Vendetta Central

This is what happens when people expect far too much of canon.

2009-08-16T14:17:28Z

Over on fanficrants, stella_andrea has something to say. She posts a long rant about how Orion slave girls aren't actually slaves, citing Memory Alpha and the Enterprise series.

Unfortunately, not every one agrees (including me).

gehayi has this to say:

I remember seeing that recently in Memory Alpha.

It astonished me, because it in no way conforms to the Trek canon that I know--that of TOS. And YES, the Orion slave girls are called just that in TOS canon. There is no hint in the 79 original shows that they were ever anything else.

I have never seen any of the books Memory Alpha refers to. I don't know what they say in detail. I do, however, smell a retcon.

Other people make reasonable arguments about the size of canon, canon contradictions, and the (to be fair, debatable) suckiness of Enterprise.

stella_andrea responds with this ETA:

You know people? I give up. Really. I had no idea people disregarded canon at will. I thought that wasn't allowed because, you know, canon is canon! But whatever. I'll stick to my "official" canon and hope that maybe, someday, someone will decide to look at the official canon and use it in some new and interesting ways. That's all I wanted. Someone to write something canon and make it work. *sighs*

It's haaaard out here for an Enterprise fan, peeps.

food porn doesn't asplode so much as growl a little.

2009-04-15T15:45:11Z

Sorry in advance to any vegetarians/vegans that read this; you might get offended.

Our story unfolds in a quaint, darling little community on Livejournal known as Food Porn. Normally a quiet space for people who like to share the details on the meals that make their mouths water, it's had its fair share of wank before. The links don't even cover half of it.

Recently, Food Porn was graced by the presence of a community favorite, joelbrown, a culinary student currently being culinarified in Paris. Even if the subject matter he's waxing poetic about isn't your thing, his posts are entertaining.

OR ARE THEY.

His latest post goes to great lengths to describe his love for foie gras, which is the term for the enlarged liver of a goose that's been forcefed a specific diet.

Being what it is, foie gras is a point of contention in the culinary world. The comments are largely polite, except for ihatemostthings' first comment, which doesn't actually score too high on the scale of wankiness. The problems begin when usekh tells her to behave herself.

Foie gras is Satan, and anybody who doesn't like it is worthy of pity, and morally bankrupt. That's where I get pissed, grab a ~~DELICIOUS STEAK~~ stick, and start poking ihatemostthings.

(Brief warning: Someone posted a picture of a goose getting forcefed. If you're going to get squicked, just read the summary.) lady_erin counters with Earth logic. ihatemostthings sticks her fingers in her ears and chants "IF YOU LIKE WHAT I DON'T LIKE, YOU HAVE NO MORALS." The wank peters out after that.

ETA: She's at it again in a new post!

SPN wank makes us all losers

2009-04-12T14:30:17Z

And this is a Fandom_Secrets wank, which makes it even more pathetic. I don't always read the secrets, probably for this reason, but the times I do I usually notice at least two secrets about the crazy that is SPN fandom, and see lots of defensiveness over it. The new format for comments (one thread for each secret) makes it even more obvious.

For some reason, I felt it necessary to involve myself. I would give more links and a detailed commentary, but I think it speaks for itself, plus oh god I can't bear looking at it again. I think I was trying to say that it wasn't worth dogpiling over, but who can even tell what my huge blocks of text are about.

Nothing says good times like wank

2009-04-05T15:35:40Z

I'm very supportive of a sex positive, anti-censorship world. What I should also be is less wanky. I should continue to take my own advice and SIT ON MY HANDS until the urge to argue with people goes away.

Continuity errors is srs bsns

2009-04-04T02:30:46Z

PREVIOUSLY ON LOST

HOLY SHIT, SAYID SHOT BB!BEN

Fandom asplodes with !!!, WOULD YOU KILL HITLER???, HOW DARE YOU SHOOT A CHILD, SAYID IS AN HERO, and BEN IS DEAD NO HE ISN'T YES HE IS YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST YES YOU CAN NO YOU CAN'T.

Then, Kate becomes awesome again and Jack gets booted out the Jack/Kate/Sawyer/Juliet Love Boat when he refuses to save Bendolf Lintler, which is what Juliet is doing, because she's an ethical doctor (or aiding and abetting terror, depending on how you see it). There was some important myth stuff in the latest episode, "Whatever Happened Happened", like Richard taking Ben to the Temple where he can get healed and lose his innocence and memories (thus answering Hurley's question of how come Ben didn't remember Sayid in 2004), but according to DarkUFO contributer Vozzek69, that's not more important than a continuity error -- I mean, a totally super secret clue to the writer's true endgame. It's all a matter of perception!:

Know what they see? Only what they need to see. Or more specifically, only what they need to be shown. Which is why when Jin turns little Ben over, the bullet hole in his zip-down hoodie is now on the exact opposite side of his chest - on the other side of the zipper. It's not even close, it's a complete mirror image of the spot where Sayid drilled him precisely through the heart.

