|
|
Wednesday, August 27th, 2008
| |
7:21 pm - How dare you talk about our relationship without my consent.
|
kittikattie
|
Over in fanficrants, bittersweetwish fusses about how Twu Wuv (with a human W) and said expression of love does not generally come after the first damn date, and most relationships take time to blossom into the hot wubbings.
nanuq459 agrees and in a discussion sums up a past relationship thusly:
Seriously, we were friends for a long time but then she cornered me, asked if I had feelings for her, and then it was pretty much:
Me: Let's see if this works ou--
Her: *TACKLEGLOMP*
....and then the other half of the failed relationship, mercuryblue144, shows up with a curt and simple "Fuck you too." And there is drama.
Bonus wankish on metaquotes, where mercuryblue144 is upset that the quote was still metaquoted--even though the other half said it.
It's not very big, just really...weird. I mean, no one would have ever known anything if she'd been quiet.
--Neth
current mood: Mundane
|
|
(114 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, August 23rd, 2008
| |
3:06 am - Olympic wank decathlon
|
squeakthemouse
|
Previously on the wank Olympics, we had some Phelps wank. Now, have some Bryan Clay wank!
It all begins when the Honolulu Advertiser posts an article on its webpage announcing Clay's decathlon gold (I was having trouble with the site on firefox, but works just fine on safari... it could be my computer, which has been having serious issues lately, but I just thought I'd let you know). Unfortunately, I can't link directly to comments, so I'll cut and paste the highlights.
( You couldn't hold Brian's jockstrap, loser. )
|
|
(23 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, August 21st, 2008
| |
2:08 pm - Bad Review Tempertantrums -- Not Just for Amateurs Anymore
|
pyratejenni
|
Over on Dear Author, Jane posts about an author overreacting to bad Amazon.com reviews
The author's fans are quick to point out that Jane is just jealous, a meanie, has no life, etc. And the author herself responds. The comments have been deleted, but ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif) breecita saved them
( Pro making ass of herself under the cut )
Whiny pros! Whinier fans! Passive-aggressive smilies!
All we need is a flounce, a sobbing vow to Never Write Again, and/or a pseudocide.
ETA: Thanks to carlanime, a prequel of sorts.
ETA2: Crap, wrong link, wrong potential post. If anyone wants to write up about possibly fraudelent conniving, lying, soul-bonding-is-my-religion! roommates from hell, drop a line.
|
|
(83 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, August 19th, 2008
| |
10:36 am - Methinks even a "good" poster couldn't help your formulaic romantic comedy
|
|
| Sunday, August 17th, 2008
| |
5:17 pm - 400m freestyle wank
|
lottelita
|
Record-smashing Olympic swimmer and half-naked hottie Michael Phelps has a Facebook page, where his fans can post comments about their sincere appreciation for his athletic achievements. That's clearly what one FB user had in mind when he created the discussion "How many guys wanna #*%^ Michael?" Some of Michael's sweet and innocent fans don't appreciate this depraved line of conversation. Others tell them to lighten up. Censorship is invoked, religions are bashed, butts are hurt, homophobia is paraded about, Godwins gets a nod, and I'm just waiting for the swimslash to show up. Or Michael. Michael should definitely show up.
|
|
(52 comments | comment on this)
|
| Friday, August 8th, 2008
| |
6:03 pm - Journalistic flounce!
|
nam_jai
|
One of those things where it's really just one person (er, possibly two?) being wanky, but if you love a good plagiarism scandal as much as I do -- most particularly when the accused follows the script so familiar from fandom to the letter -- it's pretty entertaining.
So, Slate writer Jody Rosen is made aware that one of his articles has been plagiarized in a small Texas weekly called the Montgomery County Bulletin, under the byline of one "Mark Williams." Further digging (detailed in that link) turns up many, many Bulletin articles plagiarized from sources ranging from USA Today and The Guardian to (*snerk*) customer reviews on Amazon.
After this draws some attention from Gawker and the Houston Press, plus some sniffing the air catching the scent of a story by NPR and the New York Observer, Bulletin publisher Mike Ladyman is shutting down the paper, taking his toys and going home! That meanie Rosen "truly acts like the rock-and-roll or the music critic" and is guilty of "an attack, an attention-grabbing hatchet job." Even though Ladyman doesn't really deny the plagiarism. It was just inadvertent. Mark Williams meant to be copying press releases, or something.
He does, however, deny the Houston Press's insinuations of sockpuppetry shenanigans. Ladyman insists that Williams is a real person.
