Bwee! Con-wank!
Ah, anime conventions. They're such wonderful, smelly places full of opportunities to spend your hard-earned money on Japanese goodies. While these all may be fun and smiles on the outside...they really get interesting once you get on the inside.

Take this little juicy tidbit, for example. This is but a sample of what usually goes on behind those folding con walls.

LadyRaven is the con chair for Kamikaze Con here in Houston. Its first con will be held in March next year.

LadyRaven feels like it would be a good idea to advertise her con on the cosplay.com message boards. Fair enough. She had a cosplay event to talk about. So she posts this message, with the subject line "Kamikaze Con, Houston's Largest Anime Convention".

This, of course, upsets delegates from at least one other about-to-happen con in the area, namely Cherry from Oni-Con. This con will have its first in late October.

Many of Cherry's posts have been "[ Removed by Cherry due to un-needed drama ]", but the first one is conveniently quoted in the reply, where she says "weird how you can be the biggest when it just so happens Oni-Con is".

Several people speak up to back-up what Cherry said, most noteably being Trinity, who quickly left the scene shortly after to get changed into her snappy pinstripe dress-suit. You'll find out why shortly.

LadyRaven finally explains by saying she counted Kamikaze Con as being the "biggest" because of a mini-event held late last year where they hosted Yoshiyuki Tomino and had a conference of sorts with 500 attendees. (Tomino is the creator of the Gundam series.)

Cherry fires back with then Chibicon is the biggest, yo. Chibicon is the smaller version of O-Chibicon, whose first three-day con is next weekend. I've personally attended the last four or five Chibicons, and I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt, if they had more than 200 people there for each of them, I will happily remove my hard drive and dine upon it with a spot of fine red wine.

This goes on for six more pages. Highlights include:

"Wasn't Kamikaze Con responsible for that cool grown-up party that I wasn't allowed to go to *tantrum* just couldn't make it to?"

Someone save this poor, innocent soul before it is tainted beyond recognition.

MENTHU comes in with a healthy dose of accusations, threats, and law suits!

Cherry evokes her personal internet lawyer! And she actually shows up! (Complete with Law and Order's DON DON sound.)

And then, Cherry does some pseudo name-dropping.

Eventually, the con chair for Oni-Con, moonglaive, posts to tell everyone to knock it off already.

But they don't begin to stop until the general populace is reduced to screaming.

It's worth noting that not once did any O-Chibicon (the other Houston con having its first con next weekend) head-people show up in this. It's probably for the best, they need to be working on their con more than squibbling with people about semantics on a cosplay forum.

Finally, after much tribulation, the admin cometh with the smackdown. Verily.