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Sunday, August 16th, 2009
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10:09 am - This is what happens when people expect far too much of canon.
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lady_ganesh
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Over on ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif) fanficrants, ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif) stella_andrea has something to say. She posts a long rant about how Orion slave girls aren't actually slaves, citing Memory Alpha and the Enterprise series.
Unfortunately, not every one agrees (including me).
gehayi has this to say:
I remember seeing that recently in Memory Alpha.
It astonished me, because it in no way conforms to the Trek canon that I know--that of TOS. And YES, the Orion slave girls are called just that in TOS canon. There is no hint in the 79 original shows that they were ever anything else.
I have never seen any of the books Memory Alpha refers to. I don't know what they say in detail. I do, however, smell a retcon.
Other people make reasonable arguments about the size of canon, canon contradictions, and the (to be fair, debatable) suckiness of Enterprise.
stella_andrea responds with this ETA:
You know people? I give up. Really. I had no idea people disregarded canon at will. I thought that wasn't allowed because, you know, canon is canon! But whatever. I'll stick to my "official" canon and hope that maybe, someday, someone will decide to look at the official canon and use it in some new and interesting ways. That's all I wanted. Someone to write something canon and make it work. *sighs*
It's haaaard out here for an Enterprise fan, peeps.
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(80 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
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11:27 am - food porn doesn't asplode so much as growl a little.
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acrimonious
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Sorry in advance to any vegetarians/vegans that read this; you might get offended.
Our story unfolds in a quaint, darling little community on Livejournal known as Food Porn. Normally a quiet space for people who like to share the details on the meals that make their mouths water, it's had its fair share of wank before. The links don't even cover half of it.
Recently, Food Porn was graced by the presence of a community favorite, joelbrown, a culinary student currently being culinarified in Paris. Even if the subject matter he's waxing poetic about isn't your thing, his posts are entertaining.
OR ARE THEY.
His latest post goes to great lengths to describe his love for foie gras, which is the term for the enlarged liver of a goose that's been forcefed a specific diet.
Being what it is, foie gras is a point of contention in the culinary world. The comments are largely polite, except for ihatemostthings' first comment, which doesn't actually score too high on the scale of wankiness. The problems begin when usekh tells her to behave herself.
Foie gras is Satan, and anybody who doesn't like it is worthy of pity, and morally bankrupt. That's where I get pissed, grab a DELICIOUS STEAK stick, and start poking ihatemostthings.
(Brief warning: Someone posted a picture of a goose getting forcefed. If you're going to get squicked, just read the summary.) lady_erin counters with Earth logic. ihatemostthings sticks her fingers in her ears and chants "IF YOU LIKE WHAT I DON'T LIKE, YOU HAVE NO MORALS." The wank peters out after that.
ETA: She's at it again in a new post!
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(50 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 12th, 2009
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9:34 am - SPN wank makes us all losers
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esclaramonde
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And this is a Fandom_Secrets wank, which makes it even more pathetic. I don't always read the secrets, probably for this reason, but the times I do I usually notice at least two secrets about the crazy that is SPN fandom, and see lots of defensiveness over it. The new format for comments (one thread for each secret) makes it even more obvious.
For some reason, I felt it necessary to involve myself. I would give more links and a detailed commentary, but I think it speaks for itself, plus oh god I can't bear looking at it again. I think I was trying to say that it wasn't worth dogpiling over, but who can even tell what my huge blocks of text are about.
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(45 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 4th, 2009
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3:49 pm - Nothing says good times like wank
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| Friday, April 3rd, 2009
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2:44 pm - Continuity errors is srs bsns
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| Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
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3:30 pm - XHTML Butthurt!
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photosinensis
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Sometimes, people wank over the stupidest things.
Enter acpizza at LJ's permmembers community. S/h/it demands to know why LJ insists on closing its line break tags when creating posts using the rich text editor, saying that this particular behavior has ruined the web client FOREVER! Admittedly, rich text editing has been the bane of support folk for a while, and it doesn't generate the best code in the world, but this is probably one of the silliest things to complain about.
Now, most people point out that this is standard for XHTML (including myself). darkcryst leaves what I think is the best comment. Thinking that simple facts would suffice to explain this particular behavior, I abandoned this post, thinking that the wank was done. The community mod in charge of allowing this post even admits that he/she did it for the lulz.
