all of you, any where."

betnoir names a place and time.

but yanno, it's waaaay to far, plus it'd be a hassle and betnoir's fucking parents would sue and it would be a big mess and lironess doesn't care enough to bother. Or something.



*I debated if this should be in UNF because disability!fail = so fucking unfunny, plus there's bonus!fail on both sides, but for sheer overwhelming WTF wankiness I think it belongs here.

Snapefen are still wanking about Lily Evans Potter. terri_testing posted an essay More on Lily's behavior in SWM: Lily the Prefect? on Snapedom. An excerpt from this essay:
( Read more )

Batshit flourishes in the comments:
( Read more )

I know we've had a few HP posts lately, so of course it's time for something Twilight related. I saw this posted in a forum I lurk in and felt some of you might find it interesting, even if it is a few months old.

This doesn't involve Twilighters so much as the dark side of the fandom: TwilightSucks.com. Specifically, the Fangirl Encounters forum.

First, the backstory. You see, the OP, Nyxbel Hawthorne, has a cousin who is a bit obsessed with Twilight. So obsessed, in fact, that when she catches Nyx browsing TwilightSucks.com, she is moved to spit in Nyx's yogurt when Nyx is in the other room. Nyx finds out with the spoon in her mouth, spits out the yogurt, then takes to the TwilightSucks fora in order to have the members come up with ideas for revenge. Interestingly, in later iterations of the tale she says she threw up for "a half hour" after, though in the initial post she makes absolutely no mention of this. She posts two threads, one in which members vote on which plan of revenge she should implement, and one in which she announces the winner.

( What happens next is fairly interesting indeed. )

EDIT, per ara: Seems the thread has been archived in the "Bullshit Encounters" forum. Was it all a dream?

We begin our saga on the fair hills of house_wilson, where the grass grows green and the House/Wilson shippers occasionally throw shit fits over whether or not David Shore is dicking around House/Wilson shippers.

One day, this (relatively) peaceful comm is visited by slow_mo_panda, who had arrived to bring to everyone her thoughts on yaoi The Contract, a love-it or hate-it extreme-whump fic amongst House fandom.

The masses do not react well. (And euclase wins the "most over-the-top reaction to criticism" award for this week.)

Having been thrown out by her ears, slow_mo_panda once again continued her travels, landing on the shores of fanficrants, where she hoped to be greeted with open arms and kind words telling her how everyone else is a bunch of mean bitches.

Alas, she had no luck on that front, either.

After a number of negative comments, she deleted that post and was banninated from fanficrants. And there was much rejoicing.

Hearing the commotion, ffrantsrants and sf_drama arrived on the scene so that they could point and laugh.

However, this is not the end of our story. slow_mo_panda, apparently having not learned her lesson yet, appeared once again, this time in ffrantsrants in order to talk about how oppressed she is. Or something. ETA: Now locked down, but here's a text-version:
( also long )
ETA2: And now doire brings the screencaps.


Caps courtesy of xayeidemon.

ETA: Removed links to locked fanficrants content.

ETA2: Apparently, our friend has left a review on ff.net on the original fic:
( cut for length )


ETA3: Now a tl;dr post in her personal journal. Man, she really doesn't know when to stop, does she?

Remember the last HP wank - Hermione Granger - Voldemort in the making? Here we have Episode II.

The OP in the previous wank terri_testing wrote a fanfic about Dumbledore's childhood. People in the comments started to argue with each other and wankery ensued.

marionros, who during the previous wank diagnosed Harry, Hermione, Dumbledore, the Twins, James and Sirius as psychopaths, insisted that Harry, Hermione and Dumbledore have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Lily also has NPD.

And what the heck, so does JKR herself.

My issues, let me show you them.

Snape is a victim of narcissist.

Hermione isn't intelligent and she has bad studying skills.

Pureblood prejudice is probably justified.

James was ever so evil.

JKR doesn't know Neville like I do.

Why did students hate Snape for insulting them? My teachers insulted me and I loved them!

Harry is like a suicide bomber and Dumbledore is like Osama bin Laden.

The whole Wizarding World is a cult, Dumbledore is a cult leader and Harry and Hermione are completely brainwashed.

Because of the Marauders' bullying Snape suffered from PTSD like Vietnam veteran, which justifies his treatment of Harry.

Snape was pressured into joining the Death Eaters.

You call my argument sick, but you find me hot!