Indeed, Williams is real enough to have his feelings hurt, and this is where the plagiarist's script so familiar from fandom gets whipped out:
( Some highlights )
So, this Jody Rosen -- a mean girl (despite being male) in the world of journalism, Y/Y?
|
|
(42 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, July 31st, 2008
| |
5:18 pm - (This space left silent)
|
altoidsaddict
|
Searching through various communities in an attempt to get mime wank, it seemed like most were staying silent on the issue. Searching through page after page to try to find even small dust-ups was like walking into the wind, and I began to feel trapped in a box. There was something about mimes and clowns with seething hatred for Juggalos, but that's not so much wank as a reasoned, intelligent position.
Anyway, thank god for MetaFilter. There's not much wank here - Robert Shields is a perv! It's because people hate the French! They clog up the traffic in Bogota! But what it lacks in vitriol and hatred it makes up for in, well, mimes jumping in front of cars.
But the real question is: Did mimes cause 9/11? Warning: Enya.
Please, no mime-bashing.
|
|
(38 comments | comment on this)
|
| |
10:29 am - Facebook upgrade
|
chaimonkey
|
Facebook is trying on a new layout, and it blows.
Most people hate it and want the old layout back. There are comparisons to MySpace. The white space is burning everyone's retinas. Many defenders jump in with "change happens, get used to it." Everyone wants their customization back. It won't work with IE or anything older than FF 3.0. There is panic as people can't find the "opt out" link, or it won't work. Ads suck. Apps have disappeared. Etc.
Murder and mayhem roam the streets of the Intarwebs!
Some gems (last names removed for privacy):
( Read more... )
( William and Kevin: Defenders of Facebook! )
...And it goes on.
current mood: Candy-Coated
|
|
(50 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, July 28th, 2008
| |
10:33 pm - Scalzi snarks people, story at 11
|
alya1989262
|
So Scalzi makes a post about receiving a boring email from "one of those nutbag childfree folks". Gretchen shows up and takes exception to his description of childfree people. To which Scalzi responds by basically telling her to shut the hell up. There is some back and forth between the two of them, before the thread turns to a discussion of childfree lifestyle between other commenters.
That is, until electric_bonzai jumps in, presumably linked from cf_hardcore. Several commenters respond to tell them how wrong, wrong and utterly wrong cf people are.
Scalzi makes a second post, snarking both Gretchen and, especially, the person who commented on cf_hardcore with a "lesson" for him. The snark is, as always, delicious:
spitzandeyeball: 1. Internets 101: When you publish something on a public blog and neglect to disable the comment function, you have already given readers your permission to reply. This little slice of Internet magic is also known as the First Amendment.
Scalzi: Reading this person’s understanding of how the First Amendment applies in these instances is like being slathered in a thick coat of ignorant, and then being put out into the sun to dry out before a second coat is applied, which itself will be topped off by a sealant of complete and utter stupid, and lightly drizzled with a glistening varnish of epic fail.
More comments from people baffled at the thought of a childfree comm. Baffled, I tell you.
Back at the first post, Scalzi and Gretchen make up, though that doesn't stop people from continuing to share their thoughts over multiple comments.
|
|
(34 comments | comment on this)
|
| |
10:44 am - I know it because of my psychic learnings
|
|
| Sunday, July 27th, 2008
| |
3:06 pm - It's gone critical!
|
trisandrockets
|
Or, competition to be the most self-righteous of all!
So in Seattle on Friday night there was the monthly Critical Mass event. (For those who don't know Critical Mass, it's a biking event where a large group of bikers mass together and bike through a city.) It took a violent turn when an annoyed driver hit some of the cyclists, then had his car attacked and got beaten up himself when he came out of his car. Yes, that is not funny, but it gets there, really.
The Slog, the blog of Seattle's alt-weekly the Stranger, picked up the story on Saturday. And that's where it gets generally entertaining.
The first post originally was just a mention of it happening, but was then edited to contain two conflicting eyewitness reports. And that's when the comments start, as well. Many have some irritated things to say about Critical Mass. Many people have critical things to say about the people who have critical things to say about Critical Mass. Some people are just being dicks.
Extremely pro-biking (and general troll-magnet, whatever she posts on Slog) writer Erica C. Barnett makes her first post, and there's more comment grumpiness, as well as a bit of name-calling. Fairly tame.
Another writer, Jonothan Golob, rants about the actual street that this took place on. More bitching. Check out Samantha at 25- she's copy-pasted her (rather long) rant into each comment.
Now, Erica has an opinion. As do the people in the comments- I'm particularly fond of the exchange between comments 16 and 30:
Also: why are so many slog commentators so hostile to bicyclists, to critical mass, and to anything that smacks of even mild civil disobedience? It seems like the majority of comments come from people with barely disguised vigilante fantasies, which is scary.
