Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Bettime Stories for Little Wankers' LiveJournal:

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Saturday, November 29th, 2008
12:19 pm [arionhunter]	Partially inspired by recent Twilight wanks, a Vampire Author OT3 AU. Title: Dazzled By Love Fandom: (In)Famous Vampire Authors Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 748 “Well, would I retain my virginity if it was psychic?” (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 16th, 2007
11:14 pm [ashenmote]	The Nanny Filks The Theme Song for The Nanny (Original composed and performed by Ann Hampton Callaway) filked by nyoda, here. She was working(and not fighting with the Tower Queens) When a cruel impersonator caused some crushing scenes. Everyone deceived; only she believed in the stalker uncanny... So over the Net from her house to the HP door, Where she screamed about stalkers to her friends galore. She still swears 'bout au pairs; no one cares The guilty girl's the Nanny! Who would have guessed that the girl we've described, Was once notoriously known as MsScribe? Oh, her friends found her bemusing (watch out, CC!). And Fandom Wank amusing (where can that bra be?). Ms'll only reveal your secrets to two or three souls; It's all about the Nanny!...or so says the troll! and by attilathebun, here. Msscribe was all alone at home, lots of lonely nights, 'Til she opened up the internet and started picking fights. What was she to do? Who could she annoy? She needed the funny... But then people started to catch on to her cunning plan. She needed a new patsy so she picked one and ran. She had style! She had flair! She wasn't there. That's how she became the Nanny! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 12th, 2007
7:01 pm [elgato_gamgins]	I was Inspired! With all of the House!wank going on...I wrote a fic. It's very AU and House, Wilson and Cuddy know about Fandom_Wank. Enjoy. ( Read more... ) (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 27th, 2007
2:35 pm [makeshyft]	Oh gods.. I've filked again.. Last time I took to modifying music. I turned "The Jimmy Olsen Blues" into a Ron Weasly lament over a certain Granger. Now.. well.. this speaks for itself. In The Garden of Fandom With apologies to Don Henley It was pretty big year for 'shipping a lousy year for sane discorse The people gave their blessing to crimes of fanfic It was a dark, dark night on a beaded horse and I was somewhere out on Journalfen, by the F_W Hotel When a stranger appeared in a cloud of smoke I thought I knew him all too well He said now that I have your attention I got something I wanna say You may not wanna hear it, I'm gonna tell it to you anyway You know I've always liked you boy Cause you were not afraid of me Things are gonna get mighty rough here in the comm, take it from me He said it's just like home It's so damn hot I can't stand it My fine sockpuppet is all soaking wet And the flamers are burning and the BS is raging and the clock strikes midnight in the Garden of Fandom In the Garden of Fandom Nice 'Ship I love those Harmonians so rediculous Y'know I remember a time when things were a lot more fun around here When Snarry was good and Wincest was evil Before things got so fuzzy I was once a golden boy like you And I was summoned to the Comms of power in the Livejournal courts And I babbled with the BNFs who looked upon me with favor, for my talents, my creativity and we sat beneath the palms in the warm afternoons and bitched and whined With Crystal and Ginmar and they pwned the bitchy netspeak with tongues hot with blood and banged their fingers on sweaty keyboards Vainly reaching for the notoriety of empty praises Branded especially for the ones who had come with great expectations to the batshit halls of Fandom, for their time in the sun And we were strokin' our egos and "whip-roundin'" for new laptops Until the mods found out we had ideas of our own And flamewar was coming and the Astral was shaking and there was no more room in the Garden of Fandom Today I made an appearance online I am an expert reviewer because I say I am And I said writers, and I use that word loosely I will praise for you, I'm a gun for hire, I'm a furry, I'm a liar Because there are no facts, there is no truth Just fans to be manipulated I can get you any rating you like What's it worth to you? Because there is no wrong, there is no right And I wank very well at night No shame, no solution, no remorse, no restitution Just people writing fanfics Just opportunity to participate in the pathetic little circus and wanking, wanking, wanking It was pretty big year for otakin BRPS was on a roll and the web of opportunity spawned a whole new breed of fans without souls This year notoriety got all confused with fame and the devil is downhearted babe, cause there's nothing left for him to claim He said it's just like home It's so low-down I can't stand it I guess my work around here has all been done And the BPALS smell rotten, Usagi's's eyes shine as she wraps around the Sprite bottle, in the Garden of Fandom in the Garden of Fandom in the Garden of Fandom Current Mood: Goofy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 28th, 2006
4:50 pm [misakichi]	Copy-Pasta of Ultimate Wank-Off I got the notion, during one of the more recent wanks, to do a filk. While the rhyming's a bit off at times (it's hard to rhyme with Ginmar or FAP), it's still pretty fun to sing along too. I'm sorry for lack of cut, but I'm not sure how to make a cut in JF-journals. ^^;; ( angels sang out in immaculate odes/down from the heavens descended Usagi Kou ) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 23rd, 2005
4:36 am [altoidsaddict]	Presence requested in fw_fairytales. I am, however, cutting it for the sake of friends' pages, since it's already been on fandom_lounge. And I still ain't sorry. ( With apologies to the dude who wrote the original, who wasn't Moore anyway. Moore was a plagiarist. Discuss/wank. ) ETA: Comments now disabled due to literally hundreds of porn spam messages.
