|
|
Thursday, June 18th, 2009
| |
3:51 pm - Pet intelligence wank
|
tree
|
The Guardian: Cats outsmarted in psychologist's test.
You can imagine how well this goes with the readers. Besides the predictable flood of pet owner butthurt and anecdotes of clever / stupid cats / dogs / mice / owls, there are plenty of genuinely funny comments as well as a side wank on the validity of test methods and statistics, obligatory calls to talk about world hunger instead or discuss the intelligence of various nationalities, and, naturally, Hitler and his pets make a bonus appearance. I think one could play classical wank bingo in here, but some of the stories make it all worthwhile.
|
|
(165 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, June 17th, 2009
| |
10:38 pm - Don't call me Liz, BITCH.
|
angstymcgoth
|
Possible ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif) political_wank? I'm posting it here, since the "politics" are largely incidental. So-and-so asks Jim McDermott's secretary for an audience, and addresses her poorly ('Liz' rather than 'Elizabeth'). HOLY SHIT, you did not just go there!
A few weeks ago, the assistant e-mailed Becton seeking a meeting with McDermott and a client, JPMorgan Chase. Days later, the assistant checked back in and unfortunately began the e-mail with “Hi Liz.”
Becton curtly replied, “Who is Liz?”
When the assistant wrote back with an apology, Becton turned up the heat. “I do not go by Liz. Where did you get your information?” she asked.
The back-and-forth went on for 19 e-mails, with the assistant apologizing six times if she had “offended” Becton, while Becton lectured about name-calling.
Please, please check out the email exchange hosted on Politico.
|
|
(154 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, June 6th, 2009
| |
1:02 pm - As a slash fan and writer, I'd appreciate a bit more respect.
|
|
| Friday, June 5th, 2009
| |
1:43 am - Take me out to the ballgame so I can sue your ass.
|
ari_o
|
Tony LaRussa is the manager of the St. Louis Cardinals, but not the Tony La Russa posting on twitter. So Tony is suing twitter "claiming an unauthorized page that used his name to make light of drunken driving and two Cardinals pitchers who died damaged his reputation and caused emotional distress."
He was found drunk and asleep behind the wheel of an SUV with its engine running. I don't think he needs help damaging his reputation. And his butthurt comes with lawyers.
|
|
(28 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, June 4th, 2009
| |
2:56 pm - My Clothes are For Everyone - except YOU.
|
|
| |
12:06 pm - Street Preacher, Internet Shitshow: Batshit Boogaloo
|
caito
|
Dan Lirette is a bag of small, cheesy dicks. We've already been over it, but let's review:
( Cut for unfunny. )
And now, hear this.
Since the baby died, the SA thread was closed and goldmined, but Dan Lirette is still busy being butthurt. His new target is Encyclopedia Dramatica, which has articles on both him and the intern (I shouldn't have to warn you about disturbing images on ED, right? Two words: dead baby). He decided to fight fire with fire and created his own version of ED called Encyclopedia Parodia. The anonymous source on wank_report says that EP was once filled with ""hilarious" articles slandering everyone who dared to go against him, including SA and EA member ZoSoZodiac, whom he offered a $500 reward for the personal information of." Unfortunately, Dan Lirette has a habit of bahleeting, which is why I had to link to Google cache. Lucky for lulz, there are screencaps and quotes on Dan Lirette's ED page.
Additionally, the autoaim links in the previous post are now blank, allegedly due to a C&D from Dan (autoaim previously hosted mirrors of Dan's wacky preacher videos, now all completely deleted). ETA: Actually, I guess Dan Lirette is completely mad. Carry on.
Dan's home forum, moncton.net, in the meantime has been devastated by warring between SA goons and moderator Paladin. From what remains, it's pretty clear that Paladin loves deleting just as much as Dan Lirette does, and will eliminate not only anything that reflects badly on Dan Lirette, but anything that seems even vaguely suspicious. This has the effect of making the forum look like Swiss cheese, with half-empty threads that now lack logic and leaving regulars either angry or confused. Moncton.net, and its companion chat room, were eventually shut down; it even made the local news!