Continuity error? Maybe on 24. But this is LOST, and we're seeing exactly what the island wants us to see, through Jin's eyes. But through the eyes of Sayid? For him the bullet went right through the kid's heart - no need for a coup de grace. And this, my friends, is how the island isn't so much manipulating the events or happenings we see from week to week. What's being manipulated are the perceptions and experiences of the characters on LOST, and yes, even the flashbacks.

Vozzek further continues to extrapolate on his theory that Lost is totally like a M. Night Sham-wow movie, with children who aren't really there and portraits that change. Things progress normally, with people going "ILU MANG" and

if they DO mean somthing. I must say, this is the most SAIN explanation iv ever heard for this.

and on the flipside going "uh, dudes, it's just a continuity error". In comes zorro, member of Team Continuity Error:

Honestly, I think you're completely over-thinking simple continuity errors. In fact, one of the things you use as proof--the fact that the Swan looks slightly different after its first appearance--has been confirmed as a simple continuity error. It just seems like you're trying so hard not to get fooled by the surprise ending that you end up fooling yourself into obsessing over meaningless things.

This might've been written off as a harmless bit of dissent, except Vozzek replies:

Honestly, I think you're completely over-thinking simple continuity errors.

Ummm... wow. Just WOW.

Yikes.

Zoinks, even.

And the war of Continuity Error vs. Tttly Super Secret Clue begins! I am in there under my eljay name, buongiornodaisy, as a member of Team Continuity Error. The debate bounces back and forth between "continuty error" "secret clue" until people start going on and on about how rude zorro is being!!!

Choice quotes:

barbara said...

Vozzek gets the big picture. Those of you who criticize him don't. Continuity errors!! That's absurd.

---

ClassicUniversity said...

>>>Honestly, I think you're completely over-thinking simple continuity errors.<<<

As GENIUS, detailed, and meticulous as the writers of this show have been, how can any of you really believe they are continually and constantly having continuity errors? I personally totally agree with Vozzek on this one.

---

vozzek69 said...

Vozzek, thank you for your clear and well-thought-out reply to my points.

Hehe... ah, Zorro. Respectfully, I just can't argue with anyone who still thinks something as big as a migrating bullethole, this late into the show, can be anything but intentional. Yes, continuity errors can, do, and have happened. But something this big? You're off your rocker. Don't ask for screenshots, just go back and watch it.

---

Dead_Paulo said...

Boy, zorro, you're really something today. Do you think maybe time-travel is possible? With this show you have to either be willing to suspend disbelief or go watch AI.

---

stygldpnyby said...

... and here I thought the store clerk was just trying to get his big break by over-acting ...

---

Snowman said...

>>>Respectfully, I just can't argue with anyone who still thinks something as big as a migrating bullethole, this late into the show, can be anything but intentional. <<<

I find it difficult to respect Vozzek after making this kind of comment. Not only is it based on faulty assumptions, but it's downright arrogant and condescending toward anyone who disagrees.

According to Lostpedia, here is a list of Bloopers, Anachronisms, and Continuity Errors from Season Five. Knock yourself out Vozz, and explain them all according to your Shyamalan theory.

[INSERT RIDICULOUSLY LONG LIST OF CONTINUITY ERRORS HERE]

---

ClassicUniversity said...

Ok zorro you win. I am guy that told you to go to Wal-Mart last week in last weeks “Things I noticed” comments and I totally apologize because you responded to me with total class. However I must say, then I was quite upset with you, today I am not but I still have something to say.

My issue with you is still the same. How can you pick apart everyone’s theories so confidently and all you know is what we know….nothing!! That is why they call them THEORIES! (Theory is defined as an Idea formed by SPECULATION) Do I have to define speculation too?

---

Raymond said...

This will end just like the "There's No Time Travel On Lost" feud ended. Vozz and those who are seeing the same things will be proved correct and those from the School of Zorro will never be heard from again (until they create new usernames to argue on the wrong side of the next debate).

---

Ken said...

I'm not reading all messages, but Zorro you are a completely rude and closed minded person. What Vozz is explaining is that Aaron is not really DISAPPEARING. Gawd, whats wrong with you. He is talking about certain perceptions of certain characters of the show. Not all the time, not all continuity errors or so called, alright.
The bullet wound was on ben's left side of his torso, and when Jin (the very next scene of the very next episode , they display the would on ben's right?? COME ON thats NOT continuity you....

Eventually the blog admin's had enough of it:

DarkUFO said...

Stop, just stop!

Discuss the contents of this recap NOT each other.

Any further offtopic posts will be deleted and repeat violations and you will be banned.

This is meant to be fun people, some of you are seriously draining the fun out of it.