Thursday, June 23rd, 2005
10:13 pm [elfy]	because msmanna's story is love. from here ( Robert the Bruce and the Spider ) (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 26th, 2005
9:20 pm [sarajayechan]	Inspired by all the kerfluffle ever had about fanfiction ( Don't ask. ) Don't take it seriously even if there are a few elements of truth in it. :P Current Mood: E-V-O-L Current Music: The TV (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
2:59 pm [oulangi]	A Fandom_wank spin off community fairy tale, in response to Ms. A, who apparently labors under the notion that such a meritocratic revolution would make her socially tollerable: ( by oulangi and ereshkigal  ) Current Mood: good (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 14th, 2005
10:51 pm [somnambulicious]	The Ball of Fandom_Wank (Sung to the tune of "The Ball of Kerrymuir".) Four and twenty n00bies came o'er for CrystalWank, And when the wank was over, the JF servers sank. Singin' your balls to your keyboard, your arse against the wall, If ya never been wanked o'er at fandom_wank, ya never been wanked at all. There was wankin' in the LJs, there was wankin' in the GAFF, And ya still could hear the whinin' o'er the mockin' and the laughs. Singin' your balls to your keyboard, your arse against the wall, If ya never been wanked o'er at fandom_wank, ya never been wanked at all. Teh 3bil Cabal, they were there, like spooky 1337ist ghosts. I'd tell ya more, but I'm afraid they edited this post. Singin' your balls to your keyboard, your arse against the wall, If ya never been wanked o'er at fandom_wank, ya never been wanked at all. Ol' wankprophet, he was there; I think he pwnd thorn_star. I cannae be certain, for I'm 'fraid it was tl;dr. Singin' your balls to your keyboard, your arse against the wall, If ya never been wanked o'er at fandom_wank, ya never been wanked at all. backfromspace, he was there; he wasn't up to much; He lined the ladies against the wall and did 'em with his banhammer crutch. Singin' your balls to your keyboard, your arse against the wall, If ya never been wanked o'er at fandom_wank, ya never been wanked at all. Fanfic_rants did bring the wank, through rain and snow and sleet. We tune in there to find out the wank flavor of the week. Singin' your balls to your keyboard, your arse against the wall, If ya never been wanked o'er at fandom_wank, ya never been wanked at all. I'd write more, but the Crazy Muse is passed out in the hallway. It's a folksong-type thing, so further verses are appreciated. Compose! Contribute! And I'll show you my 1337 rack! Current Mood: Impish Current Music: Al Hirt - "Green Hornet Theme" (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 9th, 2005
9:11 pm [ashenmote]	( explanatory note ) Once upon a time there were a group of people who like to butter their toast on the wrong side. Now they knew that most people up and down the street found this to be perverse, so they only buttered their bread the wrong side up in their own house. Nevertheless, the neighbors complained. “Far be it from us to judge you, but our children can see into your kitchen window!” “Even with our curtains drawn?” asked the butter toasters. “Well, the material is rather flimsy,” replied the neighbors. “Horrors. Okay. Well, could you please ask your children not to look in our window?” asked the butter toasters. “Hey, they may be our kids but you are the ones having toasting parties,” insisted the neighbors. “Okay, we'll put heavy shades on our windows,” said the butter toasters. “We certainly don't want the children to be harmed.” For a while all was calm until one day the neighbors returned. “What now!” cried the butter toasters. “Are your children watching us some other way?” “Well, no. It's just that there are other butter toasters out there and they don't have heavy shades on their windows so we wanted you to go over and get them to put up shades,” said the neighbors. “We don't know them. We've never met,” said the butter toasters. “Well, you all put butter on your toast the wrong way,” said the neighbors. “No, actually, some use margarine. Some use oleo and some put on peanut ….” Said the butter toasters. The neighbors threw their hands up in despair. “Stop. The horror. We can't hear anymore perversity. Just get the others to put heavy shades on their windows.” “How? We don't know them. We just know the members of our little club. And why would they listen to us?” asked the butter toasters. “Besides we have so much toast to butter. Yumm. Buttered Toast.” The neighbors were angry. They didn't understand why anyone would butter their toast the wrong way. They didn't want to have to go up and down the street making sure that the other butter toasters had their shades drawn. The butter toasters were angry because they felt they had put shades up on the windows but were still being held responsible for the actions of strangers. And the children never did learn it was rude to look into other people's windows. A little Mouse Current Mood: groggy (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 7th, 2005
