Fandom Wank II -- Electric Bugaloo

fandomwank @ 2005-06-24T13:23:00

2005-06-24T18:24:22Z

I would just like to say WTF for minute. I was gone for ONE DAY. I can't figure out if this shit is a joke or not. It SEEMS like a joke, but...

*cries*

~*Ariel*~

Love won't keep us together!

2005-06-24T04:31:31Z

Ok at first I was caught up in the initial rush of fannish love that overtook our community. I felt as if I'd seen the light and I was ready to usher in a whole new era of joy, peace and harmony.

But now? No. I see that cesare and the other people on fandomwank were right.

Look, people! Look at what love has done to JF!

What have we learned? Fandom is not for love. Love will destroy fandom! Love will divide us, not bring us together!

Turn your backs on this fannish love, now. While you still can.

x-posted

fandomwank @ 2005-06-23T08:25:00

2005-06-23T13:27:30Z

I just came online and found this...giant daisy chain in MY COMM! What. The. Shit. Is. This.

fandom is wank

2005-06-23T09:22:38Z

Wanky lovefest on Fandom_~~Wank~~.

Everyone pretending to be all lovey-dovey there now? I bet they're all making locked hate posts behind each others' backs. Let me guess: it's okay when you do it in private, but when people say what they think in public, it's hateful. Whatever.

No love here.

My Chemical Romance slash icons request post wank? Say it ain't so!

2005-05-18T04:57:47Z

Because there's nothing like a slashy icon request post to bring on the overreactions.

It's quite small, it's quite frothy, and it's completely ridiculous.

chuck who?

2005-05-16T09:54:28Z

Via wank_report:

Someone posts a banner promoting a rating community on a Chuck Palahniuk fan comm. The Palahniuk fans don't like it. 117 comments later, the banner is removed, but the wank remains.

Sample...

Community member: "you should have had the common sense to realize that spamming a community would not be appreciated by the member of said community. Its not such a hard concept to grasp."

Rating banner poster: "see let me give you a piece of advice sweetie, if you dont smile at the world, chances are it wont smile back at you."

Other community member: "no one's smiling at you, either. scoot."

This wank provides equal-opportunity eyerolling. The ratings-community-advertiser is annoying, but some of the community members overreact like a maiden aunt spotting a mouse in her soup.

Strikes against it: I didn't see any Fight Club references. WTF, people!

oh, potter fans, we can always count on you

2005-05-14T23:42:55Z

The Weekly Reader, a magazine for elementary school kids, runs a feature on the Goblet of Fire movie, complete with a Daniel Radcliffe interview.

In the course of the interview, asked how he gets along with the other actors, Radcliffe says: "Me and Emma are like brother and sister. We don't have huge fights, but we do have altercations. Rupert I don't really know. I don't spend that much time with him."

Cue wank from distraught Harry Potter fans who fret about what Dan meant by that. And fret. And fret. And argue. And fret some more. (Note: due to the backasswards comment structure, start at the bottom and work your way up to get the full effect.)

Highlights include Emma Watson being slagged off as a "camera w---e" (gosh, can anyone figure out what that's supposed to mean? I'm puzzled) and accusations that the venerable Weekly Reader rehashed the Radcliffe interview from previous Radcliffe interviews with other publications ("Are we sure Rita Skeeter didn't write that article?")

"Is Mr. Radcliffe not yet contented with all the attention he's getting that he has to say one more very controversial thing which suggests that there's a rift between him & Rupert? I mean everybody already knows that he & Emma are so clingy with each other, so why still state the obvious and smack it into everyone's faces? Seems like he enjoys making Rupert feel left out, an outcast, a third wheel."

"Yikes, that was quite the nasty tone Daniel had in his comments regarding Rupert. I'm not quite sure how to take it, but my first inclination was to think that my impression of Daniel took a bit of a nose dive. My second thought was that regardless of his and Rupert's 'closeness', it certainly wasn't the brightest thing to say in a public forum and usually Dan seems so savy regarding these types of interviews. IMO, it comes across as snarky and more than a little nasty. I find myself rethinking my impression of him as a good kid. Aw well, that's 'Hollywood' for you. For all I'd like to believe that the kids are unaffected by their celebrity, it's possible that that is not the case at all. But stomping all over the shy quiet guy doesn't cut it in my books."

"I can't help but wonder if celebrity hasn't influenced a few of these actors more than we would like to admit. And hey, I'm not criticizing here since I think from a psychological standpoint, a change would not be surprising. The thing that bothers me is the crassness of the statement and the undertone of nastiness, not so much as what was said. Granted, people have different interests and as such cultivate different friendship bases. That being said, there was a hint of 'elitism' if you would in the way the statement was made. I've sensed this 'star entitlement' syndrome in EW ever since the POA interviews, but I truly thought DR was not going to fall into that category. I'm not saying this interview convinces me he has, but it does give me pause. That is all I am saying, but I will wait and see how the pre GOF press interviews come out before I change my previously good opinion of Daniel. I hope he has not changed so much that he feels the need to emphasize his and Emma's importance to the HP films and leave Rupert hanging in the wind like some dumb cluck."

