You did what with the what now?
Ok, this is old, and locked, but too good not to share.

Over on Babycenter (warning: the whole site is infested with pictures of fetuses) there is a support page for women who want a child who are in partnerships with men who don't. It is kind of a sad situation, to be sure. But....

Page 1 Julymomie079 admits to poking holes in all her husband's rubbers in her desperation to get knocked up. Her cutsey abbreviations for sex terms are almost as bad as her freakish behavior. She requests "no flames."

Ha.

Immediately, people volunteer that they've scooped semen out of used condoms in an attempt to get pregnant behind hubby's back before. They empathize with her slim chances of any sperm making their way through the holes in the rubbers and the spermicide. I try to forcibly scoop my jaw up off the floor.

Then DaddyGirl78 shows up: I can not believe how dishonest and backstabbing you people who think that these actions are excusable are. Martens28 thinks that the board is being abused when it's used to swap tales of dirty tricks instead of support.

On Page 2 we get 'how dare you judge her', with the 'God doesn't want you to judge people' variation. We also get the OP getting foul-mouthed in her own defense, and ominous rumors of the thread being linked to other boards for mocking and dismay....

Page 3 starts with a bang, as the OP uses netspeak to defend how educated she is. Somewhere in the post, she also states that she's confessed to her husband and they've talked it out, but this is buried in crud and most people miss it.

Also on this page, both sides of the debate start slinging God's opinion around, suggestions of therapy are proferred, and the community guidelines are cited.

Page 4 is where the drive-bys from Cruel Site of the Day start showing up. Someone uses rape as a metaphor, someone refers to abortion as murder, someone states that if the husband really didn't want another kid he would be entirely celibate, someone tells the OP that she owes it to her husband to leave him after such a deception. Both sides are pretty much knee deep in it at this point.

And finally, Page 5, where we finally get to the mis-spelled spelling-bashing posts, the 'you're so mean, I hope you never have children', the 'don't judge her, she's had two miscarriages', the suggestions that the OP get a puppy because she'd clearly screw up a child, and from what I can reconstruct, a now-deleted but apparently fairly rank trolling post by someone using the handle BabyShitEater.

Since at this point the wank is pretty much complete, the thread gets locked.

ETA: a non-cracked link.

(Post a new comment)

	smo 2004-07-08 09:27 pm UTC (link)
	scooped semen out of used condoms in an attempt to get pregnant behind hubby's back There are no words. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	snarl 2004-07-08 09:34 pm UTC (link)
	I have two: Turkey Baster. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ataniell93 2004-07-08 11:55 pm UTC (link)
	The fact that these bitcas can't figure that out is proof of evolution in action. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

snarl
2004-07-09 02:57 am UTC (link)

They're making me think China has the right idea about all this.

Still, though, damn: if you want to have a baby that much, single motherhood is still a viable option, no matter what the hand-wringing of gormless conservatives and liberals would have you think. Children raised by single parents don't automatically come out of the womb deformed, diseased, and destined for a life of crack addiction, prostitution, and low SAT scores.

And yet, why do I get the feeling these brainless cunts are exactly the sort of "pro-family" paleoconservatives who think that marriage is some kind of universal panacaea?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	spacefille 2004-07-10 08:54 am UTC (link)
	Hey I know I'm planning on being a single mom if I'm not married by thirty, and I'll be damned if my child has low SAT scores. Amoung other things. shakes head Wow. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Pathetic Wanna-bes deoridhe 2004-07-08 09:37 pm UTC (link)
	And here we have desperate women who seem to think only of their own desires, thus undermining their relationships with the men in their lives. How pathetic. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: Pathetic Wanna-bes iczer6 2004-07-09 12:01 am UTC (link)
	God yes. This is also the type of behavior we rant about on CF. I just can't understand that if these women want babies so damn much why don't they go out and find a guy who also wants kids? It's a lot more honest than staying with, and trying to trick/lie to, or force a man who doesn't want kids to be a father. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Pathetic Wanna-bes (Anonymous) 2004-07-23 05:44 pm UTC (link)
	What truely got me was that in fact her husband seems to not be adverse to more children but not right now because she has miscarried TWICE in the last eight months. Is waiting a year that hard? Is not dying really not worth not having a kid right then? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sorchar 2004-07-08 09:59 pm UTC (link)
	Where are all the fetus pictures? I'm disappointed. You lied to me, dammit! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	teratologist 2004-07-09 04:16 am UTC (link)
	You didn't get the banner with the fetus? That's weird, I got it on every single damn page I loaded. Perhaps I'm just lucky. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sorchar 2004-07-09 06:08 am UTC (link)
	envies (Reply to this)(Parent)

virago
2004-07-08 10:36 pm UTC (link)

Wow. I read the first line, got up to do something else, and thought, "You know, I wonder if it's 'mostly women offering each other support' or 'mostly the sort who would poke holes in rubbers to sabotage their partner's wishes.'" This is the sort of thing you hope is an urban legend, even if, unfortunately, it's not.