Posted by Trevor | July 26, 2008 8:52 PM
@16 "mild civil disobedience"??? What bullshit. You obviously know NOTHING about civil disobedience.
God, bring back the good old days of ACT UP! and Queer Nation and the like when people were performing acts of civil disobedience FOR A PURPOSE.
Your CM parades are no more of a "civil disobedience" than online petitions demanding the return of One Calorie Diet Coke to your local Fred Meyer.
Another eyewitness report! And he's a lawyer. Comment irritation approaching...uh, large amounts.
This eyewitness also claims that no one 'surrounded' the driver. In this comment thread, a new version of Godwin's Law is called for, probably as a result of this...
I agree with #24. Critical Mass is more of a local terrorist group than any sort of "civil" disobedience group and should be treated as such. Your terrorist tactics are made even more dangerous by your mob mentality and lack of leadership. I'm sure you'll ALL come forward in your pot-smoke smelling rags and plead your case as the down-trodden underdogs who pedal for peace instead of drive to fuel the oil companies pockets. But, that doesn't give you the right to beat drivers to death because you don't like them. We don't like you either. Posted by WestSeattleCyclist | July 27, 2008 9:34 AM
DING DING DING. Is there a Godwin's Law corollary for "terrorist"? If so, we have a winner!
Posted by pox | July 27, 2008 9:45 AM
Finally, this morning, Slog got a report from the driver. It's worth reading mostly for this phrase, of the driver describing the situation: “I’m gay, the person with me was a lesbian and we were a attacked by eco-terrorists. It’s the most Seattle thing that could have happened." Most commenters like the driver's statement more than the Critical Mass eyewitnesses, since he says he's sorry, at least in the first few comments. Then, they start bickering over how he could have not known he was in first gear. And then it goes in several different directions of wank.
A commenter relates a very long story about how his friend once pulled a knife on a driver that tried to hit him, which was apparently the right thing to do in that situation. Someone else disagrees. They debate who is a dumbass.
In another continuing theme, The charming skeptic thinks that everyone against Critical Mass is a cop. Like Porkchop Sandwiches, who thinks that Critical Mass might be breaking the law by blocking traffic all the time. Skeptic thinks Porkchop is definitely a cop, because why else would he think that's a problem?
There's also the continuing theme of Critical Mass as some form of civil disobedience- Judah, who posted the story about his friend pulling a knife on the driver, compares cyclists/CM participants to King, Gandhi, and the Black Panthers. He then gets called a sanctimonious fucker. Another call for a new corollary of Godwin's Law- this time about groups comparing themselves to Civil Rights groups (he may have a point there). Judah does not like people making fun of him, and tries to win obscurity points by instead comparing the situation to pea growers v. corn growers in central Washington, while also calling one of his critics an 'argumentative little weasel'.
In the latest Slog post, Erica suggests that readers contact local media to complain. Some attacks on Erica's journalistic integrity ensue. rb is still wondering what Critical Mass protests have ever actually done, which causes another commenter to snap back asking what any parade has ever done? rb responds by saying, at least they have permits, and also do these things.
Skeptic still thinks everyone against him is a cop. #7 Rider thinks Skeptic is being a jerk. Skeptic does not believe that #7 Rider really rides the bus, because the only proof that Skeptic has is that #7 Rider says he/she rides the bus.
Gadfly says that everyone- cyclist, driver, cops, media- fails on an epic scale.
I am inclined to agree with him.
And this is likely to be ongoing. Just wait until it's Monday and all the regulars get back...
And, if Slog isn't enough, bonus wank from pishbadlarr: the Seattle community at Livejournal and lots of it on the seattlebikes community as well.
but wait! there's more! (from quartz): wank in the comments from another blog, including corking = kidnapping/false imprisonment! (Side note: man, bikers are angry at those Critical Mass sorts, aren't they?)
|
|
(118 comments | comment on this)
|
| |
1:14 pm - Sorry to go on. Anger, real steaming fucking anger can make a man verbose.
|
notjo
|
(But it can't make him use the shift key consistently.)
Giles Coren would like you to know that "a" is very srs bsn:
3) And worst of all. Dumbest, deafest, shittest of all, you have removed the unstressed 'a' so that the stress that should have fallen on "nosh" is lost, and my piece ends on an unstressed syllable. When you're winding up a piece of prose, metre is crucial. Can't you hear? Can't you hear that it is wrong? It's not fucking rocket science. It's fucking pre-GCSE scansion. I have written 350 restaurant reviews for The Times and i have never ended on an unstressed syllable. Fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck.