But as the thread is still going, we'll see how many people actually listen to him (although he is VERY generous with the baahleet button). (ETA: There are still people trying to wedge in their thoughts on zorro, but the conversation has now steered towards whether Aaron is real or fake.)

Unfortunately, this is not an isolated event. DarkUFO's just come off another epic debate as to whether a woman seen in the background of a shot is really Claire.

XHTML Butthurt!

2009-03-25T21:06:28Z

Sometimes, people wank over the stupidest things.

Enter acpizza at LJ's permmembers community. S/h/it demands to know why LJ insists on closing its line break tags when creating posts using the rich text editor, saying that this particular behavior has ruined the web client FOREVER! Admittedly, rich text editing has been the bane of support folk for a while, and it doesn't generate the best code in the world, but this is probably one of the silliest things to complain about.

Now, most people point out that this is standard for XHTML (including myself). darkcryst leaves what I think is the best comment. Thinking that simple facts would suffice to explain this particular behavior, I abandoned this post, thinking that the wank was done. The community mod in charge of allowing this post even admits that he/she did it for the lulz.

However, the person is still not satisfied. Since s/h/it gives some pretty choice replies, I'll just give you excerpts from the replies.

It may have been someone's standard for "years", but the HTML standard has been around even longer than anything XML, so.. fuck XML and the horse it rode in on. Besides, the great thing about standards is there are so many to choose from.

It is properly configured, the problem is fucking LiveJournal now has the RT editor as the default, so if you use the system anywhere other than home, it changes to shit mode.

Just use TABLE tags if you want to do a quote, the way God intended. (As an aside here, there is the blockquote tag, which is defined in the current XHTML standard, I believe. I know most of y'all know that already, but for the two of you who don't, well, now you do.)

What you're talking about is a piss-poor replacement for real HTML.

Backwards compatibility, freedom, and convenience mean that this so-called "requirement" will never be enforced.

And lastly, as a response to a request to stop trolling: But.. engineering homework gets too damned tedious without a refreshing break.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off is SERIOUS BUSINESS

2009-03-04T03:48:13Z

Very small, but it's been growing for a few days.

Okay, so a post is made in stupid_free, about a girl who lost a library book and decided she didn't need to pay her fine. But that's not what this is about.

Everything starts out when i_found_jesu posts a macro from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Not recognizing the source, only the face, I comment, asking if that's Matthew Broderick. i_found_jesu replies, "BUELLER...BUELLER...", which leads me to remark that both Ferris Bueller and Matthew Broderick make me want to punch them in the face.

We get in your general "no! how can you not like Ferris!"-type posts, and I explain that Ferris rubs me the wrong way and I consider him a douchebag.

And then, in from left field comes mazzie, wielding the Great Question: "are you 12?"

A dialogue ensues, in which I explain my reasoning for not liking Ferris Bueller and realizing that, oh hay, maybe my dislike of Matthew Broderick stems from my dislike of Ferris! This ends with mazzie going "hence my wondering about your age."

I... am not following, here, but okay!

The next morning, completely out of right field, comes grlathena! She has this to say: "bb, you missed the point of that movie several times over.

Also, "what does my age have to do with it" is probably the second weakest argument on the intertubes, in case you were wondering"

Another dialogue ensues, in which I am accused of reading comprehension fail and I counter with, "And here I thought this was stupid_free, not differing_opinions_on_movies_free."

After some further dialogue, I give up, realizing that there's probably a reason why people like mazzie and grlathena are fans of douchebags like Ferris Bueller.

But it isn't over yet!

lovediamond moves in, pointing out that grlathena is basically acting like a condescending twat. Grlathena continues with her "bb"s and her passive-aggressive "oh i am lolling so hard at you," while lovediamond tries to point out the hypocrisy.

Meanwhile, sawaboof, who, in the interest of full disclosure, is an RL friend of mine from several years back, arrives to comment "And I guess that would make the weakest argument: "are you 12?". Grlathena is not going to let this slide! She has to prove how amusing she finds all those of us who are getting riled up over this!

And all this over a single opinion: "Ferris Bueller is a douchebag."

What. The. Fuck.

WoW Wank in the Making?

2009-01-27T06:38:36Z

Some background info first:

With the release of Wrath of the Lich King, an "achievements" system was added in which you accomplish certain goals (ranging from the very simple like "buy a tabard" to the extremely difficult like "defeat every Northrend raid boss while in a 25-man raid group") and be rewarded for those accomplishments. Some of the rewards are pretty damn appealing, such as collecting 50 mounts, which will reward you with a special dragon mount.

Recently a debate has come up over one of the "meta-achievements", which is a special achievement you earn for earning a bunch of smaller achievements. Still with me? I'll explain. Blizzard has several holiday events in-game that coincide with real life holidays like the Chinese New Year, the Fourth of July, and Christmas. All the holidays have various achievements associated with them, and if, over the course of the year, you complete ALL the required achievements, you get a special meta-achievement called "What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been..." and are rewarded with a special mount.

