Gaia Wank

gaia_wank @ 2005-12-03T20:18:00

2005-12-04T04:21:22Z

But this amused me.

ONOES BAHLEETED

Here's hoping for a nice fresh wanky post bitching about this one.

[edit] Also, for those of you who may have gotten blinded by my code error, dammit, sorry about that.

Economy Wank!

2004-11-03T20:31:20Z

This last weekend Gambino hosted the Halloween 2K4 Bash. Unfortunately, it turned into a server-crushing explosion of Resident Evil style doom and caused a massive economic spike in its wake.

HOMGWTF these brand-new items are equal to MINIS or higher!
No way, the G Corp items are FUGLY!
SUPPLY + DEMAND = MORE CORRECTER THAN YOU!
Blah blah they are still ugly. Don't insult halos!

Watch the Exchange patrons totally freak out over a couple bloody labcoats.

gaia_wank @ 2004-10-26T20:15:00

2004-10-27T00:25:42Z

It seems this community's been idle for a bit, but I just had to post this.

As those who frequent Gaia are no doubt already aware, Gaia has introduced its Avatar System 2.0. This means that you can choose slightly different hand positions for your character. Many people are thrilled about this.

Viral Mutation is not, and posts saying "the poses just killed gaia i have nothing other to say."

The part about having nothing else to say, of course, is not true, and others jump in to agree, which is shocking. (And disagree, but that's not shocking.) It is suggested that Gaia will be a more racist place if weapons are added, and that people will try to recreate the Iraq war. Also that Inuyasha fans will flood the forums. (Uhm, has this person actually looked at the forums lately?) Another person makes a brilliant suggestion that I'm sure no one else has thought of before - adding a casino. *palms forehead*

Betting pool, anyone?

2004-09-25T02:36:19Z

Gaia now has Gaia Journals. How long until the wanks starts, do you think?

Someone needs the stick removed from their behind..

2004-08-19T15:32:14Z

It's a typical day on the Q&F. Someone posts a typical newbie question...How do you become an admin?
Normal question, should have the standard answer and be done with it, right? Wrong!

Gash-Jackel makes a joke that basically says, 'give me all your stuff and i'll tell you!' (it has since been deleted by a mod). Everyone gets the joke except Sephirothgal, who reports him for scamming. Gash-Jackel informs her it was a joke, as well as pretty much everyone else on the thread. Sephirothgal still won't listen. Things go downhill from there.

Statements made about people who fall for scams deserve it. Penis waving. Mod intervention. People badly in need of a sense of humor. Small but hey, we needed something!

And I was joking about banning him.

2004-06-23T06:08:33Z

Kalec pulls a veris. The best part: We know what he looks like in peasant's clothing. XD

Seriously, though, it's a spoogefest for the ages.

I hereby submit my entire forum.

2004-06-20T13:20:14Z

New layout change.

Also, gaia_online. (On LJ, kids.)

[edit] I forgot to upload my favorite nugget until now:

Click here, and go in numerical order. You will not be disappointed.

The new look.

2004-06-20T09:38:04Z

Countdown to wank in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Not really wank...

2004-06-13T15:56:45Z

...just something to boggle over.

She really can't be that stupid...can she?

My loathing for petitions has reached an all new height.

2004-05-31T00:35:59Z

Some random GD flamer bitches about how his pussy hurts because it's against the rules to flame. He then suggests people who should be mods...including The 5th Horseman. (Children, proceed to laugh. Endlessly.)

Near the middle, boombanda's integrity is called into question. And then...she moves it to Q&F.

Drama ensues.

God.

Mmm...art wank.

2004-05-29T19:51:43Z

Someone has rage because their thread was moved to the appropriate section. This seems to have something to do with their avant garde method of doing requests for avatar art. Because they're so avant garde, they deserve to be exempt from the rules and should get special treatment by the mods. OF course, when basically baby sitting a thousand and one squealing children, the mods are really going to single them and their extra-special thread out. And because throwing a hissy fit will really get this fixed.

Ze thread

My favorite non-sequiter from the thread:

"WEAK. Weak sauce. I have tasted the sauce... AND IT'S WEAK.