12:48 pm [sewingmyfish]	From the Sin City wank ...every feminazi deserves a feminiemoller, thus: When they praised the style and technique, I threw a hissy because the misogyny mattered more. When they tried to talk about the strong female characters, I threw a hissy because I knew that having women and men in the same film was misogynist. When they asked what I expected from something called “Sin City,” I threw a hissy because that still doesn't excuse the misogynistic portrayal of all the women as half-dressed hookers. When they pointed out that it was violent against men too, I threw a hissy because it was trying to distract people from the misogyny. Then I tried to post my hissy on LiveJournal, And I got banned for having a different opinion than the mod, And by that time there was no one Left who wasn’t sick of my whiny crap. From Also_not_a_pipe (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
10:14 pm [oulangi]	Some back story here - for those of you who didn't know, fandom_wank's infamous troll phoenix sponsered a goat as part of an OXfam program. He named it after me. My fandom_wank fairy tale, found here - ( Peace of Earth and good wank to Man ) (17 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
7:34 pm [pyratejenni]	A Song from the Bottom of My Heart Once upon a time, there was a wee little girl on fandom_wank. And one day, she saw a post about another girl who was very, very, VERY upset that the wee little girl and some of her Internet friends liked to giggle at silly stories. The wee little girl decided to be nice and try to explain to the very upset little girl why giggling at silly stories was so much fun. So she thought, and thought, and while thinking she opened the jukebox on her magical posting machine. And she found a song that would do just that! After the Filking Fairy sprinkled her with pixie dust, that is. ( When You're Evil ) Current Mood: accomplished (3 Comments |Comment on this)
5:09 pm [msmanna]	The Book Of Fanfic And Teh Word was revealed, and writ down in...( The Book Of Fanfic ) Current Mood: Holier-than-thou (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 31st, 2004
4:23 pm [sarajayechan]	*clears throat* A little song parody I came up with a few months ago...song parodies/filk count as fairytales, right? Amy Player, Cassie Claire, Colorbars sans pubic hair, MY HED IS PASTEDE ON YAY! Is so and so straight or gay? Yaoi hunters, Sugarqill, Sues claiming they were ill. DomLijah, Sirius Black, "Now he dead from coke"! We didn't start the wanking! It was always burning since the net's been turning! We didn't start the wanking! We didn't ignite it but we didn't fight it! Millyfan, Neopets, Gaia-online, fanficrants. Politics, mock_the_stupid Customers_Suck! Akito Sohma revealed "his" dirty secret- Rabid fangirls everywhere cried and screamed "WHATTHEFUCK?!" We didn't start the wanking! It was always burning since the net's been turning! We didn't start the wanking! We didn't ignite it but we didn't fight it! X, CLAMP, Digimon, Star Wars, Pokemon. Star-stalking, pairing wars. How do fans stand it anymore?! (Unfinished as of yet...feel free to chime in!) Current Mood: *sporfle!* Current Music: The TV (18 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 20th, 2004
12:21 am [littlebitca]	I'm Dreaming of a Wank Christmas Filk Contest? First we have wankprophet's Tinhat Carol which has been answered now with two submissions of great f_w Christmas filking by leto: Wankprophet Baby and Jingle Bells aka Dashing Through The Splooge. Dueling Christmas song filk has begun! Anyone else want to play? Current Mood: Snoopy-Dancing Current Music: The Tinhat Carol (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 19th, 2004
5:38 pm [crickets]	Filk caroling! From wankprophet, who is apparently feeling very jolly these days: ( A Tinhat Carol ) Current Mood: Candy-Coated (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
2:45 pm [darkwitch666]	i just got robbed. anybody got a spare laptop, or an iPod, or any expensive portable electronics? I once heard a tale oh so sad That no proper words then I had Some robbers, you see, Took Cassie's PC, And boy did her fangirls get mad. Now lest you think this NBD, I'll explain so you too can see: Those fangirls did get All over the net And raised funds for a new PC The problem, as I'm telling you, Is not so much that this they did do It's more that this debt It threatened the net The traffic increased, and it grew So bandwidth and time and money These fangirls did waste, don't you see? All 'bout a laptop (Now in a chop-shop) That had no insurance pol'cy. So here's the lesson of this tale, Before the whole damned thing gets stale: You'd better insure, I'm telling you, or Replacing your stuff you will fail. So learn from our own Cassie Claire, Whose fans have sent money to share, If BNF you're I'm totally sure You'll end up with laptops to spare. Current Mood: *sporfle!* Current Music: King Missile: Detachable Penis (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
4:51 am [ashenmote]	Aricendil made a minor edit and added cut tag A nameless bard [The Mouse With No Name] sings us a sad ballad to the old tune of Earendil in the Vampire queen versus Amazon wank, here. Sorry, Tolkien... ... but for some reason Anne Rice + Gil-Galad = Earendil tonight. Anne Rice needs no editor Of her the Wankers sadly sing The one whose words are large and posh Whose sentences are frightening. ( She wrote a world of vampires gay... ) (5 Comments |Comment on this)