The meta-achievement in question is related to Brewfest, WoW's version of Oktoberfest. One of the achievements involved to get the meta requires you to have joined the "Brew of the Month Club" (something you could only do DURING Brewfest) and to sample their monthly brews for a year. Now, the Achievements system didn't come out until after Brewfest ended, thus leading many players to believe that requiring "Brew of the Year" to get the Brewfest meta-achievement is unfair, and threads have started in the Suggestions forum asking that it be removed.

Rather than sounding like I'm trying to justfy myself (since I'm in the thick of it, posting as "Alyrr"), I'll just point you guys to the thread and let you have your fun.

Nuuuuu! His Shtick!

2009-01-11T04:15:05Z

So, over on BRPS on LJ, a poster decides that a particular post style belongs to one person and one person alone. The mighty gay_bear has a shtick, you see. A manner of using a persona that obviously nobody else has ever done. safe_sock decides to speak in defence of his hero.
Why? Because of the first sentence of this post. Because obviously this person is not a ninja, and therefore must be using a persona, which is OMGSTEEEEEELING.
At the time of posting this, this person still hasn't bothered to comment over in that post. No, he decided to make his own post, to tell us all what we must not do.
STOPPIT. I MEAN IT.

He is, predictably mocked, and responds with vast amounts of splooge to the mockery. Obviously, anybody mocking him must be taking it personally and he has upset them(*gloatgloat*). Don't miss the posting the same comment in response to multiple other comments.

Posted over here instead of otf_wank because I A) deemed his mockery by BRPS members utterly, utterly deserved, and B) joined in, well before it occurred to me that it might be a wanky enough post to cart it over here for other people to laugh at.

Darth Ember is involved. Darth Ember is Lady Rilwen. Lady Rilwen is apparently ripping off gay_bear's shtick right now. Lady Rilwen would like to note that gay_bear has not commented as yet, and is apparently not involved except as the reason for safe_sock's CAPSLOCK OF RAAAAAGE.

MECHA IS SERIOUS BUSINESS (Or, "Spiral Power? I liked it better when it was Getter Rays")

2008-09-17T10:48:16Z

Well, I wasn't sure if this was better suited at Fandom_Rant or not, but at it's core is me wondering if I'm a bad fan or not, so there.

I am having a hard time discussing the fandoms I like because I do, admittedly, have a tendency to get defensive and hostile. (I am a autistic male in his early twenties.) but, when you get attacked and flamed on discussion forums like I do, it's some
times hard to deal with. I am a fan of Mecha, some Real Robot, but mostly of the Super Robot variety.

I have been growing very upset over the mediocrity of Gundam 00 and Macross Frontier. (one, I am of the opinion that Gundam hasn't been good since X, and that Macross has went to a dark and scary place since Zero.) I even sometimes go as far to say the only good Real shows anymore are Patlabor and VOTOMS, despite them being somewhat innaccessable, obscure, and not for everyne.

I don't know WHAT it is about Mainstream appeal, I'm just scared away by things like overly exessive fanservice, and things being different from my norm. In addition to a shitstorm that started because I have been very vocal about me feeling like Gundam 00 is no better than Wing, in addition to other thigns like poorly done Mobile Suit design. I just hate the characters. Setsuna F. Seiei is just Heero Yuy 2.0, Lockon Stratos, being the onyl character I could stand. Keep I mind I also hate Wing and SEED for the same reason, unlikable characters, and 00 feels the same. as for Macross Frontier, I am VASTLY upset because they focus on the Love Trianges too much, turning it into a borderly shoujo program. the special Ranka OP in episode 17 being one of the bigger offenders: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYIN256Yc_s

Basically with Gundam 00, it's the same problems that have been plaguaging the franchince due to Wing's Popularity+X and Turn A's unfortunate faulures, as well as the Gold Standard SEED Destiny achevied for the series, as I guess Real Robot is no loger "for me" anymore, as I have also been berated for Hating the malodrama of Code Geass. I miss the days of UC/X where the pilots were less whiney, and when they were, there was an awesome captain/father figure to set them straight, Brightslap etc.

Macross Frontier. I jsut feel a Macross Show should never had a focal point be a loli moeblob, and that the Valkyrie pilots (as well as the Valkyries and fightscenes themselves, are VERY lacking.) and again, focuses too much on teh shipz. I liked macross when it was about manly pilots like Roy Fokker and Max Genius, and Gamlin, and Kinryu, kicking ass, or awesome singers like BASARA singing aliens to death.