...

weak."

Mmm...random-tastic!

From the 'wtf' files...

2004-05-27T22:04:56Z

So, today in Q&F Aeona posts to ask why her buddy LoneMaverick was banned for 2 weeks.

People post "penis" and "shaddup" in my threads.
A girl PMed me menacing me and screaming at me cause I answered her boyfriend's slave thread.
I try to be a sincere friend and the people mock my trust. Someone lied to me about a girlfriend and boyfriend commiting suicide.

If he lost his nerves and kick the ass of some of them, I think he's perfectly right. My true nature -I hate to admit- is to be a very good person. But it's ofen the only way to deal with those people who respect nothing. To have their disrespect returned is all they deserve. Mav is among the really rare person in here who calmed down my rage and made me apreciate this place. He's direct and honest. I'm sick of those goody-goody people so full of respect who talk in your back when they have the chance and let you down cause they are too busy to be happy. I admire the people who dare to be as cruel as the truth. I deplore so badly the way everyone act. But I really respect people like him. You did a mistake banning him. I don't know what happened yet, but he hurted me once, I told him and he walk to his pride to apologise. He's not the kind of person who attack other for no reasons, and he's able to ammend himself for a fault. I think that to punish someone like that, to remove his right to be, is exagerated. What are you waiting to ban those who care about nothing and no one. The day I saw mav, he was saying that a lot of people try to imitate him being bad, but that he's not for no reason and that he try to help others. He helped me. I can tell you that I'm a pain in the ass.... and that I was really in trouble... the debt of my rage, I could have killed someone. He helped me to calm down, he showed me that some people worth to be met and that the web is not that ugly. I just finished a course in web developpement... it was a real problem for me... but he helped me to open slowly. I was a pain, I'm boring and I writte so damn too much in an awfull english. But he always took the time to reply and he was always really kind... even if all I could find to get his attention the first time I PMed him is to stab him. Well, I was very hatefull and violent... so if he could do so much for something like me... you won't make me believe that you had no other choice than to ban him. I hate how much we are not treated like human beings. You wouldn't believe the way I've been treated, I'm that hatefull for a good reason. For one time I meet someone that I apreciate and respect, he get ban. I think your wrong. Tell me your reasons and I'll break them with arguments.

While most of the members care only about making money, he cared and tried to help others. How could you banned him. There is so many people who make me dislike to even come in the web... and you banned the person who made me apreciate it again.

What could possibly justify such noncense. I'd like to know.

People remind her that mods can not discuss another person's banning with anyone but said person. Mod Lluvia Maya says the same thing.

I'm the one asking why, not him.
I wanna know what happened.

and I need a way to contact him.

is this too much to ask. I'm trying to understand instead to judge and to attack you. I'd like you to express your gratitude for my efforts with some decent informations.

and another question is bugging me. why him. and not me.

The admin of my first form called my school saying that I was making menaces of death since months... they almost destroyed my future with a lie. I was just an annoying little girl begging for affection and unable to express any anger. I've been ban again and again until I became the hatred itself. Now that I act the way I do. How come I'm still here. I'm worse than he is. Everyone I met except bacardii is worse than him. Why him? What did he do. What are those "rules".

People once again remind her that she can't know why her friend was banned. The_Swordsman_of_Death calls her a liar about her claim that the admin tried to ruin her.

I mentionned that I'm disgusted by those in the web who lie all the time. To accuse me of lying is to put me as low as those worms. You have the right to not believe me, but don't you dare to make false accusations.

He is my friend. I care about him. I'm more concern about the fact that he got ban than the one who banned him himself, cause I care for him and wanna see him again. I feel like he won't bother to return... that I'll never see him again. It even torment me even in my sleep. I NEED to know!!!! So how dare you to tell me that it's none of my concern.

I asked you politely why. I came here to understand you, I asked your reasons cause, even if I don't aprove them, at least I can understand and respect them! But you, you judged me, you accused me, you insulted me. The favor that I asked you to return is RESPECT!

Now can we have a conversation between adults. I want us to understand each other. I love him. I miss him. I'M worried. I suffer. I wanna understand why. Can you try to understand that and explain yourself so I would understand you as well.