However, the person is still not satisfied. Since s/h/it gives some pretty choice replies, I'll just give you excerpts from the replies.
It may have been someone's standard for "years", but the HTML standard has been around even longer than anything XML, so.. fuck XML and the horse it rode in on. Besides, the great thing about standards is there are so many to choose from.
It is properly configured, the problem is fucking LiveJournal now has the RT editor as the default, so if you use the system anywhere other than home, it changes to shit mode.
Just use TABLE tags if you want to do a quote, the way God intended. (As an aside here, there is the blockquote tag, which is defined in the current XHTML standard, I believe. I know most of y'all know that already, but for the two of you who don't, well, now you do.)
What you're talking about is a piss-poor replacement for real HTML.
Backwards compatibility, freedom, and convenience mean that this so-called "requirement" will never be enforced.
And lastly, as a response to a request to stop trolling: But.. engineering homework gets too damned tedious without a refreshing break.
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009
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7:27 pm - Ferris Bueller's Day Off is SERIOUS BUSINESS
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dark_puck
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Very small, but it's been growing for a few days.
Okay, so a post is made in stupid_free, about a girl who lost a library book and decided she didn't need to pay her fine. But that's not what this is about.
Everything starts out when i_found_jesu posts a macro from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Not recognizing the source, only the face, I comment, asking if that's Matthew Broderick. i_found_jesu replies, "BUELLER...BUELLER...", which leads me to remark that both Ferris Bueller and Matthew Broderick make me want to punch them in the face.
We get in your general "no! how can you not like Ferris!"-type posts, and I explain that Ferris rubs me the wrong way and I consider him a douchebag.
And then, in from left field comes mazzie, wielding the Great Question: "are you 12?"
A dialogue ensues, in which I explain my reasoning for not liking Ferris Bueller and realizing that, oh hay, maybe my dislike of Matthew Broderick stems from my dislike of Ferris! This ends with mazzie going "hence my wondering about your age."
I... am not following, here, but okay!
The next morning, completely out of right field, comes grlathena! She has this to say: "bb, you missed the point of that movie several times over.
Also, "what does my age have to do with it" is probably the second weakest argument on the intertubes, in case you were wondering"
Another dialogue ensues, in which I am accused of reading comprehension fail and I counter with, "And here I thought this was stupid_free, not differing_opinions_on_movies_free."
After some further dialogue, I give up, realizing that there's probably a reason why people like mazzie and grlathena are fans of douchebags like Ferris Bueller.
But it isn't over yet!
lovediamond moves in, pointing out that grlathena is basically acting like a condescending twat. Grlathena continues with her "bb"s and her passive-aggressive "oh i am lolling so hard at you," while lovediamond tries to point out the hypocrisy.
Meanwhile, sawaboof, who, in the interest of full disclosure, is an RL friend of mine from several years back, arrives to comment "And I guess that would make the weakest argument: "are you 12?". Grlathena is not going to let this slide! She has to prove how amusing she finds all those of us who are getting riled up over this!
And all this over a single opinion: "Ferris Bueller is a douchebag."
What. The. Fuck.
current mood: Amazed
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(88 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, January 26th, 2009
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11:23 pm - WoW Wank in the Making?
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pocketfox
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Some background info first:
The meta-achievement in question is related to Brewfest, WoW's version of Oktoberfest. One of the achievements involved to get the meta requires you to have joined the "Brew of the Month Club" (something you could only do DURING Brewfest) and to sample their monthly brews for a year. Now, the Achievements system didn't come out until after Brewfest ended, thus leading many players to believe that requiring "Brew of the Year" to get the Brewfest meta-achievement is unfair, and threads have started in the Suggestions forum asking that it be removed.
Rather than sounding like I'm trying to justfy myself (since I'm in the thick of it, posting as "Alyrr"), I'll just point you guys to the thread and let you have your fun.
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(41 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, January 11th, 2009
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2:50 pm - Nuuuuu! His Shtick!