I am sorry if this looks petty (last time i mailed a Times sub about the change of a single word i got in all sorts of trouble) but i care deeply about my work and i hate to have it fucked up by shit subbing. I have been away, you've been subbing joe and hugo and maybe they just file and fuck off and think "hey ho, it's tomorrow's fish and chips" - well, not me. I woke up at three in the morning on sunday and fucking lay there, furious, for two hours. weird, maybe. but that's how it is.
It's just his letter, but oh, it's so tasty and I love "academic" wank on a Sunday, don't you?
|
|
(84 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, July 24th, 2008
| |
9:02 am - Frankly, Even Canton, Ohio Is Not All That Glamorous
|
madam_marozi
|
...or, how a throwaway line by Stephen Colbert sparked a debate on rural homozygosity.
On his July 21st show, Stephen Colbert mentioned that John McCain was going to visit Canton - "Not the crappy Canton in Georgia, I'm talking about Canton, Ohio!" The president of the Historic [crappy] Canton [in Georgia] Homeowners Association posted a snarky response on Colbert's message board daring Stephen to try and show his face at the "Mint Julep Party on the Porch" now. A few surprisingly earnest Colbert fans responded defensively and got poked with irony sticks, and a good time was had by all.
Flash forward a few days.
( crappy is as crappy does. )
katie just wants us to know: Whatever, I grew up in canton it does suck.
ETA: He apologized! He meant Canton, Kansas. No response as yet from the Topeka paper.
|
|
(80 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, July 20th, 2008
| |
12:20 pm - Got lactose intolerance?
|
|
| Friday, July 18th, 2008
| |
3:36 pm - Arbeit macht furry
|
altoidsaddict
|
Debating whether to put this in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif) unfunnybusiness, but while Nazis are certainly unfunny, debating the merits of Naziism is only the basis of this whole mess. If you don't enjoy Holocaust-related humor, it's probably worth it to skip the whole darn thing. Also stuff on Something Awful forums tends to be NSFW. So please, let's focus on the funny, because there's lots of it. Posted when the SA forums are public browsing, so at least right now it's out there for everyone to see.
( Because not everyone appreciates transgendered Nazi furries. )
|
|
(62 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, July 15th, 2008
| |
2:54 pm - Coffeewank!
|
hangingfire
|
This is an example of the wailing and gnashing of teeth that can ensue when you take coffee too seriously. Or, depending on which side you take, what happens when you don't take it seriously enough.
Jeff Simmermon of the And I Am Not Lying blog wanted an iced triple espresso from Murky Coffee in DC. He's informed that it's against Murky's policy to serve iced espresso, and when he orders the espresso and a cup of ice, he's told that "What you’re about to do … that’s really, really Not Okay." Simmermon takes exception to the barista's attitude, posts about it on his blog, and also shows the tip he left at Murky. The comments explode, some taking sides with Simmermon, others with the barista; the blog post ends up linked on BoingBoing; and the owner of Murky responds with a highly unambiguous "Fuck you, Jeff Simmermon".
Insert joke here about everyone needing to lay off the caffeine.
ETA—Dear Mod What Added Tags To This Entry: I luff you. ♥!
current mood: Caffeinated
|
|
(354 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
| |
7:33 pm - Violet Blue: Not so wonderful anymore, apparently
|
lottelita
|
It's already on clairvoyantwank, but with 1000+ BoingBoing comments and half the blogosphere a-titter, this wank has matured.
San Francisco sex blogger Violet Blue used to be chummy with the folks at Boing Boing, and naturally, they linked her a lot. However, she recently discovered that they "unpublished" all posts that mentioned her, effectively excising her from the internet's most popular purveyor of wonderful things. Last week, VB wondered what happened (and note that all links to her blog are NSFW). Valleywag, "Silicon Valley's tech gossip rag" (must be thrilling) picked up the story, and promptly started sensationalizing the shit out of it: Did the Internet's free speech guardian try to hush up a girl-on-girl love affair?, they wondered, and speculated on How [Boing Boing editor] Xeni and Violet's Boing Boing affair went sour." It gets Dugg, of course, and pretty soon we're hearing about censorship, Trotsky and "strangely unethical" goings on. Violet posts a tiny-violin follow-up and people start pestering the Boing Boing editors in comments to unrelated posts.