Do you want me to treat you the way you just treated me? I'm shure Mav got ban for less than that.

Yet another mod (Silver Archangel) shows up and explains YET AGAIN why her friend's banning can not be discussed with her. Others try to pound it into her thick skull. The_Swordsman_of_Death calls her a liar again and further stipulates that she's stupid for falling in love with a bunch of pixels. This sparks a small debate on loving the pixels or the person behind the pixels, but nothing flamey really.

Oooh, but our friend Aeona is mortally wounded by Swordsman..

Thozmosis, thank you so much... can you tell me more... I'm not shure to understand.

I used to be an idealist willing to save the world. But now I would gladly destroy it. The very and only thing that I still believe and respect, is the truth.

I'm violent, agressive, annoying, my english suck, I'M a bitch, and even a whore.

But I'M not a liar.

They emailed my school. They told them that I was making menaces of death since month. I almost got kicked out of school.

You presume many things. And you are wrong. I'm no longer in school. I'm 24 years old. I live on my own since I'm 17. I'm a web developper. I have a good logic, I like to undertsand things. I dispise you for judging the people so fast. If you are a moderator, then I think that you have no life and that you come in the internet to abuse your powers on others, without trying to understand them, cause you please yourself to think that everyone is worse than you, that you are the best, and it makes you feel hard to use your powers on others.

But you are an empty shell. IF you think that me, or anyone else that you are in contact with because of the web, is nothing more than pixels... you are the one who's not living in the real world. This is just another way to be with others, there is face to face, on the phone, and with letters, and now we have the internet. When you talk to someone with a phone, do you think she's not real, that she don't have feelings or worth nothing cause her body is not in front of you? Is all you can see in a person is her body? The I trully pity you. The greatest thing to know about someone is their tastes, their opinions, theyr way to be, feel, act and think... that's what makes a person a human being. The body is nothing but meat that becomes rotted when you die... but if we are still amazed by bethooven's music and Picasso's art... what whas so great about them was what they expressed, in paint or in words... that's what touched so many people. But who care about their skeletton.

The ideas. The way to express them. I don't need to see mav body to admire him as a person. I don't need to see his penis to love the way he is and act. I don't even need to take him in my arms to feel rassured... just to writte him, just to send the idea... it makes me happy. To be talked to, in words that I can read or with words that I can ear... there is no differences... I'm in contact with him. My affection for this person is real. I'M attached to him... whern I think about never recieving his toughts ever again, the sadness that I feel is real. The happyness that I have reading a book is real... so why not the one that I feel when someone writte just for me.

You see, the reason why I became so hatefull, why I dispise the people in general enough to... enough to hurt them without regrets... me who used care so deeply... is cause I've met too much people like you, who can't see further than his nose and judge everyone without trying to understand. I pity you. You repulse me. I didn't had the chance to know maverick long enough to know his real name... I will probably never meet him... but I admire him, I even love him deeply... because he's able to admit a mistake, even if he's paranoid he don't condamn other people, he doesn't attack other people for no reason, he showed respect to a violent and agressive person like me, I'm like poison and he always came back to me with something nice to say...

You're the one who should be ban. You don't care about others, you don't even consider me as a human being, you don't give a shit, you're nothing but an empty shell. What are you doing in here if you don't give a shit about other human being. This whole place would be completly empty if someone wasn't there to post. You don't even believe the truth when it's in front of your eyes. You should put your head out of your momy's ass and look at what the world trully is. But unfortunately, people like you never grow up.

I hope you're just a brat seeking money. That would explain why you answered without even knowing who I was talking about. A little know-it-all who think he's better than anybody. But mark my words, you worth nothing, you doesn't worth to be met, and even in person, I would never love someone who act and think the way you do. You make me want to url.

I miss Mav even more when I see a worm like him...

Now can you see how annoying I am... Mav beared that... without hurting me... many times... he was taking such a good care of me... I can't bear the idea to be surrounded by ordinary people like that worm, and to never see a rare person like him...

well, most of the mod was really nice, so I still have some hope for that place... But if there was some justice, it's people like that trash who would be ban.