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darth_ember
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So, over on BRPS on LJ, a poster decides that a particular post style belongs to one person and one person alone. The mighty gay_bear has a shtick, you see. A manner of using a persona that obviously nobody else has ever done. safe_sock decides to speak in defence of his hero.
Why? Because of the first sentence of this post. Because obviously this person is not a ninja, and therefore must be using a persona, which is OMGSTEEEEEELING.
At the time of posting this, this person still hasn't bothered to comment over in that post. No, he decided to make his own post, to tell us all what we must not do.
STOPPIT. I MEAN IT.
He is, predictably mocked, and responds with vast amounts of splooge to the mockery. Obviously, anybody mocking him must be taking it personally and he has upset them(*gloatgloat*). Don't miss the posting the same comment in response to multiple other comments.
Posted over here instead of otf_wank because I A) deemed his mockery by BRPS members utterly, utterly deserved, and B) joined in, well before it occurred to me that it might be a wanky enough post to cart it over here for other people to laugh at.
Darth Ember is involved. Darth Ember is Lady Rilwen. Lady Rilwen is apparently ripping off gay_bear's shtick right now. Lady Rilwen would like to note that gay_bear has not commented as yet, and is apparently not involved except as the reason for safe_sock's CAPSLOCK OF RAAAAAGE.
current mood: Flippant
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(34 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 17th, 2008
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5:02 am - MECHA IS SERIOUS BUSINESS (Or, "Spiral Power? I liked it better when it was Getter Rays")
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clawshrimpy
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Well, I wasn't sure if this was better suited at Fandom_Rant or not, but at it's core is me wondering if I'm a bad fan or not, so there.
I am having a hard time discussing the fandoms I like because I do, admittedly, have a tendency to get defensive and hostile. (I am a autistic male in his early twenties.) but, when you get attacked and flamed on discussion forums like I do, it's some
times hard to deal with. I am a fan of Mecha, some Real Robot, but mostly of the Super Robot variety.
I know I should worry what people say about me on the internet, but am I really being the jerk here? and I fully admit I have problems with adapting to new things.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
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11:06 pm
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yukina_raven
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So this is a very long and complicated story. BUT, since I doubt anyone actually cares about that, here's the summary.
Once upon a time, there was an RP game on Livejournal. It was fun. I was promoted to mod there by ankhutenshi, creator and dictator head mod of the game. It was even more fun. However, soon, I started to not like being a mod because I had no power. I was to do the core posts, but had little to no real say in the going ons of the game. I had the mod status simply because I could log into the mod journal. So I quit modding there. Me doing so caused a snowball effect. ankhutenshi said a lot of hateful hurtful things to me, former friend and mod. Likewise, I did some stupid shit, too. So I ended up leaving the game entirely and ignoring she lived.
So the other night, her name spams my f-list with an icon post. In one of them in the Jigoku Shoujo community (a fan comm for an anime series with the same name) she asks for credit for a certain icon. The icon in question, she originally took from me before our fallout. At the time, I had not credited the icon. Several days ago, however, I came across it. So despite better judgment, I commented with this helpful piece of credit info I had.
And was attacked. I knew I should've left it alone right then, but, of course, I didn't.
I ranted about it in my journal and linked it--bad move. My crazy friends--I love them so--decided to WTF at her. However THEN she went way too far with a friend of mine by insulting his gender and sexuality, which causes the post to be linked all over the place and people FLOCK to it to hate on her. Lastly she offers a very insincere apology to me that is practically forced out of her. And the wank is still going, though I've long since stopped caring.
Basically I need to learn to stop commenting at her. I always get dragged into wank when I do.
Edit: ANHKI HAS DELETED IT! Give me a moment and I'll upload some screenshots.
Edit1: Still working on the screenshots, but we have THIS for now. Thanks damien!
Edit2: OKAY! Here they all are. There's a lot, sorry.
The original icon credit wank.
1, 2, 3, 4 5 6 7 8
And then she gets personal and people call her out on it.
1 (missing text is "learn 2 gender, idiot") 2 3
More people getting involved. Oh dear.
1 2 3 4 5
And that's it before it was deleted!
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(27 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, July 18th, 2008
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10:36 pm - Little wank. Little like Starscream.