So finally, Boing Boing responds. They say they did the "unpublishing" a year ago. They say they notified Blue. And then, in (*checks bottom of page*) 1100 comments and counting, the shit hits the fan. People accuse Boing Boing of hypocrisy, 1984 allusions fly all over the place, and the Boing Boing comment moderater completely fails to hold the moral high ground as she dances around explaining what Blue did that was so "evil." It's a huge game of they-said, she-said at this point, and figuring out what the hell is going on is frankly less interesting than tracking the endless comparisons to Stalinism. Nothing is like the gulags, people. Nothing.
Now with highlights!
Metafilter commenter sends BB a note from Winston Smith
Scalzi gets his teal deer on, defending Cory Doctorow from the mean metafilterians
Boing Boing's haters are worse than Donald Rumsfeld!
Whether it is redaction, bowdlerization, expurgation, or censorship I see no place for it here."
Boing Boing hates your freedom, just like the Republicans. :(
The OED doesn't deserve this kind of abuse.
BB Moderator Teresa COULD say something mean about that evil, lying attention-whore ... but she won't.
|
|
(58 comments | comment on this)
|
| |
6:28 pm - Attention Associates, wank spill in the freezer section.
|
platedlizard
|
A bit of a mini wank that's a tad old, fortunately it freezes well.
Life Hacker posts a tip from Lunch in Box about a nifty way to freeze ground meat. Take your ground meat, put it in a gallon ziplock bag, pound it flat, and use a chopstick or ruler to press four lines into it to create nine square patties. Freeze. A nifty little hint that just takes a moment to do, saves bags, freezer space, and makes it easy to watch your portions.
It starts off well, with people posting their own helpful hints, but quickly goes downhill.
lionalbob,
Isn't this precise measuring procedure anal retentive or OCD symptoms?
People respond politely:
johnydover,
Or if you're on a diet and you're counting calories, or you can use the pre-proportions to make sure you don't break yourself off too much red meat at once, etc. It's a way of being aware of exactly how much you're eating.
A lot of people have dietary restrictions due to illness, too. Diabetics don't have to keep too much track of protein, but they're required to have a certain amount to balance out their limited carb consumption
Naturally, this doesn't go over too well:
Deprog Mori,
You don't need this for dietary restrictions. If you can't figure out how to limit your intake of X ingredient just by using common sense, you're screwed.
This is the OCD/AR version of portion control, but it really doesn't convey any sort of advantage to anyone.
Bruce A,
@Deprong Mori: Are you serious? OK, so let me run this by you: which is better? Being able to break off a couple patties which will thaw quickly or having to thaw a whole pound of ground beef when you only needed half a pound? I don't know about you, but I'm going to say option #1 is more advantageous.
Deprog Mori,
Nah, you don't freeze a whole pound of ground beef. Portion it any way you want, but don't be so AR/OCD about the whole thing. Duh.
Just portion your ground beef quickly. Just form a hamburger patty in the size and shape of a hamburger patty. Whether or not it's within 50 grams of a baseline amount is irrelevant.
Jesus, are you folks that fucking lame to not understand this?
And it goes on from there. Good times.
|
|
(151 comments | comment on this)
|
| |
10:16 am - Boing?
|
knightrider
|
I don't think I've ever seen BoingBoing wank here - is there a reason for that or just that nobody thinks to look there? The place explodes at least once a fortnight, and an experienced wanka can pick where the good stuff is gonna hit. The lastest 'splodey on the forum follows one of Cory Doctorow's posts - Hot day fun for kids - paint the house with water!
You can probably see where this is going: the "Don't you know there's a drought on?" folks are slugging it out with the "let the kids have their fun" folks, so there's fun for all.
Just a tip - for those who don't regularly frequent BoingBoing, it's a moderated forum - if someone has pissed a mod off you'll see their post come up "disemvowelled" - you can usually make out what is being said if you want to hard enough.
I couldn't find any tags that said "conservation" or "environmentalism", so I've left them off - sorry!
|
|
(73 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, July 1st, 2008
| |
12:57 pm - LITERARY AGENT SUES THE INTERNET FOR BEING MEAN TO HER. NEWS AT 11.
|
llama_treats
|
It all started with a list - a list of questionable literary agencies and agents. Unfortunately, someone named Barbara Bauer was on this list. This made her very, very, very, very unhappy. (So unhappy, in fact, she demanded A BILLION DOLLARS from several bloggers for her pain and suffering.) Why, oh why won't they fork over the dough? And why are they laughing? What's a poor, maligned literary agent to do? SUE WIKIPEDIA AND THE BLOGOSPHERE!, that's what. Hmmph. That'll show 'em!
Oops...DISMISSED! Wikipedia, you bastard!
(SRS BZNS ETA: I've received some additional info about the court cases that are still pending, which can be found here)
|
|
(84 comments | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