I need him so badly... I can't stand to be taled to by people like "The_Swordsman_of_Death" who the heck do he think he is... he have nothing to offer. Even my kidside is more impressive and evil than him. I wanna be with mav... it's so fucking unfair. God I'm depressed like hell.......

Keep that trash away from me. *points The_Swordsman_of_Death* He don't even deserve to be called a person.

People point out that if he really cared for her as much as he claimed, he would have, you know, given her a way outside of Gaia to contact him. Aeona babbles some more.

Keep that open, I'm starting to have some faith in you people. This conversation is interesting. It took me forever to type. I'm not good at resuming my toughts. I have too many.

I would prefer to fall in love with someone that I can touch.
My friends in real life don't talk to me... they email me chain letters without even saying hi... they almost never call me, and when we meet, we watch tv without talking... so I even feel closer with the people I meet in the net, cause we do nothing but talk...

he was my snuggle friend... as well... he told me that I was the first person who returned the favor... more I meet girls, and more I'm sad to see that I'm not the only one... but the good he did to me, as I was so badly sad that hatred become a salvation remain the same...

and the other person is right... he said that he wasn't gonna come back in his hat thread... so many he won't at all. I've been ban in the past... the rejection is terrible. It's humiliating... to be punished by a strager like he was my dad... isntead to clear it out like friends... I can't believe that those I've been with talking 6 hours per day since a year banned me, and I did everything to be with them, so they called my school and lied to get rid of me...

I won't let go on mav... I don't care what it will cost me... I need him... there is other caracters with silver hairs... it's easy to find a evil lord... but not someone like him... it's him that I want... I grew attached, I feel love for him... and even if it's not mutual, even if I have to share him... god I need to feel apreciated by him... cause I value him a lot... he matter a lot to me... and we can't choose who we'll love... all we can is to feel it... and god I'm sick to hate! I hated enough to fall hill for 2 years... I love him... I wanna love him... no matter how stupid it sound... I... I'M so sick to be always angry....... he gave me better.... he tamed me... I don't care if it makes me a stupid pet... I can't bear to be as tormented as I am... and he succeded where my "real" friends failed... he succeded to calm me...

hahaha! I sound so stupid... oups long post again.

Lluvia Maya tells her to ask her friend herself why he was banned, and locks the thread.

Only 3 pages long, but..long and tiring to read.

gaia_wank @ 2004-05-21T16:37:00

2004-05-21T20:40:54Z

I was lurking around the Extended Discussion boards today, and found this little gem of a wank. The reader's digest version goes something like this:

MiraFastfire: When I was 10-13, I had cybersex with a much older man. This is sexual abuse. We should discuss this.
A Whole Bunch Of People: OMG You're a retard! Haven't you ever heard of the "block" button? What is wrong with you? You are such a whiny loser.

Mods are threatened to be called, therapy is discussed, and kids are declared stupid multiple times.

Gaia is oppressing my right to be a jerk!

2004-05-19T02:21:01Z

Uubak, formally known as Kabuu, presently known as Bew(referred to as notweja in some posts, as that was the account's name when this began), has been banned from Gaia for the second time. First account was banned for flaming and trolling. Second account was warned twice for the same thing, then Uubak posted in a thread titled 'The Pro-Racism on Gaia League' with the phrase 'white power'(the thread is deleted, but you can see a copy of it here about halfway down the page).

Everyone in the thread was warned. It was her third warning so she was banned for the second time.

Naturally, Bew and her friends feel this is unjust. They wank about it here and here and set up a petition here. Cause we all know how well petitions work on Gaia.

Bew's friends scream freedom of speech. Bew makes several racist comments daring them to ban her again. Mods look bewildered that she doesn't get why she was banned. Bew receives a warning on her new account.

It's so beautiful *tear*

coughs, steps up to the mike

2004-05-10T02:41:18Z

so it turns out goku CAN beat superman...

only three pages as of now, but it's relatively young yet!

She was raped! But I'm the victim and I want control!

2004-05-01T07:58:27Z

AKA: Wah, my pussy hurts.