Then on the SUper side, I regularly get berated for not believing that TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN is not handed down on gold plates by God Himself. I am of the belief that TTGL is "okay at best" and like certain other Super Robot shows more. (Getter Robot (all of it's manga and OVa's as well.), GaoGaiGar/GaoGaiGar FINAL, Might Gaine, Gaiking Legend of Daikyu Maryu, Mazinkaiser, Kotetsushin Jeeg which I am still bitter that it fell off the radar directly because of GL fellatio. etc.) Let me make one thing REALLY CLEAR. I hate Studio GAINAX. after Gunbuster, they lost their magic, and only manage to have popularity with casuals because of EXCESSIVE FANSERVICE BEYOND BELIEVE and INCREDIBLY LOLWUT RANDOM PLOTS, be it through EVA mindscrew, or GL pissing over the conventions of Super Robot.

My MAIN gripe with GL, is the fact it seels itself too bad on it's OH GOD GAINAX HUEG
budget. just because it's pretty, doesn't make it good. Most of the characters are outright unbearable, the fight scenes have no structure whatsoever, the transformations/combinations are laughable, and it had the worst case of GAINAX END I have ever seen since END OF EVA,

I also don't like how it's fans act toward people who like other Super Robot shows. all this "GL is better than Getter Robo by default" talk for example. now, they argue that my opinions of Gurren Lagann are assinine because I hate the production company, and that I'm not happy if the show is not a quote "Monster of the Week Stock Footage Toy Commercial." I happen to like those things, Stock Footage, longer-better done Transformations, and Monster of the Week, are the very traditions that makes Super Robot what it is. You can't argue with Go Nagai's results! GaoGaiGar also had insane popularity in Japan, but since people love Gainax so very much, they have to bash things someone else likes better, because It's "Impossible for me to have a correct opinion" since I didn't like GL. Another thing I don't like it the ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWER song/meme. It's a terrible song i my opinion, and tried to convey as much in a civil fashion, and I get called names due to the fact that "GaoGaiGar's music is terrible." which is Subjective. I just don't like Rap. Engrish/Japanese rap especially. they obviously don't like traditional Hot Blooded Super Robot songs, which GaoGaiGar's soundtrack is known for.

Am, I, Am I really the bad guy in this? they said that I was Fan Dumb, and specifically, I'm "The Purist" from the TVTropes FanDumb entry. yet I have liked things produced after 1999. I am avid Digimon fan (another thing they call me out on despite my hatred of whiney bishonen in Gundam and such, the difference is I like the Drama in Digimon, as I find it better written than modern Gundam drama. and Digimon has other things, like HOT BLOOD and such to make up for it's drama.) Like I said, I like the 2000 Super Robot Revivals, I liked Kotetsushin Jeeg, and another Grudge I hold with GL as I said, is that it made the new Jeeg series fall under the radar. I also enjoyed the more recent Patlabor OVA's and Movies, I have been very much enjoying VOTOMS Pailsen Files. Am I really being a bad fan, here? as for the forum in question, here is where in the current thread that the latest fight has started: http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=65740&page=78

I know I should worry what people say about me on the internet, but am I really being the jerk here? and I fully admit I have problems with adapting to new things.

i_wank @ 2008-07-29T23:06:00

2008-07-30T04:20:52Z

So this is a very long and complicated story. BUT, since I doubt anyone actually cares about that, here's the summary.

Once upon a time, there was an RP game on Livejournal. It was fun. I was promoted to mod there by ankhutenshi, creator and ~~dictator~~ head mod of the game. It was even more fun. However, soon, I started to not like being a mod because I had no power. I was to do the core posts, but had little to no real say in the going ons of the game. I had the mod status simply because I could log into the mod journal. So I quit modding there. Me doing so caused a snowball effect. ankhutenshi said a lot of hateful hurtful things to me, former friend and mod. Likewise, I did some stupid shit, too. So I ended up leaving the game entirely and ignoring she lived.

So the other night, her name spams my f-list with an icon post. In one of them in the Jigoku Shoujo community (a fan comm for an anime series with the same name) she asks for credit for a certain icon. The icon in question, she originally took from me before our fallout. At the time, I had not credited the icon. Several days ago, however, I came across it. So despite better judgment, I commented with this helpful piece of credit info I had.

And was attacked. I knew I should've left it alone right then, but, of course, I didn't.

I ranted about it in my journal and linked it--bad move. My crazy friends--I love them so--decided to WTF at her. However THEN she went way too far with a friend of mine by insulting his gender and sexuality, which causes the post to be linked all over the place and people FLOCK to it to hate on her. Lastly she offers a very insincere apology to me that is practically forced out of her. And the wank is still going, though I've long since stopped caring.

Basically I need to learn to stop commenting at her. I always get dragged into wank when I do.

Edit: ANHKI HAS DELETED IT! Give me a moment and I'll upload some screenshots.

Edit1: Still working on the screenshots, but we have THIS for now. Thanks damien!

Edit2: OKAY! Here they all are. There's a lot, sorry.

The original icon credit wank.

1, 2, 3, 4 5 6 7 8

And then she gets personal and people call her out on it.

