Real life HP offline fandom wank, my life sucks
Um, Hi. This is my first post and I just joined, so be gentle.
This HP real life wank happened a week or so ago, Aurora was amused by it, so screw it, I'll post it:
I'll just copy and paste from my LJ entry:
April 26, 2004
Real life f'n HP Fandom Wank(A day at Barnes and Noble)
Tonight was one of the most embarrassing/funniest moments of my HP life.(which is why I made it public, so my other FA people could see the entry).
Long story short, a local news station is doing a "Summer 2004" movie segment on t.v this week. Spiderman, Troy, and of course, Harry Potter.
So Barnes and Noble bookstore decides to get some press and have a little "HP reading" and talk with kids 9-14, on how much they LUV Harry Potter, how they can't wait to see the PoA movie, etc. You get the deal.
They moved the date of this little shin-dig to today. I have a friend who works there, so of course, you know I went.
About 50 kids had to be picked to come in the store, they turned away at least 100 kids(and pissed off parents).
Lot of HP talk, but here is the interesting thing with the kids(35 girls, 15 boys). Involving shipping.
*insert teen talk here*
1. The new "in" HP ship, is Harry/Luna. Luna is like "so cool" and she represents every "screwed up kid trying to fit in with the world." and "Luna is like, the new Lizzie McGuire!"
2. Tom/Daniel/ and Rupert are like OMG! SO HOT!(repeat this 1,000 times).
3. All the boys want to snog Emma Watson.
4. The H/L people were former H/Hr or H/G fans, but now it's all about H/L. R/Hr was still "really cool" with a lot of the kids. But Neville/Ginny or Neville/Hermione was like "way cool" as well. (Basically, the Fantastic Six all hooking up in some way.)
5. J.K. is like "so not cool" for killing Sirius, why didn't she kill Hagrid? Or like, omg, why not that BITCH Umbridge?(A 13 year old said this and was quickly shushed by her mom, ha!).
6. What the hell is going on with Snape? Alan Rickman is like "so cool!" Lily and James are ok, but get on with the story J.K.! *flip hair here*
7. The new guy playing Lupin is SO not Lupin.
8. Sirius is like SO HOT! He's like, such a rebel! *roll eyes here*
*end of teen talk*
So after the segment was recorded and it was a wrap, parents of the kids started to talk and shake hands(cookies and punch was served, so the kids were like all talking and "OMG! Give me your cell phone number!" 9-14 year olds having cell phones? WTF?)
So my new friend Jimmy(previous entry on Galadriel) comes with me. He's read the HP books as well.
Well a H/Hr Dad(he doesn't know he ships it, but I'll call him that anyway). Is telling Jimmy about how he thinks Ron is going to die, and Harry/Hermione are going to get together in the end.
A small *snort* from Jimmy.
Jimmy goes on to explain to the man that it's OBVIOUS that J.K. has Harry on a Christ-like path. So since Harry is "Jesus", he's going to die in the end to atone for the poor souls of the Wizard(and muggle) world.
The H/Hr dad tells Jimmy that's the dumbest thing he's ever heard.
Cue the Wank!
Jimmy tells the man that he must not be a Christian if he doesn't see the parallel in both stories. The man is offended and tells Jimmy that Harry is the hero of the story, and J.K. wouldn't do that to little kids.
Jimmy laughs and says "Harry is no hero. He was unwillingly picked(or scared if you will) for the path that he's on. So if you want to say that he's a hero because of a burden, go ahead, but if he didn't have that scar, he wouldn't give a shit about Voldemort."
*Me(in my head): Oh shit!*
Another parent hears the "debate" and comes over to argue that some of the other nonimportant characters are going to die, not darling!Harry.
Another mom joins in and says that the H/Hr woman is wrong, Harry is going to fail in the end, because he's already rejected himself and his destiny(She's talking about the Dumbledore/Harry chapter at the end).
Just as I see a Barnes and Noble worker coming towards us, I FINALLY open my mouth to calm everyone down. The H/hr Dad looks at me and says "SO WHAT'S YOUR BEEF?!?!
I told the man that my only beef was his ugly comb over. *hangs head*.
I couldn't help it, I was trying to be NICE for goodness sake. Don't get rude with ME when your hair looks like Donald Trump. *hmph*
He gives me a "fuck you" look and all the parents begin talking at once, slowly going to a high pitched frenzy that only freaking dogs could hear.
Ron and his common family add NOTHING to the story, Hermione is a bitch and she doesn't even have her period yet(I couldn't believe a MOM said that!), J.K. better not let anymore people die in the books (THAT'S tellin her! *snap snap snap*).
All kinds of shit being said, it was crazy you guys! *shakes my head*
I walk over to the punch table while my friend Jimmy and his new "Harry is a fuck up!" Posse was against the H/Hr's and "We love Harry so don't say anything bad about him you bastards!" Brigade.
I look at the kids(who are all mortified) and one girl turns back to some other girls and says "Um, so back to Tom Felton...."
I laughed until I had tears in my eyes.
All of this happened in a span of 5 minutes.
Finally, the Barnes and Noble people ended "The Great Debate", we were all shooed out, and the local news station promised the store to not show the "interesting footage".
My life. I can't even MAKE this shit up.
still in shock!