The source concludes with:The only thing that would make this whole situation even crazier is if he found caito's post and decided to team up with Lady Sybilla to ruin caito's life. (Though, the combined power of their narcassism might create a black hole...) I am torn between epic lulz and do not want.
|
|
(62 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, June 1st, 2009
| |
5:52 pm - The, you fucking shithead. The.
|
doomsday
|
This is a short and sweet one-man show, but it packs quite a wallop.
David Mack, the author of several Star Trek novelizations and other assorted works, is displeased with the copyediting of his current book. According to him, the editor was much too heavy-handed, essentially rewriting his material. So he calmly informed his publisher and they sorted everything out in a manner that left all parties involved satisfied.
Oh wait, I mean he posted a threatening rant on his public journal. I always mix those two up!
Die, Stupid Copy Editor, Die!
31 May 2009 in Personal | No comments
Some stupid (and luckily for him/her, anonymous) copy editor apparently took it upon him/herself to almost completely rewrite the manuscript for my latest novel, Star Trek Vanguard: Precipice. I learned this when I was handed a stack of pages slathered in so much red ink that I thought it had been left at the scene of an ax murder.
This idiot copy editor is going to wind up wasting a week of my time, because that’s how long it’s going to take me to go through the novel page by page with an eraser, undoing the damage this motherfucker has wrought upon my prose.
Jackass copyeditor who did this, whoever you are, if you read this, don’t ever fucking touch one of my books again. And pray to whatever god you believe in that I never find out who you are or where you live.
Die, you fucking shithead. Die.
Shockingly, David received some private negative feedback about this post and deleted it. But don't worry—the one he replaced it with is longer, whinier, and just as entertaining.
( ETA: The second post is gone now, too, but I saved the text )
|
|
(78 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, May 25th, 2009
| |
1:53 pm - Homophonia
|
ari_o
|
Over at Awkward Family Photos Greg has some tips to make the site better. And the site posts his "unintetional" but hilarious email.
Comments range from LOL to STFU. It's pretty polite.
Greg realizes the error of his ways.
"I walked headfirst, hubristically into that trap. And honestly, because I don’t post on the internet much, it was sort of thrilling to BE the douchebag laughingstock who gets slammed by a gazillion anonymous di**-weeds taking pot shots."
Some of the commentors think he's funny and taking it well. Others are wondering what "the internets" are. His email sounded kind of passive agressive to my tin ear.
Mostly I'm just looking though the amazing photos.
eta: Bonus wank! NSFW or possibly your gag reflex. (Photo of small child playing with knitted peen. So if that's a trigger? Do not click.) :D Thanks ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif) missm. I think.
|
|
(98 comments | comment on this)
|
| |
2:18 pm - Adult Novelty Wank
|
|
| Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
| |
5:05 pm - Olive to Wank
|
|
| Saturday, May 2nd, 2009
| |
9:27 pm - Grendel: Real Ultimate Power!
|
|
| Wednesday, April 29th, 2009
| |
11:57 am - The day the Earth went to wank.
|
mochibuni
|
Hey! It was Earth day not too long ago! Yay! In celebration of Earth Day, Jen over at Cake Wrecks decides to post about Earth Day related cakes gone horribly wrong.
Jen includes a cake intended to be Spaceship Earth (ETA: that she made, by the way) and makes a joke about it. Fortunately Jen's readership is ready and willing to let her know that the cake is actually Epcot, about 200 times. The comments are wanky, hilarious, and generous amounts of ass kissing towards the end.
This does not bode well with Jen's inner Disney child, and she amends her post with the following:
" To the scores of you telling me this is supposed to be Disney's Epcot Center: Um, yeah, I know. See, the ball at Epcot is called Spaceship Earth, NOT Epcot. Give a Diz Geek a little credit, eh?"