"It is pretty clear from interviews & what not, that they are two very different in terms of personality and interests, so I never expected them to be best buddies. But there would have been so many other ways of answering that question that did not smack of the elitism that I, also, interpreted from the tone."

"That's really sad Dan, really sad indeed. I was always very proud of the chemistry of the WHOLE TRIO. Experience tells that everything off-set portrays on-screen. I can't believe is Dan speaking. Even if this was true, he wouldn't say it. However, and trying to find canon, I haven't seen any GoF (recent) interview with that question and a positive answer so far, coincidence? We definitely need to see more behind-the-scenes material. Yeah! Tana is right !! That sound horrible and discriminative."

Plus bonus mini-grammar wank! After one poster criticizes another's grammar, a third person defends the first with: "lol grammar. Really... i mean, i understood Pat's point fine lol and pretty good one two. This isn't a english exam lol."

You people make me want to kill myself!

2004-08-08T23:11:27Z

Sent to me by a friend who does not have a JournalFen account. It's long and a little old, but it's good.

Ding, Ding, Ding - the winner hands down….Batshit crazy

For over two years a slightly insane woman in multiple fandoms has been plaguing the Yahoo Groups boards with her sockpuppets and fake suicide notes. I am surprised no one has mentioned her here before.

Her name is Gloria and she's in Hawaii Five-O, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, Combat and Dark Shadows (maybe more) fandoms. At last count she has over 100 socks and they all talk in defense of her. And if they aren't defending her they are sending out death threats. They regularly get her tossed off of Yahoo for TOS violations. (Of course she claims she's being stalked and that's why she had to close those accounts down - although 4 years later she sings a different tune and claims she had surgery and the accounts were stagnate and that's why she lost them to YahHell). But we know where the original post is: http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheIslanders/message/770

If someone talks badly about Gloria or catches one of her socks (by doing an IP trace), then Gloria's "husband," Russell, will get online and threaten everyone to leave his wife alone, as she's a "sick" woman. And if it's not Russell, then one of Gloria's "close, personal friends" will pop into the list and post or attack her critics.

In his latest post (Rus has been banned from Yahoo a few times himself for threats), he threatened people with legal action--apparently Russell believes that tracing IPs is ILLEGAL! The FBI will come to your house and arrest you if you do so! http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheOldHouse/message/1670

The Old House has OPEN archive, so go and read all the posts, but here are the highlights:

"I just popped in to let those people who have been terrorising my
wife, invading her groups and contacting others off list and
spreading rumours about her. I won't stand still for it. Not now. Not
ever. With the help of AOL's security team, we are in the process of
bringing charges against the hackers and identity theives that have
gained illegal access to her ISP numbers. Maybe you did know this,
but just looking at those numbers is a Federal Offence. Yahoo is
breaking Federal laws by including those numbers on posts and e-mails.

If you use them to trace her to her ISP, then you are considered a
hacker, and a potential threat to her life. The FBI will not take
this matter lightly. Best of all, AOL does the prosecuting for us.
All we have to do is provide screen names. And we 've got plenty of
screen names!"

I can't keep my socks straight!!

Gloria has been booted so many times from so many lists under so many socks she cannot even remember what list she's posting to! See here: http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheOldHouse/message/1682

She thinks she's posting to a Hawaii Five-O board, when actually she's on the Dark Shadows board! Apparently she founded TheIslanders and TheOldHouse lists, but after she got booted those Yahoo accounts were no longer available to her, so these lists are completely unmoderated and a free-for-all. But, still almost weekly Gloria insists she is the MODERATOR of these lists and demands respect from HER members and you must listen to her!

And the Rod guy she's talking to in that post is the person she threatened to kill a few years ago with a gun. She got tossed for that and later deleted the post, but it is cut and pasted in the victim's next post: http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheOldHouse/message/756

Scroll to bottom to read Gloria's threat of, "Just because you were born with male genitalia DOES NOT make you men. A MAN, doesn't spew filth from his mouth every ten seconds! Women can do anything men can do, and THIS woman isn't afraid of any horse's backside like you! Come and visit me sometime. I have a nice Glock 9 mm automatic in my nightstand drawer. I'd love to blow your face and your head all over my bedroom wall! You DO NOT OWN THIS LIST, either moron. Just give it up."