Backstory: Guy loves girl. Girl suddenly gets cold toward guy. Girl breaks up with guy. Guy hounds and persues girl until he finally /blackmails/ her into giving him 'closure' that he feels he is 'entitled' to.

Girl tells guy that she was raped. Guy goes ballistic, demands that she tell the police and her parents and if she doesn't then HE WILL. And by god she better do it his way or else!

Man, who cares if she's lying about it, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near this wanker either. Rape or no.

gaia_wank @ 2004-04-14T22:49:00

2004-04-15T02:54:02Z

This thread is probably going to be locked later, but it sort of has to do with the Kalec_Deathmage situation.

The Anti-Mod Guild or someone affiliated with them apparently had a sig that accused veris (a moderator) of knowingly buying a stolen halo a while ago, and, in short, doing pretty much the same thing that Kalec_Deathmage did. She gets pissed and then posts a long diatribe about it in the Questions and Feedback forum.

Here.

She gets mostly supportive responses until about page 6 when trufflepig enters and posts a few of her gripes.

I understand where veris is coming from, but I don't think that Q&F is the forum for it.

Good Lord, not more Gaia gay wank!

2004-04-14T02:28:58Z

I wonder if I shouldn't be posting this in i_wank, as I am an active participant in this one.

Here's the deal. Bigdodge starts a topic entitled "Origins of Homosexuality" in GD. The trouble is, he's not actually looking to discuss that. He's just looking to tell everyone that homosexuality is wrong, wrong, wrong! "It says so in the Bible! Paul says so! He saw Jesus, so he can't be wrong! You can't be a Christian if you think Paul is wrong! Now tell me exactly why you disagree so that I can insult your intelligence and avoid your rebuttals!"

The majority of those who respond are less than pleased with his assertions and attitudes, and tell him so. Wank ensues. As I mentioned before, I've played a large part in this wank, and I am properly ashamed of rising to the bait.

I'm sorry I can't give a better description, but I don't think I'm capable very objective about it right now.

Small, but nourishing.

2004-04-12T18:48:30Z

Not anywhere near the same level as Halogate, but still pretty funny:

Gaia holds an Easter egg hunt. Seth Darkheart starts a topic in which he forbids bumping, which on Gaia is like forbidding flies to buzz, yes?

The inevitable "bump" posts appear, but things stay fairly calm until Komm Kayriel complains about idiots and XxTearWolfxX takes offense.

Trust me. Don't get on my bad side. Working in the charitys gives you friends in high places. I warn you now. Do not speak to me as though you know -more- then me.

p|-|34r teh-- sorry, Fear the little yellow chibi! She knows people who will... uh... steal your virtual bunny slippers?

Sadly, the pissing match fizzles out pretty quickly, but the sniping continues, Son Gouku throws in a little melodrama, and five pages later Komm Kayriel just can't let it go.

Teh great halo controversy!

2004-04-08T14:07:55Z

So, Kalec_Deathmage was questing for a halo. He got one.

Unfortunately, he bought it from a scammer who had stolen it from Veris' rental store (a store where you can rent old donation items for a few k a day,which is apparently now deleted). Scammer is banned. Controversy rages over who should keep the halo.

Friends leap to Kalec's side, saying he worked too hard to just give it back. Demands that Veris buy her own halo back from him are made. And Veris's friend has a halo, they can just share it anyway!!

To me what SHOULD happen seems like a no-brainer, but then i don't know what i'd do in Kalec's position either.

"Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes..."

2004-04-02T13:15:48Z

*sigh* If anyone wants to take the liberty of posting this to otf_wank, by all means do.

Also, comm tags work. User tags don't, just because I don't want to risk linking to the little kids' journals.

gaia_online is a LJ community for those addicted to Gaia, or those who'd just like to stay in touch with other Gaians. A lot of the time, it's unwanky. Unfortunately, when we wank, we wank hard. Usually by posting the same topic 900 times in the comm. XP

This gem, though, is spectacular in its glory. redninjawinz takes offense to the April Fools' joke played by the admins because it looks like blackface.

People immediately leap on her and tell her that she's overreacting. And wank is had by all.