Before I get started, a disclaimer: The closest connection I have to Irish fandom is that I've flown over bits of Ireland from time to time. And, when I was a kid, I saw a lot of commercials for Lucky Charms. So I'm probably going to be missing a few subtleties. Also, this is something that happened recently, and recently . . . recently isn't really the decade that I'm best at.

With that said, it seems that there's a guy named Pádraig Ó Méalóid. Who's active in Irish con-going fandom. Or at least, he's active in large parts of Irish con-going fandom. But not Octocon, the Irish National Convention, which is going to be held next weekend. You see Pádraig got a letter the other day, that went a little something like this:

Hello,

I'm writing on behalf of the 2009 Octocon Committee. I am the Co-Chair.

Due to your behaviour at the convention some time ago and your online behaviour earlier this year we have come to the unfortunate decision to ban you from this convention. We believe that your attitude towards us has been far to aggressive both online and in the past at the convention.

This matter is not open for discussion and we will not enter into any online discussion regarding this nor will we discuss this with any other persons. This decision is final.

We are deeply saddened by this as this is the first time a committee has had to ban someone. We will of course will refund your money; if you reply to me with your address I will forward this onto you as soon as possible.

Regards,

Nichola Hannigan

Now, if you're like me, you look at a letter like that, and think "she probably meant 'far too aggressive'." Also, you'd find that third paragraph amusingly repetitive. (I have to warn you, if that was actually your reaction, you're going to want to lay some tarp around your work area, as one of the links that comes later is going to make your head explode. And that's hard to clean up.)

And, if you're someone like Pádraig, you'll go ahead and post the letter to your livejournal. I mean, I'd have done that as well, but with far more mockery.

But Pádraig wasn't the only place in which this news was broken. Cheryl Morgan happened to mention it as well. To quote the seemingly innocuous paragraph:

In less good news my email is currently buzzing with the news that my good friend Pádraig Ó Méalóid has apparently been banned from the convention. I know that Pádraig has been rather critical of the Octocon committee this year, and perhaps rather more aggressive about it than he should have been, but I know my fan history well enough to remember that banning people from conventions rarely ends well. The right way to deal with one’s critics is to prove them wrong by running a great event.

Comment 3 is by one James Brophy, who was, at that point, on the Octocon committee. And he's there to link to the convention's Code of Conduct, and defend the committee's decision. Against all challengers.

The first one he takes on is Pádraig. To his protestations of "I don't know what the hell they're talking about," James replies with "You turned your ignorance of your own actions into a press release." Zing!

Then there's another challenger. Gary Farber replies in his own, inimitable fashion. And at great length. And other people agree with him. Also, Chris O'Shea points out that the code of conduct in question wasn't actually put up on the web last week, which is apparently after whatever happened that made them kick Pádraig out of the convention. It also is in the realm of possibility that the code went up after they sent the letter.

Chris concludes with:

Octocon’s PR has the ears of the world at the moment, it would be a good time to explain what is going on, because in the absence of such, things will only get worse.

James isn't going to take that lying down! In the next comment, he announces his resignation from the con committee, and comprehensively flips his shit. This is where the grammar induced head-explosions are going to start, by the way, as his language skills seem to go at the same time as his temper.

I'm not a hundred percent capable of parsing the claims in the post, but as I understand them, they more or less go as follows: a) Pádraig is a mean guy. b) Also, he says mean things, both to people, and about people. c) One time, he took some prints from a photographer that he shouldn't have.

Rather than do a play-by-play for the rest of the thread, I'll summarize. Gary makes fun of James's difficulties both with the English language and with logic. James explains that one of the lurkers who supports him isn't speaking up, because he's a writer, and fears that Cheryl Morgan will ruin his career. Cheryl gets upset at that, and bans James from her blog, until she's contacted by the guy in question. Which, rather surprisingly, she is, so she un-bans him. Various other members of the committee show up, not so much to explain their actions, as to explain that they wanted this to be kept private, and they are saddened that Pádraig has put his own interests above those of a convention which he's not allowed to attend.

As one might expect, there's some discussion about there elsewhere on the internet; the one bit that jumped out at me as providing useful data was a comment on lj which suggested that one of Pádraig's major sins was founding a convention that's been more successful than Octocon over the last decade or so.

And that's all I've got.

snatched from wank_report

"Someone" posts a secret (#114 now bahleeted--caps?) on fandomsecrets and the image is stored on her easily identifiable photobucket account. She claims to be lonely and not have any friends and she wishes the Avatar characters were her RL friends. But she means local friends, not imaginary intarweb bitches her LJ friends.