1 (missing text is "learn 2 gender, idiot") 2 3

More people getting involved. Oh dear.

1 2 3 4 5

And that's it before it was deleted!

Little wank. Little like Starscream.

2008-07-19T03:21:18Z

smart_blonde223 posts a reasonable rant to fanficrants regarding a rather awful example of surprise Transformer buttsex. Her response to the surprise was courteous, the author's response was less so. Lols are had by all.

Then the author shows up, and boy is she upset.

You, smartblonde223, are the biggest bitch in the world. I hope you burn in Hell and the rest of your family burn, too. You are a disgrace. Did you actually think you could come on here and RANT about MY story without me finding out? You're a fucking bitch, I hate you, and I hope you get run over by a truck. Youre a cocksucking motherfucking cunt, I hope you know. And your little friend sieberwing better not try to link anything, either.
Like I said in my previous post, I've changed it so that youre now banned and that you cant link back. have fun in hell, asshat.

She's so mad, in fact, that she deletes not only the fic but the entire Yahoo comm. More lols are had, while helena1234 tries desperately to make people take her seriously.

You "lol'd"? Laughing is the last thing youll be doing once i find out who you are bitch

you better take those photos down now or else i'll tell everyone your information

-----

no the worst thing that can happen to her is the fact that i know where she lives and if she doesnt take it down im going to send all of my friends to kick her ass

she lives in argentina and i know exactly wehere, too.

and mind your own damn business, slut (Not that the info will do her much good...)

Mere hours later, in a personality shift to rival Blitzwing's, she apologizes! So perhaps this is the last of that, or perhaps she shall return to us being mean. Or lead an invasion of Argentina to avenge her maligned fic.

It also seems to have landed at sf_drama, to much bogglement but no actual wank.

i_wank @ 2008-06-10T10:49:00

2008-06-10T17:50:17Z

YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF I WANKS!!!!

Pokemons are SRSBSNSS.

2008-06-08T18:45:31Z

On the Pokemons community, myuutsuuman posts a video about SSBB tiers, then goes comparing Pokemon tiers to SSBB tiers. The main bit?

While the video's basically regarding Smash Bros. (and parodies using the logic tournament players use), you can apply the same to competitive Pokemon players. Apparently, you become a "noob" or an idiot for not playing a video game that's built around customizing YOUR team with the way YOU want to play. Sure, there's some stupid choices that can be made (like a team of six Water-types or using a Fire-type with only Fire-type moves or having a Pokemon with Thunder, Blizzard, Fire Blast, and Hyper Beam), but really. Am I the only one who thinks the whole "competitive" aspect ruins the point of the games? They're called "games" for a reason; they provide entertainment and are meant to be fun. Not to be treated as a contest of who has the bigger e-peen in battling Pogeymanz.

People agree, disagree, complain about tiers, and fuss. Not major, but a touch wanky.

On iWank because I wanked. Competitive Gamers Creed my fucking ass.

--Neth

i_wank @ 2008-05-25T22:12:00

2008-05-25T21:19:49Z

Okay, so John Solomon of Your Webcomic Is Bad and You Should Feel Bad. I've been snarking at him on the comments of the blog ever since they came out of hiatus, but when he did his latest review on Dresden Codak, he engaged with me when I questioned him calling Kimiko a Mary Sue. And it went on from there,

zines are not meant for money - EVER

2008-02-19T06:10:37Z

I brainstorm a few ideas for fundraising through zines (I'm applying for the KaosPilots, a social enterprise school in Denmark) on zine_scene. One idea involves selling my collection. All hell breaks loose.

Should I Be Ashamed...

2008-01-13T06:57:23Z

That my very first post to any wank community is i_wank? I hope not, 'cause I'm not, 'cause it's too amusing.

*cough* Anyway.

In a day that will go down in World of Warcraft history -- at least as far as Moon Guard server is concerned -- the Horde staged an epic retaliatory set of raids on every Alliance capital city at once. Six racial leaders were brought down in 23 minutes (we're all very proud of that 23, you understand *sage nod*), with over a dozen guilds and more than 120 people involved.

As you might expect, the official Moon Guard forums are flooded with threads about the event, the vast majority of them being kudos from both sides for what went down. But of course, this couldn't be wank if it wasn't for one guy who insists on getting butthurt about the entire deal.

Galavis repeatedly informs us all that "It was not an accomplishment".

Why, may you ask? Well, because in Galavis' world, 8PM central time on a Saturday night isn't "peak hours". And we shouldn't be so proud of "[patting ourselves] on the back for waiting til no ones around and then [stealing] from the cookie jar," because apparently peak hours are "[between] 12:00 pm and 4:00pm EST." What follows is ~~four~~ five pages of people telling him to shut the hell up and sit the hell down (including one of his own guildmates), with him gleefully repeating himself and happily refusing to get the point. (ETA: I'm the blood elf rogue named Noishe who poked him first. *cough*)

Small, but tasty in the sense that WoW players really are experts when it comes to grasping at straws while telling the enemy faction just how hard they suck and why.