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seiberwing
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smart_blonde223 posts a reasonable rant to fanficrants regarding a rather awful example of surprise Transformer buttsex. Her response to the surprise was courteous, the author's response was less so. Lols are had by all.
Then the author shows up, and boy is she upset.
You, smartblonde223, are the biggest bitch in the world. I hope you burn in Hell and the rest of your family burn, too. You are a disgrace. Did you actually think you could come on here and RANT about MY story without me finding out? You're a fucking bitch, I hate you, and I hope you get run over by a truck. Youre a cocksucking motherfucking cunt, I hope you know. And your little friend sieberwing better not try to link anything, either.
Like I said in my previous post, I've changed it so that youre now banned and that you cant link back. have fun in hell, asshat.
She's so mad, in fact, that she deletes not only the fic but the entire Yahoo comm. More lols are had, while helena1234 tries desperately to make people take her seriously.
You "lol'd"? Laughing is the last thing youll be doing once i find out who you are bitch
you better take those photos down now or else i'll tell everyone your information
-----
no the worst thing that can happen to her is the fact that i know where she lives and if she doesnt take it down im going to send all of my friends to kick her ass
she lives in argentina and i know exactly wehere, too.
and mind your own damn business, slut (Not that the info will do her much good...)
Mere hours later, in a personality shift to rival Blitzwing's, she apologizes! So perhaps this is the last of that, or perhaps she shall return to us being mean. Or lead an invasion of Argentina to avenge her maligned fic.
It also seems to have landed at sf_drama, to much bogglement but no actual wank.
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(38 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 10th, 2008
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10:49 am
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| Sunday, June 8th, 2008
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11:39 am - Pokemons are SRSBSNSS.
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kittikattie
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On the Pokemons community, myuutsuuman posts a video about SSBB tiers, then goes comparing Pokemon tiers to SSBB tiers. The main bit?
While the video's basically regarding Smash Bros. (and parodies using the logic tournament players use), you can apply the same to competitive Pokemon players. Apparently, you become a "noob" or an idiot for not playing a video game that's built around customizing YOUR team with the way YOU want to play. Sure, there's some stupid choices that can be made (like a team of six Water-types or using a Fire-type with only Fire-type moves or having a Pokemon with Thunder, Blizzard, Fire Blast, and Hyper Beam), but really. Am I the only one who thinks the whole "competitive" aspect ruins the point of the games? They're called "games" for a reason; they provide entertainment and are meant to be fun. Not to be treated as a contest of who has the bigger e-peen in battling Pogeymanz.
People agree, disagree, complain about tiers, and fuss. Not major, but a touch wanky.
On iWank because I wanked. Competitive Gamers Creed my fucking ass.
--Neth
current mood: wanky
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(43 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 25th, 2008
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10:12 pm
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| Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
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4:08 pm - zines are not meant for money - EVER
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| Saturday, January 12th, 2008
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11:37 pm - Should I Be Ashamed...
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pocketfox
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That my very first post to any wank community is i_wank? I hope not, 'cause I'm not, 'cause it's too amusing.
*cough* Anyway.
In a day that will go down in World of Warcraft history -- at least as far as Moon Guard server is concerned -- the Horde staged an epic retaliatory set of raids on every Alliance capital city at once. Six racial leaders were brought down in 23 minutes (we're all very proud of that 23, you understand *sage nod*), with over a dozen guilds and more than 120 people involved.
As you might expect, the official Moon Guard forums are flooded with threads about the event, the vast majority of them being kudos from both sides for what went down. But of course, this couldn't be wank if it wasn't for one guy who insists on getting butthurt about the entire deal.
Galavis repeatedly informs us all that "It was not an accomplishment".
Why, may you ask? Well, because in Galavis' world, 8PM central time on a Saturday night isn't "peak hours". And we shouldn't be so proud of "[patting ourselves] on the back for waiting til no ones around and then [stealing] from the cookie jar," because apparently peak hours are "[between] 12:00 pm and 4:00pm EST." What follows is four five pages of people telling him to shut the hell up and sit the hell down (including one of his own guildmates), with him gleefully repeating himself and happily refusing to get the point. (ETA: I'm the blood elf rogue named Noishe who poked him first. *cough*)
Small, but tasty in the sense that WoW players really are experts when it comes to grasping at straws while telling the enemy faction just how hard they suck and why.
current mood: Candy-Coated
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(104 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, December 26th, 2007
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11:27 am - Knotty wanka!