Unfortunately her inner Disney child is still smarting as the next post is provided by her husband, his explanation being...
"Hey everybody. This is john (the hubby of Jen) taking on today's post since Jen is...um...busy. Yeah. So how 'bout that post yesterday, huh? It's like one minute everything's all hunky-dory, and then next thing I know Jen's threatening to strike over something to do with a Disney font. Last I saw, she was on the couch in her memory foam slippers with a pint of Chunky Monkey and watching SGA reruns. I believe her exact words to me were, "YOU write it!!!" And I see the facial tic is back. Greeeaaat."
This, of course, starts a game of finger pointing.
And cake was had by all!
ETA 2: If two posts of butthurt wasn't enough for you, Jen also likes to tweet about it!
Relevant tweets:
# I love you guys. Really, I do. But if ONE MORE PERSON tells me the cake today is the ball from Epcot, so help me, I will not post tomorrow.9:04 AM Apr 28th from web
# No really, for fun, go count how often I'm told you can tell it's Epcot by the Disney font: http://tinyurl.com/d3zrn7 (*headdesk* & repeat!)9:05 AM Apr 28th from web
# In case some of you thought I was making idle threats yesterday: http://tinyurl.com/cgm6fk (Hats off to John for stepping up!)10:03 AM Apr 29th from web
# The comments today are nearly as entertaining as yesterday's. Still, y'all be nice: nobody's an idiot OR a moron, k? Can't we all get along?10:09 AM Apr 29th from web
ETA 3: As pointed out by willywanka, apparently Blogger is responsible for bahleeted comments on Cake Wrecks.
franticallysimple puts it best, "Does this mysterious comment deletion have anything to do with the Epcot Center, now owned by Disney?"
|
|
(122 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
| |
1:06 pm - Bakery wank, anyone?
|
meagenimage
|
Okay, this is small, but full of delicious WTF. It's also entirely in Polish - luckily for you all, it's my native language, and thus I can offer you a full translation!
A bit of background: I'm moving to Scotland this summer, my fiance will be attending the University of Dundee, so we're hoping to get a small place together. Last time I was in Scotland for longer than a month, I started really missing Polish-style bread, so I'm wondering if there's anywhere I could get that while I'm in Dundee without having to resort to my family mailing me some.
A quick Google search brings me to Emito.net, a community website for Polish immigrants in the UK. From there, a search for "dundee bakery" finds me this discussion thread.
All smallcaps and giant leaps of logic were faithfully preserved from the original.
( looking for confectionery or bakery in dundee )
And so, that baffling aside done, the rest of the thread proceeds on the original topic, someone recommends a Polish baker who does cakes on demand, and I find out that apparently Polish bread can be found in most large supermarkets in Dundee. Score!
|
|
(118 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, April 19th, 2009
| |
11:16 am - Let me tell you a few things about my friend Roy G. Biv
|
|
| Friday, April 17th, 2009
| |
4:05 pm - But why isn't your book selling?
|
white_serpent
|
It's all the fault of literary agents, who are single-handedly destroying literature everywhere!
Excerpt:
The substantial and nearly unassailable wall that separates you from us has been under construction for decades. You can find the names of its architects and gatekeepers on your telephone-callers list, and in your email in-box. They are the literary agents—that league of intellectual-property purveyors who bring you every new manuscript you ever see, those men and women who are so anxious to gain access to the caverns of treasure they believe you sit upon like some great golden goose that they would likely hack one another’s heads off were they not united by one self-serving mission: to ensure that quality fiction never hits your desk.
Just a tiny bit of entitlement, elitism, and self-delusion.
And some responses...
|
|
(186 comments | comment on this)
|
| Friday, April 3rd, 2009
| |
12:18 pm - So small, yet so sweet
|
tree
|
This shit is bananas!