Responses are mostly of the "Oh, snap!" variety except for the "What am I? Chopped liver?" one. It's really a very mild response though yukinoomoni is outed by name.

( She doesn't overreact at all: )

eta: F_W is not your therapist. If you can't lol at a wank maybe you need to go for a walk. I thought this was funny. lol sociopath.

Inglourious Basterds is the latest Quentin Tarantino movie. Oh No They Didn't, is a gossip site based on LJ that is big enough it's actually taken LJ severs out more than once all on its lonesome (I think the last time was when Michael Jackson died, but don't quote me). Eli Roth is the guy who plays Donny "The Bear Jew" Donowitz in Inglourious Basterds (he also wrote/directed Cabin Fever and Hostel and its apparently awful sequel. That guy).

It all started when Eli Roth discovered the Inglourious Basterds Kink Meme.

Surprisingly, not via a fangirl breaking the sacred rule of Though Shalt Not Force Porn On The People In It AFAIK, but all on his lonesome. He was pretty much amused and also decided to show it to and discuss it with Quentin Tarantino (who apparently agreed with him the Donny would be a top), and also Christoph Waltz (who played Landa in IB) and apparently his parents, because he's that kind of classy. This garnered many facepalms from fangirls in places like 100_scalps, but shockingly, very little wank.

This resulted in a lot of twittering porn at him and his discovery of ONTD. He made a I <3 ONTD sign. Something a fair few celebs have done in the past.

After that it kind of got out of control, progressing from ONTD changing his Wiki page to say he was their Official Boyfriend to him twittering he would think about all of ONTD when he jerked off the night, then posting a picture of a very used looking tissue, then to a very candid interview with questions from a lot of people at ONTD*, to-- and here's where the wank really started, pun utterly and completely intended-- having cyber sex with various ONTD'ers on his MySpace. The Eli Roth tag on ONTD contains basically every screen cap and citation, so I'm not linking to everything individually. Scroll on down.

Then it came out that some of said cyber sexin' ONTD'ers sent him pictures of their boobs.

ONTD proceeds to have a 5000 comment long flamewar consisting of the brilliant arguments (paraphrased, but I assure you all quite accurate as you will see if you click this link): YOU'RE SLUTS. NO WE'RE NOT. YES YOU ARE. NO WE'RE NOT. YES YOU ARE. NO WE'RE NOT. YES YOU ARE.

I think, in conclusion, I would like to say that despite what you may think of Mr. Roth, he certainly knows how to make a girl laugh.

*This is the only thing that is locked, however, you only have to join ONTD to see it. It's... worth it.

[ETA]: Omar Doom answered a similar fangirl written survey for ONTD, said he wouldn't be at all opposed to seeing some fangirl boobs, and the wank goes ever on and on in the comments.

A Slytherfan terri_testing writes an essay The Wizarding World and the Otherworld, where she argues that Harry Potter books are horror, not fantasy and that Hogwarts is like the school where the Native American children were brainwashed:

( Read more )

The essay provokes a chorus of "I agree"s and complaints about JKR's treatment of Snape:

mary_j_59 (see "Good night, sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!")

This is brilliant, Terri! And absolutely consistent. You know, my sister and I went to hear Rowling, Irving and King in NYC, and we both liked John Irving (reading from Owen Meany) best. Now the reason is clear. Rowling is actually a horror writer, like King, and I do not like horror. Still less do I like horror disguised as a children's fantasy quest. Irving, on the other hand, was writing in the great tradition of picaresque novels - a tragicomedy with a moral core.

But what I still wonder is: did (and does) Rowling know that she has actually written a dystopion/horror story? Somehow I don't think she realizes this.

condwiramurs/00sevvie

I second the 'brilliant' comment. And I highly doubt Rowling is aware of what she has actually written. She is too utterly blind to the reasons we like Severus, for example, to have any clue that she may have written something different from what her perfect picture of her work in her head is. I'm sure she thinks we're just getting it 'wrong.'

oryx_leucoryx (see Cry the Beloved Slytherins)