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brennalarose
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So, due to my wedding in three years, I joined "The Knot". It's a great website and my fiance and I have gotten a lot of good advice about weddings and budgeting and how not to kill each other on the big day.
We wanted a Browncoat wedding, to embrace our love of Firefly, my family's Asian influences (Granddaddy worked in the Foreign Service) and our love of weird tech. Now, I'm thinking, "I'm Captain of my own Firefly-class! I am only a pretty, pretty princess on the outside!" So, I wanted to try a bit of spiff I found in a book on handfastings: a mock duel.
Here's my post to "The Knot" forums.
My fiance and I are a couple of nerds. He's Wiccan, I'm Oddball Christian, so I picked up a book on handfastings that had tips on Interfaith marriages. While flipping through, I came across the concept of mock abductions and duels. Seeing as our wedding is as much a theatrical production as it is a ceremony of commitment, I was thinking of having a mock duel between the bridal party and the groom's party, in disguise as the villains of our favorite TV series. There will be a warning in the programs and we certainly won't use live steel (no firearms, but that goes without saying). Yet, a few problems have cropped up.
1) My dress will most likely have a hoopskirt/crinoline. I can work around the corset.
2) Fight Choreography could get tricky.
3) Where do we hide the weapons?
Any ideas? Or should I save the duel for the reception and wear a pant suit?
At first, I get a intrigued response. But then, this shows up.
Skip it.
This is a wedding, not some kind of funky theatrical production. It's also a lot of work.
I disagree, having been involved in my mother's Sci-Fi convention wedding and my best friend's perfectly mundane nuptuals. Others point out that "It's her wedding, she should do as she pleases". Others insist it's crazy and in poor taste.
I respond:
I think that, while my family might be surprised, they understand that my fiance and I are oddballs with our own interests. This is symbolic of the fact that neither of us is going to be submitting to anyone but will compromise and be partners and equals, rather than macho man and damsel in distress.
Does this sound more acceptable: the groom comes in, masked and disguised as a bad guy from the show (blue gloves and all, for those who get the reference. I process in like a good girl, but--hey!--who's this schmuck at the altar? I demand to know who he is and where's my boy, three times for symbolic sake. Finally, he removes his gloves and mask, and puts on his Browncoat and the ceremony proceeds as planned.
Is that better?
The next response?
No.
Admittedly this might not be wank. If it doesn't belong, delete it by all means.
Here's a link to the whole dog-and-pony show.
http://talk.theknot.com/boards/main_frame.aspx?page=ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=10
EDIT: Hi! WOW. Thanks for all the input. I was honestly expecting more "LOLZ Stupid Wanka!".
To those who think I'm looking for validation: I apologize. If I had been seeking validation, I wouldn't have come here. I came here to laugh at myself for going to a fairly mainstream place with my fandom schtick and to share the joke. Thanks for laughing. You were laughing, right? Would a pie to my face have helped at all?
To those with advice: Thank you. I'm taking copious notes. The reason I'm waiting three years is a) after a six-year engagement, starting my senior year, three more won't kill us and b) it gives us time to save up, plan and do this right.
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(117 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, December 9th, 2007
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10:23 pm - For god's sake someone nail my hands down.
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3:53 am - Small but entertaining.
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bardicsidhe
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I wanked about pony colors. Well, sort of? Does bear-baiting count as wanking? I'd expected this sort of response, and yet I still did it. I couldn't help myself? Bear in mind that I'm about as mild-mannered a person as they come. I presented proof that someone else didn't steal her character idea and...well... ta-da. Insta-word-vomit.
There's some prime-grade crazy over there, watch yo'selves.
Edit: %*!# RTF Formatting. Didn't even notice the formatting bar; I should be shot.
Son of Edit: Why we're talking about peacocks in the first place. Wait. Weren't we? Brief comment about what spurred this whole thing in the first place. As far as how I knew she even existed... well... that's a long story, and I'd been happily avoiding her until I saw her id on my dA account's list of watchers.
current mood: Flippant
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(30 comments | comment on this)
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