Highlights:
Mary Poppins is racist!
The inevitable "go back to Africa" comment.
Pwnage.

But, really, I think that elyssia summed it up best.

You know...we should petition against the face veils too! What about the feelings of the people in the middle east?!

Oh, and mummy masks!! That's offensive to Egyptian religious practices!!

Coconut bras also!! Perpetuating an islander stereotype!!!

And KIMONOS! Don't even get me started!!!!

.........o.o Come on kids, lighten up.

April fools! You suck!

2004-04-01T23:49:34Z

As anyone who's been on Gaia today knows, the admin have pulled a few pranks. One is making you look like you have millions in gold, though only for a short time. The other is an event involving a floating blue giftbox. Click on the giftbox and wham! Your face is covered in ink. Most people laughed. But a few wankers didn't.

For instance, This guy. He wants reparations, damn it! And he wants them now! He's even got a list of demands.

ETA: Apparently it was an April Fool's joke. And now people are telling the people who told the OP to stop whining to get a sense of humor. I believe this makes the circle of wank complete.

Price guide wank - it's like a bukkake film, only not.

2004-03-26T22:05:00Z

Gasp! Sometime last night, depending on which price guide you prefer, the beloved G.E.N. unstickied in the Exchange forum, and shortly after, a new sticky was made with links to G.E.N., E.V.I.L., and J.P.G.

The spooge commenced shortly afterward.

On page 370, the panic begins amidst speculations that the Exchange will suddenly fall into chaos because the G.E.N. is no longer stickied at the top of the forum. Ryonin, the mod who did the unstickying, points out the new post with the links to the three price guides, and says, "Complain all you want.It was either this or no sticky mentioning any of them."

...insert more panicking here. Jynk takes the panic to the Questions and Feedback forum and posts her displeasure at the unstickying. Let the prime wanking begin.

Jynk and her supporters complain that G.E.N. earned the right to be stickied on the basis that G.E.N. has simply been on Gaia forever and that E.V.I.L. sucks with its horrible layout, etc. The exchange will simply go to hell without the bright shining beacon that is the G.E.N. at the top of the page. Any other price guide must obviously be wanna-be G.E.N.s with the intent of getting stickied as well. And only G.E.N. was magnamimous enough to link to the other two price guides as soon as they were created. The decision to remove the sticky status is obviously going to bring disaster to the Gaian economy. Now people will make price guides left and right! Gasp! How could they imply that E.V.I.L. and J.P.G. could be on equal footing with the illustrious G.E.N.?

Enter the naysayers. Some are neutral parties, some belong to E.V.I.L. Senbei Reloaded, the leader of E.V.I.L., also proclaims rather condescendingly that he has tried to create an Exchange Alliance, but alas, the employees of G.E.N. are acting so immaturely that even a 10-13 page discussion cannot resolve the issues between them, nevermind the fact that Senbei Reloaded apparently went to the G.E.N. thread and danced on their 'sticky-status' grave, ahem.

Enjoy fifteen pages worth of spooge. Marvel at the snarking back and forth and the locking of the thread. Good times.

Not the letters!!

2004-03-26T00:53:59Z

I'm amazed no one has reported yet about all the splurting going on on all sides regarding the March letters not opening yet. I'd post links but there's just so much of it.

I personally am tired of seeing people getting jumped on as greedy bastards because they happen to wonder why the letters aren't opened yet. This moral highground some Gaians seem to think they're on is ridiculous. It's PIXELS. Lanzer is not God. Get a grip.

I wonder how many of these people who call others selfish have ever quested. How are they any less materialistic than the letter lovers/item suggestors/etc? I don't think they are much different than the people they bash.

That might have possibly been wanky, but i'm just tired of watching people getting attacked all the time.

To kick things off..

2004-03-15T04:21:08Z

Ok, maybe not wank, but one of those threads that makes my brain hurt.

Xaqaria thinks that anyone who has a strong opinion about ANYTHING is ignorant. Marvel at his longass post in which he justifies this. Then watch him call people fuckwits for pointing out that he's contradicting himself, as he seems to have a very strong opinion on...having strong opinions.