Here she confesses to some of her socks, but not all of them. BTW, it seems her whole family was posting on these lists in her defense! http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheIslanders/message/1191

Her reasoning when being "caught" and her socks outed for what they were -- phoney ID's. http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheIslanders/message/1296

Alas, in the end, Gloria repents her ways and promises to be good, here:

http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheIslanders/message/1406

It doesn't last long and she's back to her old tricks.

When you've been asking yourself, where a good fake Internet suicide when you need one? Here it is!

In reality, Gloria is most famous for her phoney suicide notes that have sent the police to house not once but TWICE! The first one, the police showed up and nothing was done. Here: http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheIslanders/message/1266 Gloria laughs at how funny it is to make phoney suicide threats and involve the police!

The second attempt, months later, she threatened to starve herself to death and her "sister-in-law" posted about it: http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheIslanders/message/1267

Only a few days later, Gloria writes out her own suicide note! (Goodbye cruel world!)

http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheIslanders/message/1972 http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheIslanders/message/1979 (notice this is from another sock address)

http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheIslanders/message/1987

The police were sent, like the first time, but when they arrived, Gloria told them that it was a "joke."

The good bits: " I've decided it's time to end this miserable existance. No pills, no knives or razor blades, no guns...I haven't even got the guts to jump off a bridge, so I just refuse to eat. I've lost 20 pounds since the beginning of July. I'm not very heavy, so I'm hoping this won't go on too long. Perhaps, if I had the friendship of my daughters I might be able to continue, but I know that's impossible. They know my moods, and they know that I never meant a word of what I said, during that last and final argument, but they refuse to forgive me. I'm truly sorry for all that's happened. Please believe that. I love you both and I always will. As for everyone else, I apologize for any trouble I've caused you. My mind was screwed up, and I wasn't responsible for what I did. It was my illness talking, and not me. That's all I have to say.
Good-bye.
God bless you, and watch over you, Shawna and Melissa. (her daughters)
There's no need to respond. I'm leaving this group as soon as I've posted this."

But like most Internet suicides, she didn't kill herself and TWO YEARS later she's still alive and posting to this list under her multiple socks!

I think Victoria & Crystal both have reason to fear that Gloria may overtake them in the future for craziest person in fandom award.

It's ALIVE!

2004-06-23T23:55:40Z

IT LIVES! Fandom Wank Lives!

Three cheers for the JF admins!

SV is always up for a wank.

2004-06-23T22:38:14Z

I have no idea if any of this got posted in the last day or two on the late Fandom_Wank, but I thought I'd bring it old skool with a Smallville wank.

You all are familiar, of course with the fanfic_hate community on LJ. SV is the current target and naturally ye olde SV BNFs are evil chestnut reared its ugly head because three seasons of this topic never gets old.

As a result, an SV BNF throws BNF Pity Party.

Weep, weep. It's so hard being famous on LiveJournal!!

Trouble in the Voyager fandom: VBA gets GAFFed.

2004-06-23T21:03:58Z

Someone's gone and posted an entire NC-17 rated Star Trek Voyager fanfic contest to GAFF. Bet that'll generate some wank. As one of the authors entered in said contest, and mocked in the thread, I'm experimenting with outrage.

Here's the GAFF:

http://www.godawful.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=2044

Here's the contest:

http://www.geocities.com/voyagerbluealert/readnew.html

Maybe it's a little wanky of me to be the one to post this, since I'm one of the injured parties, but it's bound to get entertaining, and I took a sacred oath to entertain the masses whenever an opportunity presented.

Enjoy!

Keep on trucking.

2004-06-23T18:51:03Z

My first wank in the new place. ~~Don't~~ Be gentle. ~~Be as rough as you can. I LIKE IT THAT WAY.~~

Here's some RPG wank, from the Traveller Mailing List.

Some background: In 1977, the first edition of Traveller was produced. Since then, there's been a number of revisions, rewrites, changes to the canon, and out-and-out systems changes -- the updated MegaTraveller (MT), The New Era (TNE), a port to GURPS (GT), a d20 version (T20), and then the "4th Edition" (T4) by Traveller's original writer. Each system has its proponents, devotees, and obsessive fans. Each edition tweaked the canon, changed the timeline, what have you -- CT started with a galaxy spanning Empire, MT started a civil war, TNE ended the civil war and brought on a dark age, GT was an AU where the MT civil war never happened, T20 has settings for either after the dark age of TNE or before the civil war; and T4 happens in the early years of the Imperium. Each timeline has its proponents. Some even cross systems, using one system with another timeline. There's plenty of stuff left for individual referees to develop, and left mostly unwritten.

All told, Traveller is a very, very fertile ground for wank.

This particular wank starts when Loren Wiseman, the Line Editor for GURPS Traveller, announces that his new supplement about the nobility is out.

A chap who goes by the handle of Communique asks if GT will ever print other rules systems in their books.

People suggest that conversion isn't that hard.

