The cat must DIE!!!!
I came across this on a friend's list (it's since been locked, see link below). We've got cats, kids, blood and big hugs. Sounds like great ingredients for drama and wank to me. Apparently, Happyminion is a BNF in Smallville or some such. She's also a mother and a cat owner. It appears that her hellspawn child and her cat don't get along as evidenced by this post in which she proclaims that she is not cut out to be a mother because the cat attacked her two year old. There are lots of sympathy comments stroking her ego and expressing the will to smear the cat against a wall or otherwise kill the critter. Although, I think my favorite justification for killing the cat is this pleasant little anecdote.

Some people suggest that it's not really that cat's fault, but HM doesn't care. She readily admits that her child torments the cat, but says "I don't give a shit if she was sitting on him and pulling out his hairs one by one." Talk about unreal expectations from a poor animal. I certainly wouldn't show that much restraint, how can you expect that cat to? You'd think that would be a good reason to keep them separated or at least declawed.

HM asks if anyone wants the cat. There's a lot more consolation and cat smiting. The end result of the cat attack is that the child goes to the ER with an infection from the scratches. Again HM is reassured that she's "a damned fine mum and a responsible pet owner". So, why does her child "look like she got a beat down from a barbed wire fence" and her cat is now free to a good home? (and her dog also apparently)

Don't get me wrong, I think it's very traumatizing for both the child and the cat, but it's the result of not taking the proper precautions while aware that A) the cat has claws B) the kid torments the cat C) the cat's gonna lay the smackdown sooner or later. Overall, the obliviousness of the OP, the cat killing comments and the leap to reassure her mothering skills just seem to make it terribly wanky. Is it really so hard to take precautions when you have both a cat and a child in the house? If you put little plastic plugs in your electric sockets, child-proof all the sharp edges in the house and take away all the sharp pointy objects, shouldn't that include the claws on the cat?

I have to say that out of this whole wank, I really want to know, did she really name her child Wob?! Think of the children! Think of the kitties! Oh for the love of spooge, just look at the wank.

P.S. First wank...how far off base am I?

Edit: I retract my suggestion of declawing. I've never owned a cat before and after reading several comments about how cruel declawing is, I looked it up. Ouch!

Edit #2: For the morbidly curious, I was able to save the wank, though I screwed up the formatting. Here is the Cat Wank