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	ecchaniz0r 2004-07-10 07:46 pm UTC (link)
	Uh...rock and roll, not influenced by blacks? BAHHEHAHAHAHEHAHEHAHAHAAAA~! *wheeze* *wipes away a tear* Ohhhhh mercy XD (Reply to this)(Thread)

	llama_treats 2004-07-10 08:32 pm UTC (link)
	You've got to wonder what the weather's like on the planet where those people live. I couldn't even make this shit up, man. (Reply to this)(Parent)

wankprophet 2004-07-10 11:35 pm UTC (link)

No, no...be fair. The way I hear it, in 1949, the Imperial Grand Wizard of the Ku Clucks (sic) Klan, Cletus, was working out his definitive theory of how God created the world in 1903 and, due to Divine Cataracts, didn't realize he had made some of the people black. The dumb fucker. Cletus hit writer's block while trying to rationalize fossils and proto-humanoid skeletons in Africa. The way he figured it, those were the remains of the angels who rebelled against God and tried to desegregate Heaven and were cast down, which happened like, you know, a hunnerd years afore God created Earth an' that's why they wuz so old-like. But he couldn't figure out white archeologists were in Africa to find them in the first place, so he just scratched his head and thought. Eventually, he started drawing blood from scratching, so he decided to go for a walk. As he was passing by a small dive, he heard strains of blues music coming from inside, and was suddenly enraged. Well, he was enraged 10 minutes later, after he managed to work out that just because he couldn't see the singer, that didn't mean he wasn't black. So he started throwing stones at the building. Given that he had the physique of a turnip, the stones all went about 2 meters in the air before falling to the ground. Undiscouraged, he kept trying to cover the 100 meters that separated him from the building while shouting obscenities. Someone inside noticed him through a window, and soon a crowd had emerged to watch this white supremacist demonstrate his superiority. Soon, the band started jamming along as Cletus grunted and cursed (and, as coincidence would have it, a young Chuck Berry was inspired to create the Twist from watching Cletus writhing as he kept trying to throw the rocks further than 6 feet.) This just infuriated him further, so he pulled his white hood from his back pocket and put it on his head. Unfortunately, he put it on backwards, and, not being able to figure out why he couldn't see, started stumbling toward the music, throwing more rocks. He kept stumbling and falling over, grabbing more stones as he stood up. Even the blues musicians couldn't stay depressed, and they started playing to the beat of Cletus' screaming obsceneties. "Man, watch that cracker throw those rocks and roll over," the singer noted, and thus was born the term "rock-n-roll." So, in a way, a white man was responsible for rock-n-roll. And for the birth of ratings systems for obscenity in music albums. Then there was Elbert, who, at age 58, became the High Schmoop of the Louisiana Chapter of the Aryan Nation in the mid-70's. Unfortuntely, his momma died around that time, so he had to learn to tie his own shoes. He was trying to tie his laces into a bow, without much success, and tumbled over. Single-minded to a fault (he spent his entire 20's trying to figure out whether the fact that black people had white teeth meant there was some miscegenation in their past), he continued to try to tie them for 20 minutes, spinning and tumbling around. One of his underlings, watching the grunting, sweating man contorting on the floor, remarked, "He's gonna break something." Thus was born the art of "break-dancing." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	llama_treats 2004-07-11 12:39 am UTC (link)
	So, do you subscribe to the "Rap as hillbilly mating ritual" theory or are you more of a "Rap as a Klansman initiation protocol" fellow? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	wankprophet 2004-07-11 03:20 am UTC (link)
	I think rap sprang directly from Turkey in the Straw. Indeed, didn't RunDMC do a cover of that? Or was that NWA? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	krazycat 2004-07-11 07:37 pm UTC (link)
	I think I just fell in love with you (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Reply from suspended user)

	mariagoner 2004-07-16 05:00 pm UTC (link)
	You definitely deserve a nice round of oral sex clapping from all of us here for that effort. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	visp 2004-07-10 10:13 pm UTC (link)
	Well, if white nationalists frown on the practice of race-mixing, why do you think they would accept the fact that you get all hot and bothered at the idea of having sex with an anthropomorphic donkey? Bwahaha! Oh well, looking for logic in a White Supremecy belief is hopeless, so I don't see why this should surprise me. (Reply to this)

gal_montag 2004-07-11 04:06 am UTC (link)

So like, are these people white supremists in denial or something? And hi, the term rock n' roll is black slang and did you ever wonder why they had all those signs about negro music corrupting morals and summat? Because Elvis created rock n' roll. And like, where the hell would poor blacks living in Harlem get their hands on German synth-pop so it could inspire them towards rap? (Reply to this)(Thread)

necronomist 2004-07-11 07:57 pm UTC (link)

"where the hell would poor blacks living in Harlem get their hands on German synth-pop so it could inspire them towards rap" The record store. Where they also got soul, go-go, disco and other stuff sampled into old school rap. Liek OMG musicial miscegnation!11!111 Unlike these examples of the superiority of unforked family trees *snort*, old school DJs and rappers were willing to listen and use everything they could get their hands on. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	gal_montag 2004-07-11 09:05 pm UTC (link)
	Well I just wouldn't have thought that German synth-pop was something a person could *find* in the US in the middle-late 70s without actively looking for it and knowing it was there. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	necronomist 2004-07-12 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	Admittedly, I am only going on what little I remember about old school rap, but I do know that DJs took great pride in finding the rarest sort of music, which would include Kraftwerk. You would have to look for it, of course. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	blackjackrocket 2004-07-12 09:23 am UTC (link)
	Yet another classic icon of the kind that make me giggle hysterically, knowing that you and I are of the VERY few who would get it. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	necronomist 2004-07-14 02:48 am UTC (link)
	Plus the person who made the icon for me. *waves to bitterfly* (Reply to this)(Parent)

	lots42 2004-07-11 03:43 pm UTC (link)
	No, no, it's okay if it's a blone-haired, blue-eyed anthro-donkey (Reply to this)