So if Severus Snape actually survived Nagini's bite, returned to the Muggle world and became some kind of counselor to delinquent youth or someone who runs an anti-bullying program (by working both with victims and perpetrators) he would be a hero with a rather protracted but complete journey? Starting out as the victim of neighborhood bullies (I doubt Petunia was the only one who knew that the strangely dressed kid was the Snape boy from Spinner's End) who must have dreamed that magic would solve his problems, learned that magic simply gave bullies more dangerous/'interesting' ways to hurt people, played a key role in getting rid of the biggest bully in the magical playground and came home to use non-magical ways against bullies?
***
bohemian_spirit has some fics in that general direction - in her 'Light Between the Cracks' series Severus Snape of canon years was secretly married to a Muggle school teacher and while at his Muggle home watched over the neighborhood children. And in her 'Professor Grunge' Severus immigrates to the US instead of joining the Death Eaters. He studies at a wizarding university and becomes a teacher who fights bullying and uses music to assist in magical healing.

But the real fun starts when night_train_fm decides to argue with terri_testing and says, among other things:

'Hermione exiling her parents to Australia'
She did that because she was terrified (with good reason) of the DEs coming after them: Voldemort was taking over the government, had already ordered several public mass-Muggle-killings, and anyone remotely connected to Harry was a potential target. According to Jo, Hermione reversed the spell ASAP once the threat was over. For that matter, is it ever outright stated that she didn't sit down and discuss it with them first?

That doesn't go well.

( Hermione is teh ebil! )

Thanks to the mousie at wank_report!

Remember this wank? Which involved this guy? Well, if you're wondering what that rattling noise you hear is, it's the sound of head-desking over at TV Tropes, and it's all thanks to him.

---

Notes on the Source Material: There were 14 pages of comments, and just after I finished documenting the hijinks on page 12, everything got bahleeted. I snagged screencaps of pages 2-11 (which is more than Google cache got) but the most comprehensive record of this wank comes from my raw notes. Below the cut, you'll find a summary of the wank with links so you can bamf around and read the just interesting bits of the raw notes. The screencaps can be found here.

---

( Cosmetor Saves the Internet )

These two comments, made shortly before the bahleetion, are rather telling:

(15021) Dire Sloth: So... that Fan Dumb thread... it's kind of dumb.

(15022) Tzetze: I don't want to hear about that thread again.

---

ETA the 001: (Thanks to galateus for linkage, and ari_o for linkage that led to more linkage)

( Cosmetor Has Saved the Internet Before )

---

ETA the 010: (Thanks to boomstickjones for linkage to the latest, hottest, breaking news!)

Internet Does Not Want to be Saved, Banninates Cosmetor

2; Fast Eddie: After review ... People tried to reason with him. This is the second time he's been around, spreading chaos. He didn't really break any rules, but being around him is a pain in the ass.
Block installed.
7; Fighteer: Whew, thanks. That Fan Dumb argument felt like it was sucking the brain from my skull.
9; Some Sort of Troper: It feels wrong to me that the thread was deleted, it should have a more fitting end. Something like the house at the end of Poltergeist, it should have imploded and been sucked into hell.

( Spoilers for Torchwood and oh god great linky madness within. Enter at your own risk. )

This post brought to you by the ridiculously helpful mousies on wank_report, the letter W and the number 4. (The W is for wut and 4 is how many cups of coffee I've already had today).

A minor wank, but with tasty bits of hilarity.

Football (or soccer to everyone on the other side of the Atlantic) is an integral part of British culture. There's few things fans find more enjoyable than spending a Saturday standing in the rain watching your team lose again before going off to the pub for pie and a pint. It's serious business.

Southampton FC (aka the Saints) have been going through some hard times. The club is in desperate need of a buyer, or risks being shut down. They find one, but right before the final whistle it pulls out. Saints fans are distraught:

"OMG!!!!!! that officially says THIS IS IT!!!! Saints is FINISHED!!! I cant believe it! no one is buying saints its finished!!"

"Here i am led on my couch on my laptop, tears in my eyes knowing that i have seen my beloved saints for the last time..."

"BLUE SQUARE
YOU SAW ME CRYING ALONE
WITHOUT A DREAM IN MY HEART
WITHOUT A CLUB OF MY OWN"


Then, amidst the wailing and gnashing of teeth, someone raises their voice:

"Amazing how quickly the post-count on any Saints story rises. It's only a game, peoples"

( The crowd's not happy! )

I think what makes the whole thing amusing is that the comments are clearly being trolled, but nobody save TSF notices and so take it at face value. That and the sheer vitriol being hurled at anybody they think is to blame for SFC's troubles. Oh wank, you do show up in the strangest places.