Background: Ubuntu is a distribution of Linux. Think of it as a version of Linux like you have Windows XP, Vista, Me, 95, etc. Some people created Ubuntun Christian Edition, which annoyed some members of the Ubuntu community who didn't see why a special religious-based distribution was needed but it was mostly a polite argument. Then, in retaliation, Ubuntu Satanic Edition was created.

Cue wank.

Not from the Christians, though! The wank was all provided by a Satanist called HHS and another Satanist who called himself 'friend of HHS', both of whom popped up in the comments box and kept a running argument going with several different people until he randomly disppeared.

Most of it is under the cut, because it's long and takes place over years, but here are a few highlights to whet your appetite, both from him and people who were arguing with him.

HHS starts off with saying "This is very insulting to my religion. I really don’t think you should misuse the Lord’s name like that.

Richard M. Stallman, who is responsible for GNU and Linux, is a jewish psychopath who does not deserve to come near Hell. We do not want to be associated with him or anything made by this communist who never bathes and eats his own hair."

People get confused and think he's a Christian who's objecting to Linux SE. Cue HHS exploding and warning them "It’s very unclever to go against the Lord and dishonour Him and His people. When you die and meet Satan, just try calling Him “jesus boy” too and you’ll know what I’m talking about. I assume that you two are Jews because they call everyone Christian who aren’t Jews or Muslims."

( All hail LINUX -- I mean, Satan/Cthulhu/Flying Spaghetti Monster/God/Allah/[insert deity or pantheon of choice here!] )

Dearest, beloved, Fandom Wank.

I know you were looking forward to great excitement today. Some of you said words to me that indicated you anticipated fiery 'judgement' upon those who remained fresh and dewey white, those you call n00bs.

Anyway, you got today instead.

Stop anticipating things, we'll just break your hearts.

Sincerely,

Sepia P. Magpie, Esq.



PS: Use this post to reflect on how you could be better people. Or just fuck around in the comments.

THE SAGA CONTINUES.

When we last left our heroes, YTMND had myteriously disappeared one evening only to reappear the next evening with claims constant DdoSing from eBaum-goers.

But let's leave YTMND behind for now, shall we?

So in my other wank report, my link to ebaumsworld.com was actually a link to ebaumsworldsucks.com, a satire site with a flash by SomethingAwful goons "Trapezoid" (Neil Cicierega) and "Altf4". The site itself is owned by goon "Legalcondom".

Eric Bauman contacted Legalcondom today, asking to have his site removed or he will "take over the domain in 72 hours anyway". He not only wants the flash gone from that domain, but forwarded to ebaumsworld.com itself. Irony. Goons point and laugh as they are wont to do but also give sound legal advice and changes to the site are made. They ask for the chatlogs, but Legalcondom is hesitating.

Possibly because he is previously permabanned user "Azuretek" who used to be an employee of eBaum's.

Several lulz and pages later, Bauman comes into contact with Altf4 himself.

( Chat log with UTTER OWNAGE )

Yea verily. This is way too damn fun.

Edit: There is now an eBaum'sworldsucks LJ community as well!

What the christ is going on?!

So it's pretty common knowledge to everyone not in high school that Eric Bauman, creator and owner of eBaum's World, is a lying sack of shit who steals content and makes tons of money off it (literally millions). Wank's been hitting the fan with that site since day one with not only SomethingAwful, but Viacom and Sega corporations as well. Beyond the theft, Bauman's moderators once encoded JavaScript into every page of the site focused on DdoS'ing (sucking massive amounts of bandwidth) the SomethingAwful forums, which is holy-shit-illegal.

Last Saturday the denizens of YTMND.com discovered the theft of one of the more stupidpopular sites, "Lindsay Lohan Doesn't Change Facial Expressions".

They got a little mad.

A lot of stupid but oddly hpynotizing sites were created. Repeated attempts to contact Bauman fail, surprise surprise.

But meanwhile, on the ytmnd forums, trouble was a brewin'. DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.

Amazingly enough, considering how unorganized the forums are, users managed to form an alliance including not only over six hundred ytmnd forumgoers, but also SomethingAwful, 4chan, Newgrounds, Fark, and LUElinks.

At EST midnight, Monday morning, they united together to massively DdoS the eBaum's World servers, pinging and flooding and all that other technocrap that makes his forums go down for a good while, though it barely dented the main site's MASSIVE bandwidth.

Beyond even that, Bauman received hundreds of prank calls and two ytmnd forum members actually drove to the eBaum's physical headquarters and vandalized the place.

The next morning, even more stupid sites are created, some just plain retarded and some actually documenting the attack.

Max, the webmaster and founder of YTMND.com, realizing the illegality of the situation, repeatedly attempted to gain hold of his minions with little success.

Meanwhile, over in Hellon eBaum's World, they are PISSED. A bright, bold, ugly red link from the top page leads to an "explanation" of the attack.

"For the last 36-48 hours, ebaumsworld.com has been the victim of a global cyber-terrorism attack allegedly conducted by an alliance of webmasters and their followers who disagree with our company's editorial process." says they.

Yeah, okay, I'm sure all them obsessive World of Warcraft players are a real threat to society. Beyond the smell, I mean. That's so full of bullshit it's coming out their asses.

The next day, though, Max recieves an email from Neil Bauman, Eric's father and Vice President of the eBaum's World corporation.

( MY YIDDISH CUP (fear the grammar) )

A follow-up is sent before Max finally swoops down and releases previously unknown ownage. Give the man some image macros for his good work.

Best part: Dramatic reading of the emails!