The wank doesn't start yet; it builds. Someone says that converting isn't all that hard. Communique disagrees.

Now the wank starts. Doug Berry, one of the writers for GT, lets fly: Folks, this sort of thing is about to drive me away from the TML. I am so sick of hearing stuff like this.. people who demand perfection, but don't
want to do one iota of work themselves.

Harma gets one of the better lines in the debate: A company that has spent thousands upon thousands of dollars, hundreds (if not thousands) of man-hours developing their own RPG system over the course of almost two decades must feel obligated to port all of their supplements to an antiquated RPG for which they receive no royalties? [Yoda]Sound business logic this is not.[/Yoda], followed up with This is math. It's not hard... but he loses points for a huffy, "I'll ignore what you have to say la la la" closing.

Doug Berry advises Communique that "people are beginning to dislike you."

Harma says the man has no creativity; Kelly chimes in and uses Latin!

Communique defends himself by self-quoting and bragging about how much stuff he owns.

In weighs Richard Aiken, veteran of many, many, many flamewars (if there's time, I can relate the epic "How the Navy Works" wanks between he and a chap named Hans). He asks if Communique really is that lazy?.

Communique's defense involves a List of Ten Questions he answers, and he warns that this could turn into a flamewar... Richard Aiken tells him that it's too late...

I expect the wank to grow, and grow. If it does... here's where to follow it!

fandomwank @ 2004-06-23T13:27:00

2004-06-23T18:46:39Z

In the comic Something Positive, one of the characters was pregnant, but apparently lost the baby. The creator didn't state this verbatim, but hinted at it in several strips.

Evidently a lot people then go over to the som_pos to ask "OMG what happened to her baby?" Members get pissed at all the repetition, and the mod makes a smack down post. Accusations of elitism ensue.

Have another package of peanuts and bear with us

2004-06-23T18:04:39Z

It's late and I've been barely keeping my head above the splooge here. I'm getting some help with the comm but it'll be a while before it looks all sparkly and ~~Like a Being of Myth~~ minty fresh again.

Hang in there and please bring the wank.

*provides complimentary moist towelettes*

Bradbury/Moore wank update

2004-06-23T17:32:27Z

I know that BBC just got us all with that three-headed frog thing, but I still trust them more than WingnutDaily, and they're reporting the Bradbury/Moore kerfuffle as true.

Bradbury said he would rather avoid litigation and is "hoping to settle this as two gentlemen, if he'll shake hands with me and give me back my book and title".

I'm sure he rather would avoid litigation, since he'd have to get the omg intarnet lawyer.

(Notice how bravely I'm acting as though everything's fine, although Everything's Changed.)

fandomwank @ 2004-06-23T11:12:00

2004-06-23T16:12:31Z

So, how's everybody today?

ETA: I suppose I should make this post official and put some content here.

So, OTF_Wank made the startling announcement that our own, dear Fandom_Wank had gone POOF! here...

http://www.journalfen.net/community/otf_wank/114817.html?nc=79

...and FW mod, HNK's, WTF? post is here...

http://www.journalfen.net/users/hugsnkisses/6785.html?nc=42

...and Zorrorojo's Claiming of the Wank is here...

http://www.journalfen.net/users/zorrorojo/46465.html?nc=37

...and the rumors of hackers, bad jokes, and pissy mods began to fly. The result being this lovely new community. As of this update, it looks like there was no hacker, just a fit-pitchin' mod. Who, I don't know. Why, I don't know. (I suck.) So stay-tuned, True Believers! Same Wank time! Different Wank channel!

Son of ETA: Yoinked this from Pirotess (danke!) Here's Brad's (the sockpuppet that served as a front for all the FW mods) goodbye whinge that was left before FW disappeared.

MOD ACCOUNT
This is a post made from the FW Mod Account.

We are all fucking SICK of your whining. The trolling, the inter-community wanking.
This is NOT a place for wankers, don't you people get this? If you want to wank, get the shit away from here.

As for that "people who are new are kool omg, we dun no nuthin!!!" what is up with you? Since when is it cool to be clueless? Seriously, FUCK OFF.

Exactly the same goes to the "oldbies", you know, when EVERYONE'S accusing you of being elitist, maybe there's some truth there huh? If you can't laugh, fuck off.

And okay, wtf is up with all these new comms? Yeah, okay a place to bring nonfandom wank, okay? But the rest? Does anyone fucking care? You can't solve life's problems by making a new comm, well, maybe taking away an old one will work.

Seriously, we are so tired of you wankers. And yeah, we're angry. This is IT. This thing is gonna BURN to the GROUND. Congratulations, you did it.

YAYYY! We did it, ya'll!

Editspawn: Lies! All lies 'n deceit! I don't know what to believe anymore. *Kills self*