(Edit: first icon in replies is NSFW, might be others too; otherwise it's just bizarre threads on food consumption.)
current mood: bright yellow
|
|
(34 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, March 30th, 2009
| |
1:49 am - Same sex couples physically can’t have children, therefore, there is no point to the relationship.
|
|
| Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
| |
1:58 am - Wesleyan University Wank
|
so_long42
|
So, there's this group on the campus of Wesleyan University (in CT) called Eclectic. They used to be a fraternity, but went co-ed, and subsequently were forcibly separated from their alumni association when they burned "fuck the alums" into the lawn of their house. They are famous for having sold all of their furniture for cocaine, and also for throwing awesome concerts and large sweaty all-campus dance parties (which themselves are famous for the MDMA present).
Naturally, a place like that is going to cause some problems. Namely, they have been shut down for the semester. The reason this is exciting is because Wesleyan is a very web 2.0 campus, with both an active student run blog (linked above) and a super-active Anonymous Confession Board, the latter of which has a lot to say. A TON. Opinions. Conspiracy theories.
Jokes.
There is of course a segment of campus that is outraged, and a petition is circulated. Even people who claim to be unassociated have strong pro-Ecletic, anti-student government opinions.
However, people are skeptical that Eclectic is in the right. They remain unconvinced weeks later.
Eventually, outrage dies down and the zeitgeist shifts, so the Sound Co-Op, which provides cheap PA systems and setup for the whole campus (and is populated primarily by Eclectic members), decides that they be boycotting the ENTIRE CAMPUS until Eclectic is served justice (i.e. reopened without consequence). General sentiment is that this is ridiculous and calculated. Meanwhile, there is a lot of very deep-cut Wesleyan handwringing about our reputation as an "activist" status.
ETA: And the petition is now closed due to "spam," ie trolling (no, I'm not concerned that it was anyone here).
|
|
(102 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, March 22nd, 2009
| |
10:51 pm - Save a horse, whack a cowboy
|
notjo
|
Oh, ponies. Like so many girls who grew up in the city, I think ponies are ace. They can do anything and are awesome and some of them even talk in your head and make you all emo & special. I <3 (imaginary) ponies, for they are perfect.
As with all things awesome and squee worthy, there is a Live Journal community for squeeing! Over ponies! (But not imaginary ponies, real ponies, so these ponies do not give you magical Mary Sue powers, woe, so the community is actually more like "Let's talk about our horses and discuss things about horsemanship." I am very disappointed at the lack of "how to have sex on my emo magical pony" posts.) It's pretty-heavily female, as one would imagine, so when a Boy Pony Owner shows up, there's a bit of !!! Boy! going on.
Boy Pony Owner is Chuck McDonald, aka wildhorseblog, aka "I know everything because I am a boy, don't you know?" He first introduces himself to the comm in a wank-free post on March 18, which I am only mentioning because his inevitable [SPOILER!] FLOUNCE! occurs on March 21.[/SPOILER!]
( cut because you already know this story, honestly )
I think Boy Pony Owner could have done better on the dismount, myself, but then, I think ponies should be silver with blue eyes and special angst-adding abilities.
current mood: uncomfortable
|
|
(117 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, March 18th, 2009
| |
11:04 pm - Oooh, the shrinkage!
|
singe
|
Over on Best Week Ever (a blog of the VH1 show of the same name that I discovered while clicking around on Steve Colbert's site) I found this highly fascinating account of Eric Nies stripping himself bare to save his dog from an icy lake. Nies is, apparently, the "hot guy from the Grind" if you were wondering.
WELL! There are very few comments but it seems like every one of them is a misspelled slap at people who are misspelling their comments.
Smashley sez: @ @ EL G: Technically it would be: “THESE ARE the type of people who also read this blog and comment.” You are referring to two seperate people who made mistakes in their comments. And you know the old saying, “people who live in glass houses…” I wouldn’t criticize others without at least proofreading my own comment. (I really hope I didn’t make a grammatical mistake in this comment…)
There's also some conjecture as to WHY IS HE NAKED as well as a fan who is a little too defensive of the guy's career. Ah, chilly willy, I was amused all around.
|
|
(26 comments | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