I am glad to see flames in that case, and any of those "surprise, honey!" cases. Intentionally and knowingly bringing a child into a situation where it's clearly not wanted strikes me as unspeakably obnoxious. Yeah, that's wanky, I'm sure. Mea culpa.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	iczer6 2004-07-09 12:12 am UTC (link)
	I loved the 'how dare you disrespect her' bit. Because pointing that purposefully lying to your partner is a bad thing that will negatively affect your marriage, and the child you may end up having is the same thing as flaming. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	lots42 2004-07-11 03:52 pm UTC (link)
	Every woman who ever had a miscarriage is immune from criticism forEVAR. wanks (Reply to this)(Parent)

	visp 2004-07-09 02:49 am UTC (link)
	I don't care how much you want a baby, that's still sick and wrong. (Reply to this)

	dawnswalker 2004-07-09 04:53 am UTC (link)
	I hope those husbands/boyfriends/one-night-stands have vasectomies covered in their insurance policies, because boy, are they ever going to need them. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2004-07-10 04:27 pm UTC (link)
	thats why if I ever get the money, I want to get fixed. as Niccolas Cage's character in The Rock said 'it should be a crime to bring a child into this world...' (Reply to this)(Parent)

oxydosic
2004-07-09 01:35 pm UTC (link)

Cripes...i used to hang out on a parenting site called parentsplace when i was pregnant with my first and there's a reason i don't go near those parenting sites anymore. Too many women obsessed with babies to the point it eclipses all sanity and anything else in their lives.

I have in the past pointed out to people who have tried that sort of thing that you're not doing the kid any favors by bringing it into a home where it's not wanted by one of the parents, but it's pointless because if you disagree with their dishonesty then you're some heartless bitch that wants to deny them their god-given right to have babies. They just don't get it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

teratologist
2004-07-09 01:48 pm UTC (link)

And it's not even as if this Julymomie woman is being denied the experience of motherhood* - she has one, it's trying for another that her husband is reluctant to do.

*not that it would make her actions ok if she were childless, but after having one, you'd think that the magical 'babies make me complete and are necessary and sufficient to have a good life' frenzy would wear off.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

*snort*

ragnarok
2004-07-09 03:49 pm UTC (link)

Oddly, this is how my sister came into being. My father wanted kids, but was expecting to wait a while, my mother cheerfully stopped taking her pills.

I love my mother, but it was a stupid move. Instead of waiting til they were financially sound to have children, they instead destined themselves to remain dirt poor while trying to raise her. Result? Neither my sister nor I have a college education due to money issues, and we're both stuck in lower-middle class jobs. I'm considering going back for futher schooling, but we'll see how the cash works out.

(I, on the other hand, prove that foams and jellies don't work that well. *nod* )

(Reply to this)

	ahiru 2004-07-09 08:35 pm UTC (link)
	Page three amuses me. Somewhere, God is reading that and thinking, "Dude, why do people always have to drag Me into their dumbass arguments? It's making Me look stupid and that bastard Satan keeps making fun of Me for it. Maybe I should go borrow a few lightning bolts from Zeus..." (Reply to this)(Thread)

(Anonymous)
2004-07-09 10:49 pm UTC (link)

I know the pain of wanting a child very desperately. DBF and I were TTC#2 and were in our first cycle but we were kicked in the face when he had an accident at work and may of been exposed to HIV/Hep C. So we have to wait 6 months so we can make sure he is clear. I still want a child so desperately I told DBF that I'd be willing to risk it just to get pregnant. But then I wised up, one parent with HIV is bad, but two would be horrible.

Obviously, no one gives a fuck what happens to the CHILDREN in these situations. Yeah, one parent with HIV is bad, you fucking dipshit, but what about about the CHILD? AAAHHH MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2004-07-10 04:41 pm UTC (link)
	hands you and Advil type R (Reply to this)(Parent)