Knotty wanka!

2007-12-27T17:32:13Z

So, due to my wedding in three years, I joined "The Knot". It's a great website and my fiance and I have gotten a lot of good advice about weddings and budgeting and how not to kill each other on the big day.

We wanted a Browncoat wedding, to embrace our love of Firefly, my family's Asian influences (Granddaddy worked in the Foreign Service) and our love of weird tech. Now, I'm thinking, "I'm Captain of my own Firefly-class! I am only a pretty, pretty princess on the outside!" So, I wanted to try a bit of spiff I found in a book on handfastings: a mock duel.

Here's my post to "The Knot" forums.

My fiance and I are a couple of nerds. He's Wiccan, I'm Oddball Christian, so I picked up a book on handfastings that had tips on Interfaith marriages. While flipping through, I came across the concept of mock abductions and duels. Seeing as our wedding is as much a theatrical production as it is a ceremony of commitment, I was thinking of having a mock duel between the bridal party and the groom's party, in disguise as the villains of our favorite TV series. There will be a warning in the programs and we certainly won't use live steel (no firearms, but that goes without saying). Yet, a few problems have cropped up.

1) My dress will most likely have a hoopskirt/crinoline. I can work around the corset.
2) Fight Choreography could get tricky.
3) Where do we hide the weapons?

Any ideas? Or should I save the duel for the reception and wear a pant suit?

At first, I get a intrigued response. But then, this shows up.

Skip it.

This is a wedding, not some kind of funky theatrical production. It's also a lot of work.

I disagree, having been involved in my mother's Sci-Fi convention wedding and my best friend's perfectly mundane nuptuals. Others point out that "It's her wedding, she should do as she pleases". Others insist it's crazy and in poor taste.

I respond:

I think that, while my family might be surprised, they understand that my fiance and I are oddballs with our own interests. This is symbolic of the fact that neither of us is going to be submitting to anyone but will compromise and be partners and equals, rather than macho man and damsel in distress.

Does this sound more acceptable: the groom comes in, masked and disguised as a bad guy from the show (blue gloves and all, for those who get the reference. I process in like a good girl, but--hey!--who's this schmuck at the altar? I demand to know who he is and where's my boy, three times for symbolic sake. Finally, he removes his gloves and mask, and puts on his Browncoat and the ceremony proceeds as planned.

Is that better?

The next response?

No.

Admittedly this might not be wank. If it doesn't belong, delete it by all means.

Here's a link to the whole dog-and-pony show.
http://talk.theknot.com/boards/main_frame.aspx?page=ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=10

EDIT: Hi! WOW. Thanks for all the input. I was honestly expecting more "LOLZ Stupid Wanka!".

To those who think I'm looking for validation: I apologize. If I had been seeking validation, I wouldn't have come here. I came here to laugh at myself for going to a fairly mainstream place with my fandom schtick and to share the joke. Thanks for laughing. You were laughing, right? Would a pie to my face have helped at all?

To those with advice: Thank you. I'm taking copious notes. The reason I'm waiting three years is a) after a six-year engagement, starting my senior year, three more won't kill us and b) it gives us time to save up, plan and do this right.

For god's sake someone nail my hands down.

2007-12-09T22:30:37Z

So, I made a somewhat ill-advised metaquote, thinking purely, "heh, my ex is being bitchy to narrow-minded men in rural pubs again".

Etana wishes me to know that the disabled are not amused.

Sadly, I cannot leave well enough alone. Gonadsandstrife makes a satirical remark. Etana responds with what *I* consider to be a stunning lack of humour and I think I slightly exacerbated matters.

It's wee. I suspect that if I don't go to bed or get distracted it could get a lot worse.

Small but entertaining.

2007-12-09T09:57:51Z

I wanked about pony colors. Well, sort of? Does bear-baiting count as wanking? I'd expected this sort of response, and yet I still did it. I couldn't help myself? Bear in mind that I'm about as mild-mannered a person as they come. I presented proof that someone else didn't steal her character idea and...well... ta-da. Insta-word-vomit.

There's some prime-grade crazy over there, watch yo'selves.

Edit: %*!# RTF Formatting. Didn't even notice the formatting bar; I should be shot.
Son of Edit: Why we're talking about peacocks in the first place. Wait. Weren't we? Brief comment about what spurred this whole thing in the first place. As far as how I knew she even existed... well... that's a long story, and I'd been happily avoiding her until I saw her id on my dA account's list of watchers.

Make me stop...please

2007-11-13T03:07:48Z

I'm wanking about bottled water.

Someone stop me.

Forgive me Cleo.

Everyone's a Little Bit Racist

2007-11-01T03:56:21Z

*Rod Serling Voice*

Witness the General Discussion board on Democratic Underground, a liberal message board I frequent often. GD wanks like nobody's business; I've wanked it before on political_wank, but this wank I dove headfirst into, thus it's here.

Someone posts an article on Dog Chapman, aka Dog the Bounty Hunter, being caught on tape using racial epithets about his son's black girlfriend. People express outrage, and generally cheer A&E's decision to suspend production of Chapman's show.

Except one Sukie1941, who thinks everyone's being a big ol' meanie head because hey, who hasn't called someone a N*****?

I have followed this story all evening and I support Dog
The tapes were PRIVATE! Whether they were decent or not, they were PRIVATE and sold to the highest bidder. Dog did NOT put those tapes on the airways like you suggest!

It was not the ethnicity of his son's girlfriend, it was her behavior.

I have spewed my distaste for the behavior of others to my friends and family, and sometimes it is anger towards my friends and family, several of whom are black. I called my own daughter a tramp when she temporarily left her husband and tiny kids in Australia, took her family's savings, and came to Oregon to meet a construction worker she met on the internet. I could think of a few other words I could have called her, because I was not only angry but devastated.

People get angry, and I think Dog was really angry with his son.

A&E suspended the show before they even heard the tapes.

How many of you posters have never used slurs of any kind towards others, present or not??????

I read the work fuck and its derivatives on DU all the time and I find it offensive, but I don't complain. Blacks call themselves N's and they call whites far worse.

Of course, I wasn't about to take that lying down, so I got my revolotion and cranked one out: (her comments in bold)

Wow, you're a real piece of work
It was not the ethnicity of his son's girlfriend, it was her behavior.

So when someone does something you don't like, it's alright to use ethnic/sexual slurs on them?

How many of you posters have never used slurs of any kind towards others, present or not??????

Me. I will drop F-bombs like nobody's business, I cuss like a sailor I admit it, but never in my life have I ever used a slur.

Blacks call themselves N's and they call whites far worse.

Welcome to DU, Mr. Imus!

Too many choice highlights here, but a couple:

Sukie trots out her "black relatives" and doesn't know what a cracker is.

FredScuttle posts a photo of Sukie's family reunion.

Also, Sukie can't be racist, she dated a few black men, even!

I promise this is the last Maple Story wank I'll ever post.

2007-10-30T22:44:18Z

... maybe.

So this is going in i_wank because I had to put my two cents in. The stupid was just too intense.

In the MMO Maple Story, there are lots of pop culture references. Little nods to anime/TV/movies/books/etc. that geeks tend to get a big kick out of. Sometimes these references are found in character's names, sometimes in the accessories you can dress your pixel person in, sometimes in quotes said by NPCs, and so on and so forth. Common sense would dictate these are harmless parodies of the 'nudge nudge wink wink' variety...

Zap feels differently. Clearly Nexon is 'ripping off' things and must be stopped! Others chime in to help him/her/it compile a list of what the sneaky sneaky company is trying to steal! Voices of reason are mostly ignored.

It all hurt me very much to read. Now it can hurt you too.

From Kotaku: Fall Out Boy playing Halo3 on October 12th.

2007-10-16T19:07:57Z

Emo Hunks Want To Play Halo 3 With You.

Cue a page and some wank about popular music, the definition of emo, and these durn kids.

If you'll excuse me, I have to listen to Radiohead's In Rainbows.

My contribution here.

Forgive me, mockers...

2007-10-06T10:32:13Z

... for I have gravely sinned.

It all starts off when Harpsi Fizz pops up in one of peachespig’s posts and everyone starts to get a bit riled up, with the usual pattern of “JKR sucks” – “Oh no you didn’t” – “I can’t understand why you won’t accept my valid criticism” – “ STFU” – “Have at it, cult-heads!”

But things get really ugly when one of Harpsi Fizz’s pals from anti_hg, Sexehsmirk, shows up to defend her. I reply. She replies. We both wank like fiends and manage to bring the venom to a dizzying pinnacle in an already hostile environment.

I call her an emo kid and a spinster. She calls me a frustrated virgin and a flaming cunt. I tell her to seek professional help. She successively calls me a sex-starved teenage girl, a middle-aged woman with the mind of a ten-year old and finally a future single mother (unless I’m infertile). I call her a desperate basketcase, a fat loser and post excerpts of her LJ entries in another thread. She tells me I must not have seen she goes to Columbia, which proves that she’s in fact very smart. I break out the macro, attempt a smear campaign by replying to other posters arguing with her, the thread is frozen, she breaks out the macro, and only a prompt bannination can put a merciful end to our bullshit.

As for me, I'm left feeling very sheepish at having flooded

peachespig's inbox with crap and quite embarrassed to have posted a picture of porcupines having sex in his journal. And for that, I will fully accept a good flogging.